alphastreet said:

Oh I'm aware of the whole compromise thing, but just learned for myself I'm too stubborn to change myself for anyone who comes my way, and some people can control you for having your own life. And guess what, sometimes you compromise very well and are balanced, but to them, they don't want 50-50 or 60-40 or whatever, some guys want 95-5 and so much attention, and that's not cool if they crucify you for having a life like family and friends and work. It's not sexy when you have no room to breathe.

And yeah, I made up my mind I don't want marriage and especially not kids, though I wonder what growing up lonely will be like later on. I can always room with someone cool

[Edited 10/6/11 7:18am]

TOTALLY agree with you! But from the tone of this thread not many of these strong women want an equal 50-50 either...

And there is nothing at all wrong with not wanting to be married!

It's cause we are fed up of being disrespected or in my case, weaknesses being used to get my attention so I don't tell him off like the others, and he turned out to be the worst and the most disgusting. And I don't mean cause of intimacy only, but cause of not respecting boundaries or space or knowing the appropriate times for it and all the contradictions and creepy behaviour, and as someone said, acting like a teen in their 30's even though I was not amused with it and made that clear and my expectations clear...although I admit I got high off us being alike though it was all exagerrated to keep me close. I also made it clear I don't rush things, I have seen enough who fall apart from doing that and have had a very very chaotic life, so I like things to go slow and he was not respecting that and trying to guilt trip me for ages, and that wasn't right

[Edited 10/6/11 7:35am]

tinaz said:

So as im reading thru these posts here is the impression I am getting..

I am a STRONG woman, fuck you... I want things MY way, FUCK you... There is no compromise on ANYTHING, FUCK YOU...

To be honest, no man is going to like anyone with that attitude ladies... Even tho a guy may like some independence in their women, that attitude is a total turn off, I dont blame them for running... NOONE likes to be controlled and my impression of this thread is if its not your way, its NOway...

You may sit there and say, i dont need to put up with a man wanting me to be a homemaker, but yet, here you are complaining that you are not homemakers... Even though this is 2011 a man is still a man and men like to be the caretakers, and "most" women like to take care... I have no problem at ALL with women having careers, but this fuck all attitude just isnt gonna land you a husband... There always has to be one dominate person in a relationship, thats just how it is, so maybe instead of looking for manly men you should be looking for some guy who isnt as strong as you, a sensitive type...

tinaz, I am not seeing what you are seeing.

I am just seeing people complaining about lack of any respect including self respect in these men.

I don't see much "my way" going on.

No one mentioned not wanting to cook or clean or whatever.

Now if you both spend too much time at jobs and make $$$ for it go out to eat and get a cleaning lady. No problem there.

However, if she is going to work and he is not then the only one paying the restaurant tab and cleaning service bill is her. If he is not working than why the hell can he not cook, clean or whatever?

Really I just see woman complaining about nintendo-playing-slackers who whine a LOT and have no desire to ever be what the late Bernie Mac called "a grown ass man".

Hey if I ever find a nintendo playing slacker, it better be when I feel like being one too with him

I agree with you though dead. I'm not in a rush to find anyone, but every time someone tries to pursue me or if I find them attractive, they just start to objectify and think they have a right to suddenly ask me over the night we start talking or keep making sex jokes. Flirting very lightly is NOT a green light for turning me into a potential sex toy. And then I have to back away cause they have already lost points with me. But mostly I'm just friendly and casual and they turn it into something else.

I prefer guys as friends and used to consider myself a bit of a tomboy for a few years, but then I would find out later that they liked me and I had no clue.

Deadflow3r said:

missfee said:

In my experience, I keep finding that men love to date psycho type women. You know the needy, attention whore grabbing, disrespectful, dependent and childish type. For the life of me, I don't get it, other than the fact they could be great in bed....but then again you can find any respectful, kind and courteous woman that is good in bed also. So no I still don't get it. I swear, the last few men I dated, the previous women they dated they claim were "crazy" and they got tired of their childishness, yet they dated these women for LONG periods of time. So if they were so childish, then why did they entertain these women for so long? Then when they come upon an independent woman like me, either they aren't interested (in a good woman) or they try to play games to see if I'll fall for it and when I don't and call them out on their shit, they act like "oh you're too serious". Please Since when did a grown ass mature woman become too much for men to handle?

