Giselle said:

Name everything that goes through your head ....

Someone clearly pissed me off by being manipulative , just starting an irrelevant argument . I'm ready to do some damage ... I guess you can say I'm venting right now to prevent that from happening .

in the same type of betrayal of a good friend the last 6 weeks.after i walked up behind her in her coffee shop not realizing i was there she ripped me to shreds and humiliated me. i ran out crying. after that i made excuses not to help her organize 2 fundraisers that we have always organized -20 years. we both acted sickingly nice to each other in public. i hate her but my retaliation turned out to cause us to loose several thousands at a fundraiser that was for the humane society we fought so hard to start here. the money lost was earmarked for animal vet care this year. long story short vent,smile and NEVER hurt others to get revenge on someone for being a bitch. life is fucking short and your own actions can rear up and bite you on the ass

30peacessilver said:

Giselle said:

Name everything that goes through your head ....

Someone clearly pissed me off by being manipulative , just starting an irrelevant argument . I'm ready to do some damage ... I guess you can say I'm venting right now to prevent that from happening .

in the same type of betrayal of a good friend the last 6 weeks.after i walked up behind her in her coffee shop not realizing i was there she ripped me to shreds and humiliated me. i ran out crying. after that i made excuses not to help her organize 2 fundraisers that we have always organized -20 years. we both acted sickingly nice to each other in public. i hate her but my retaliation turned out to cause us to loose several thousands at a fundraiser that was for the humane society we fought so hard to start here. the money lost was earmarked for animal vet care this year. long story short vent,smile and NEVER hurt others to get revenge on someone for being a bitch. life is fucking short and your own actions can rear up and bite you on the ass

I love your sig!! Nice.

-

missfee said:

SCNDLS said:

Especially when it's people who don't bring anything positive to my life. But for me, it's not a slow process, it's pretty instantaneous from when I make the conscious decision that I'm done with their asses. I have ZERO problem eradicating someone from my life and mind, it's truly like they don't exist anymore. Yeah, I know it's a skill.

Pretty much of what goes through my brain as well. I find that my life is much better anyway after I've determined that the person no longer deserves to be in my life, or deserves my time, or energy and I've decided to cut them out of my life. Who has time to deal with insincere people who have an agenda and thrive on drama? I don't. They can kick rocks.

Shoot 'em the deuces or the finger and keep it moving.

[Edited 9/18/11 20:14pm]

IamFunkay7 said:

paintedlady said:

I had to cut people off who I thought were freinds in the past.

You will know when there is always a snide comment made at your expense when ever possible.

If they laugh about your little mishaps happily and always seem suspicious of any choices you make without their input.

This is when I begin to pull away, because I rather be alone than have a miserable person around me dragging me down.

Be careful of depressed friends that try to shit on you because they have a hard time seeing any positivity in their own lives. Mutual respect is key to any healthy relationship.

you said it the best,

I had a person who was my best friend, but she would intentionally do things to hurt me,

she was spiteful and would go hang withmy enemies, tell my friends things that would start crap amongst us, tell me things that she knew would hurt me because I already told her... so I backed off of her and although she may still have stolen my friends, I made some new ones worth keeping lol. I learned that I can't deal with people who are jealous or depressed, just because you want to enjoy your life. I get depressed but I isolate myself from my friends so I won't be a burden or anything. Bottom line, walking away saves the pain and anger, the constant anger that they know they caused, I'm free now, have been for about a year!

If the friend (when confronted) does not change his/her behavior immediately and apologise, they are better left alone.

I can not call someone a friend if they just can not find a way to be happy for me when I am blessed. I have learned to celebrate with others in their joy, I am happy for my friends because seeing them happy makes me happy... so when they are not happy for me, I pull away.

This happens when someone is in denial about their depression usually.

Giselle said:

Name everything that goes through your head ....

Someone clearly pissed me off by being manipulative , just starting an irrelevant argument . I'm ready to do some damage ... I guess you can say I'm venting right now to prevent that from happening .

picture that person nekkid and everytime they try to talk digusting fart sounds come outta their mouth. then laugh your a. off.

mostly, just walk away ( or at least try to) you'll be the better person for it.

for some reason some people like to go off on someone to make them feel better about some negative situation they just walked away from.

