...With the knowledge & maturity you have today, How would you change your life???

[I know one thing I'd do....Invest! ]

[Edited 10/5/11 1:09am]

i would have moved out of my parents house sooner.

Would never of said those F**King words..............................Eye Do.......Instead of married life i would have gone around the world on my own on a mission 2 shag a woman from every country.....

with the limited opportunities I had then, I doubt I could have changed so much or even wanted to.

BUT had I had some of the opportunities coming my way now, back THEN, the potential would be there for everything to be different.

I'm fond of daydreaming about my parallel universe life I catch glimpses of it now and then in the evening twilight.

ZombieKitten said:

with the limited opportunities I had then, I doubt I could have changed so much or even wanted to.

BUT had I had some of the opportunities coming my way now, back THEN, the potential would be there for everything to be different.

I'm fond of daydreaming about my parallel universe life I catch glimpses of it now and then in the evening twilight.

That is actually a beautiful thought & I like the way you wrote it.... I often think about stuff like that too. It would be nice to become what I want in my real life though...

everything i am doing now i wish i did 10 years ago

so 10 years would have made a massive difference 4 me.... i would b totally single and all the shit i am now going through will b in the past!!!

FuzzyWitch said:

everything i am doing now i wish i did 10 years ago

so 10 years would have made a massive difference 4 me.... i would b totally single and all the shit i am now going through will b in the past!!!

Oh my god, I'm going to cry :*(

There are a million things I could have done that I didn't. I could have worked harder to save money and leave home to live on campus instead of sticking around and experiencing the drama of my parents splitting. My dad said he would pay for campus fees but backed out cause he used it for other unnecessary things. I could have had a little more freedom and taken little trips, including ones to see mj in person though I had to turn down those opportunities. I could have studied something else though I do like what I chose though I'mconfused about where to work now. I could have taken my musical hobbies seriously and studied something more related to that and built confidence to make it instead of being timid and freaked out at the lack of privacy that would be involved with that kind of profession. If I was away from an unhealthy environment, I would have become more productive today in all ways generally and more independent perhaps, and my marks would have been higher in the first year, though I gradually improved since. If I continued piano and didn't stop the lessons, I could have taught to make extra money and stuff like that. I felt I was growing spiritually too when going to school, and that would have continued to make me strong, and though it has, I always feel things could be better :*(

I look at kids 10 years younger and shake my head at what could have been....I wouldn't have isolated myself so much and been so afraid of people and fun though I did have friends if I knew how I would be today. And most of all, though I was always an mj fan, liking him from afar in the 80's and early 90's, but escalating high in the mid 90's and then full blown obsession from 1999/2000 and onwards, I feel I let the emotional attachment get so far and I became so miserable with my own life to the point that I made his life my business cause I was lacking in mine, and I'm horrified with all that's happened with the trial and death, can't even admit how he died and what's happening to the point where my mind plays games with me to make me think I don't care though I do. It led to good memories of enjoying him with tons of people sure, and performing to his music and stuff like that, but it's too painful now and I shake my head at how excited I was over him in 2001, it doesn't feel like this is the same person I'm hearing about now cause it's painful as hell.

And I'm on drugs too. I needed them but wish I looked at other opportunities to get well too and knew more info when I first took them, cause weaning off the anti depressants just made me relapse worse though it's possible I got a misdiagnosis. I know the root of my issues and pain,but it's hard to undo years of it and my moods and jumbled thoughts and life. I just know I've been told I need them for the rest of my life, and though I can live with that, I feel it's sad I have some kind of dependency now. Oh, and I wouldn't have spent so much money like I think I'm the president...

[Edited 10/5/11 5:34am]

alphastreet said:

Oh my god, I'm going to cry :*(

There are a million things I could have done that I didn't. I could have worked harder to save money and leave home to live on campus instead of sticking around and experiencing the drama of my parents splitting. My dad said he would pay for campus fees but backed out cause he used it for other unnecessary things. I could have had a little more freedom and taken little trips, including ones to see mj in person though I had to turn down those opportunities. I could have studied something else though I do like what I chose though I'mconfused about where to work now. I could have taken my musical hobbies seriously and studied something more related to that and built confidence to make it instead of being timid and freaked out at the lack of privacy that would be involved with that kind of profession. If I was away from an unhealthy environment, I would have become more productive today in all ways generally and more independent perhaps, and my marks would have been higher in the first year, though I gradually improved since. If I continued piano and didn't stop the lessons, I could have taught to make extra money and stuff like that. I felt I was growing spiritually too when going to school, and that would have continued to make me strong, and though it has, I always feel things could be better :*(