[Edited 10/6/11 6:20am]

Now I see something. They don't want grown ass women because they don't want to be grown ass men! If you look at men before the whole rock and roll 60's they sort of wanted to grow up and be adults. Adolescents was not the ultimate goal. They wanted to be MEN and not boys.

After the late 60's it became cool for a 30 year old man to act like a 19 year old. That age got pushed up to 40 and beyond. It is now the goal to never grow up and live in some sort of extended adolescence. If it becomes clear that you have indeed grown up and left this teenage dream land then you threaten their stay there. You are "serious" and they are still joking around wth their life. By why do so many men want to treat life as just one long stupid joke?

I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine.

alphastreet said:

It's cause we are fed up of being disrespected or in my case, weaknesses being used to get my attention so I don't tell him off like the others, and he turned out to be the worst and the most disgusting. And I don't mean cause of intimacy only, but cause of not respecting boundaries or space or knowing the appropriate times for it and all the contradictions and creepy behaviour, and as someone said, acting like a teen in their 30's even though I was not amused with it and made that clear and my expectations clear...although I admit I got high off us being alike though it was all exagerrated to keep me close. I also made it clear I don't rush things, I have seen enough who fall apart from doing that and have had a very very chaotic life, so I like things to go slow and he was not respecting that and trying to guilt trip me for ages, and that wasn't right

[Edited 10/6/11 7:35am]

Deadflow3r said:

tinaz said:

So as im reading thru these posts here is the impression I am getting..

I am a STRONG woman, fuck you... I want things MY way, FUCK you... There is no compromise on ANYTHING, FUCK YOU...

To be honest, no man is going to like anyone with that attitude ladies... Even tho a guy may like some independence in their women, that attitude is a total turn off, I dont blame them for running... NOONE likes to be controlled and my impression of this thread is if its not your way, its NOway...

You may sit there and say, i dont need to put up with a man wanting me to be a homemaker, but yet, here you are complaining that you are not homemakers... Even though this is 2011 a man is still a man and men like to be the caretakers, and "most" women like to take care... I have no problem at ALL with women having careers, but this fuck all attitude just isnt gonna land you a husband... There always has to be one dominate person in a relationship, thats just how it is, so maybe instead of looking for manly men you should be looking for some guy who isnt as strong as you, a sensitive type...

tinaz, I am not seeing what you are seeing.

I am just seeing people complaining about lack of any respect including self respect in these men.

I don't see much "my way" going on.

No one mentioned not wanting to cook or clean or whatever.

Now if you both spend too much time at jobs and make $$$ for it go out to eat and get a cleaning lady. No problem there.

However, if she is going to work and he is not then the only one paying the restaurant tab and cleaning service bill is her. If he is not working than why the hell can he not cook, clean or whatever?

Really I just see woman complaining about nintendo-playing-slackers who whine a LOT and have no desire to ever be what the late Bernie Mac called "a grown ass man".

Hit the nail on the head.

I can't hold back anymore, I feel like being Janet in the Son of a Gun video, but ten times worse

tinaz said:

So as im reading thru these posts here is the impression I am getting..

I am a STRONG woman, fuck you... I want things MY way, FUCK you... There is no compromise on ANYTHING, FUCK YOU...

To be honest, no man is going to like anyone with that attitude ladies... Even tho a guy may like some independence in their women, that attitude is a total turn off, I dont blame them for running... NOONE likes to be controlled and my impression of this thread is if its not your way, its NOway...

