myfavorite said:

i was thinking more along the lines of a gay person not wanting another person/gay person of the same sex to know that they were gay.

If i were gay i wouldnt want it to be a community thing in other words...is that homophobis???

I don't know; the gay "community" is a group of very different people with the only common characteristic of feeling attracted to people of the same sex. I've always felt that what is usually called gay culture or gay identity is a recent construct rather than a real unifying factor or a common heritage. And being gay but not feeling part of it doesn't make you homophobic.