It's better that there are two authority figures in the family. It's possible, for example, that a grandparent sometimes takes the role of the "father" in that sense. Children will need to learn that they cannot rely on one person alone and they will also learn a lot by observing the way the two "authority figures" will have conflicts together from time to time.

Having said that, I agree with several .orgers here that a bad parent does more damage than the absence of that parent.

I think I'm myself a rather stereotypical case of someone that was brought up with no father around. To say that I have trouble recognizing authority on a larger social scale would be an understatement - but I still call my mother when making big decisions and asking her to "validate" my choices (I'm nearly 32).

Of course - Without fathers, who would most women fleece for child support?

Of course they're needed. After a nice convo with my daughter this weekend there is no doubt in my mind that they are needed. Children need that 2nd person, whether that person is perfect or not is irrelavant, children notice the void, and it affects them to some degree whether they come out okay or not, a part of who they are is missing they feel the hole. And since they're not puppies or weeds, it impacts to their overall wellbeing knowing that person didn't want to be a part of their life.

[Edited 5/10/11 12:19pm]

PurpleJedi said:

HotGritz said:

Where are the org daddies when you need them?

Right here babe!

YES, we are needed. YES, we should be an integral part of our children's lives. YES we should care.

You can't lump all men in the same pot. Some of us have strong fatherly instincts, and some don't. Some of us want to experience life in the company of the children which we helped to bring forth to this world and help change the diapers and help feed them and help teach them to walk/catch/swim, and help discipline them...while some of us are just good at spreading semen.

A strong single mother, same as a strong single father, can be more than capable of raising a child alone. But it is not an ideal situation. Life is hard enough. Even now that my kids are older (9, 11 & almost 13), I dread the coming change and becoming a part-time father. How it's going to affect them and how they're going to transition from seeing me every day to once a week and every other weekend. When I'm not here to help with the homework or the science fair projects or the "talks". I mean, sure they are well-adjusted, smart, happy kids so I'm confident that everything will be fine...but the truth of the matter is that only time will tell.

But I know for a fact that I helped make them the strong creatures that they are, and that YES, I WAS, AM and WILL BE very much needed.

But damn, only once a week and every other weekend? How did that happen?

RodeoSchro said:

HotGritz said:

Ok so I'm checking my voice mail and I get a rant from a girlfriend who is having baby daddy issues yet again. I've learned over the years to listen and not offer up any advice as she will not leave this man no matter what I or anyone else advises.

Her rant is the usual "he's no good, doesn't see his kids enough, I'm doing it all by myself, I don't deserve this shit" type stuff. I've heard this from too many women.

So...I ask you orgers...in your honest opinion....are fathers needed? Most women I know are raising kids by themselves whether they are married or not. Women are the primary caregivers, they play both mom and dad, attend all the kiddie events and in some cases they bear most of the financial burden.

In the animal kingdom...most animals are raised by the mothers. I believe fathers are important but I question if they are really needed. Vaccinations are important but they may not be needed.

What say you?

I have highlighted the problem.

Any time the word "daddy" or "mommy" has to be prefaced by the word "baby", it's obvious the parents were not serious about what they were getting into and thought having a kid was a big joke.

What kid deserves that? None.

Well in all fairness, that's what I call him. She calls him by his name or refers to him as "that douche."

But yes, I think he bit off more than he could chew with my friend. She's an alpha female and such women should only ever mate with alpha males.

i know some fathers that r better parents than the mums!!!

so yes they r needed!!!

although there is a need for good parents in this world..... sometimes i just wonder

Im sure this has already been said but Im too fucking lazy to read through all the bs and what not so here is my 2 cents... Parents are needed to raise children , even grandparents. But wtf do I know , my sons' father has always been in their lives and will ALWAYS be in their lives.

Yup.

BklynBabe said:

A good man is a wonderful example for a child! These days, just to show that they do exist..... I love seeing someone like Barack Obama with his kids! Charlie Sheen? Not so much....

HotGritz said:

RodeoSchro said:

I have highlighted the problem.

Any time the word "daddy" or "mommy" has to be prefaced by the word "baby", it's obvious the parents were not serious about what they were getting into and thought having a kid was a big joke.

What kid deserves that? None.

Well in all fairness, that's what I call him. She calls him by his name or refers to him as "that douche."

But yes, I think he bit off more than he could chew with my friend. She's an alpha female and such women should only ever mate with alpha males.

Yeah, that's what I mean. The term "baby daddy/momma" implies a lack of seriousness or commitment, and certainly a lack of maturity. It's like having the child was a joke.

Except for the child, it's no joke.

If they want to act adult about the matter, they should refer to the child's parents as "father" and "mother". If a dude thinks of himself as a "baby daddy", he's fooling himself and probably hopes this will all go away.

But if he's called "father" every time he's referred to, he should get the message. This is the real deal.

RodeoSchro said:

HotGritz said:

Well in all fairness, that's what I call him. She calls him by his name or refers to him as "that douche."

But yes, I think he bit off more than he could chew with my friend. She's an alpha female and such women should only ever mate with alpha males.

Yeah, that's what I mean. The term "baby daddy/momma" implies a lack of seriousness or commitment, and certainly a lack of maturity. It's like having the child was a joke.

Except for the child, it's no joke.

