ZombieKitten said:

I'm sorry to hear it

I know everyone will jump on me and say you need time to work through your issues, but my motto was always "nothing like a new love to get over an old one" I've always done it that way!

I'm married to a rebound guy

you're actually right , This is very true.....

paintedlady said:

Tremolina said:

Well then, be prepared to get your heart broken again and again and again.

Time heals the wounds, but then you have to cut off all contact.

so true.. I made the same mistake myself and I hated myself for it after.

Understandable, but no need to do that. It's not unnatural to go back to the one you love, or believe you love, even if it will only hurt you more. Actually, it's pretty normal.

But it won't make you feel better.

seeingvoices12 said:

ZombieKitten said:

I'm sorry to hear it

I know everyone will jump on me and say you need time to work through your issues, but my motto was always "nothing like a new love to get over an old one" I've always done it that way!

I'm married to a rebound guy

you're actually right , This is very true.....

No it's not. A "new one" will only make you think less about the "old one". If the relationship has just ended, or if there is still contact with the "old one", the new won't heal the pain.

You HAVE to cut off contact and let time do its job.

virginie74 said:

He still wants to see me.

DON'T DO IT! He's just trying to hang on and keep you in limbo, and I bet you, just bet you, he'll do a "booty-call." Please, please, don't sleep with him again. I know you'll want to and you might try to rationalize why you should, but believe me, you will regret it when he moves on and gets a new lady and leaves you hanging again. Respect yourself, and he will, too.

Tremolina said:

Tremolina said:

seeingvoices12 said:

you're actually right , This is very true.....

No it's not. A "new one" will only make you think less about the "old one". If the relationship has just ended, or if there is still contact with the "old one", the new won't heal the pain.

You HAVE to cut off contact and let time do its job.

I can see, Time is the healer with everything , BUT New REAL love can help to destroy the old love , you don't instantly find a new love , you need time , it takes time , but it does help, I speak from an experience....

Shyra said:

virginie74 said:

He still wants to see me.

DON'T DO IT! He's just trying to hang on and keep you in limbo, and I bet you, just bet you, he'll do a "booty-call." Please, please, don't sleep with him again. I know you'll want to and you might try to rationalize why you should, but believe me, you will regret it when he moves on and gets a new lady and leaves you hanging again. Respect yourself, and he will, too.

Exactly. If a guy wants to "see you" after a break-up, it's strictly for sex. He really doesn't give a crap about you.

Tremolina said:

kitbradley said:

Shyra said:

DON'T DO IT! He's just trying to hang on and keep you in limbo, and I bet you, just bet you, he'll do a "booty-call." Please, please, don't sleep with him again. I know you'll want to and you might try to rationalize why you should, but believe me, you will regret it when he moves on and gets a new lady and leaves you hanging again. Respect yourself, and he will, too.

Exactly. If a guy wants to "see you" after a break-up, it's strictly for sex. He really doesn't give a crap about you.

We still see each other but there is no sex involved. Nothing but a kiss on the cheek.

Actually I'm the one who broke up because he wasn't free. Yes he had his chance, yes he lost me, yes he wouldn't choose. I chose for both of us. But still, I didn't find *yet* a better lover nor a better ear nor shoulder.

He respects me. Actually we're going to same parties and we both have common friends. It takes it more difficult to decide not to see him *ever* again. It would mean I completely cut myself from people I like and parties I like to go to.

I met more handsome guys. I thought about coming to these parties with one of them just to hurt his feelings and see his reaction.

But hey, that's quite childish. So I didn't.

Oh and thanks a lot for your support.

All of you.

But keep on posting !

I just repeat myself. What helped me to get over ex and heal my soul, is reading Robin Norwood:

Women who love too much.

Than I realized, the reading wasn't enough. I went to a Norwood group. Truly the best decision I ever made in my life

Wish you well

dJJ said:

I just repeat myself. What helped me to get over ex and heal my soul, is reading Robin Norwood:

Women who love too much.

