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Too friggin' funny!
" 
Heffa, you ain't doin shit else.
It's official, Teresa is equally as delusional as Danielle and I never, and I mean NEVER thought I would say that. She even took a dig at Jay Mohr in her blog!!!! 
He ain't force her to be on that show, she WANTED to be on the show. Otherwise she wouldn't be on for another year.
That was comical. 
She said that two years ago? What happened then? I need a recap.
All the reunion did for me is create more questions!!
Did that "Real Housewives of New Jersey" reunion seem a little perfunctory to you? Sure, if eye-rolling was an Olympic sport, Caroline Manzowould medal, and Teresa Giudice continues to mix metaphors with the v
igor of ... someone who doesn't speak English all that well. And at Red Bank's Count Basie Theater, where the reunion was rather incongruously held, Andy Cohen got things off to a rather sacrilegious start by lumping the housewives with other legends who have played there, including Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi. (Really, Andy? The man who gave us "Thunder Road" and the woman responsible for "On Display"?) No screaming, no one stalking off the set, no mannequin heads pulled dramatically out of designer bags, and, sadly, no one requiring the restraining hands of uber-butch Andy .. and sadly, no repeat of Teresa knocking Andy back into his seat.
No Jacqueline Laurita either. Andy says that Jacqueline decided to opt out of the reunion show because of "an incident" while filming the previous night at the dreaded Posche fashion show -- reportedly because Teresa may have had something to do with someone trying to out Melissa as a stripper. Caroline tells Andy that Jacqueline is "in a very bad place emotionally right now," looking pointedly at Teresa, who sighs. "She started something, she should have finished it," Teresa says. There's some discussion about whether Jacqueline or Teresa has been crying harder/longer/louder. Teresa says she was crying because "both of youse attacked me," then says they can't discuss it because it's fourth season, remember?
Andy brings up Teresa's cookbook, which appeared in the finale to be a dealbreaker for Caroline. Teresa sticks with her story: It's funny. She elaborates: "Ha ha." Melissa says she didn't make a big deal of it on the show, but she didn't appreciate Teresa's comment about her "baby sister-in-law" copying her. "Did I say your name?" is Teresa's defense. "I have three sisters-in-law. How did you know I was talking about you?" Then Teresa undercuts her own argument by saying that at the time she wrote the book, "That's how I felt, and that's what I did. It's funn-ee"
Discussion shifts to the stripper car wash crack, and whether that insulted Caroline's son. Of course it didn't, Teresa says. Then she repeats the crack and again provides her own laugh track. "Maybe you're embarrassed that your son wants to open a stripper car wash," Teresa says pointedly to Caroline. Caroline tells her she'll never be embarrassed of her son, and that she doesn't want Teresa to take the remark out of the book: "It shows who you are." Caroline then reveals that the cookbook tipped the scales for her; she had already started to wise up to Teresa when she realized that Melissa and Kathy were not the evil Gorgons Teresa has made them out to be. "I was horrible to them," Caroline says. "I was rude and I was horrible. That's what I was trained to believe." Teresa: "You're your own person, right? How did I influence you?"
Teresa admits that she was upset when Melissa and Kathy joined the show -- not because she didn't want to share the spotlight, but because neither woman had the courtesy to give her the heads-up about it. Melissa claims Teresa threatened her life over it, saying that Caroline was going to take her down, and that America was going to mock Melissa for her huge forehead. Teresa counters that she said that people have been making fun of her for her tiny forehead --I can vouch for that -- but Caroline says Teresa made fun of Melissa's forehead in private. Caroline: "You took these people and you crucified them to this country."
We are treated to a flashback of the christening. There's dead silence when we return to the reunion, although Teresa tears up. Melissa says that her husband felt left out of Teresa's life once she started doing the show, and wasn't even invited to the season two premiere party at the Brownstone, attended by more than 900 of the Housewives' nearest and dearest. Teresa says Melissa had just given birth, and didn't think he would want to attend. "This is what a good wife does," Teresa says. "She would have called me and be like, 'Teresa, you know I just gave birth to baby Joey ..." Much back-and-forth, and Kathy interrupts, calling Teresa on the "good wife" comment. "You're telling her, in fact, that she's not a good wife," Kathy says.
We move on to which Joe started the fight, and Melissa accepts some blame for her husband. Teresa says she took the high road: "I didn't ask for an apology or anything. I just forgave him because she's my brother." Caroline practically hoots: "That's forgiveness? I'm looking at the face of forgiveness?" Caroline tells Andy that Teresa told her she didn't want to make up with her brother because she's an ass. Teresa: "You're such a freaking liar! I'm, like, looking at Exorcist right now. You're, like, spinning. ... You're a freaking liar. You're pathetic."
