An ex-boyfriend called and arranged to hang out with me last week some 10 years after we split.

During the course of our conversation he delcared the issue that broke us up was sabbotage, someone else (female) spitting false information (she knew we were dating) which ultimately reached me and resulted in my ending the relationship with him. I will say she was persistent and very convincing verbally and in writing.

I know this can happen but honestly, after 10 years?.....I've moved on but now, he seriously wants to get back together! (Which is kind of flattering....in a way.)

Question(s):

a. do you believe (not knowing all the details) he (or someone in similar situation) is telling the truth about the circumstances of the breakup? (I'm skeptical because I wonder why this is coming up now and not 2-5-10-years ago.)

b. do you ever go back on a failed relationship?; is it wise or a stupid move?

c. would you consider getting back together with someone under these (similar) circumstances?

I think stuff like this is why women press guys for closure--

Now I've got to decide, give him another chance or not. We've been friends of the years (whenever we've bumped into each other at a party or function, etc., but never had a lengthy conversation for 10 years).

I don't usually ask this kind of question, but I'm curious what others think, especially the Orgmales.

Without knowing any other details, I think it's bullshit.

It's pretty common for dudes to come around looking for sex from when they are in between relationships....yes, even 10 years later and they'll dress it up in any way they think will convince you to "try again" just to get some good stuff.

Personally, I wouldn't consider getting back with them in terms of a serious relationship but if I was still physically attracted to them....fuck, I'd use them for sex as well.

I went back with one ex in particular many times. It never worked out. We're friends even now but whenever he talks about "us" I just roll my eyes.

JustErin said:

Without knowing any other details, I think it's bullshit.

It's pretty common for dudes to come around looking for sex from when they are in between relationships....yes, even 10 years later and they'll dress it up in any way they think will convince you to "try again" just to get some good stuff.

Personally, I wouldn't consider getting back with them in terms of a serious relationship but if I was still physically attracted to them....fuck, I'd use them for sex as well.

I went back with one ex in particular many times. It never worked out. We're friends even now but whenever he talks about "us" I just roll my eyes.

yeah, I can't help but think its b.s. but I also know the girl who did the sabbotage and she was capable of doing it at the time...that's the only reason I'm even contemplating the issue; I cant remember a time when I've gone backwards in a dating situation. What's funny is my experience has been that guys usually try to get back one year (almost to the day) after break up.....never fails! ten years is, well, unusual.

I appreciate your suggestion of using him just for pleasure, but I'd have to think about that--

how do u honestly feel about him? (p.s. i think it totally sucks when bitches invest their time sabotaging other people's relationships. i've had that happen to me. there some evil people out there...)

run far! run fast!

It's difficult to say without all the details.

Ten years is a HELL of a long time.

Maybe he's desperate, or maybe he's had time to stew and realize JUST how much he really misses you.

Play it safe, take things slow, and use your head.

thisisit said:

how do u honestly feel about him? (p.s. i think it totally sucks when bitches invest their time sabotaging other people's relationships. i've had that happen to me. there some evil people out there...)

I have to think about the how do I honestly feel about him part but I will take it under consideration. He's not a slug by any means....but....

I agree about the evil people part, life's too short and besides, who wants someone that already has someone else? Not my style at all--I don't get it--in a situation like that, i'll just step out of the way 'cause I know there will come a day (just like now) when he'll try to come running back! Problem is you just never know who may have been the catalyst, him or her.

XxAxX said:

run far! run fast!

do tell, what are your instincts (or experience) telling you?

Never go backwards only 4wards!!!!!

PurpleJedi said:

It's difficult to say without all the details.

Ten years is a HELL of a long time.

Maybe he's desperate, or maybe he's had time to stew and realize JUST how much he really misses you.

Play it safe, take things slow, and use your head.

I'm hearing you, maybe I left the part out where he says he wants to get married--pretty much skip the dating part....

davetherave6767 said:

Never go backwards only 4wards!!!!!

I tend to belive in ^ that type of mindset. But you never no...maybe I was a bit to hasty the first time?

sweething said:

davetherave6767 said:

Never go backwards only 4wards!!!!!

I tend to belive in ^ that type of mindset. But you never no...maybe I was a bit to hasty the first time?

Whats done is done Sweething......look 4wards 2 ur future!!!!

i think u should use him 4 sex & if he gets u coming like thunder take him back!!!

DoffieParker said:

i think u should use him 4 sex & if he gets u coming like thunder take him back!!!

Doffie u r the female davetherave..............

davetherave6767 said:

DoffieParker said:

i think u should use him 4 sex & if he gets u coming like thunder take him back!!!

Doffie u r the female davetherave..............

davetherave6767 said:

DoffieParker said:

i think u should use him 4 sex & if he gets u coming like thunder take him back!!!

Doffie u r the female davetherave..............

i know from experience this is the right thing to do!.. make him prove his worth!

sweething said:

PurpleJedi said:

It's difficult to say without all the details.

Ten years is a HELL of a long time.

Maybe he's desperate, or maybe he's had time to stew and realize JUST how much he really misses you.

Play it safe, take things slow, and use your head.

I'm hearing you, maybe I left the part out where he says he wants to get married--pretty much skip the dating part....

Uhm...then I guess you should ...RUN!!!

PurpleJedi said:

sweething said:

I'm hearing you, maybe I left the part out where he says he wants to get married--pretty much skip the dating part....

Uhm...then I guess you should ...RUN!!!

That WAS my first thought....but you know, he's not a bad guy -- it just scares me to no end....

he sounds like a drama queen...

i think i will open up a bag of Doritos put a massive hand full in a plate and grate some tasty cheese over it and microwave for 1 minute....

and when i get back i will read about him again and reconfirm why i would never go back to an ex.... they r ex's for good reason

physco185 said:

he sounds like a drama queen...

i think i will open up a bag of Doritos put a massive hand full in a plate and grate some tasty cheese over it and microwave for 1 minute....

and when i get back i will read about him again and reconfirm why i would never go back to an ex.... they r ex's for good reason

It just ocurred to me that if I'm having to think this hard on it, my instincts are telling me nooooooo. I'm going to stay cool, see what he does and confirm what I already know.

Thanks everyone for helping me think this through!