I've had 3 & I'll never do it again [unless it's a celeb ]. All 3 I had always wanted more....but I guess it could be worse...

I'm sort of against them kinda.... but as a recent divorcee I'm pretty sure that I have to have one soon so that I don't continue to exist in this strange transient state.

Certainly I have to have one before I even consider getting into another relationship.

Problem is, I think I forgot how.

imago said:

I would like to have sex with Efan though. I think that would be a lot of fun, and probably kind of funny and sweet, especially if I could get him to yoddle.

Oh, hell yes. I don't know what yoddling is, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make you do it.

Of course yay. Anyone who says they are closed to them is a prude and needs their head checked.

Spinlight said:

Of course yay. Anyone who says they are closed to them is a prude and needs their head checked.

If somebody else is into them then more power to them, but I have never met a man in my life who I wanted to fuck just for one night.

Efan said:

imago said:

I would like to have sex with Efan though. I think that would be a lot of fun, and probably kind of funny and sweet, especially if I could get him to yoddle.

Oh, hell yes. I don't know what yoddling is, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make you do it.

I don't even want to speculate what "yoddling" is. Especially when it comes to Dan.

Serious said:

Spinlight said:

Of course yay. Anyone who says they are closed to them is a prude and needs their head checked.

If somebody else is into them then more power to them, but I have never met a man in my life who I wanted to fuck just for one night.

Good for you. That means you still have a chance to find him.

And that there's still time to get your head checked.

CarrieMpls said:

Efan said:

Oh, hell yes. I don't know what yoddling is, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make you do it.

I don't even want to speculate what "yoddling" is. Especially when it comes to Dan.

From Urban Dictionary:

1. Yoddle is not a word at all. It is just a word that gets spelled wrong. This is the correct spelling. Yodel. There is a website that uses this yoddle. However, it is a search engine and has nothing to do with "Yodelling".

Spinlight said:

Serious said:

If somebody else is into them then more power to them, but I have never met a man in my life who I wanted to fuck just for one night.

Good for you. That means you still have a chance to find him.

And that there's still time to get your head checked.

But I don't want to find such a man. If I see a man who I feel so attracted to that I want to fuck him I fall in love with him too. Instant lust and instant love go hand in hand for me.

Serious said:

Spinlight said:

Good for you. That means you still have a chance to find him.

And that there's still time to get your head checked.

But I don't want to find such a man. If I see a man who I feel so attracted to that I want to fuck him I fall in love with him too. Instant lust and instant love go hand in hand for me.

How can you instantly love someone?

Efan said:

CarrieMpls said:

I don't even want to speculate what "yoddling" is. Especially when it comes to Dan.

From Urban Dictionary:

1. Yoddle is not a word at all. It is just a word that gets spelled wrong. This is the correct spelling. Yodel. There is a website that uses this yoddle. However, it is a search engine and has nothing to do with "Yodelling".

Yoddle me a song should say: Yodel me a song.

2. A greeting, like hi or hello, used mainly in MSN chats

3. A creature of the night that raises and grooms goats. Her Son is born with pubic hair head, and her daughter is babalicious.

I knew a girl named Yoddle.

Jodelen is a very serious form of singing!

For some people

Efan said:

imago said:

I would like to have sex with Efan though. I think that would be a lot of fun, and probably kind of funny and sweet, especially if I could get him to yoddle.

Oh, hell yes. I don't know what yoddling is, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make you do it.

It's Imago's lucky day!

Spinlight said:

Serious said:

But I don't want to find such a man. If I see a man who I feel so attracted to that I want to fuck him I fall in love with him too. Instant lust and instant love go hand in hand for me.

How can you instantly love someone?

I'm not trying to speak for Serious or anybody here, but let me throw in something here...

"Love" probably isn't the right word, but lots of people form intense emotional bonds with someone during and after having sex with them. I have a friend, a woman, who has tried to have one-time sexual encounters and she is always a mess after them. Because even though she thinks going in that it will just be a one-night thing, she always wants more afterward, even if the guy isn't a keeper. And that's when I get the phone call asking if I can get together for a drink because she needs some friendly support after her latest misadventure.

No, it isn't "love" in the strict sense of the word, but when your heart is aching, who cares about the semantics? Lots of people choose not to, or perhaps can't, separate the emotional and the physical aspects of sex.