A viewer asks about Teresa calling Melissa a gold digger, and Teresa denies it. (Her actual words: "I saw the game that she was trying to play. She liked Joey's money." Completely different!) Then Teresa recounts the comment that a drunken Melissa allegedly made to her, along the lines of, "I'm not stupid like my sisters. Of course when I saw his house I was going to jump on him." "Teresa, you look like the devil right now," Melissa says. "You're the devil. You're wearing red. It matches you. You like that, bitch? We're at a good place right now. Why are you going back there?"
We move on to the bankruptcy: Andy asks her how she could lavish so many Christmas gifts on her kids when she's supposed to be going through bankruptcy. "Hon, a Mercedes truck is $200. Gia was asking me for an iPhone. I'm like, 'You're not getting that.' She got an iPod touch." Melissa points out that Gia now has an iPhone. Yeah, well, she didn't get it forChristmas, Teresa says. "Ah, " Melissa says.
Andy asks Teresa if she asked her brother to help her out financially, but Teresa says she didn't need his help. "It sounds like you needed someone's help," Andy prods. "Joe got help from his dad and stuff, so," Teresa says. Caroline smiles knowingly. Andy then recounts the latest twist in the bankruptcy proceedings: Joe has withdrawn his request for debt discharge, and Teresa will do the same, and they have promised to pay off their debts. He gets down to brass tacks: "Your withdrawing yourselves from bankruptcy actually saved you both from going to jail, yes?"
Teresa: "No."
Andy: "No?"
Teresa: "No."
Andy: "If you had kept going with that, and you were found guilty of bankruptcy fraud, you wouldn't have gone to jail?"
Teresa: "No."
Andy: "No. Okay."
Teresa: "No. Where'd you hear that?"
Andy says that bankruptcy fraud is a federal offense, and isn't that what they were charging her with? Not at all, Teresa says. Andy moves on: How long do you have to pay it back? "I don't know exactly," Teresa says. Andy, earnestly: "You should look into that." More cat-ate-the-canary smiles from Caroline. "We're not afraid of work," Teresa says, "and it will get paid." Then Teresa steps into it with Melissa by saying that Joe Giudice's house-flipping is what inspired Joe Gorga and even Rich Wakile to do it, and that Joe Giudice is very generous with tips and hook-ups. Kathy points out that she and Rich bought their first investment property during their first year of marriage, well before Joe Giudice came on the scene. Some back-and-forth about who should zip it. Melissa: "Basically anything that anyone has ever done good in their life has come from Joe and Teresa."
Finally, Andy brings up Joe Giudice's arrest for fraudulently obtaining a drivers license (he now faces between 18 months and 10 years in prison). Teresa says she's not really worried "because I know he didn't do anything.") Sigh. Then Andy brings up the civil lawsuit in which Joe Giudice's former business partner claimed Joe forged his signature so he could get out of paying the $260,000 or so he owed him. Teresa says the debt has since been paid, but can't discuss it further because of legal issues. Andy turns to Caroline, saying she looks puzzled. Caroline allows that it's not her business really, but she says it does raise questions about how the Giudices conduct their business. "Who really cares what Caroline thinks," Teresa says. "I'm confused by a lot of it," Caroline says. Teresa: "I'm confused by the Brownstone." Yes, we can see how a successful money-making venture might confuse her.
"Relax," Caroline tells her -- she's not going to pick apart Teresa's financials on national television. Teresa: "I am relaxed. I'm calm and cool like a whistle." Doesn't sound like it, Caroline says. Teresa says she just doesn't want to hear what Caroline has to say. Caroline: "So plug your ears." Andy confirms to Teresa that Caroline says she's not getting involved. "That's what she should say," Teresa says. "Why don't you shut up and listen," Caroline says. "Why don't you shut up?" Teresa snipes. "I feel like I'm getting dumber as the minutes go on," Caroline says. (Join the club, Caroline.) "I am in a whirlwind of stupid. I don't understand what she's doing. It doesn't make sense to me. Nothing make sense ... So ask the questions. We're going to sit back and we're all going to plug our ears, and la la la, everybody la la la, and asks the question."
Teresa: "I think you should take your own advice."
Caroline: "I know I should. I should take my own advice, and my own advice two years ago was to get you out of my life, and I'm finally taking it."
Next week: We learn of a possible rift between Caroline and her sister Dina.
. Teresa is not the same ditzy loveable chick she was at the beginning of season one, and on top of being feeble-minded, immature, and bull-headed, she has a tongue made of razors, instigates trouble, is manipulative and she brings too much heat (and not the good heat, the kind that could land people in jail). I'm with missfee in that I'm happy to see she's devoted to her husband and kids, and it's admirable how she's pulling herself up in the face of all of the money woes...but if you look at her overall picture (which includes her character and person), it does not bear fruit....and I would run from that like the plague if I was Caroline (or anybody else). Shooot, don't bring your toxic mess into my space 
Unless y'all going to start throwing fists or underwhelming appetizers (cuz Dana don't have much of nothing else in that empty mansion) then otherwise y'all wasting time and hot breath. For Brandi to sit up there and start crying was a bitch move for sympathy to me. Sympathy she expected but STILL didn't get 
.