HotGritz said:

That's real popular now...having birthday parties at clubs and charging admission like you going to see Keith Sweat or something. People go all out promoting these booty wack parties. DJ so and so, billboards, 5x9 glossy ads, flyers at businesses and college campuses. That shit is soooo 2003.

Grown folks oughta know better. I've had many bdays at clubs but I usually pay for my guests drinks and/or bottle service or at the least make sure they're on a guest list and don't have to pay/wait to get in.

SCNDLS said:

Exactly! If you're throwing the big party PAY FOR the big party.

In the past, when one threw a big party like this, the stickler became "Where do I cut off the guest list? So and so is going to be offended if they're not invited." Maybe that's where the "cover charge" style came from.

I'm still not a fan of that style.

Last year I traveled out of state to celebrate a friend’s 40^th birthday, paid my way to get there, paid for my hotel, paid for my own dinner and paid for my own drinks later. And I was happy to be a part of the celebration.

Now, I certainly wouldn’t do all that for just ANYone and if I had other priorities at the time and couldn’t afford it, I would have politely declined.

I don’t think it’s tacky to arrange limos for a discounted cost and offer a cash bar. (She’s giving you an option other than driving yourself and potentially needing a hotel room.) I DO think it’s tacky to keep hounding someone once they’ve declined.

Sounds like she just really likes you and wants you to be around to celebrate with.

CarrieMpls said:

Last year I traveled out of state to celebrate a friend’s 40^th birthday, paid my way to get there, paid for my hotel, paid for my own dinner and paid for my own drinks later. And I was happy to be a part of the celebration.

Now, I certainly wouldn’t do all that for just ANYone and if I had other priorities at the time and couldn’t afford it, I would have politely declined.

I don’t think it’s tacky to arrange limos for a discounted cost and offer a cash bar. (She’s giving you an option other than driving yourself and potentially needing a hotel room.) I DO think it’s tacky to keep hounding someone once they’ve declined.

Sounds like she just really likes you and wants you to be around to celebrate with.

I've also travelled and paid my own way for destination bday celebrations for close friends and family. However, getting together at a restaurant or something to celebrate is different and I wouldn't expect the bday person to pay for guests. But IMO when you're throwing a party the person hosting the party should pay for basics like food and drink. Like I said, I could have gotten past the trip charge if it weren't for the other expense/time involved.

CarrieMpls said:

Last year I traveled out of state to celebrate a friend’s 40^th birthday, paid my way to get there, paid for my hotel, paid for my own dinner and paid for my own drinks later. And I was happy to be a part of the celebration.

Now, I certainly wouldn’t do all that for just ANYone and if I had other priorities at the time and couldn’t afford it, I would have politely declined.

I don’t think it’s tacky to arrange limos for a discounted cost and offer a cash bar. (She’s giving you an option other than driving yourself and potentially needing a hotel room.) I DO think it’s tacky to keep hounding someone once they’ve declined.

Sounds like she just really likes you and wants you to be around to celebrate with.

...or needs to guarantee a minimum head count.

Nothinbutjoy said:

SCNDLS said:

Grown folks oughta know better. I've had many bdays at clubs but I usually pay for my guests drinks and/or bottle service or at the least make sure they're on a guest list and don't have to pay/wait to get in.

Exactly! If you're throwing the big party PAY FOR the big party. In the past, when one threw a big party like this, the stickler became "Where do I cut off the guest list? So and so is going to be offended if they're not invited." Maybe that's where the "cover charge" style came from. I'm still not a fan of that style.

Two of my close friends turned 40 last year so they had their party together. They paid a pretty penny for it but saved up for a few years to have the party they wanted. And you're right the guest list issue was all kindsa drama. This girl was at that party and both of these friends are going. They are among the folks hounding me about going. What I've noticed since their party last year is folks are trynna compete with what they did without putting in the work, planning and money that they did. They looked at locations for at least 2 years in advance.

Everybody can't afford to do a big party and that's cool. Do something within your means. But don't try to front while passing on the cost to your guests.

[Edited 7/6/11 14:01pm]

SCNDLS said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

SCNDLS said: Exactly! If you're throwing the big party PAY FOR the big party. In the past, when one threw a big party like this, the stickler became "Where do I cut off the guest list? So and so is going to be offended if they're not invited." Maybe that's where the "cover charge" style came from. I'm still not a fan of that style.

Two of my close friends turned 40 last year so they had their party together. They paid a pretty penny for it but saved up for a few years to have the party they wanted. And you're right the guest list issue was all kindsa drama. This girl was at that party and both of these friends are going. They are among the folks hounding me about going. What I've noticed since their party last year is folks are trynna compete with what they did without putting in the work, planning and money that they did. They looked at locations for at least 2 years in advance.