Than I realized, the reading wasn't enough. I went to a Norwood group. Truly the best decision I ever made in my life

Wish you well

Thank you, I will look for it in french.

Tremolina said:

seeingvoices12 said:

you're actually right , This is very true.....

No it's not. A "new one" will only make you think less about the "old one". If the relationship has just ended, or if there is still contact with the "old one", the new won't heal the pain.

You HAVE to cut off contact and let time do its job.

It's been 8 months. Virginie needs to stop seeing the old one, cut it off and move forward

I've cut off the contact with exes and done exactly that, and always seemed to find a new distraction that may or may not develop into something more.

Truth be told I've really only ever had one very bad break up, we'd been together 5 years, but the year we broke up I was having a summertime fling with my housemate and later on met my husband. I didn't keep in contact with either ex once I met my husband, at least not until years later and I didn't feel anything for them anymore.

seeingvoices12 said:

ZombieKitten said:

I'm sorry to hear it

I know everyone will jump on me and say you need time to work through your issues, but my motto was always "nothing like a new love to get over an old one" I've always done it that way!

I'm married to a rebound guy

you're actually right , This is very true.....

My mum told me that it probably doesn't work for everyone, for me it does

ZombieKitten said:

seeingvoices12 said:

you're actually right , This is very true.....

My mum told me that it probably doesn't work for everyone, for me it does

You were lucky with your rebound guy.

Not every comfort prince is relationship material. That's not their job.

dJJ said:

ZombieKitten said:

My mum told me that it probably doesn't work for everyone, for me it does

You were lucky with your rebound guy.

Not every comfort prince is relationship material. That's not their job.

comfortprince.org - get your rebound guys here folks!

ZombieKitten said:

dJJ said:

You were lucky with your rebound guy.

Not every comfort prince is relationship material. That's not their job.

comfortprince.org - get your rebound guys here folks!

Well, there a lot of divorcees around here. Huge overlap with the org addicted group.....

Wasn't there already somebody coupling orgers?

I might start to consider that

Whatever you decide, don't get addicted to your favourite star

Embrace the misery and eventually you'll start to feel better

you poor sweet thing,you must learn to make your heart stronger so that nobody can hurt you.terrytibbs only ever loved one woman my lovely wife she has never broke my heart but shes bruised it many times over 30 years but i love her dearly.

Been there and done that...

I listened and played a lot of music. And I stuck by my friends. I also wrote a lot of my feelings in my journal...nothing like the ever understanding pages of a diary to listen to your problems.

When you feel those thoughts creeping up on you, go for a walk at night. I know that always helps for me. It's calm and quiet out...no one around..everything's at peace in the darkness. And sometimes the moon's out...

Take some time to appreciate nature, and your heart will slowly heal...

virginie74 said:

Hey everyone

I've been in a relationship for 6 monthes and It's over for 8 monthes now.

Well, I'm still in love. Do anyone have tips to make me feel better ?

When I really suffer, I take a bath and go strollin'. I've tried other relationships but I can't get in, or I miss him so much I can't even breathe.

All I write lately is shit.

All I can draw is quite the same.

How long do thins can take to get over it ?

Thanks for your advises.

Virginie,

We are about the same age and I'm going through something very similar to you, so I can totally sympathize with how you feel! (We dated for 5 months, it's been over for 9 months.)

And I don't even know that there was anything that was so special about this guy that is making it so hard for me to get over! I almost wonder if it is just the age we are and being at a place in our lives where we are ready to just be with a decent person. Don't get me wrong, my ex and likely yours too have good qualities. I really identified with you when you said that it wasn't just good sex, but good listener and someone to lean on. That is exactly I feel, too!

The fact that I have to keep reminding myself about is that it didn't work out for whatever reason (my reason is different than yours). But in both of our situations, he had the opportunity to choose to make it work with you/me and didn't make that choice. That is the motivation to keep moving forward to find someone who will choose a relationship with you.