I look at kids 10 years younger and shake my head at what could have been....I wouldn't have isolated myself so much and been so afraid of people and fun though I did have friends if I knew how I would be today. And most of all, though I was always an mj fan, liking him from afar in the 80's and early 90's, but escalating high in the mid 90's and then full blown obsession from 1999/2000 and onwards, I feel I let the emotional attachment get so far and I became so miserable with my own life to the point that I made his life my business cause I was lacking in mine, and I'm horrified with all that's happened with the trial and death, can't even admit how he died and what's happening to the point where my mind plays games with me to make me think I don't care though I do. It led to good memories of enjoying him with tons of people sure, and performing to his music and stuff like that, but it's too painful now and I shake my head at how excited I was over him in 2001, it doesn't feel like this is the same person I'm hearing about now cause it's painful as hell.

And I'm on drugs too. I needed them but wish I looked at other opportunities to get well too and knew more info when I first took them, cause weaning off the anti depressants just made me relapse worse though it's possible I got a misdiagnosis. I know the root of my issues and pain,but it's hard to undo years of it and my moods and jumbled thoughts and life. I just know I've been told I need them for the rest of my life, and though I can live with that, I feel it's sad I have some kind of dependency now. Oh, and I wouldn't have spent so much money like I think I'm the president...

[Edited 10/5/11 5:34am]

Dont cry.....

:*( Thanks dave. I feel foolish though, people have worse problems though I've had a chain of little ones. I had a few short lived bad relationships too that I got out of, filled with mysogyny and using weaknesses to get closer to me though I stood my ground in the end. I was trying to fill emotional voids, which is why I understand the attachment I formed too to the extreme I did. And I didn't realize it until recently, but I was a silent attention seeker for years and create drama in my head when it's too quiet cause there has been so much that not having it is not normal for me now. Even when obsessed, I would like wearing outfits with some influence of his though others too, and it gave me a sense of identity for a long, long time and made me feel noticed and not invisible, so in a way, it was attention seeking, for better or worse. I recognize it now. I really felt for a long time like I was dead and there was no hope for me. I have good days and bad days now, but my moods are awful and I need to change my meds somehow though I have other little issues I have to look at before considering it.

I help people with their problems as my profession and shake my head at all the shit they have to deal with, but feel I am so, so horrible at it and I don't know how to do it properly and feel guilty, though I think my lack of confidence makes me feel that way. And yet I can't help myself, just go on and on about it.

Ten years back? I would not have bought the house and spent my meager resources on differently. Taken better care of myself and been more assertive in most aspects of my life.

Now can you give me another decade? TWENTY years back? Knowing what I know now, I would've said 'no thank you' when offered to be introduced to the ex. As much as I love my kids and all the good times we had...I would definitely wipe it clean if given the opportunity right now (which is a good thing that this is all hypothetical).

And I know this is so so selfish and superficial, but I have been high for so many years off seeing him and though I would rather have him alive than the o2 shows by many miles, the fact I never ever got to see him perform makes me so sad, although at the same time, even when alive, I would feel sad he was hounded too, which is why although I had chances to go to non music appearances, I would have rather waited for a music one and it almost happened. But I realize I was obsessed and trying to fill a void and I'm the type of person who chases a rush or hype, and felt I would get a big one...I got greedy and selfish and feel guilty as hell :*( I wish he didn't feel pressured to do the shows and the guts to say no.

PurpleJedi said:

Ten years back? I would not have bought the house and spent my meager resources on differently. Taken better care of myself and been more assertive in most aspects of my life.

Now can you give me another decade? TWENTY years back? Knowing what I know now, I would've said 'no thank you' when offered to be introduced to the ex. As much as I love my kids and all the good times we had...I would definitely wipe it clean if given the opportunity right now (which is a good thing that this is all hypothetical).