Everybody can't afford to do a big party and that's cool. Do something within your means. But don't try to front while passing on the cost to your guests.

[Edited 7/6/11 14:01pm]

As if sweet 16 parties weren't competitive enough.

HotGritz said:

SCNDLS said:

Two of my close friends turned 40 last year so they had their party together. They paid a pretty penny for it but saved up for a few years to have the party they wanted. And you're right the guest list issue was all kindsa drama. This girl was at that party and both of these friends are going. They are among the folks hounding me about going. What I've noticed since their party last year is folks are trynna compete with what they did without putting in the work, planning and money that they did. They looked at locations for at least 2 years in advance.

Everybody can't afford to do a big party and that's cool. Do something within your means. But don't try to front while passing on the cost to your guests.

[Edited 7/6/11 14:01pm]

As if sweet 16 parties weren't competitive enough.

I blame a lot of this shit on reality tv shows to be honest. Folks see how these folks party and wanna emulate the lifestyle. What they don't know is that MOST of the shit on these shows is provided by vendors for free for promotional consideration. Starr Jones ain't the only one doing shit on the hook up.

SCNDLS said:

HotGritz said:

As if sweet 16 parties weren't competitive enough.

I blame a lot of this shit on reality tv shows to be honest. Folks see how these folks party and wanna emulate the lifestyle. What they don't know is that MOST of the shit on these shows is provided by vendors for free for promotional consideration. Starr Jones ain't the only one doing shit on the hook up.

THANK YOU! Why can't people figure that shit out?

HotGritz said:

SCNDLS said:

I blame a lot of this shit on reality tv shows to be honest. Folks see how these folks party and wanna emulate the lifestyle. What they don't know is that MOST of the shit on these shows is provided by vendors for free for promotional consideration. Starr Jones ain't the only one doing shit on the hook up.

THANK YOU! Why can't people figure that shit out?

Remember when Sheree was planning that party and wanted to arrive in a Maybach covered in Tiffany diamonds. Them free party planners were looking at her like "Bitch, please!"

SCNDLS said:

HotGritz said:

THANK YOU! Why can't people figure that shit out?

Remember when Sheree was planning that party and wanted to arrive in a Maybach covered in Tiffany diamonds. Them free party planners were looking at her like "Bitch, please!"

HHHAAAA!!!!! I remember. Dude in the hat had this look on his face like "this bitch think she poppin'!" Sheree was serious too. She didn't stutter. Got to give it to ole girl...she love her some "free" and "on the house!"

She only turns 40 once, but you'll be a witch forever!

JUST KIDDING!

Don't feel guilty. You owe nobody nothing

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

She only turns 40 once, but you'll be a witch forever!

JUST KIDDING!

Don't feel guilty. You owe nobody nothing

SCNDLS said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

She only turns 40 once, but you'll be a witch forever!

JUST KIDDING!

Don't feel guilty. You owe nobody nothing

You love being a witch. So do I

Just remember, turn off your phone and check no emails til it's over!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

SCNDLS said:

You love being a witch. So do I

Just remember, turn off your phone and check no emails til it's over!

Usually sure, but this time I tried to be nice about not going but everyone around me won't let the shit go. So now I gotta go underground

People with no class kill me tryna be bourgie,

Either you're a guest at a bday party or a patron at a fund-raiser...she should pick one.

To me this whole thing seems pretentious and in poor taste. My granny used to call it "puttin' on airs". I wouldn't go nor would I feel the slightest bit bad about it.

SCNDLS said:

PurpleJedi said:

"Where to next, Miss Daisy?"

You's a FOOL!

Gurl, you betta catch that ride...he got good hairruh!

Hey gurl!!!! No you not wrong for politely declining. Just got a question, is the b-day girl fixing to audition for her spot on The Real Housewives of Dallas????

I went through a similar situation that you going through where I declined being a hostess in a wedding of a fairweather friend I had known since 2nd grade. Now mind you, I declined only participating in her wedding as a HOSTESS, but I still planned on supporting her by attending the wedding. You would think that this would be a MINOR situation right? Just replace my spot with somebody else, should be that simple right? Wrong. Well this heffa apparently was upset that I declined her "precious" invitation and didn't invite me to the wedding nor was I invited to her bridal shower. And what tops it all is that she didn't even bother to tell me that she had a problem! My other friends who chose to accept her hostess and bridesmaid invitations told me I was being silly, said I was acting like I was "too good" to be a hostess all kinds of stupid, ignorant shit just because I chose not to be a hostess in this broad's wedding. They were telling me "she was trying to include you but apparently you don't want to be included so that's why you didn't get an invite to the wedding". Oh really bitchez? So you know what I did? I cut all them bitches off! A great big old I've been great ever since, should had cut them broads off a lot sooner. It's always laughable how some women get brand new when they getting married.