If they want to act adult about the matter, they should refer to the child's parents as "father" and "mother". If a dude thinks of himself as a "baby daddy", he's fooling himself and probably hopes this will all go away.

But if he's called "father" every time he's referred to, he should get the message. This is the real deal.

Yes, fathers are needed. Children need a mother and a father to be raised properly. However, every situation is different. After a child is born, a couple finds out that they are not compatible, do not love one another, e.t.c. Then it is too late. That is why people should not have kids on a whim. Children need responsible parents, alot of attention, love, e.t.c. If a child does not have a father in his or her life, then another male family member should be involved in the child's life. Children, especially boys, need positive male figures in their lives.

[Edited 5/11/11 10:46am]

I believe that there should be someone in the "mothering role" and someone in the "fathering role." Now, 1 person can fulfill both duties, and a man can do the "mothering" and the woman the "fathering."

=0P

I think now there should be a thread called "Are Mothers Needed?". Can a single father raise his child/children on his own?

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I think now there should be a thread called "Are Mothers Needed?". Can a single father raise his child/children on his own?

It's only fair, really.

I've known several single fathers that are the better parent.

We don't want people to think all you men are douches.

I mean there has GOT to be a few good ones. Right?

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I think now there should be a thread called "Are Mothers Needed?". Can a single father raise his child/children on his own?

if that single father is bob saget, he can

why, just look at little ashley and mary kate! aren't both of them are successful young women in their own right?

XxAxX said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I think now there should be a thread called "Are Mothers Needed?". Can a single father raise his child/children on his own?

if that single father is bob saget, he can

why, just look at little ashley and mary kate! aren't both of them are successful young women in their own right?

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I think now there should be a thread called "Are Mothers Needed?". Can a single father raise his child/children on his own?

Of course.

Sometimes I think maybe it would've been cool to have my dad around.

Both parents are really needed, yeah.

Can kids get by without them? Yeah, but there's no way that that's the optimum situation. If in anyway possible, kids need their mom AND their dad there, present with them.

What is needed is Parents who are responsible, Mother and Father. Sadly this isn't always possible and all that truly matters is how you raise your child.

Whats the point of having both parents if they just sit on their ass feeding you Microwave meals and smoking pot all night? Using the TV as a babysitter while they get drunk in the back room etc

A child needs love and guidance through their life and it doesn't matter which parent is there to give it. Though, if both parents are there then that is obviously better as I think Mum and Dad often create a balance as well within the home.

On a personal note, My Dad died when I was 3 years old, I don't have any recollection of him but I do miss him, or at least I missed having the Father figure there in my life, having that Bond that all children should have with their Fathers.

My Son is 6 years old now and I cherish every moment I can with him, we have a lot of "Dad + Son" time, where its just us and we do all kinds of stuff, whether its watch TV, play the Xbox or read books, hell we even play with Toys and have a little train set too lol.

I love being a Dad and I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world, it is the best thing that ever happened in my Life and on my Death bed, I hope that my last thoughts are the day I first held my Son in the hospital, the first time he smiled, his first steps, the sound of his laughter and all the other memories I will have of him. Then I will die a happy man.

So I think it is equally important for a Child to have a Mum and Dad present, though not essential.

itsnotallover said:

What is needed is Parents who are responsible, Mother and Father. Sadly this isn't always possible and all that truly matters is how you raise your child.

Whats the point of having both parents if they just sit on their ass feeding you Microwave meals and smoking pot all night? Using the TV as a babysitter while they get drunk in the back room etc

A child needs love and guidance through their life and it doesn't matter which parent is there to give it. Though, if both parents are there then that is obviously better as I think Mum and Dad often create a balance as well within the home.

On a personal note, My Dad died when I was 3 years old, I don't have any recollection of him but I do miss him, or at least I missed having the Father figure there in my life, having that Bond that all children should have with their Fathers.

My Son is 6 years old now and I cherish every moment I can with him, we have a lot of "Dad + Son" time, where its just us and we do all kinds of stuff, whether its watch TV, play the Xbox or read books, hell we even play with Toys and have a little train set too lol.

I love being a Dad and I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world, it is the best thing that ever happened in my Life and on my Death bed, I hope that my last thoughts are the day I first held my Son in the hospital, the first time he smiled, his first steps, the sound of his laughter and all the other memories I will have of him. Then I will die a happy man.

So I think it is equally important for a Child to have a Mum and Dad present, though not essential.

ZombieKitten said:

Involved father is 100% better than a useless one

and I dare say single parent is better than the tension, anger, resentment and frustration within a family where the father shirks his responsibilities leaving the mother to do it ALL

Agreed....if the parents are not getting along, it's better to separate and be happy than be miserable together..

That said, fathers are absolutely needed when they are doing a good job and have their child's best interest at heart.

[Edited 5/12/11 10:01am]

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I think now there should be a thread called "Are Mothers Needed?". Can a single father raise his child/children on his own?

Yes. My dad took on the challenge, when I was an infant, in a time when it was virtually unheard of, a black man at that. His point of reference was The Courtship of Eddie Father, we watched that show a lot. He had help of course since he was in the Navy and had to go to WesPac and all of that, but he was highly involved in every part of my life, then had a very hard-headed 11 year old girl on his hands when he retired. Poor guy. To think now of all the things he had to do to try to give me as good a life as he could with all the challenges he faced, it blows me away sometimes, especially when you see how easily people give up when things get hard.