You may sit there and say, i dont need to put up with a man wanting me to be a homemaker, but yet, here you are complaining that you are not homemakers... Even though this is 2011 a man is still a man and men like to be the caretakers, and "most" women like to take care... I have no problem at ALL with women having careers, but this fuck all attitude just isnt gonna land you a husband... There always has to be one dominate person in a relationship, thats just how it is, so maybe instead of looking for manly men you should be looking for some guy who isnt as strong as you, a sensitive type...

I agree with what you’re saying, that bad attitude can be an issue, but that’s not the impression I’m getting from anyone in this thread. At least not the “I’m strong, so eff you” attitude. But yes, it’s certainly a pitfall of being a strong, intelligent woman – being seen as unwilling to compromise.

I do not at all agree, however, that there always has to be one dominant person in a relationship. Certainly there can be, but relationships are partnerships. I expect to be on equal footing with anyone I’m in a relationship with. My bf and I both have different strengths and allow the other to take charge from time to time but that doesn’t mean either of us is the dominant one. And no one would ever accuse him of being anything other than strong, intelligent and masculine. It doesn’t take a weak man to love a strong woman.

in the end, it doesn't matter what we think. you're the one who has to be comfortable with whatever life you create for yourself.

There is a quote I love that is attributed to Roy Craft that says what I think should be present if a 'committment" is a going to happen.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am wne I am with you.

I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.

I love you for the part of me that you bring out.

At the end of the day there is a part of me that wishes to inspire. When I am simply the person who calls 911 should you fall, or signs for your packages or covers the part of the rent that you don't have I don't feel the need to go on with that relationship. I have an endless romantic streak that won't give up and I know that I will be happier alone than I will ever be settling for less than another hopeless romantic.

I didn't really read your responses after the first page, but if I take your question at face value I have to say that its not "bad" to be afraid of commitment/long-term relations.

Its wise to take it very seriously and to make sure you're with the right person, that you're in it for the right reasons and that once you committ you're willing to do all the tough and uncomfortable things that's involved with long-term relationships (compromising, occasionally doing things you might not want to do, taking patience to a new level, learning how to really listen and also how to really express oneself in a way that doesn't place blame on everyone but ourselves etc etc).

That said, when you feel uncomfortable with the prospect of the long-term but you really like someone, dont take that feeling and that fear and let it run you. My personal rule is to never make decisions based on fear but on thinking clearly about what I want (not what I'm afraid of). That means though facing your fears and sometimes challenging yourself, and not just for the sake of the relationship, but to grow as a person.

tinaz said:

So as im reading thru these posts here is the impression I am getting..

I am a STRONG woman, fuck you... I want things MY way, FUCK you... There is no compromise on ANYTHING, FUCK YOU...

To be honest, no man is going to like anyone with that attitude ladies... Even tho a guy may like some independence in their women, that attitude is a total turn off, I dont blame them for running... NOONE likes to be controlled and my impression of this thread is if its not your way, its NOway...

You may sit there and say, i dont need to put up with a man wanting me to be a homemaker, but yet, here you are complaining that you are not homemakers... Even though this is 2011 a man is still a man and men like to be the caretakers, and "most" women like to take care... I have no problem at ALL with women having careers, but this fuck all attitude just isnt gonna land you a husband... There always has to be one dominate person in a relationship, thats just how it is, so maybe instead of looking for manly men you should be looking for some guy who isnt as strong as you, a sensitive type...

What about the guys who refuse to look for work? Who want to try to have sex with you after going half on a cup of coffee? Where is there sense of respecting the fact that a woman might actually want to get to know a guy before she sleeps with him and takes the risk of all risks (pregnancy). I never wear a sign on my forehead that says "I'm better than you" but if a guy asks me if I went to college do I say no? If he asks me if I give it up on the first date should I say yes?

yeah, we gotta make MEN feel like MEN when we are sure that they actually ARE MEN