Now back to you...no I wouldn't feel bad at all for declining. But her constantly asking you if you going knowing that you have already declined her invitation is tacky...further more, if you doing it up with limo's and a cash bar, why she sending out invitations electronically? Umm no ma'am. The traditional invitations with the velvet lining would have sufficed, thank you. To be honest, I don't think I would have dished out that much cash for a close friend. That's just me. If I'm paying for my ride and my drinks then I expect to receive a damn gift for even showing up.

[Edited 7/6/11 18:27pm]

babynoz said:

People with no class kill me tryna be bourgie,

Either you're a guest at a bday party or a patron at a fund-raiser...she should pick one.

To me this whole thing seems pretentious and in poor taste. My granny used to call it "puttin' on airs". I wouldn't go nor would I feel the slightest bit bad about it.

See?! You know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Who you trynna impress???

babynoz said:

SCNDLS said:

You's a FOOL!

Gurl, you betta catch that ride...he got good hairruh!

And our kids would come out caramel colored too!

missfee said:

Hey gurl!!!! No you not wrong for politely declining. Just got a question, is the b-day girl fixing to audition for her spot on The Real Housewives of Dallas????

I went through a similar situation that you going through where I declined being a hostess in a wedding of a fairweather friend I had known since 2nd grade. Now mind you, I declined only participating in her wedding as a HOSTESS, but I still planned on supporting her by attending the wedding. You would think that this would be a MINOR situation right? Just replace my spot with somebody else, should be that simple right? Wrong. Well this heffa apparently was upset that I declined her "precious" invitation and didn't invite me to the wedding nor was I invited to her bridal shower. And what tops it all is that she didn't even bother to tell me that she had a problem! My other friends who chose to accept her hostess and bridesmaid invitations told me I was being silly, said I was acting like I was "too good" to be a hostess all kinds of stupid, ignorant shit just because I chose not to be a hostess in this broad's wedding. They were telling me "she was trying to include you but apparently you don't want to be included so that's why you didn't get an invite to the wedding". Oh really bitchez? So you know what I did? I cut all them bitches off! A great big old I've been great ever since, should had cut them broads off a lot sooner. It's always laughable how some women get brand new when they getting married.

Now back to you...no I wouldn't feel bad at all for declining. But her constantly asking you if you going knowing that you have already declined her invitation is tacky...further more, if you doing it up with limo's and a cash bar, why she sending out invitations electronically? Umm no ma'am. The traditional invitations with the velvet lining would have sufficed, thank you. To be honest, I don't think I would have dished out that much cash for a close friend. That's just me. If I'm paying for my ride and my drinks then I expect to receive a damn gift for even showing up.

[Edited 7/6/11 18:27pm]

I done told you MOST these chickenheads lose they gotdamn minds when nuptials are involved.

So basically you saying I need to pull a Housewives of Miami and tell these hoes they oughta pay me to attend cuz a party ain't a party til I run thru . . .

SCNDLS said:

babynoz said:

Gurl, you betta catch that ride...he got good hairruh!

And our kids would come out caramel colored too!

So who wants to start practicing makin' dem caramel-colored, good-hair havin' babies?

PurpleJedi said:

SCNDLS said:

And our kids would come out caramel colored too!

So who wants to start practicing makin' dem caramel-colored, good-hair havin' babies?

SCNDLS said:

missfee said:

Hey gurl!!!! No you not wrong for politely declining. Just got a question, is the b-day girl fixing to audition for her spot on The Real Housewives of Dallas????

I went through a similar situation that you going through where I declined being a hostess in a wedding of a fairweather friend I had known since 2nd grade. Now mind you, I declined only participating in her wedding as a HOSTESS, but I still planned on supporting her by attending the wedding. You would think that this would be a MINOR situation right? Just replace my spot with somebody else, should be that simple right? Wrong. Well this heffa apparently was upset that I declined her "precious" invitation and didn't invite me to the wedding nor was I invited to her bridal shower. And what tops it all is that she didn't even bother to tell me that she had a problem! My other friends who chose to accept her hostess and bridesmaid invitations told me I was being silly, said I was acting like I was "too good" to be a hostess all kinds of stupid, ignorant shit just because I chose not to be a hostess in this broad's wedding. They were telling me "she was trying to include you but apparently you don't want to be included so that's why you didn't get an invite to the wedding". Oh really bitchez? So you know what I did? I cut all them bitches off! A great big old I've been great ever since, should had cut them broads off a lot sooner. It's always laughable how some women get brand new when they getting married.