PDogz said:

Giselle said:

Name everything that goes through your head ....

I reflect on how sad & miserable their life must be, then keep it moving.

That's pretty much how I handle it too. Being manipulated is one of those things that piss me off the most. I definitely have to bite my tongue but thinking about how out of control that person's life must really be to feel they need to manipulate everything/everyone else makes me feel better about my life.

JuliePurplehead said:

PDogz said:

I reflect on how sad & miserable their life must be, then keep it moving.

That's pretty much how I handle it too. Being manipulated is one of those things that piss me off the most. I definitely have to bite my tongue but thinking about how out of control that person's life must really be to feel they need to manipulate everything/everyone else makes me feel better about my life.

Plus, remaining cool allows me to gain the upper hand. Because once it's all said and done, the manipulator realizes that I was on to them and yet treated them respectfully and with integrity. It also eventually becomes clear to them that I won't be wasting another moment of my time on them for the rest of my life. And THAT feels better than any act of violence, beratement, or display of emotion ever could. Moreover, it leaves my Karma in good standing.

Our conversation

(mind you ..she chooses to spell like this )

HER .... if yhuu not gonna txt me , no reason to have yhur number .

ME : You stopped calling me/texting me or haven't returned any of my phone calls . Therefore , it should be the other way around and that doesn't hurt my feelings , shit .

HER .... no yhuu had a fuking lil attitude yea ididnt txt Yhuu back cuz der was no reason to.. it wasn't meant to hurt your ->fellings..

ME :Ok so you do you ..no problem .

------------------------------------------------------

In other words she wanted me to kiss her ass , which wasn't about to happen .

In reality she's upset because I caught her in a lie & avoided my phonecall .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:22pm]

[Edited 9/18/11 22:25pm]

Giselle said:

Our conversation

(mind you ..she chooses to spell like this )

HER .... if yhuu not gonna txt me , no reason to have yhur number .

ME : You stopped calling me/texting me or haven't returned any of my phone calls . Therefore , it should be the other way around and that doesn't hurt my feelings , shit .

HER .... no yhuu had a fuking lil attitude yea ididnt txt Yhuu back cuz der was no reason to.. it wasn't meant to hurt your ->fellings..

ME :Ok so you do you ..no problem .

------------------------------------------------------

In other words she wanted me to kiss her ass , which wasn't about to happen .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:22pm]

dump her.

your phone rings too... if a real friend thinks there may be a problem, then a friend would reach out and communicate to fix things. this goes both ways.

If you find yourself unable to care enough to want to reach out to her to try to resolve things then maybe its an indicator that you may need to cut ties and stop wasting eachother's time.

Make a friend who you want to spend time, share with and heal with. You guys have to gel with personality... if you find yourself in a mood every time you corespond with her, then leave her alone.

Fantastic advice by a strong group of healthy people!!!
Thank you for saying out loud everything I've been dealing with for a few weeks now! Very timely advice! And so spot on and damn healthy to hear! Great to know there's other great people on the planet!

paintedlady said:

Giselle said:

Our conversation

(mind you ..she chooses to spell like this )

HER .... if yhuu not gonna txt me , no reason to have yhur number .

ME : You stopped calling me/texting me or haven't returned any of my phone calls . Therefore , it should be the other way around and that doesn't hurt my feelings , shit .

HER .... no yhuu had a fuking lil attitude yea ididnt txt Yhuu back cuz der was no reason to.. it wasn't meant to hurt your ->fellings..

ME :Ok so you do you ..no problem .

------------------------------------------------------

In other words she wanted me to kiss her ass , which wasn't about to happen .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:22pm]

dump her.

your phone rings too... if a real friend thinks there may be a problem, then a friend would reach out and communicate to fix things. this goes both ways.

If you find yourself unable to care enough to want to reach out to her to try to resolve things then maybe its an indicator that you may need to cut ties and stop wasting eachother's time.