Deadflow3r said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Hey sweety, I think I'm still young enough to have some mid-life crisis dude interested in me but the problem isn't my age, it's my mentality. I've been told even in my late teens and early 20s that I seemed like the type of girl who didn't take stuff off a guy. Doesn't mean that I have a chip on my shoulder but I just don't like wasting time. So, with that said, I've tried/attempted to get to know guys who were sometimes 20 years older than me and they were so stupid! LOL! A lot of them seemed to have the weakest game and they get bent out of shape that I didn't seem to be fawning all over them. Am I going to hide the fact that I'm educated? Nope...Will I hide the fact that I've been to other countries traveling solo? Hell Nope! I don't brag about it but if the dude asks me what have I done over the past few years, I'm gonna tell him. If that's all it takes to make him run and hide so be it because that tells me he woulda just crumbled if he would have ever seen me really angry or ready to handle up on my business when/if he should doublecross me, LOL!

First let me say DON'T CALL ME SWEETY. I can not take being called that by anyone. I find it a condescending term and have written people off who had a habit of using it. Bitch, Motherfucker, asshole, are all better than being called sweety. Sweety is just so passive aggressive in my book.

Now having said that I can move on.

So you feel that instead of being inspired by your adventures he is actually intimidated by you?

Again, maybe Mr. Older Man was looking for Young and NotSoSmart and because you are fairly Young he took interest in you but unfortunately when it became obvious you were Smart he got a limp biscuit about the whole thing?

I just don't get why men don't want a woman who pushes them to be the best they can be. I am not saying change their very nature because we all have a core self. I don't want to change a man into a new person with different goals and dreams. However I am naive enough still to feel that 2 people together, if it is meant to be, are greater than each individually added up? That we should inspire each other to aim higher?

Sort of like when you get a crush on someone you start looking a tad better. I am not talking about changing your personal style to become "his type" but just stepping up your game a bit. There are men and women who, by just being around them, make you walk taller, be stronger and work harder. I imagine Michelle Obama to be such a person. I don't think that I could be around her and just slump around in my PJ style clothes.

So why run from that?

Did he think that you were going to make him travel when he really wasn't into it? Just because you travel doesn't mean (I hope) that you insist everyone else does it. I think it shows that you set goals for yourself and you achieve those goals. That you live up to your own expectations and dreams and to me being around you would inspire me to love up to mine. Mine do not include travel but it can still inpire me to make concrete plans to achieve my goals.

Wow, chill with that sweety rant okay, LOL. Good grief, don't act like I already knew you had an allergic reaction to that word. I hope nobody ever says to you, "Sweety, I'd love to give you a million dollars"....but now that I've got that off my chest I continue, LOL....

I think the guy was self-centered and wanted to try to make me think he was so "great" but he also seemed to talk out of both sides of his mouth about many different things. For example, he'd one minute talk about how he was still devastated from his divorce, then later said he was relieved because he wasn't in love the entire 20 years of the marriage. And um, why did dude keep pressing me for my opinions about gay marriage?

The one serious relationship that I referred to in my question was a relationship that started while I was in college and when I started to question why dude suddenly dropped out of school for no reason I started seeing a pattern. He was lazy. He lived literally around the corner from a school and didn't go but he stayed with his parents and played video games and loved being Mr. Nightclub Guy and was a poser. When I first met him, he had been going to school at night and working full time during the day but a year later, he fell all the way off and never got it back. People who still see him around tell me all the time how fat and depressed looking he still looks...this guy even hangs out with my mom and he helped her move recently, WTF?

My roommate is a gay male and recently we talked about his nephew who still lives with his sister and has never been on his own in any way and the man is now reaching 30!

Part of this is parenting and that has been mentioned on this thread before. It occurred in my day but I see more and more of it with each decade. Parents who coddle too much. There are youngster's that are eager to get out of the nest, but there are also those who will let you coddle them forever if you are willing.

We talked about his (my roommate's ) childhood and how he did everything with his Dad. He was taught to drive tractors and do all sorts of things at a very young age. By the time my roommate was 18 he knew what he could do and had a great work ethic.