I totally get what you mean. I think a lot of people would feel that way, so I'm happy you were willing to honest about it....

davetherave6767 said:

alphastreet said:

Oh my god, I'm going to cry :*(

There are a million things I could have done that I didn't. I could have worked harder to save money and leave home to live on campus instead of sticking around and experiencing the drama of my parents splitting. My dad said he would pay for campus fees but backed out cause he used it for other unnecessary things. I could have had a little more freedom and taken little trips, including ones to see mj in person though I had to turn down those opportunities. I could have studied something else though I do like what I chose though I'mconfused about where to work now. I could have taken my musical hobbies seriously and studied something more related to that and built confidence to make it instead of being timid and freaked out at the lack of privacy that would be involved with that kind of profession. If I was away from an unhealthy environment, I would have become more productive today in all ways generally and more independent perhaps, and my marks would have been higher in the first year, though I gradually improved since. If I continued piano and didn't stop the lessons, I could have taught to make extra money and stuff like that. I felt I was growing spiritually too when going to school, and that would have continued to make me strong, and though it has, I always feel things could be better :*(

I look at kids 10 years younger and shake my head at what could have been....I wouldn't have isolated myself so much and been so afraid of people and fun though I did have friends if I knew how I would be today. And most of all, though I was always an mj fan, liking him from afar in the 80's and early 90's, but escalating high in the mid 90's and then full blown obsession from 1999/2000 and onwards, I feel I let the emotional attachment get so far and I became so miserable with my own life to the point that I made his life my business cause I was lacking in mine, and I'm horrified with all that's happened with the trial and death, can't even admit how he died and what's happening to the point where my mind plays games with me to make me think I don't care though I do. It led to good memories of enjoying him with tons of people sure, and performing to his music and stuff like that, but it's too painful now and I shake my head at how excited I was over him in 2001, it doesn't feel like this is the same person I'm hearing about now cause it's painful as hell.

And I'm on drugs too. I needed them but wish I looked at other opportunities to get well too and knew more info when I first took them, cause weaning off the anti depressants just made me relapse worse though it's possible I got a misdiagnosis. I know the root of my issues and pain,but it's hard to undo years of it and my moods and jumbled thoughts and life. I just know I've been told I need them for the rest of my life, and though I can live with that, I feel it's sad I have some kind of dependency now. Oh, and I wouldn't have spent so much money like I think I'm the president...

[Edited 10/5/11 5:34am]

Dont cry.....

I second that....

Tittypants said:

PurpleJedi said:

Ten years back? I would not have bought the house and spent my meager resources on differently. Taken better care of myself and been more assertive in most aspects of my life.

Now can you give me another decade? TWENTY years back? Knowing what I know now, I would've said 'no thank you' when offered to be introduced to the ex. As much as I love my kids and all the good times we had...I would definitely wipe it clean if given the opportunity right now (which is a good thing that this is all hypothetical).

I totally get what you mean. I think a lot of people would feel that way, so I'm happy you were willing to honest about it....

Don't get me wrong, I'll take a bullet for any one of my kids and love them in a way I can't describe...but if you're giving me a choice...GO BACK with the knowledge that I know today.

Wouldn't happen. I'd probably just be settling down with someone now, at 40.

I wouldnt change anything... Life isnt perfect, you live, you learn..

alphastreet said:

And I know this is so so selfish and superficial, but I have been high for so many years off seeing him and though I would rather have him alive than the o2 shows by many miles, the fact I never ever got to see him perform makes me so sad, although at the same time, even when alive, I would feel sad he was hounded too, which is why although I had chances to go to non music appearances, I would have rather waited for a music one and it almost happened. But I realize I was obsessed and trying to fill a void and I'm the type of person who chases a rush or hype, and felt I would get a big one...I got greedy and selfish and feel guilty as hell :*( I wish he didn't feel pressured to do the shows and the guts to say no.

I miss MJ too. I was a fan from as far back as I can remember...

Most definitely, made a couple of not too bright choices that still impact me today, had some troubling obstacles then that I'm just now figuring out how to get around so having today's knowledge then would make a big difference in my life now.

Probably try to act more swiftly, not be held back by fear.

But that is advice I can just as easily take today.

specifically, I guess might be more cautious about debt

I have a better understanding of how that can affect your life

NDRU said:

Probably try to act more swiftly, not be held back by fear.

But that is advice I can just as easily take today.

I'm guilty of fear holding me back too..

Tittypants said:

...With the knowledge & maturity you have today, How would you change your life???

[I know one thing I'd do....Invest! ]

[Edited 10/5/11 1:09am]

Isn't life's experience our best teacher ? If we didn't go through the stuff that we went through, how can knowledge and maturity be obtained? Sure, many of us wish that what we know now could be applied to then, but if we really put that aside for a moment, what has it taught us so that we don't make the same mistakes again.

angel345 said:

Tittypants said:

...With the knowledge & maturity you have today, How would you change your life???