Make a friend who you want to spend time, share with and heal with. You guys have to gel with personality... if you find yourself in a mood every time you corespond with her, then leave her alone.

Exactly right ! She's obviously ignorant . It's all from her stalling & lying over the stupidest things that I chose to confront her on .

Example : -Pretending a pregnancy & an abortion .

-Using men for money .

To me , that's fucking shady . But yeah ... this is exactly why I'm so upset . I just want to call her out in front of everyone that puts her on a high horse & make her look like the low-life she really is . She's so manipulating . Seriously , that's nothing to play with . I literally want to choke the shit out of her for fucking with my time & taking me for granted when all I did was try .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:47pm]

Giselle said:

paintedlady said:

dump her.

your phone rings too... if a real friend thinks there may be a problem, then a friend would reach out and communicate to fix things. this goes both ways.

If you find yourself unable to care enough to want to reach out to her to try to resolve things then maybe its an indicator that you may need to cut ties and stop wasting eachother's time.

Make a friend who you want to spend time, share with and heal with. You guys have to gel with personality... if you find yourself in a mood every time you corespond with her, then leave her alone.

Exactly right ! She's obviously ignorant . It's all from her stalling & lying over the stupidest things that I chose to confront her on .

Example : -Pretending a pregnancy & an abortion .

-Using men for money .

To me , that's fucking shady . But yeah ... this is exactly why I'm so upset . I just want to call her out in front of everyone that puts her on a high horse & make her look like the low-life she really is . She's so manipulating . Seriously , that's nothing to play with . I literally want to choke the shit out of her for fucking with my time & taking me for granted when all I did was try .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:47pm]

I myself should have learned sooner that we should pick our girlfriends just as carefully as we pick our lovers.

Same rules apply...

I have dumped "friends" for being constant liars, theives, and them cheap bitches who forget their wallets at a restaurant...or when its their turn to buy a round of drinks... especially if its their idea to go out with you in the first place ,

Girls who leave you at the club to get a fast lay, girls who fuck the men of their girlfriends.....

I have a long list.. that can go on and on. I have few friends. I can get along with just about anyone, but I trust VERY few people because many people are just out for themselves to use others.

I keep it moving swiftly when a woman has a hard time with mutual respect. Bossyness is now a new turn off also.

paintedlady said:

Giselle said:

Exactly right ! She's obviously ignorant . It's all from her stalling & lying over the stupidest things that I chose to confront her on .

Example : -Pretending a pregnancy & an abortion .

-Using men for money .

To me , that's fucking shady . But yeah ... this is exactly why I'm so upset . I just want to call her out in front of everyone that puts her on a high horse & make her look like the low-life she really is . She's so manipulating . Seriously , that's nothing to play with . I literally want to choke the shit out of her for fucking with my time & taking me for granted when all I did was try .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:47pm]

I myself should have learned sooner that we should pick our girlfriends just as carefully as we pick our lovers.

Same rules apply...

I have dumped "friends" for being constant liars, theives, and them cheap bitches who forget their wallets at a restaurant...or when its their turn to buy a round of drinks... especially if its their idea to go out with you in the first place ,

Girls who leave you at the club to get a fast lay, girls who fuck the men of their girlfriends.....

I have a long list.. that can go on and on. I have few friends. I can get along with just about anyone, but I trust VERY few people because many people are just out for themselves to use others.

I keep it moving swiftly when a woman has a hard time with mutual respect. Bossyness is now a new turn off also.

Totally agree . I just don't get it .

Giselle said:

paintedlady said:

I myself should have learned sooner that we should pick our girlfriends just as carefully as we pick our lovers.

Same rules apply...

I have dumped "friends" for being constant liars, theives, and them cheap bitches who forget their wallets at a restaurant...or when its their turn to buy a round of drinks... especially if its their idea to go out with you in the first place ,

Girls who leave you at the club to get a fast lay, girls who fuck the men of their girlfriends.....

I have a long list.. that can go on and on. I have few friends. I can get along with just about anyone, but I trust VERY few people because many people are just out for themselves to use others.