Has anyone seen the movie "Princess and the Frog"? Well Tiana is a work horse who dreams of her own restaurant but Prince Naveen is spoilt. At one point he is cutting mushrooms for a recipe and it is clear he has no idea what to do. He explains that the palace staff did everything and when he was cut off from the money he had no idea how to do anything for himself.

This is where many men and women are. My roommate also does a program at a local school and one of the parents said to him "If Penny gets a "D" we ask her if that was the best she could do. If she says yes then we treat that "D" just like it was an "A". Whaaaaat?? This is a bad strategy with either men or women but I think it is devastating for men. They need to know they are capable, by doing it for them parents are giving them the message that they do not have what it takes to survive and even flourish on their own.

Dead---I think the example you gave of the grades of D being treated like an A is pretty much the embodiment of what's going on in society. Is it a wonder that "singers" like Rihanna and Drake are popular...they have minimal if not non-existent talent and are given all these accolades as if they found the cure for cancer......it's all about style and no substance these days I think.

SeventeenDayze said:

Dead---I think the example you gave of the grades of D being treated like an A is pretty much the embodiment of what's going on in society. Is it a wonder that "singers" like Rihanna and Drake are popular...they have minimal if not non-existent talent and are given all these accolades as if they found the cure for cancer......it's all about style and no substance these days I think.

Sadly I think it started off as a good thing; a desire to make everyone feel special "because you're you". But then somehow it went wacko from there. The bar kept getting lower and lower to the point that I am not sure that there is a bar anymore. I remember they were doing this thing where kids would play sports but not keep score. That way everyone felt like winners. Like I said it was for a good reason but it wasn't and isn't being thought all the way through.

I don't watch the Kardashians but one of the things I liked in an article about them that I read in a woman's magazine was that their parents basically told them all "your not living off of us past 18; you will need to get a job". Now their father gave them loans and such that certainly most parents can't give their children but he made it clear he wanted the money back at a certain time and they had to come up with a decent business plan before he gave it to them.

If they came up with a decent plan he lent them the money. I think that is how it went. Anyway he showed his faith in them as business people. When you refuse to do for people what they can do for themselves you build self confidence and the right type of pride and self respect IMO.

missfee said:

HotGritz said:

If you're weird then I'm weird and I don't want to be weird. We are normal. All those other ready to wed chicks are the weird ones. Truthfully, there aren't many quality men to pick from in terms of marriage or even procreating. What's left are the dudes you hit and quit. At least that's what I heard.

You right about those "ready to wed" chicks. They get real brand new when a wedding is involved.

Now, word out on the street is there aren't any quality men to pick from...but I refuse to believe that. I believe there are quality men out there, it's just very few. Like finding a needle in a haystack.

My boo You always get it! I need to quit being pessimistic when it comes to men....even tho its so much fun.

davetherave6767 said:

HotGritz said:

If you're weird then I'm weird and I don't want to be weird. We are normal. All those other ready to wed chicks are the weird ones. Truthfully, there aren't many quality men to pick from in terms of marriage or even procreating. What's left are the dudes you hit and quit. At least that's what I heard.

Im single and ready 2 quit and hit.........Hit me

I knew you'd offer up the um....opportunity.

Deadflow3r said:

missfee said:

In my experience, I keep finding that men love to date psycho type women. You know the needy, attention whore grabbing, disrespectful, dependent and childish type. For the life of me, I don't get it, other than the fact they could be great in bed....but then again you can find any respectful, kind and courteous woman that is good in bed also. So no I still don't get it. I swear, the last few men I dated, the previous women they dated they claim were "crazy" and they got tired of their childishness, yet they dated these women for LONG periods of time. So if they were so childish, then why did they entertain these women for so long? Then when they come upon an independent woman like me, either they aren't interested (in a good woman) or they try to play games to see if I'll fall for it and when I don't and call them out on their shit, they act like "oh you're too serious". Please Since when did a grown ass mature woman become too much for men to handle?

[Edited 10/6/11 6:20am]

Now I see something. They don't want grown ass women because they don't want to be grown ass men! If you look at men before the whole rock and roll 60's they sort of wanted to grow up and be adults. Adolescents was not the ultimate goal. They wanted to be MEN and not boys.