Don't see him. I know you run in the same social circles, so it is hard to completely avoid him, but at least don't see or talk to him one-on-one.

I have to see my ex once a month in work meetings. Plus we live 2 blocks from each other so we run into each other every now and then. It has made it so hard for me to move on, because everytime I look at him I just keep wanting him to be that perfect guy that I thought he was. But he isn't that guy. That guy would've wanted to be in a relationship with me.

Anyways - good luck with your recovery. I'm glad you started this thread, because all this great advice has been good for me, too. Gotta love the org!

I'm here for you if you want to comiserate together!

[Edited 5/9/11 12:47pm]

Listen to happy music! Like Prince, of course . Remember that Prince went through heart break too!

CallMeCarrie said:

virginie74 said:

Hey everyone

I've been in a relationship for 6 monthes and It's over for 8 monthes now.

Well, I'm still in love. Do anyone have tips to make me feel better ?

When I really suffer, I take a bath and go strollin'. I've tried other relationships but I can't get in, or I miss him so much I can't even breathe.

All I write lately is shit.

All I can draw is quite the same.

How long do thins can take to get over it ?

Thanks for your advises.

Virginie,

We are about the same age and I'm going through something very similar to you, so I can totally sympathize with how you feel! (We dated for 5 months, it's been over for 9 months.)

And I don't even know that there was anything that was so special about this guy that is making it so hard for me to get over! I almost wonder if it is just the age we are and being at a place in our lives where we are ready to just be with a decent person. Don't get me wrong, my ex and likely yours too have good qualities. I really identified with you when you said that it wasn't just good sex, but good listener and someone to lean on. That is exactly I feel, too!

The fact that I have to keep reminding myself about is that it didn't work out for whatever reason (my reason is different than yours). But in both of our situations, he had the opportunity to choose to make it work with you/me and didn't make that choice. That is the motivation to keep moving forward to find someone who will choose a relationship with you.

Don't see him. I know you run in the same social circles, so it is hard to completely avoid him, but at least don't see or talk to him one-on-one.

I have to see my ex once a month in work meetings. Plus we live 2 blocks from each other so we run into each other every now and then. It has made it so hard for me to move on, because everytime I look at him I just keep wanting him to be that perfect guy that I thought he was. But he isn't that guy. That guy would've wanted to be in a relationship with me.

Anyways - good luck with your recovery. I'm glad you started this thread, because all this great advice has been good for me, too. Gotta love the org!

I'm here for you if you want to comiserate together!

[Edited 5/9/11 12:47pm]

Hey Carrie.

Sorry to read your story, it looks very similar indeed.

orgnote whenever u want.

InternationalLover82 said:

Listen to happy music! Like Prince, of course . Remember that Prince went through heart break too!

He was a fan too. Listening to all the songs we heard together is quite a torture

Time is the only real healer. All these other advices are good and helpful to pass the time though.

whenever i had a broken watch

i took it to a watchmaker.

in these days the watchmaker is still there

with a different title, but he's still a watch maker.

if your heart is broke, take it to the maker.

if the only maker you're willin to reconize

is mommy, or daddy take it to them.

but just know, in the end, it will be the maker

that heals that heart.

call it whut you like...

KingBAD said:

whenever i had a broken watch

i took it to a watchmaker.

in these days the watchmaker is still there

with a different title, but he's still a watch maker.

if your heart is broke, take it to the maker.

if the only maker you're willin to reconize

is mommy, or daddy take it to them.

but just know, in the end, it will be the maker

that heals that heart.

call it whut you like...

Thx

Japha11 said:

Time is the only real healer. All these other advices are good and helpful to pass the time though.

Yeah. Things are goinbg better than some monthes ago already.

time heals ... mourn, cry do whatcha gotta do its ok to feel this way .. this to shall pass.