I keep it moving swiftly when a woman has a hard time with mutual respect. Bossyness is now a new turn off also.

Totally agree . I just don't get it .

I understnad..... finding girlfriends you vibe well with is just as hard if not harder than finding a boyfriend.

paintedlady said:

Giselle said:

Totally agree . I just don't get it .

I understnad..... finding girlfriends you vibe well with is just as hard if not harder than finding a boyfriend.

Its far more difficult finding girlfriends/homegirls . Guys are in all honesty easier to get along with .

paintedlady said:

Giselle said:

Exactly right ! She's obviously ignorant . It's all from her stalling & lying over the stupidest things that I chose to confront her on .

Example : -Pretending a pregnancy & an abortion .

-Using men for money .

To me , that's fucking shady . But yeah ... this is exactly why I'm so upset . I just want to call her out in front of everyone that puts her on a high horse & make her look like the low-life she really is . She's so manipulating . Seriously , that's nothing to play with . I literally want to choke the shit out of her for fucking with my time & taking me for granted when all I did was try .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:47pm]

I myself should have learned sooner that we should pick our girlfriends just as carefully as we pick our lovers.

Same rules apply...

I have dumped "friends" for being constant liars, theives, and them cheap bitches who forget their wallets at a restaurant...or when its their turn to buy a round of drinks... especially if its their idea to go out with you in the first place ,

Girls who leave you at the club to get a fast lay, girls who fuck the men of their girlfriends.....

I have a long list.. that can go on and on. I have few friends. I can get along with just about anyone, but I trust VERY few people because many people are just out for themselves to use others.

I keep it moving swiftly when a woman has a hard time with mutual respect. Bossyness is now a new turn off also.

if the example given is correct i would change my advice to -RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM THIS PERSON-

paintedlady said:

Giselle said:

Exactly right ! She's obviously ignorant . It's all from her stalling & lying over the stupidest things that I chose to confront her on .

Example : -Pretending a pregnancy & an abortion .

-Using men for money .

To me , that's fucking shady . But yeah ... this is exactly why I'm so upset . I just want to call her out in front of everyone that puts her on a high horse & make her look like the low-life she really is . She's so manipulating . Seriously , that's nothing to play with . I literally want to choke the shit out of her for fucking with my time & taking me for granted when all I did was try .

[Edited 9/18/11 22:47pm]

I myself should have learned sooner that we should pick our girlfriends just as carefully as we pick our lovers.

Same rules apply...

I have dumped "friends" for being constant liars, theives, and them cheap bitches who forget their wallets at a restaurant...or when its their turn to buy a round of drinks... especially if its their idea to go out with you in the first place ,

Girls who leave you at the club to get a fast lay, girls who fuck the men of their girlfriends.....

I have a long list.. that can go on and on. I have few friends. I can get along with just about anyone, but I trust VERY few people because many people are just out for themselves to use others.

I keep it moving swiftly when a woman has a hard time with mutual respect. Bossyness is now a new turn off also.

I have never had girlfriends or men for that matter who do this type of thing or have persistent drama in their lives. A trifling mofo will sho they ass pretty early on after you meet them. Why would you continue to try to be friends with someone who does this type of shit or disrespects you usually from jump?

I'ma one and done type of gal. You only get ONE chance to show ya ass and then I'm done witcha.

SCNDLS said:

paintedlady said:

I myself should have learned sooner that we should pick our girlfriends just as carefully as we pick our lovers.

Same rules apply...

I have dumped "friends" for being constant liars, theives, and them cheap bitches who forget their wallets at a restaurant...or when its their turn to buy a round of drinks... especially if its their idea to go out with you in the first place ,

Girls who leave you at the club to get a fast lay, girls who fuck the men of their girlfriends.....

I have a long list.. that can go on and on. I have few friends. I can get along with just about anyone, but I trust VERY few people because many people are just out for themselves to use others.

I keep it moving swiftly when a woman has a hard time with mutual respect. Bossyness is now a new turn off also.

