There's a guy I find real attractive. I'm legal, but young. Thing is.. he's 33, so there's a 14 year age difference. He seems to have his life together, very respectful, handsome. He's been catching my eye, and I've been feeling somewhat guilty I guess because I'm so young plus I know what others may probably say. I keep seeing him around at random events & he acts shy only around me, but low-key mentioning he's single when in a conversation with a group of people. I'm starting to wonder if this is a sign or something. But just in case it is...Has anyone delt with age difference? If so, what was the outcome? Give me honest answers, it wont hurt my feelings. Pinky promise.

[Edited 7/23/11 23:33pm]

If you are asking us, only one thing is for certain. You are not.

[Edited 7/23/11 23:33pm]

I'd go for it.

CM7 said:

If you are asking us, only one thing is for certain. You are not.

[Edited 7/23/11 23:33pm]

I simply just asked what you guys thought about it. I never said that I *was certain about it ..because I'm not. That's the whole reason I started the topic.

[Edited 7/23/11 23:50pm]

Wow, i have had the same issue with not even that big a difference!

I liked a 27 year old guy & a 28 year old. I'm 20... and they treat me like i'm Lolita.... i mean i AM legal as you are Giselle lol.

I think it matters in some areas, but i think if there's an attraction, and good feelings i don't see why not. Your both adults your younger but still an adult so i would say try it

You don't have to be certain to do something as many accounts would show.

Only you know whether or not you really want to. My opinion is that it would be better the more you knew you wanted it.

As you stated no one can stop you by law.

You''ll know for sure what people think if you do.

The choice is up to you.

As long as they're over the age of consent (and mature), then do what you gotta do.

Oh...ok.

If you are certain then... then who is anyone to say?

I'm not trying to circumvent the question or anything.

That is just my answer.

I don't think it's my place to say.

[Edited 7/23/11 23:46pm]

wait.... I am sooooooooooo confused.

I don't know if you just said you were certain or uncertain.

I really appreciate your responses. If I had a picture of this dude, you wouldn't dare think he was 33. He looks early 20's or something. I just found out his age tonight & was like....'whoa whoa whoa'.

I'm 39, and the last 5 people I've slept with or 'dated' haven't been older than 25.

I don't have a problem with it. I don't go looking for it...it just sort of falls in your lap here.

Giselle said:

I really appreciate your responses. If I had a picture of this dude, you wouldn't dare think he was 33. He looks early 20's or something. I just found out his age tonight & was like....'whoa whoa whoa'.

Yeah long as he got his shit together, try it, and if it doesn't work out, you can always leave lol

CM7 said:

wait.... I am sooooooooooo confused.

I don't know if you just said you were certain or uncertain.

It was a mistype, babe. I was admitting that I wasn't.

Go listen to Prince's "The Morning Papers". I don't think it's a big deal, but I'm sure a lot of people will tell you it is. I had a male cousin who was early 30s and dating a 19 year old, and my family mostly disapproved, saying the woman was too young to understand love. In that case, my family was right, and my cousin and his girlfriend broke up because she just wanted to party and be a whore (and she cheated on him). So, if you're not ready to settle down and have a serious relationship, you probably shouldn't be with an older man, as he probably is looking for a serious, long-term relationship. But if you love someone, age doesn't matter. I'd say go for it and see what happens. My grandparents were 20 years apart, and they stayed together 'til death.

The1592 said:

Go listen to Prince's "The Morning Papers". I don't think it's a big deal, but I'm sure a lot of people will tell you it is. I had a male cousin who was early 30s and dating a 19 year old, and my family mostly disapproved, saying the woman was too young to understand love. In that case, my family was right, and my cousin and his girlfriend broke up because she just wanted to party and be a whore (and she cheated on him). So, if you're not ready to settle down and have a serious relationship, you probably shouldn't be with an older man, as he probably is looking for a serious, long-term relationship. But if you love someone, age doesn't matter. I'd say go for it and see what happens. My grandparents were 20 years apart, and they stayed together 'til death.

I 100% see where you are coming from. Maybe in my case & opinion find men more attractive mentally & physically in their late 20's - early 30's. Oh, and also like to add ..speaking for the percentage of women that don't sleep around and don't care much for the party life, honestly. I've always been more mature than alot of women my age.

[Edited 7/24/11 0:02am]

Whatever you're comfortable with, really, but here's two quick opinions...

1. You will have to deal with what other people think about it all the time. People will question you and they will talk shit. Not all of them - some of them, I'm sure, will be supportive. But in general, once you get up over that ten year range people start lookin' sideways.

2. IMO, once you get up over that ten year range, there really starts to be a breakdown in what you can relate to together in life. Fourteen years, especially in this day and age, means you grew up in two completely different worlds. You won't be into same stuff, won't know about the same stuff, won't be able to talk about the same stuff - at least not all of it. Will it be enough? Maybe. But I found it to be a huge issue when I dated someone who was only 11 years younger than me. It worked for about six months, but that was it. After that I didn't want to go to the mall anymore and her friends were just PURE annoyance.

PS - Make sure he's not just tryin' to get some young booty.

Cerebus said:

Whatever you're comfortable with, really, but here's two quick opinions...

1. You will have to deal with what other people think about it all the time. People will question you and they will talk shit. Not all of them - some of them, I'm sure, will be supportive. But in general, once you get up over that ten year range people start lookin' sideways.