Now back to you...no I wouldn't feel bad at all for declining. But her constantly asking you if you going knowing that you have already declined her invitation is tacky...further more, if you doing it up with limo's and a cash bar, why she sending out invitations electronically? Umm no ma'am. The traditional invitations with the velvet lining would have sufficed, thank you. To be honest, I don't think I would have dished out that much cash for a close friend. That's just me. If I'm paying for my ride and my drinks then I expect to receive a damn gift for even showing up.

[Edited 7/6/11 18:27pm]

I done told you MOST these chickenheads lose they gotdamn minds when nuptials are involved.

So basically you saying I need to pull a Housewives of Miami and tell these hoes they oughta pay me to attend cuz a party ain't a party til I run thru . . .

That's EXACTLY what I'm saying.

missfee said:

SCNDLS said:

I done told you MOST these chickenheads lose they gotdamn minds when nuptials are involved.

So basically you saying I need to pull a Housewives of Miami and tell these hoes they oughta pay me to attend cuz a party ain't a party til I run thru . . .

That's EXACTLY what I'm saying.

I got yet ANOTHER birthday mini-drama.

I'm invited to a bday party for a girlfriend and her husband whose bdays are the same day. On the invitation she asks that all guests wear white. I don't own a SINGLE all white dress. Now, black and white I got plenty of. So I had already decided I was gonna wear black and white cuz it shouldn't be a big deal right?

Today I get a call from the birthday girl and she says something like "My aunt said she's wearing black so I told her to keep her ass at home."

So I say "Well, uh, I don't own anything white and was planning to wear b&w."

I get a big ass silent pause and then "Well, I've always wanted to have an all-white party and I want everyone to wear white."

So I explain to her that I don't own anything white and that I can stay home if she's gonna be checking folks at the door. She begrudgingly laughs off my comment but I can tell she's SERIOUSLY bothered about me wearing B&W. Really, WTF??? What's with all the fucking hoop jumping for adults' parties lately???

Should I just keep my ass at home or go wearing black and white and some RED shoes???

[Edited 7/19/11 13:19pm]

SCNDLS said:

I got yet ANOTHER birthday mini-drama.

I'm invited to a bday party for a girlfriend and her husband whose bdays are the same day. On the invitation she asks that all guests wear white. I don't own a SINGLE all white dress. Now, black and white I got plenty of. So I had already decided I was gonna wear black and white cuz it shouldn't be a big deal right?

Today I get a call from the birthday girl and she says something like "My aunt said she's wearing black so I told her to keep her ass at home."

So I say "Well, uh, I don't own anything white and was planning to wear b&w."

I get a big ass silent pause and then "Well, I've always wanted to have an all-white party and I want everyone to wear white."

So I explain to her that I don't own anything white and that I can stay home if she's gonna be checking folks at the door. She begrudgingly laughs off my comment but I can tell she's SERIOUSLY bothered about me wearing B&W. Really, WTF??? What's with all the fucking hoop jumping for adults' parties lately???

Should I just keep my ass at home or go wearing black and white and some RED shoes???

[Edited 7/19/11 13:19pm]

I get so sick and tired of these folks trying to copy celebrities when they throw parties. Is she trying to copy Diddy's All White Affair that's usually held in the Hamptons? Lawd. Common folk can be really comical sometimes. People be trying to do that simple mess here in VA at the clubs and there's almost always a few people who come in acting like they didn't get the memo, and DARE you to say something to them about it. Maybe that's why shit always get shut down here because of the fights. Good thing I don't party here. I know that was an insensitive knock to my hometown, ahh oh well.

Well how good is this friend? Are you two close? Is she worth you going out and purchasing something all white? Sounds to me it's like it's a "dream come true" to have this "all white" party with everyone wearing uninterrupted white to her. Was this specified on the invite? If so, then I guess it's been made clear that one MUST wear all white and nothing more. And yes if she's rolling it like that (with her aunt) then she just might have peeps at the door checking to be sure that all guests let in are wearing uninterrupted white.

But what is up with these "All White" or "All Black" parties? Are there "All Orange", "All Aqua" and "All Purple" parties too?

[Edited 7/20/11 4:47am]

SCNDLS said:

I got yet ANOTHER birthday mini-drama.