I have never had girlfriends or men for that matter who do this type of thing or have persistent drama in their lives. A trifling mofo will sho they ass pretty early on after you meet them. Why would you continue to try to be friends with someone who does this type of shit or disrespects you usually from jump?

I'ma one and done type of gal. You only get ONE chance to show ya ass and then I'm done witcha.

Most don't try this sorta stuff right off the bat... once something outrageous does happen I'm out. When I meet them they are usually REALLY nice. They hide their crazy. I would never purposely hang out with some rude bitch. I am polite but not stupid. People do confuse my kindness for a weakness though, they are shocked when I stand up and tell them to take their mess elsewhere.

Women up here though tend to be aggressive and pushy... I am not like that. I am more mellow and mild tempered.

paintedlady said:

SCNDLS said:

I have never had girlfriends or men for that matter who do this type of thing or have persistent drama in their lives. A trifling mofo will sho they ass pretty early on after you meet them. Why would you continue to try to be friends with someone who does this type of shit or disrespects you usually from jump?

I'ma one and done type of gal. You only get ONE chance to show ya ass and then I'm done witcha.

Most don't try this sorta stuff right off the bat... once something outrageous does happen I'm out. When I meet them they are usually REALLY nice. They hide their crazy. I would never purposely hang out with some rude bitch. I am polite but not stupid. People do confuse my kindness for a weakness though, they are shocked when I stand up and tell them to take their mess elsewhere.

Women up here though tend to be aggressive and pushy... I am not like that. I am more mellow and mild tempered.

Oh, okay. I was finnta say!

But my experience is that folks show you the crazy pretty damn soon if you talk to 'em long enough.

For instance, I went to a party recently by myself where I didn't know anyone. I sat next to this lady who was cooler than a fan and we vibed instantly. We will definitely hang out. She was mature, funny, and cute. Really down to earth.

On the other hand, an acquaintance introduced me to this other chick who seemed really nice. Real cute, banging body, Beyonce weave, dressed to the 9s. We get into a conversation and Girl B mentions that she just bought a BMW. The acquaintance tells her that I have a bimmer too. Girl B asks, "How much are oil changes?" I say "Oh, around $75." Homegirl freaks the fuck out. Then asks, "How much to fill up?" I'm already looking at this broad crazy cuz how you gon' buy a car and not look into this type of shit??? Anyway, I say "Ummm, you have to use 91-93 octane so at least $60 a week depending on how much you drive."

This chick starts tripping in the party REALLY loudly about how she can't afford this car and that she's in a loaner from the dealer cuz they were working on her car and since the car had a full tank of gas she's gonna drive the car until it gets on E to delay having to put gas in her new car. Then she tells me the car has almost 60k miles and she didn't buy an extended warranty. Heffa is visibly upset about the expense of the car. Girl you shoulda seen me face. So I tell her, "Girl, ain't shit you can do about it now. You've signed on the dotted line, it's a great car, so you better hope it doesn't break down and enjoy the ride."

Later on, she's standing behind me talking to a guy who annoyed everyone at the party as soon as he walked in. He was loud, obnoxious, had to be the center of everyone's attention and couldn't stand still to save his life. I immediately decided, he was clearly on something. The cool Girl A is an opthalmologist and he cornered her in conversation. When she sat down she confirms, "I couldn't see what color his eyes were cuz his damn pupils were fully dilated." Yep, he on some shit.

A few minutes later, crazy Girl B and obnoxious dude are standing behind my chair talking. I overhear the girl say, "I'm really needy and I need a man to take care of me." She spends the rest of the party hugged up with this obvious loser.

At the end of the night, everyone's exchanging contact info. Girl A and I promise to get together soon. Girl B begs me repeatedly to get with her and I'm super vague. There's another event the next day that a lot of folks are going to and she insists I gotta come. But I tell her I got stuff to do and can't make it. I find out later Girl B is married with a kid, her husband called the cops on her the week before in front of their son, she ain't got a pot to piss in and is over 40 years old.

I say all this to say that a lot of times people show us up front who they are. Yet people choose to ignore it and give them the benefit of the doubt. On the surface, Girl B was nice enough but this info is more than enough for me to know this heffa is crazy, rife with drama and would be draining to deal with on a regular basis so I won't. Pay attention to the signs they're almost always right there.