After the late 60's it became cool for a 30 year old man to act like a 19 year old. That age got pushed up to 40 and beyond. It is now the goal to never grow up and live in some sort of extended adolescence. If it becomes clear that you have indeed grown up and left this teenage dream land then you threaten their stay there. You are "serious" and they are still joking around wth their life. By why do so many men want to treat life as just one long stupid joke?

This is an interesting analysis. I've never considered that men have "regressed". I guess the same could be said of women but where does that leave us. You can act young but you can't really be young. Right?

HotGritz said:

Deadflow3r said:

Now I see something. They don't want grown ass women because they don't want to be grown ass men! If you look at men before the whole rock and roll 60's they sort of wanted to grow up and be adults. Adolescents was not the ultimate goal. They wanted to be MEN and not boys.

After the late 60's it became cool for a 30 year old man to act like a 19 year old. That age got pushed up to 40 and beyond. It is now the goal to never grow up and live in some sort of extended adolescence. If it becomes clear that you have indeed grown up and left this teenage dream land then you threaten their stay there. You are "serious" and they are still joking around wth their life. By why do so many men want to treat life as just one long stupid joke?

This is an interesting analysis. I've never considered that men have "regressed". I guess the same could be said of women but where does that leave us. You can act young but you can't really be young. Right?

I was watching a TV show a long time ago where a bunch of guys were sitting around like, "Yeah, didn't you hear? Men are the new women...."

I just don't understand women who financially support a guy who from the start is up to no good. It's one thing if a guy does a 180 on you and you find out later but when you know from the start he's a loser, then what?

SeventeenDayze said:

HotGritz said:

This is an interesting analysis. I've never considered that men have "regressed". I guess the same could be said of women but where does that leave us. You can act young but you can't really be young. Right?

I was watching a TV show a long time ago where a bunch of guys were sitting around like, "Yeah, didn't you hear? Men are the new women...."

I just don't understand women who financially support a guy who from the start is up to no good. It's one thing if a guy does a 180 on you and you find out later but when you know from the start he's a loser, then what?

Then its the woman's fault, point blank. Women were given intuitions and instincts for a reason. But its up to us to use them and listen when they start throwing red flags on the plays and smacking us upside the head with that "hold up wait a fucking minute" feeling about whoever we are dating in particular at the time. Like you said, its one thing when you start out thinking that a guy is one way then you find out later he wasn't all that cracked up or appeared to be...but its another when you know from the start if a man is trifling and you continue to date him or have a relationship with him. At that point, the man isn't at fault at all.

missfee said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I was watching a TV show a long time ago where a bunch of guys were sitting around like, "Yeah, didn't you hear? Men are the new women...."

I just don't understand women who financially support a guy who from the start is up to no good. It's one thing if a guy does a 180 on you and you find out later but when you know from the start he's a loser, then what?

Then its the woman's fault, point blank. Women were given intuitions and instincts for a reason. But its up to us to use them and listen when they start throwing red flags on the plays and smacking us upside the head with that "hold up wait a fucking minute" feeling about whoever we are dating in particular at the time. Like you said, its one thing when you start out thinking that a guy is one way then you find out later he wasn't all that cracked up or appeared to be...but its another when you know from the start if a man is trifling and you continue to date him or have a relationship with him. At that point, the man isn't at fault at all.

When I see a handsome face and a big bulge....followed by a soothing voice, my instincts and intution seem to disappear. By the time they come back the pussy has already been hijacked. I need Jesus!

HotGritz said:

missfee said:

Then its the woman's fault, point blank. Women were given intuitions and instincts for a reason. But its up to us to use them and listen when they start throwing red flags on the plays and smacking us upside the head with that "hold up wait a fucking minute" feeling about whoever we are dating in particular at the time. Like you said, its one thing when you start out thinking that a guy is one way then you find out later he wasn't all that cracked up or appeared to be...but its another when you know from the start if a man is trifling and you continue to date him or have a relationship with him. At that point, the man isn't at fault at all.