I'm invited to a bday party for a girlfriend and her husband whose bdays are the same day. On the invitation she asks that all guests wear white. I don't own a SINGLE all white dress. Now, black and white I got plenty of. So I had already decided I was gonna wear black and white cuz it shouldn't be a big deal right?

Today I get a call from the birthday girl and she says something like "My aunt said she's wearing black so I told her to keep her ass at home."

So I say "Well, uh, I don't own anything white and was planning to wear b&w."

I get a big ass silent pause and then "Well, I've always wanted to have an all-white party and I want everyone to wear white."

So I explain to her that I don't own anything white and that I can stay home if she's gonna be checking folks at the door. She begrudgingly laughs off my comment but I can tell she's SERIOUSLY bothered about me wearing B&W. Really, WTF??? What's with all the fucking hoop jumping for adults' parties lately???

Should I just keep my ass at home or go wearing black and white and some RED shoes???

How much you wanna bet alot of people show up in other colors also?

What's she gonna do? Turn everyone back at the door???

PurpleJedi said:

SCNDLS said:

I got yet ANOTHER birthday mini-drama.

I'm invited to a bday party for a girlfriend and her husband whose bdays are the same day. On the invitation she asks that all guests wear white. I don't own a SINGLE all white dress. Now, black and white I got plenty of. So I had already decided I was gonna wear black and white cuz it shouldn't be a big deal right?

Today I get a call from the birthday girl and she says something like "My aunt said she's wearing black so I told her to keep her ass at home."

So I say "Well, uh, I don't own anything white and was planning to wear b&w."

I get a big ass silent pause and then "Well, I've always wanted to have an all-white party and I want everyone to wear white."

So I explain to her that I don't own anything white and that I can stay home if she's gonna be checking folks at the door. She begrudgingly laughs off my comment but I can tell she's SERIOUSLY bothered about me wearing B&W. Really, WTF??? What's with all the fucking hoop jumping for adults' parties lately???

Should I just keep my ass at home or go wearing black and white and some RED shoes???

How much you wanna bet alot of people show up in other colors also?

What's she gonna do? Turn everyone back at the door???

If the "all white" thing is that important to her, and it sounds like it is, then yeah I think she will.

missfee said:

SCNDLS said:

I got yet ANOTHER birthday mini-drama.

I'm invited to a bday party for a girlfriend and her husband whose bdays are the same day. On the invitation she asks that all guests wear white. I don't own a SINGLE all white dress. Now, black and white I got plenty of. So I had already decided I was gonna wear black and white cuz it shouldn't be a big deal right?

Today I get a call from the birthday girl and she says something like "My aunt said she's wearing black so I told her to keep her ass at home."

So I say "Well, uh, I don't own anything white and was planning to wear b&w."

I get a big ass silent pause and then "Well, I've always wanted to have an all-white party and I want everyone to wear white."

So I explain to her that I don't own anything white and that I can stay home if she's gonna be checking folks at the door. She begrudgingly laughs off my comment but I can tell she's SERIOUSLY bothered about me wearing B&W. Really, WTF??? What's with all the fucking hoop jumping for adults' parties lately???

Should I just keep my ass at home or go wearing black and white and some RED shoes???

[Edited 7/19/11 13:19pm]

I get so sick and tired of these folks trying to copy celebrities when they throw parties. Is she trying to copy Diddy's All White Affair that's usually held in the Hamptons? Lawd. Common folk can be really comical sometimes. People be trying to do that simple mess here in VA at the clubs and there's almost always a few people who come in acting like they didn't get the memo, and DARE you to say something to them about it. Maybe that's why shit always get shut down here because of the fights. Good thing I don't party here. I know that was an insensitive knock to my hometown, ahh oh well.

Well how good is this friend? Are you two close? Is she worth you going out and purchasing something all white? Sounds to me it's like it's a "dream come true" to have this "all white" party with everyone wearing uninterrupted white to her. Was this specified on the invite? If so, then I guess it's been made clear that one MUST wear all white and nothing more. And yes if she's rolling it like that (with her aunt) then she just might have peeps at the door checking to be sure that all guests let in are wearing uninterrupted white.

But what is up with these "All White" or "All Black" parties? Are there "All Orange", "All Aqua" and "All Purple" parties too?

[Edited 7/20/11 4:47am]

Now I've had an all black party but who doesn't wear black when they go to a club anyway? And even then everyone didn't wear black and it wasn't a big deal to me. I've seen pink and purple parties but usually you're good if you wear something that has the color in it.

Me and ol girl go back to college but I STILL don't want to buy anything special to wear. I think I'll send her a text with my regrets cuz it's not that serious.