[Edited 9/23/11 7:47am]

SCNDLS said:

paintedlady said:

Most don't try this sorta stuff right off the bat... once something outrageous does happen I'm out. When I meet them they are usually REALLY nice. They hide their crazy. I would never purposely hang out with some rude bitch. I am polite but not stupid. People do confuse my kindness for a weakness though, they are shocked when I stand up and tell them to take their mess elsewhere.

Women up here though tend to be aggressive and pushy... I am not like that. I am more mellow and mild tempered.

Oh, okay. I was finnta say!

But my experience is that folks show you the crazy pretty damn soon if you talk to 'em long enough.

For instance, I went to a party recently by myself where I didn't know anyone. I sat next to this lady who was cooler than a fan and we vibed instantly. We will definitely hang out. She was mature, funny, and cute. Really down to earth.

On the other hand, an acquaintance introduced me to this other chick who seemed really nice. Real cute, banging body, Beyonce weave, dressed to the 9s. We get into a conversation and Girl B mentions that she just bought a BMW. The acquaintance tells her that I have a bimmer too. Girl B asks, "How much are oil changes?" I say "Oh, around $75." Homegirl freaks the fuck out. Then asks, "How much to fill up?" I'm already looking at this broad crazy cuz how you gon' buy a car and not look into this type of shit??? Anyway, I say "Ummm, you have to use 91-93 octane so at least $60 a week depending on how much you drive."

This chick starts tripping in the party REALLY loudly about how she can't afford this car and that she's in a loaner from the dealer cuz they were working on her car and since the car had a full tank of gas she's gonna drive the car until it gets on E to delay having to put gas in her new car. Then she tells me the car has almost 60k miles and she didn't buy an extended warranty. Heffa is visibly upset about the expense of the car. Girl you shoulda seen me face. So I tell her, "Girl, ain't shit you can do about it now. You've signed on the dotted line, it's a great car, so you better hope it doesn't break down and enjoy the ride."

Later on, she's standing behind me talking to a guy who annoyed everyone at the party as soon as he walked in. He was loud, obnoxious, had to be the center of everyone's attention and couldn't stand still to save his life. I immediately decided, he was clearly on something. The cool Girl A is an opthalmologist and he cornered her in conversation. When she sat down she confirms, "I couldn't see what color his eyes were cuz his damn pupils were fully dilated." Yep, he on some shit.

A few minutes later, crazy Girl B and obnoxious dude are standing behind my chair talking. I overhear the girl say, "I'm really needy and I need a man to take care of me." She spends the rest of the party hugged up with this obvious loser.

At the end of the night, everyone's exchanging contact info. Girl A and I promise to get together soon. Girl B begs me repeatedly to get with her and I'm super vague. There's another event the next day that a lot of folks are going to and she insists I gotta come. But I tell her I got stuff to do and can't make it. I find out later Girl B is married with a kid, her husband called the cops on her the week before in front of their son, she ain't got a pot to piss in and is over 40 years old.

I say all this to say that a lot of times people show us up front who they are. Yet people choose to ignore it and give them the benefit of the doubt. On the surface, Girl B was nice enough but this info is more than enough for me to know this heffa is crazy, rife with drama and would be draining to deal with on a regular basis so I won't. Pay attention to the signs they're almost always right there.

[Edited 9/23/11 7:47am]

So, um, Girl B had a bangin' body, eh?? Did you get them digits, in case anyone in particular would want them?

alexnvrmnd777 said:

SCNDLS said:

Oh, okay. I was finnta say!

But my experience is that folks show you the crazy pretty damn soon if you talk to 'em long enough.

For instance, I went to a party recently by myself where I didn't know anyone. I sat next to this lady who was cooler than a fan and we vibed instantly. We will definitely hang out. She was mature, funny, and cute. Really down to earth.