Efan said:

Spinlight said:

How can you instantly love someone?

I'm not trying to speak for Serious or anybody here, but let me throw in something here...

"Love" probably isn't the right word, but lots of people form intense emotional bonds with someone during and after having sex with them. I have a friend, a woman, who has tried to have one-time sexual encounters and she is always a mess after them. Because even though she thinks going in that it will just be a one-night thing, she always wants more afterward, even if the guy isn't a keeper. And that's when I get the phone call asking if I can get together for a drink because she needs some friendly support after her latest misadventure.

No, it isn't "love" in the strict sense of the word, but when your heart is aching, who cares about the semantics? Lots of people choose not to, or perhaps can't, separate the emotional and the physical aspects of sex.

Doesn't this imply that the person needs their head checked, like I said before? I'm not judging your friend, just saying that if she went to a therapist and discussed the issue she would likely reach a resolution that freed her up a bit. She's half way there, being able to go through with the act of sex itself.

Spinlight said:

Efan said:

I'm not trying to speak for Serious or anybody here, but let me throw in something here...

"Love" probably isn't the right word, but lots of people form intense emotional bonds with someone during and after having sex with them. I have a friend, a woman, who has tried to have one-time sexual encounters and she is always a mess after them. Because even though she thinks going in that it will just be a one-night thing, she always wants more afterward, even if the guy isn't a keeper. And that's when I get the phone call asking if I can get together for a drink because she needs some friendly support after her latest misadventure.

No, it isn't "love" in the strict sense of the word, but when your heart is aching, who cares about the semantics? Lots of people choose not to, or perhaps can't, separate the emotional and the physical aspects of sex.

Doesn't this imply that the person needs their head checked, like I said before? I'm not judging your friend, just saying that if she went to a therapist and discussed the issue she would likely reach a resolution that freed her up a bit. She's half way there, being able to go through with the act of sex itself.

That's funny--I told her to talk to her shrink about it. But I told her to pull back. She should NOT be attempting one-night stands. I don't think they're for everybody.

But overall, no, I don't think it implies everyone needs their heads checked if they form emotional attachments along with sexual ones. I think that is far more biologically ingrained than you're giving it credit for.

I have that problem with developing emotional connections. The events that followed my first one night stand were..... uh.... embarrasing to say the least.

I could talk to a shrink about it. I know it most likely stems from growing up motherless. But now that I'm divorced, I'm gonna see if I can get over it on my own. I think I probably can.

If she needs her head checked, I’d be more apt to say it’s for doing something she clearly already knows doesn’t work for her. And repeatedly. But hey, we all make mistakes.

I suppose if she wants to have one night stands she could work through the issues she has with them. But she could also stop having them. Either way.

As long as all are consenting adults who play safely there’s nothing wrong with a one night stand. There’s also nothing wrong with knowing they’re not for you, for whatever reason.

Efan said:

Spinlight said:

How can you instantly love someone?

I'm not trying to speak for Serious or anybody here, but let me throw in something here...

"Love" probably isn't the right word, but lots of people form intense emotional bonds with someone during and after having sex with them. I have a friend, a woman, who has tried to have one-time sexual encounters and she is always a mess after them. Because even though she thinks going in that it will just be a one-night thing, she always wants more afterward, even if the guy isn't a keeper. And that's when I get the phone call asking if I can get together for a drink because she needs some friendly support after her latest misadventure.

No, it isn't "love" in the strict sense of the word, but when your heart is aching, who cares about the semantics? Lots of people choose not to, or perhaps can't, separate the emotional and the physical aspects of sex.

I don't know if that might be the case for me as I never had sex with anybody who I didn't love before we had sex.

Spinlight said:

Serious said:

But I don't want to find such a man. If I see a man who I feel so attracted to that I want to fuck him I fall in love with him too. Instant lust and instant love go hand in hand for me.

How can you instantly love someone?

Never heard about love at first sight? For me there is either an instant attraction that makes me fall in love or or there is none and then I will very likely never ever feel attracted to that person ever. I hardly ever fall in love, but if I do it is pretty much always at first sight. And it isn't just infatuation, but true love that lasts.

Militant said:

I have that problem with developing emotional connections. The events that followed my first one night stand were..... uh.... embarrasing to say the least.

