I completely accept that some women have serious problems once a month and do not want to dismiss people with a genuine issue.

However, I work with a lot of women and this issue comes up a lot especially when dealing with male bosses. You mention female problems to them and they run a mile.

Personally, I don't get embarrassed and start asking questions. The responses I get make me think that women use it more as a get out clause than as a genuine problem.

I think those that do are despicable. People will stop believing female problems as an issue and won't believe whose with a serious issue.

I have legit problems but there is NO WAY IN HELL I would tell anyone about it at my workplace.

Am I ashamed of my sex? Do I see it as admitting weakness? Would it just make me a whinger? Dunno. The people at work that I report to are all women but I would still not tell them ANYTHING.

The thing I see much more used as an excuse is having kids.

Like: sorry can't come to work today, my kid is sick (so she stays home and never her husband) Or: my boy plays a part in a theater play at school and yeah it's his first time and I'm so proud of him, so no I can't be here this afternoon. I HAVE to go and see my kid.

Uhhm, maybe you have to reconsider having kids AND a job? Or at the very least share the burden of those tasks with your husband a little more, so we don't have to put up with it all the time??

Maybe some women do, but the bottom line is when a co-worker/employee tells you they are ill it is completely inappropriate to ask "with what?".

My last job had a supervisor that would insist on knowing what was exactly wrong with you if you called in sick. Fucking cunt, it's none of your business. If I'm gone for several days, sure then ask....otherwise fuck the hell off.

i don't want to know about this stuff. not because i fear women...it's just too personal. it's like someone telling me they have diarrhoea. TMI.

Tremolina said:

The thing I see much more used as an excuse is having kids.

Like: sorry can't come to work today, my kid is sick (so she stays home and never her husband) Or: my boy plays a part in a theater play at school and yeah it's his first time and I'm so proud of him, so no I can't be here this afternoon. I HAVE to go and see my kid.

Uhhm, maybe you have to reconsider having kids AND a job? Or at the very least share the burden of those tasks with your husband a little more, so we don't have to put up with it all the time??

Ugh. This is where being a single parent totally, TOTALLY blows. My son went through a really rough period where he was very ill for months and months and I missed so much work because of it. I was so lucky to have the coolest boss ever that understood that I was trying to deal with this. I tried to make up the missed time in various other ways...that's all I could do.

JustErin said:

Tremolina said:

The thing I see much more used as an excuse is having kids.

Like: sorry can't come to work today, my kid is sick (so she stays home and never her husband) Or: my boy plays a part in a theater play at school and yeah it's his first time and I'm so proud of him, so no I can't be here this afternoon. I HAVE to go and see my kid.

Uhhm, maybe you have to reconsider having kids AND a job? Or at the very least share the burden of those tasks with your husband a little more, so we don't have to put up with it all the time??

Ugh. This is where being a single parent totally, TOTALLY blows. My son went through a really rough period where he was very ill for months and months and I missed so much work because of it. I was so lucky to have the coolest boss ever that understood that I was trying to deal with this. I tried to make up the missed time in various other ways...that's all I could do.

I would be so much more lenient with those issues if the woman was a single mother. But she is not. In fact, she and her husband have three children and both fulltime jobs. That in itself is rather asking for trouble, so whenever there is a problem, the job has to suffer.

NOT HIS JOB THO

Yes, they do.

Tremolina said:

The thing I see much more used as an excuse is having kids.

Like: sorry can't come to work today, my kid is sick (so she stays home and never her husband) Or: my boy plays a part in a theater play at school and yeah it's his first time and I'm so proud of him, so no I can't be here this afternoon. I HAVE to go and see my kid.

Uhhm, maybe you have to reconsider having kids AND a job? Or at the very least share the burden of those tasks with your husband a little more, so we don't have to put up with it all the time??

Here is why this would happen... When i used to work fulltime I never had a job living in small town america that paid ME more than $10.00 an hour... My husband on the other hand makes WAYYYYYYYYYYYY more than that... So I should risk jeapordizing his job for my stupid 10 bucks an hour... NO!

I do agree though, I hate when people repeatedly call in for stuff like this.. Thank goodness my kids were hardly ever sick but the point is, you have to weigh which is more important... Its not fair to the other job I agree, but if you hire a woman who has kids you have to know in the back of your mind she more than likely will be the one who stays home... Im not agreeing with this situation, but trying to explain why it happens...

Besides, I dont know of any child that wants their Dad to stay home with them when they are sick..

As far as using female probs for an excuse... I never have, I just suck it up...

Tremolina said:

The thing I see much more used as an excuse is having kids.

Like: sorry can't come to work today, my kid is sick (so she stays home and never her husband) Or: my boy plays a part in a theater play at school and yeah it's his first time and I'm so proud of him, so no I can't be here this afternoon. I HAVE to go and see my kid.

Uhhm, maybe you have to reconsider having kids AND a job? Or at the very least share the burden of those tasks with your husband a little more, so we don't have to put up with it all the time??

OMG!

'Kids' is so much worse.

I don't know how it works in the US but in the UK we pay people to have kids and still they can't organise their lives to fit in work.