On the other hand, an acquaintance introduced me to this other chick who seemed really nice. Real cute, banging body, Beyonce weave, dressed to the 9s. We get into a conversation and Girl B mentions that she just bought a BMW. The acquaintance tells her that I have a bimmer too. Girl B asks, "How much are oil changes?" I say "Oh, around $75." Homegirl freaks the fuck out. Then asks, "How much to fill up?" I'm already looking at this broad crazy cuz how you gon' buy a car and not look into this type of shit??? Anyway, I say "Ummm, you have to use 91-93 octane so at least $60 a week depending on how much you drive."

This chick starts tripping in the party REALLY loudly about how she can't afford this car and that she's in a loaner from the dealer cuz they were working on her car and since the car had a full tank of gas she's gonna drive the car until it gets on E to delay having to put gas in her new car. Then she tells me the car has almost 60k miles and she didn't buy an extended warranty. Heffa is visibly upset about the expense of the car. Girl you shoulda seen me face. So I tell her, "Girl, ain't shit you can do about it now. You've signed on the dotted line, it's a great car, so you better hope it doesn't break down and enjoy the ride."

Later on, she's standing behind me talking to a guy who annoyed everyone at the party as soon as he walked in. He was loud, obnoxious, had to be the center of everyone's attention and couldn't stand still to save his life. I immediately decided, he was clearly on something. The cool Girl A is an opthalmologist and he cornered her in conversation. When she sat down she confirms, "I couldn't see what color his eyes were cuz his damn pupils were fully dilated." Yep, he on some shit.

A few minutes later, crazy Girl B and obnoxious dude are standing behind my chair talking. I overhear the girl say, "I'm really needy and I need a man to take care of me." She spends the rest of the party hugged up with this obvious loser.

At the end of the night, everyone's exchanging contact info. Girl A and I promise to get together soon. Girl B begs me repeatedly to get with her and I'm super vague. There's another event the next day that a lot of folks are going to and she insists I gotta come. But I tell her I got stuff to do and can't make it. I find out later Girl B is married with a kid, her husband called the cops on her the week before in front of their son, she ain't got a pot to piss in and is over 40 years old.

I say all this to say that a lot of times people show us up front who they are. Yet people choose to ignore it and give them the benefit of the doubt. On the surface, Girl B was nice enough but this info is more than enough for me to know this heffa is crazy, rife with drama and would be draining to deal with on a regular basis so I won't. Pay attention to the signs they're almost always right there.

[Edited 9/23/11 7:47am]

So, um, Girl B had a bangin' body, eh?? Did you get them digits, in case anyone in particular would want them?

She was fitness model fine. Didn't know needy, broke, and clingy was your type, Alex.

SCNDLS said:

alexnvrmnd777 said:

So, um, Girl B had a bangin' body, eh?? Did you get them digits, in case anyone in particular would want them?

She was fitness model fine. Didn't know needy, broke, and clingy was your type, Alex.

Nope, it's not! Just the bangin' body!!!! After the sex, she's out da door!!!!! Her and her wackass Beamer.

SCNDLS said:

paintedlady said:

Most don't try this sorta stuff right off the bat... once something outrageous does happen I'm out. When I meet them they are usually REALLY nice. They hide their crazy. I would never purposely hang out with some rude bitch. I am polite but not stupid. People do confuse my kindness for a weakness though, they are shocked when I stand up and tell them to take their mess elsewhere.

Women up here though tend to be aggressive and pushy... I am not like that. I am more mellow and mild tempered.

Oh, okay. I was finnta say!

But my experience is that folks show you the crazy pretty damn soon if you talk to 'em long enough.

For instance, I went to a party recently by myself where I didn't know anyone. I sat next to this lady who was cooler than a fan and we vibed instantly. We will definitely hang out. She was mature, funny, and cute. Really down to earth.

On the other hand, an acquaintance introduced me to this other chick who seemed really nice. Real cute, banging body, Beyonce weave, dressed to the 9s. We get into a conversation and Girl B mentions that she just bought a BMW. The acquaintance tells her that I have a bimmer too. Girl B asks, "How much are oil changes?" I say "Oh, around $75." Homegirl freaks the fuck out. Then asks, "How much to fill up?" I'm already looking at this broad crazy cuz how you gon' buy a car and not look into this type of shit??? Anyway, I say "Ummm, you have to use 91-93 octane so at least $60 a week depending on how much you drive."