[I know one thing I'd do....Invest! ]

Isn't life's experience our best teacher ? If we didn't go through the stuff that we went through, how can knowledge and maturity be obtained? Sure, many of us wish that what we know now could be applied to then, but if we really put that aside for a moment, what has it taught us so that we don't make the same mistakes again.

I think that we all agree with that.

But Imag~er...I mean...Tittypants is posing a hypothetical "what if" type of question that'll never really happen.

WHAT IF you could go back 10 years and KEEP the knowledge and maturity that you've gained during this time...what would you do to change your life?

Let's say you invested your grandmother's life savings in Enron...surely you'd at least change THAT?

It would have to be the last 10.

I would have stayed in New Orleans and not worried that my mother would never come to see the baby. Eventually she would have.

We all know that in a way we are right where we should be in life; however I would really like to see where I would be and what my life would have been like had I stayed.

PurpleJedi said:

angel345 said:

Isn't life's experience our best teacher ? If we didn't go through the stuff that we went through, how can knowledge and maturity be obtained? Sure, many of us wish that what we know now could be applied to then, but if we really put that aside for a moment, what has it taught us so that we don't make the same mistakes again.

I think that we all agree with that.

But Imag~er...I mean...Tittypants is posing a hypothetical "what if" type of question that'll never really happen.

WHAT IF you could go back 10 years and KEEP the knowledge and maturity that you've gained during this time...what would you do to change your life?

Let's say you invested your grandmother's life savings in Enron...surely you'd at least change THAT?

Well, like you say no to the men I've dated or had relationships with who didn't have my best interest. Wish that I have seen my grandmother and father before they died. Not going to go into details, but I forgive my father. I feel sorry for the people who worked in Enron. No pension or 401k's Just saying, and I know what you mean.

angel345 said:

PurpleJedi said:

I think that we all agree with that.

But Imag~er...I mean...Tittypants is posing a hypothetical "what if" type of question that'll never really happen.

WHAT IF you could go back 10 years and KEEP the knowledge and maturity that you've gained during this time...what would you do to change your life?

Let's say you invested your grandmother's life savings in Enron...surely you'd at least change THAT?

Well, like you say no to the men I've dated or had relationships with who didn't have my best interest. Wish that I have seen my grandmother and father before they died. Not going to go into details, but I forgive my father. I feel sorry for the people who worked in Enron. No pension or 401k's Just saying, and I know what you mean.

If I could change one small thing...instead of spending all of my resources 15 years ago planning a wedding that frankly could've waited a year (or ten)...I would've saved up airfare to so see my paternal grandmother in Honduras, who would always ask me "when are you travelling down to see me?", before she died.

That right there is something that has always weighed on me.

I would've not wasted time in a place that I hated,trying to make it work with a person whom was too damn difficult, and stayed put in my hometown of NYC. Not moving back sooner might be my only regret in this life.

I wouldn't change a thing.

My Life isn't perfect today, but I am at my happiest, I have a beautiful Wife, Son and Step Daughter, I drive a car I have always wanted to own and live in a lovely house, granted we rent but we still live in it lol.

The thing is, that if you could go back and change things, then the outcome of your life will change too. That is inevitable, So, I wouldn't do it.

However, I would take more time out with the people I care about who are no longer with us. The most important thing I would do is I would give my Brother a hug and tell him I love him while we was waiting for his Train after he visited my Family for a weekend, I always regretted not doing that and now it is too late, Stupid Men and thier stupid Ego's

Their is no point wishing about your past and wondering if you should have done other things, its more important to ask yourself how you are going to change tomorrow

I would have saved money up double time before moving out of my parents house.

I would have waited at least 6 months later after buying my townhouse in which I would have had a smaller mortgage payment.

I would had kept the car I had in high school and saved more money.

I would had let that loser go that I was in a relationship with for 4 years after the first time we broke up (which would had been only a total of a year and half wasted on him instead).

I would had kept eating healthy and not went on that midnight Krispy Kreme run for 6 months which caused me to gain about 35 pounds.

I would had waited to attend graduate school until I was able to pay for it out of my pocket instead of getting student loans for it.

I would have STAYED in school...& got a decent job (hopefully)

also...i would never have bought this friggin money pit i live in....Next yr cannot come any sooner, we are house hunting!~~~

yes...20 yrs is long enough to live somewhere you Hate.

.