When I see a handsome face and a big bulge....followed by a soothing voice, my instincts and intution seem to disappear. By the time they come back the pussy has already been hijacked. I need Jesus!

Sounds like you need will power my sister!!!!

missfee said:

HotGritz said:

When I see a handsome face and a big bulge....followed by a soothing voice, my instincts and intution seem to disappear. By the time they come back the pussy has already been hijacked. I need Jesus!

Sounds like you need will power my sister!!!!

Now I need to reiterate my point about sex hormones that effect the brain the same way cocaine does. You need to keep your panties on if you want to keep your wits about you. Although HotGritz you seem to be good at dumping men when you have had enough of the nonsense. Not all women can do that.

I love the word trifling. That is really the perfect word for this type who also have a seductive vulnerability as well. I also see a good sense of humor in many of them. Many lack the arrogance of the generation(s) before them. So they are not a complete waste of time it seems in the beginning. You just have this feeling that maybe you can inspire them to reach a little higher. It takes a while to accept that they are waiting for the fruit of life to fall on the ground and then they will just eat around the bruised parts - trifling.

Deadflow3r said:

missfee said:

Sounds like you need will power my sister!!!!

Now I need to reiterate my point about sex hormones that effect the brain the same way cocaine does. You need to keep your panties on if you want to keep your wits about you. Although HotGritz you seem to be good at dumping men when you have had enough of the nonsense. Not all women can do that.

I love the word trifling. That is really the perfect word for this type who also have a seductive vulnerability as well. I also see a good sense of humor in many of them. Many lack the arrogance of the generation(s) before them. So they are not a complete waste of time it seems in the beginning. You just have this feeling that maybe you can inspire them to reach a little higher. It takes a while to accept that they are waiting for the fruit of life to fall on the ground and then they will just eat around the bruised parts - trifling.

Maybe I'm weird but that "attachment" doesn't happen to me and I've only really been in love like once in my life I think. I think the other guys were basically, I dunno, convenient...but I never fell in love, expected more or even wanted them to stick around for very long. So, maybe I've been lucky that I don't get emotionally attached like that, perhaps that's why it's easy for me to move on from guys who are clearly losers.

I just take a guy for who he is from Day one and don't expect change...if he's a moron from the start, he is NOT going to get better. Why is that so hard for women to understand?

SeventeenDayze said:

Deadflow3r said:

Now I need to reiterate my point about sex hormones that effect the brain the same way cocaine does. You need to keep your panties on if you want to keep your wits about you. Although HotGritz you seem to be good at dumping men when you have had enough of the nonsense. Not all women can do that.

I love the word trifling. That is really the perfect word for this type who also have a seductive vulnerability as well. I also see a good sense of humor in many of them. Many lack the arrogance of the generation(s) before them. So they are not a complete waste of time it seems in the beginning. You just have this feeling that maybe you can inspire them to reach a little higher. It takes a while to accept that they are waiting for the fruit of life to fall on the ground and then they will just eat around the bruised parts - trifling.

Maybe I'm weird but that "attachment" doesn't happen to me and I've only really been in love like once in my life I think. I think the other guys were basically, I dunno, convenient...but I never fell in love, expected more or even wanted them to stick around for very long. So, maybe I've been lucky that I don't get emotionally attached like that, perhaps that's why it's easy for me to move on from guys who are clearly losers.

I just take a guy for who he is from Day one and don't expect change...if he's a moron from the start, he is NOT going to get better. Why is that so hard for women to understand?

You have a lot of women who fall into the trap of thinking they NEED a man. Perhaps its cultural or a result of how our Society still views women as baby makers and sex objects but unfortunately, there are still a lot of women trying to snag a man and change him into who and what they think will look good to everyone else.

I think men do this too but not as much as women. Many men pretty much take the chick for who she is and upgrade when they think they've found someone better. The rest cling to what they've got because they can't handle being alone.