This chick starts tripping in the party REALLY loudly about how she can't afford this car and that she's in a loaner from the dealer cuz they were working on her car and since the car had a full tank of gas she's gonna drive the car until it gets on E to delay having to put gas in her new car. Then she tells me the car has almost 60k miles and she didn't buy an extended warranty. Heffa is visibly upset about the expense of the car. Girl you shoulda seen me face. So I tell her, "Girl, ain't shit you can do about it now. You've signed on the dotted line, it's a great car, so you better hope it doesn't break down and enjoy the ride."

Later on, she's standing behind me talking to a guy who annoyed everyone at the party as soon as he walked in. He was loud, obnoxious, had to be the center of everyone's attention and couldn't stand still to save his life. I immediately decided, he was clearly on something. The cool Girl A is an opthalmologist and he cornered her in conversation. When she sat down she confirms, "I couldn't see what color his eyes were cuz his damn pupils were fully dilated." Yep, he on some shit.

A few minutes later, crazy Girl B and obnoxious dude are standing behind my chair talking. I overhear the girl say, "I'm really needy and I need a man to take care of me." She spends the rest of the party hugged up with this obvious loser.

At the end of the night, everyone's exchanging contact info. Girl A and I promise to get together soon. Girl B begs me repeatedly to get with her and I'm super vague. There's another event the next day that a lot of folks are going to and she insists I gotta come. But I tell her I got stuff to do and can't make it. I find out later Girl B is married with a kid, her husband called the cops on her the week before in front of their son, she ain't got a pot to piss in and is over 40 years old.

I say all this to say that a lot of times people show us up front who they are. Yet people choose to ignore it and give them the benefit of the doubt. On the surface, Girl B was nice enough but this info is more than enough for me to know this heffa is crazy, rife with drama and would be draining to deal with on a regular basis so I won't. Pay attention to the signs they're almost always right there.

[Edited 9/23/11 7:47am]

Few people up here give themelves away like that around me. They are cool enough but in time their asses show...

Like one buddy saw my guy and went on to give him one of those "full body, crush her torso against his, let him know she was available" hugs. Yes, she was pretty and a flirt but I would think a friend wouldn't push up on my guy like that...

One chick talked ish about me behind my back to my own family, spreading lies about me because I found out she was sleeping with a married man and I no longer wanted my daughter in her car while she stalked him.

One who decided it was cool to bounce a check and not pay me for her head of hair that I tamed to perfection.

Or the sweet neighbor I loved to do the mommy stuff with until her daughter told mine that she didn't look like a nigger....

I cut off all these chicks but I must have a "walk all ova me sign" ... Still tells me all the time that I am too damn nice to bitches, she may be right.

I am getting to be less trusting now. I don't give heffas the benefit like I used to.

I will say this... those "associates of friends" are always some jacked up people. Needy and so full of compliments. When I meet an overly complimentary person I run in the opposite direction.

seriously, i've learned the best thing for me when someone is untruthful, rude, sarcastic and/or manipulative, is to walk away.

after the pissing off happens, if that person approaches me for any conversation, i look at them (unagressively and) straight in the eyes. i then begin to focus on the wall behind them. i follow up (in the middle of their sentence) by telling them, "i have to walk away right now." i then walk away. there is only cordial silence from me to them from then on.

the results can have a dual effect. either in our next encounter that person start kissing up by sharing some useless information or the such. i choose to reply by talking about the weather.

or they apologize. i have then have the option of asking them "for what?" or i may or may not reply to the apology. in either case i have more then one future option. i can of politely ignore them, or (by choice) avoid any unnecessary encounters.

i've not had to encounter too many pissers in my life time, thank the heavens.

for me, trust is such a key element to my close associates or my closest friends. once someone seriously *ucks up my world, they stay up outta my realm.

"forgiving has no rules about forgeting a person's real character." quote by Free2bFreeda