I could talk to a shrink about it. I know it most likely stems from growing up motherless. But now that I'm divorced, I'm gonna see if I can get over it on my own. I think I probably can.

I think you can, too. I think anyone who suffers loss in a relationship can, because perspective changes in hindsight.

I've been in a relationship now for going on 7 years. If I were to be left tomomorrow, it'd surely crush me, but I would be fucking a string of guys left and right (with condoms, mind you) in the aftermath.

CarrieMpls said:

If she needs her head checked, I’d be more apt to say it’s for doing something she clearly already knows doesn’t work for her. And repeatedly. But hey, we all make mistakes.

I suppose if she wants to have one night stands she could work through the issues she has with them. But she could also stop having them. Either way.

As long as all are consenting adults who play safely there’s nothing wrong with a one night stand. There’s also nothing wrong with knowing they’re not for you, for whatever reason.

That's actually what I told her: Why are you trying to do something that's clearly not cut out for you? It's not that important to do.

And like half the people in New York, she already has a shrink, so it wasn't like I told her to go get one because of this. I just said she should bring it up during an appointment sometime.

Serious said:

Spinlight said:

How can you instantly love someone?

Never heard about love at first sight? For me there is either an instant attraction that makes me fall in love or or there is none and then I will very likely never ever feel attracted to that person ever. I hardly ever fall in love, but if I do it is pretty much always at first sight. And it isn't just infatuation, but true love that lasts.

I hope you don't find this prying or whatever. I am just curious about your nature.

I do think I have felt a love at first sight type of feeling, but I now believe it to be lust/fascination/infatuation. I am far too skeptical of men because, well, men lie. Men cheat. Men do a lot of evil shit.

Maybe that's why I know better, cuz I am a man. I don't do any of those things and I am not evil (well, maybe a little) but I know men can sweet talk.

However, that's why I just get a nut and then bounce. Masturbating is cool and useful, but not satisfying forever.

Efan said:

CarrieMpls said:

If she needs her head checked, I’d be more apt to say it’s for doing something she clearly already knows doesn’t work for her. And repeatedly. But hey, we all make mistakes.

I suppose if she wants to have one night stands she could work through the issues she has with them. But she could also stop having them. Either way.

As long as all are consenting adults who play safely there’s nothing wrong with a one night stand. There’s also nothing wrong with knowing they’re not for you, for whatever reason.

That's actually what I told her: Why are you trying to do something that's clearly not cut out for you? It's not that important to do.

And like half the people in New York, she already has a shrink, so it wasn't like I told her to go get one because of this. I just said she should bring it up during an appointment sometime.

Chicken or the egg?

I brought up headchecking because there has to be a source for the behavior somewhere. Her want seems to be overcoming her need.

I dunno. I sit a lot on fences about this stuff because it changes. You make these grand declarations and then the next year, something is different. Speaking in finalities about relationships or interpersonal crap is jarring to me because people are chameleons.

Spinlight said:

Serious said:

Never heard about love at first sight? For me there is either an instant attraction that makes me fall in love or or there is none and then I will very likely never ever feel attracted to that person ever. I hardly ever fall in love, but if I do it is pretty much always at first sight. And it isn't just infatuation, but true love that lasts.

I hope you don't find this prying or whatever. I am just curious about your nature.

I do think I have felt a love at first sight type of feeling, but I now believe it to be lust/fascination/infatuation. I am far too skeptical of men because, well, men lie. Men cheat. Men do a lot of evil shit.

Maybe that's why I know better, cuz I am a man. I don't do any of those things and I am not evil (well, maybe a little) but I know men can sweet talk.

However, that's why I just get a nut and then bounce. Masturbating is cool and useful, but not satisfying forever.

No problem .

I am female and I am talking about my own feelings and I know if I want a man after knowing him for 1 minute I will still want him and care about him 10 or 20 years later. And if I am not at least really fascinated by him one way or another within a very, very short period of time, I will probably never be.

The sweet talking that you mention makes me fall in love with them even deeper, but the instant "magic" attraction that happens maybe every 10 years happens already before that, with the very first look or smile. But yes the first let's say 2 minutes of a talk might still break it I guess if I would realize that the other one isn't attracted too.