HotGritz said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Maybe I'm weird but that "attachment" doesn't happen to me and I've only really been in love like once in my life I think. I think the other guys were basically, I dunno, convenient...but I never fell in love, expected more or even wanted them to stick around for very long. So, maybe I've been lucky that I don't get emotionally attached like that, perhaps that's why it's easy for me to move on from guys who are clearly losers.

I just take a guy for who he is from Day one and don't expect change...if he's a moron from the start, he is NOT going to get better. Why is that so hard for women to understand?

You have a lot of women who fall into the trap of thinking they NEED a man. Perhaps its cultural or a result of how our Society still views women as baby makers and sex objects but unfortunately, there are still a lot of women trying to snag a man and change him into who and what they think will look good to everyone else.

I think men do this too but not as much as women. Many men pretty much take the chick for who she is and upgrade when they think they've found someone better. The rest cling to what they've got because they can't handle being alone.

Pretty much hit the nail on the head.

HotGritz said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Maybe I'm weird but that "attachment" doesn't happen to me and I've only really been in love like once in my life I think. I think the other guys were basically, I dunno, convenient...but I never fell in love, expected more or even wanted them to stick around for very long. So, maybe I've been lucky that I don't get emotionally attached like that, perhaps that's why it's easy for me to move on from guys who are clearly losers.

I just take a guy for who he is from Day one and don't expect change...if he's a moron from the start, he is NOT going to get better. Why is that so hard for women to understand?

You have a lot of women who fall into the trap of thinking they NEED a man. Perhaps its cultural or a result of how our Society still views women as baby makers and sex objects but unfortunately, there are still a lot of women trying to snag a man and change him into who and what they think will look good to everyone else.

I think men do this too but not as much as women. Many men pretty much take the chick for who she is and upgrade when they think they've found someone better. The rest cling to what they've got because they can't handle being alone.

I followed the stereotype there. My weed -smoking- non- working- loveable- man came into my life when I was 38 and feared that I would never have a baby. He was 28 and he wanted a baby too. I hate admitting how pathetic I was. But part of me knew he was all wrong but I felt I could not wait egg-wise much longer for Mr. Right. I got pregnant at 39 and had my daughter at 40. I left him one month and 4 days after she was born.

He basically got free room and board while I was pregnant while I worked 2 jobs. The reason he got to stay was that I was afraid of being home alone at night, my family so far away, and something going very wrong. So, once the baby was out of my tummy, I headed back to the city I grew up in and hated.

Is there a moral to this story? I am not sure. I just got really desperate in the end. Had I not wanted a baby I think that man would have been gone after 2 months max.

Deadflow3r said:

HotGritz said:

You have a lot of women who fall into the trap of thinking they NEED a man. Perhaps its cultural or a result of how our Society still views women as baby makers and sex objects but unfortunately, there are still a lot of women trying to snag a man and change him into who and what they think will look good to everyone else.

I think men do this too but not as much as women. Many men pretty much take the chick for who she is and upgrade when they think they've found someone better. The rest cling to what they've got because they can't handle being alone.

I followed the stereotype there. My weed -smoking- non- working- loveable- man came into my life when I was 38 and feared that I would never have a baby. He was 28 and he wanted a baby too. I hate admitting how pathetic I was. But part of me knew he was all wrong but I felt I could not wait egg-wise much longer for Mr. Right. I got pregnant at 39 and had my daughter at 40. I left him one month and 4 days after she was born.

He basically got free room and board while I was pregnant while I worked 2 jobs. The reason he got to stay was that I was afraid of being home alone at night, my family so far away, and something going very wrong. So, once the baby was out of my tummy, I headed back to the city I grew up in and hated.

Is there a moral to this story? I am not sure. I just got really desperate in the end. Had I not wanted a baby I think that man would have been gone after 2 months max.

Hey don't feel bad and my earlier comments weren't aimed at women who were in your type of situation. At least you moved on with your life and didn't force the guy to have a family that he never really wanted in the first place....