This shit is at least as good as Shakespeare's Sonnets...

myfavorite said:

just watch theone with leo decaprio ...

Speaking of "Shakesperian speak" and Leo...I thought the movie "Romeo and Juliet" that he starred in was pretty hilarious and not in a good way. I get what they were trying to do but it just didn't translate IMO.

King Lear in da house (This si not to offend, just to sound ghetto)

Goneril: I luvs you pops more than all dese otha hos up in this mfxka, I loves you like a short stack.

Lear: I am giving yo ass this block, that block and that set of projects, plus that liqua stow

Regan: Y'all betta not b frontin on my love, its so real Miss Jackson (I am foreal)

Lear: You can have this shit and that shit, my burger joint, that rap studio and the Outkast projex

Cordelia: I luv dad as a baby momma and nothin else

Lear: Yo betta watch yo mouth Cordyshanique!

Cordelia: Oh hell naw!

Is Marlowe ok?

Faust. Ayo!

1st Schol. What up F?

Faust. You like my brother, mayne. We been through some serious shit, but now shit be getting too real you know? He be comin' for me.

2nd Schol. Whatchu talkin' about F?

3rd Schol. Yo, F be trippin'.

1st Schol. I got some sticky icky back at the crib can fix him, don't even worry 'bout it.

Faust. I'm still here, fools. Why you talking like I ain't here? I done some for real hocus pocus shit I can't excape, you know what I'm sayin'?

2nd Schol. You need Jesus, mayne.

Faust. Nah, I cop to this I'ma still catch all the heat. Check it, and don't be buggin' out ok? I got all up in some shit I wish I never. I seen some other level shit too tho', done some crazy-ass shit you wutn't believe. My name be ringing out for real, but I lost some shit too. God got no love for me now. I been burning bridges like a muthafucka, gonna land my ass in hell fo' sho'. The fuck I'ma do in hell?

3rd Schol. I hear that, but still sound to me like you could get you some Jesus, just be all repenting and shit and let it do what it do.

Faust. Big old satellite-dish-looking ears and you still can't hear a muthafucka! God's the one I done fucked shit up with! They coming for me, man. Shit's so bad I could cry, no homo. Cain't find the words, man. Cain't even grab my shit and bounce, it's like they got my body on some paralytical lockdown shit.

All. Who comin', F?

Faust. L-Cypher and Muthafucka Lee. I gave 'em ey'thing for some of them 22 inch dubs, some courtside seats and one of them blu-ray players.

All. Hell naw!

Faust. I knew it was wack but I hat to. When can F-Stizzle get some shine? When I gets to go off? I gotta get my swag on too, mayne. I paid my dues, but now they sayin' it ain't work like that and I'm assed out.

1st Schol. Why u ditn't tell us?? I coulda hit up God, Jesus and them, see if they up for clockin' some fools. They roll deep, F.

Faust. I was gonna ax you but I thought I had shit handled by myself. I didn't want y'all getting jacked up over some shit I was into. They told me they'd fuck me up and anyone I was rollin' with. Shit's too late now anyway, I'm through.

2nd Schol. No F, just say the word, we your aces, man. What you wanna do?

Faust. Nah, y'all can bail. I got this.

3rd Schol. I cain't do that, F. I'ma roll wit' you.

1st Schol. Nah, he right. He gotta do this hiself. Shit's too deep. We gon' pray for you for a minute, F.

Faust. A'ight, thanks man. Y'all know you my brothers but you too backpack for this real shit.

2nd Schol. A'ight, I'ma bounce but you know I got your back on the prayer shit. I'ma go balls deep in that shit, get my prayer on for you mayne.

Faust. Uh, ok. I be checkin out. I'ma come through tomorrow if I ain't get merked tonight. Late!

All. Late!

Exeunt SCHOLARS. The clock strikes eleven.

Faust. The fuck you did, F?

Ain't got shit but one hour,

Before I'm gettin' burned for sho,

And this fake-ass Tag gon' start keeping time now?

Ain't that a bitch.

Slow your roll, damn!

What you NEED to be doing is hold up and let a brotha have one long-ass night,

But instead you ackin like you made in Switzerland or some shit.

I'm finna get my A-Team on and save my ass.

Carpo diem muthafuckas!

Hey, who grabbed my pant leg?

Shit's getting dark like I'm washed, mayne!

Shoulda listened to backpack and them and hit up God.

Jesus! Help a brotha out!

Sheeeeeeeeeit. Muthafucka got me on hold.

Devil, let go my leg, you fuckin' up my kicks!

Come on God, you know me!

It's yo boy, F. I love me some Al Green, and not just the old Al, I'm talking Reverend Al too.

Oh, hell naw!

Earth be opening up more than them skeezes down the club.

Gettin' all misty and shit up in here.

Where you at?

The watch strikes [the half hour].

Aw naw, man!

What I'ma do? God, think on it, I ain't really do nuthin', I mean not really.

You gotta forgive a brotha!

Stick me in the pen, yo. I'll do 20, any number you like, just let me get up out that bitch before I got that old-timers disease or some shit.

Yo, turn me into a animal. I seen 'em on discovery and they got no swag about them 'cause they be runnin' around all naked and shit but they ain't trippin' 'bout no bills or nuthin, they happy.

And when they die they don't gotta be all sad and shit.

They just evaporated in the air or go to White Castle to be a burger or whatever.

Aw, fuck me! Fuck tha devil! Fuck tha police!

The clock striketh twelve.

Oh, hell naw it's midnite!

God, why you do me like this???

Enter DEVILS.

Who that grabbing me in my neck? Fuckin' with my azma.

I've had it with these muthafuckin' adders and serpents 'round my muthafuckin' neck!!!!!

Noooooooo! L-Cypher, you need to step off, I ain't even playin'!

Ok, I'll give back the all days, blu-ray and all that shit! - Ah, Muthufucka Lee!

Exeunt DEVILS with FAUSTUS.

Iz I Be or Iz I not Be, dat is da fuckin question...

yall are brilliant.

From Sonnet LXII

Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye
And all my soul and all my every part;
And for this sin there is no remedy,

Reinterpreted: Genesia can't stop masturbating!

Polonius (behind them drapes) - Shit, I got capped!

Gertrude - What you did, son?

Hamlet - Nah, don't be checkin' me moms. Sound like the King need a ambolance tho?

Gertrude - Stop frontin', son, what cold murderous shit is this?

Hamlet - Cold murderous shit? Ain't no thing but a chicken wing, moms, like one week you murk a King, be putting him in the ground all weeping and shit, and next week someone peep you rollin' up to the club with his brother.

Gertrude - Murk a King?

Hamlet - Word.

Before we all get carried away, we may have to rename it "Ghetto Earl of Oxford whio died in 1604 lyrix"

Damn Yorick...we was boys back in 'da day!

imago said:

yall are brilliant.

From Sonnet LXII

Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye
And all my soul and all my every part;
And for this sin there is no remedy,

Reinterpreted: Genesia can't stop masturbating!

Was this for something you're doing or are we just performing monkeys?