Well for me it's hard to say what's exactly the difference between love/infatuation/lust/fascination. But when it lasts for many years or even forever and leads to long relationships then it must be more than just infatuation IMO.

Serious said:

Spinlight said:

I hope you don't find this prying or whatever. I am just curious about your nature.

I do think I have felt a love at first sight type of feeling, but I now believe it to be lust/fascination/infatuation. I am far too skeptical of men because, well, men lie. Men cheat. Men do a lot of evil shit.

Maybe that's why I know better, cuz I am a man. I don't do any of those things and I am not evil (well, maybe a little) but I know men can sweet talk.

However, that's why I just get a nut and then bounce. Masturbating is cool and useful, but not satisfying forever.

No problem .

I am female and I am talking about my own feelings and I know if I want a man after knowing him for 1 minute I will still want him and care about him 10 or 20 years later. And if I am not at least really fascinated by him one way or another within a very, very short period of time, I will probably never be.

The sweet talking that you mention makes me fall in love with them even deeper, but the instant "magic" attraction that happens maybe every 10 years happens already before that, with the very first look or smile. But yes the first let's say 2 minutes of a talk might still break it I guess if I would realize that the other one isn't attracted too.

Well for me it's hard to say what's exactly the difference between love/infatuation/lust/fascination. But when it lasts for many years or even forever and leads to long relationships then it must be more than just infatuation IMO.

So you remove the possibility that you could mistakenly fall for someone?

There were a few situations around the time I first began dating where I felt genuine love for the man. As much love as I could muster. But if I were to compare that love to any other kind of love I had in later years, it seems to me that it is much stronger now but that it had little to do with the sexual aspect.

Hell, I've been in at least 1 relationship where the sex dried up to due to non-sexual issues for years. But if anything, the sex encouraged and helped the relationship blossom from the beginning. If I truly did feel love at first sight, I would immediately want to be one with them.

But that won't stop me from appeasing the purely carnal side cuz a girl's gotta eat.

Spinlight said:

Serious said:

No problem .

I am female and I am talking about my own feelings and I know if I want a man after knowing him for 1 minute I will still want him and care about him 10 or 20 years later. And if I am not at least really fascinated by him one way or another within a very, very short period of time, I will probably never be.

The sweet talking that you mention makes me fall in love with them even deeper, but the instant "magic" attraction that happens maybe every 10 years happens already before that, with the very first look or smile. But yes the first let's say 2 minutes of a talk might still break it I guess if I would realize that the other one isn't attracted too.

Well for me it's hard to say what's exactly the difference between love/infatuation/lust/fascination. But when it lasts for many years or even forever and leads to long relationships then it must be more than just infatuation IMO.

So you remove the possibility that you could mistakenly fall for someone?

There were a few situations around the time I first began dating where I felt genuine love for the man. As much love as I could muster. But if I were to compare that love to any other kind of love I had in later years, it seems to me that it is much stronger now but that it had little to do with the sexual aspect.

Hell, I've been in at least 1 relationship where the sex dried up to due to non-sexual issues for years. But if anything, the sex encouraged and helped the relationship blossom from the beginning. If I truly did feel love at first sight, I would immediately want to be one with them.

But that won't stop me from appeasing the purely carnal side cuz a girl's gotta eat.

What you mean by mistakenly fall in love? That I fall out of love again quickly or that I find out that it is't the right person to spend my life with?

So when you fall for somebody and it's not so much sexual attraction the love is stronger? Did I understand that right?

As soon as I consider a man hot I already want him in my life forever .

dJJ said:

Yay ---> when bored

Nay ---> when shag with friend/ lover is an option

Interesting....you see shag with a friend as preferable to a stranger?

JustErin said:

What do you think of it as an idea, a behavior? No thanks

Ever had one? Yes

Which circumstances? I was out of town and really drunk

How was it? Grosses me out to think about it now.

^ THIS

Shegoes said:

dJJ said:

Yay ---> when bored

Nay ---> when shag with friend/ lover is an option

Interesting....you see shag with a friend as preferable to a stranger?

Yep. If friend is single. I prefer having sex with somebody I know I like, thensomebody I don't know and don't have a click with.

No for me. I haven't had sex with someone who I didn't want to spend more time with (and have more sex with) before.

Plus, I'm too much of a mush for that, but I envy people (especially women) who can "love them and leave them".