2. IMO, once you get up over that ten year range, there really starts to be a breakdown in what you can relate to together in life. Fourteen years, especially in this day and age, means you grew up in two completely different worlds. You won't be into same stuff, won't know about the same stuff, won't be able to talk about the same stuff - at least not all of it. Will it be enough? Maybe. But I found it to be a huge issue when I dated someone who was only 11 years younger than me. It worked for about six months, but that was it. After that I didn't want to go to the mall anymore and her friends were just PURE annoyance.

PS - Make sure he's not just tryin' to get some young booty.

hhahahaha exactly. thank you. for your honesty.

imago said:

I'm 39, and the last 5 people I've slept with or 'dated' haven't been older than 25.

I don't have a problem with it. I don't go looking for it...it just sort of falls in your lap here.

When i come to Thailand watch out lol jk

When I was 21 years old I dated a woman who was 10 years older than me. The age didn't make a huge difference, although with a biological clock ticking that could have been an issue.

Hmm.. My current boyfriend is 29, 30 in September and I am 19, 20 in March. Honestly, we have never had any problems concerning the 11 year age difference.. at all. Sure, we have problems dealing with almost anything else lol but never has the age difference been a problem.

My last boyfriend was 27,28 when i was 18,19 but he was just a douche.

Cerebus said:

IMO, once you get up over that ten year range, there really starts to be a breakdown in what you can relate to together in life. Fourteen years, especially in this day and age, means you grew up in two completely different worlds. You won't be into same stuff, won't know about the same stuff, won't be able to talk about the same stuff - at least not all of it. Will it be enough? Maybe.

I was going to say something similar.

At first, it might seem cool because you are attracted to one another.

But after a while, pop culture references, politics, general outlook on life, etc. might start to bore one of you when you just can't relate. That will make it seem like attraction is the ONLY thing you have in common.

I dated a guy significantly younger than me. After a while, I thought, "Wow, we have nothing in common." I got over the cougar thing and decided I wanted substance.

I'm now seeing someone 8 years younger, but 44 & 36 is a different range.

**When we were discussing Prince and "Purple Rain"-- I was a senior in high school, he was in 4th grade.

Nothing wrong with an age difference, as long as you share similar life style and want to achieve similar goals.

As soon as your not on the same page, one is going to intrude the other his/her personal growth and therefore not a good partner.

Just go for it if you like him. You can allways leave when things aren't working out for you. Just make sure he makes you'r life better.

As soon as there is too much worrying, fighting or stress about the relationship, make sure you leave immediatly! Don't buy in to excuses. Only stay if it's good for you.

dJJ said:

Nothing wrong with an age difference, as long as you share similar life style and want to achieve similar goals.

As soon as your not on the same page, one is going to intrude the other his/her personal growth and therefore not a good partner.

Just go for it if you like him. You can allways leave when things aren't working out for you. Just make sure he makes you'r life better.

As soon as there is too much worrying, fighting or stress about the relationship, make sure you leave immediatly! Don't buy in to excuses. Only stay if it's good for you.

I "dated" a 19 year old when I was 31 or so.

What's the big deal?

I will say though, we didn't have much in common.

Giselle said:

There's a guy I find real attractive. I'm legal, but young. Thing is.. he's 33, so there's a 14 year age difference. He seems to have his life together, very respectful, handsome. He's been catching my eye, and I've been feeling somewhat guilty I guess because I'm so young plus I know what others may probably say. I keep seeing him around at random events & he acts shy only around me, but low-key mentioning he's single when in a conversation with a group of people. I'm starting to wonder if this is a sign or something. But just in case it is...Has anyone delt with age difference? If so, what was the outcome? Give me honest answers, it wont hurt my feelings. Pinky promise.

[Edited 7/23/11 23:33pm]

When I was 18 I dated a 32 year old. It didn't last more than a couple of months. The sex was fantastic, but we didn't really have much in common.

Like ive said many times"Age aint nothing but a cage"....If i was in my 20s and i was attracted 2 a sexy hot 60 year old id go 4 it!!!Her age wouldnt b a factor!!!!U have 2 find happiness where ever u can Giselle as life is 2 short and in the blink of an eye u could of wasted so much time not acting on something,so just go 4 it!!!!!

As long as someone is not older than the other's parents, I think it's cool.

If I'm with a chick who graduated in the same class as my mom, than I think she's a little too old.

If my chick where a hat to churh, than we can't do nothin' but read the bible together.

If the family always come to her house for Sunday dinner, than holla at ya boy.

JerseyKRS said:

I "dated" a 19 year old when I was 31 or so.

What's the big deal?

I will say though, we didn't have much in common.

That's really all that bothered me, too. That and her annoying friends. I didn't care what anybody else though about it, even though everyone made sure they let their opinion be known.

Cerebus said:

JerseyKRS said:

I "dated" a 19 year old when I was 31 or so.

What's the big deal?

I will say though, we didn't have much in common.

That's really all that bothered me, too. That and her annoying friends. I didn't care what anybody else though about it, even though everyone made sure they let their opinion be known.

she was kind of annoying.

My dad was 23 years older than my mom. It sounds gross now but I never even thought about it when I was growing up.....it was just normal to me. They always got on fine and were happy.

About a year ago I dated a guy 12 years older than me, and the age thing was never a problem.

Now I'm married to a guy 4 years younger than me and the only problem that arises with age is from my own insecurtiys. Their not real issues.....just issues I create in my own head.