I say: If you can't afford a kid without working, don't have a kid!

1) I have had serious "women's problems" over the years, to the point where I couldn't get out of bed at times. I once had my period for 18 days.

When I could drag myself to work, I was heavily medicated. I'm a teacher. When a student asked me if I was on drugs, that was an issue.
I eventually missed 6 weeks of school to have surgery for my problem.
I hate when people blame PMS when the truth is they are just being bitchy BECAUSE they have their periods. I pulled a student aside who was totally incorrigible and told her not to EVER use that as an excuse...

2) My classroom-mate has 3 kids. When illness hits that household, it's usually a long stretch. She and her husband take turns, depending on who has a meeting (he's got a major position at B&N) or specific plans at work. She's fair with it. She'll joke that she's a horrible mother because she doesn't take off for every little school thing.

Another coworker signed up to be "class mother" and missed her own class constantly for her sons when they were younger.
I guess it's what people find a priority.

I don't have children, so I can't say what I'd do...

chocolate1 said:

1) I have had serious "women's problems" over the years, to the point where I couldn't get out of bed at times. I once had my period for 18 days.

When I could drag myself to work, I was heavily medicated. I'm a teacher. When a student asked me if I was on drugs, that was an issue.
I eventually missed 6 weeks of school to have surgery for my problem.
I hate when people blame PMS when the truth is they are just being bitchy BECAUSE they have their periods. I pulled a student aside who was totally incorrigible and told her not to EVER use that as an excuse...

2) My classroom-mate has 3 kids. When illness hits that household, it's usually a long stretch. She and her husband take turns, depending on who has a meeting (he's got a major position at B&N) or specific plans at work. She's fair with it. She'll joke that she's a horrible mother because she doesn't take off for every little school thing.

Another coworker signed up to be "class mother" and missed her own class constantly for her sons when they were younger.
I guess it's what people find a priority.

I don't have children, so I can't say what I'd do...

Agree! That is a totally diff situation! When i say I suck it up, I am talking about general cramps and all the rest that goes along with it... If you have just general run of the mill female probs one should NEVER use that as an excuse... men will never understand what it or a person feels like when its that "time"...

tinaz said:

chocolate1 said:

1) I have had serious "women's problems" over the years, to the point where I couldn't get out of bed at times. I once had my period for 18 days.

When I could drag myself to work, I was heavily medicated. I'm a teacher. When a student asked me if I was on drugs, that was an issue.
I eventually missed 6 weeks of school to have surgery for my problem.
I hate when people blame PMS when the truth is they are just being bitchy BECAUSE they have their periods. I pulled a student aside who was totally incorrigible and told her not to EVER use that as an excuse...

2) My classroom-mate has 3 kids. When illness hits that household, it's usually a long stretch. She and her husband take turns, depending on who has a meeting (he's got a major position at B&N) or specific plans at work. She's fair with it. She'll joke that she's a horrible mother because she doesn't take off for every little school thing.

Another coworker signed up to be "class mother" and missed her own class constantly for her sons when they were younger.
I guess it's what people find a priority.

I don't have children, so I can't say what I'd do...

Agree! That is a totally diff situation! When i say I suck it up, I am talking about general cramps and all the rest that goes along with it... If you have just general run of the mill female probs one should NEVER use that as an excuse... men will never understand what it or a person feels like when its that "time"...

Yet they seem to think it's funny.

chocolate1 said:

tinaz said:

Agree! That is a totally diff situation! When i say I suck it up, I am talking about general cramps and all the rest that goes along with it... If you have just general run of the mill female probs one should NEVER use that as an excuse... men will never understand what it or a person feels like when its that "time"...

Yet they seem to think it's funny.

Fuckers!

tinaz said:

Tremolina said:

The thing I see much more used as an excuse is having kids.

Like: sorry can't come to work today, my kid is sick (so she stays home and never her husband) Or: my boy plays a part in a theater play at school and yeah it's his first time and I'm so proud of him, so no I can't be here this afternoon. I HAVE to go and see my kid.

Uhhm, maybe you have to reconsider having kids AND a job? Or at the very least share the burden of those tasks with your husband a little more, so we don't have to put up with it all the time??

Here is why this would happen... When i used to work fulltime I never had a job living in small town america that paid ME more than $10.00 an hour... My husband on the other hand makes WAYYYYYYYYYYYY more than that... So I should risk jeapordizing his job for my stupid 10 bucks an hour... NO!

I do agree though, I hate when people repeatedly call in for stuff like this.. Thank goodness my kids were hardly ever sick but the point is, you have to weigh which is more important... Its not fair to the other job I agree, but if you hire a woman who has kids you have to know in the back of your mind she more than likely will be the one who stays home... Im not agreeing with this situation, but trying to explain why it happens...

Besides, I dont know of any child that wants their Dad to stay home with them when they are sick..

Well this woman may not make as much as her husband, but she certainly makes way more than 10 an hour, carries a lot of responsibility in her job and works fulltime. And while I get it, it's not an excuse what you just explained either. In fact it's rather an admission that a woman actively chooses to abuse her job possibilities in situations like this.

Strange no? This woman really wants to be equals, work equal hours and make the same money etc but still she tends to take up that self sacrificingbut also manipulative, abusive role more often. Why would she want to do that? I know why, because her husband absolutely REFUSES to do his part. So much for their equality.

[Edited 10/31/11 7:09am]

JustErin said:

Maybe some women do, but the bottom line is when a co-worker/employee tells you they are ill it is completely inappropriate to ask "with what?".

My last job had a supervisor that would insist on knowing what was exactly wrong with you if you called in sick. Fucking cunt, it's none of your business. If I'm gone for several days, sure then ask....otherwise fuck the hell off.

Agreed.

If someone's got an attendance issue, then it's time to have a talk, otherwise it's no one's business.

As for "female problems" there can be issues that are severe enough to keep you from work, but if it's every month, then treatment needs to be sought. It's like any other medical issue.

CarrieMpls said:

JustErin said:

Maybe some women do, but the bottom line is when a co-worker/employee tells you they are ill it is completely inappropriate to ask "with what?".

My last job had a supervisor that would insist on knowing what was exactly wrong with you if you called in sick. Fucking cunt, it's none of your business. If I'm gone for several days, sure then ask....otherwise fuck the hell off.

Agreed.

If someone's got an attendance issue, then it's time to have a talk, otherwise it's no one's business.

As for "female problems" there can be issues that are severe enough to keep you from work, but if it's every month, then treatment needs to be sought. It's like any other medical issue. :shrug:

I would just like to remind people that I did say at the very beginning that some women have serious medical issues. I think some use it as an excuse for a duvet day.

Is this issue or 'issue' affecting productivity that you know of? If so, then your boss needs to hire more men to at least balance the productivity, reducing the burden for both him and the workers. That's, if he could afford to. Don't know if it all makes sense

When I was having the "monthly visitor," I would often have to call in because I was in excruciating pain. My immediate supervisor was a physician, so he knew what I was going through and wouldn't bitch. One time I "sucked it up" and dragged my ass to the office. I was in so much pain, I took two different analgesics and promptly went into anaphylactic shock and had to be rushed downstairs to the emergency room. Fortunately, I worked in a hospital so I was seen immediately and given a shot of adrenaline.

Single worman with children can catch hell, however. Some do abuse it, but moe often than not, they had a legitimate excuse. I didn't have that problem becuase I didn't have any children.

Well, I don't have "female problems" because I'm a guy. But, when I call in sick, I've just always said, "I'm not feeling well. I won't be in today". It's never been a problem for me. I choose not to reveal any illnesses because I find when I've done so in the past and I come back to the office the next day, people are asking specific questions, which means my boss has announced to everyone why I called in.

[Edited 10/31/11 11:42am]

kitbradley said:

Well, I don't have "female problems" because I'm a guy. But, when I call in sick, I've just always said, "I'm not feeling well. I won't be in today". It's never been a problem for me. I choose not to reveal any illnesses because I find when I've done so in the past and I come back to the office the next day, people are asking specific questions, which means my boss has announced to everyone why I called in.

[Edited 10/31/11 11:42am]

The bosses at my work want to know details. If a woman calls and says 'female problems' no further questions are asked.

kitbradley said:

Well, I don't have "female problems" because I'm a guy. But, when I call in sick, I've just always said, "I'm not feeling well. I won't be in today". It's never been a problem for me. I choose not to reveal any illnesses because I find when I've done so in the past and I come back to the office the next day, people are asking specific questions, which means my boss has announced to everyone why I called in.

[Edited 10/31/11 11:42am]

Some bosses have no clue...I work with one who always announces conditions the minute she is off the phone. I purposely don't tell her shit, because I know she can't wait to share. Doesn't that violate HIPPA laws? Maybe we can get her fired!

Tremolina said:

JustErin said:

Ugh. This is where being a single parent totally, TOTALLY blows. My son went through a really rough period where he was very ill for months and months and I missed so much work because of it. I was so lucky to have the coolest boss ever that understood that I was trying to deal with this. I tried to make up the missed time in various other ways...that's all I could do.

I would be so much more lenient with those issues if the woman was a single mother. But she is not. In fact, she and her husband have three children and both fulltime jobs. That in itself is rather asking for trouble, so whenever there is a problem, the job has to suffer.

NOT HIS JOB THO

Let's make out.

I work mostly with women, and while they call in sick from time to time, not a single one has tried to get out of anything with me because of their period.

And if you've got the sick time, who cares why you use it?

JustErin said:

Tremolina said:

I would be so much more lenient with those issues if the woman was a single mother. But she is not. In fact, she and her husband have three children and both fulltime jobs. That in itself is rather asking for trouble, so whenever there is a problem, the job has to suffer.

NOT HIS JOB THO

Let's make out.

Yeah and skip work for the day

tinaz said:

As far as using female probs for an excuse... I never have, I just suck it up...

^that

Tremolina said:

JustErin said:

Let's make out.

Yeah and skip work for the day

I'll blame it on my "female problem".