Ace said:

PurpleJedi said:

I have an interesting observation for all of you living in Western society;

In today's advanced world, where we want not for food, where our villages aren't being invaded by hordes of barbarians, where medicine has advanced past chants and leeches, where we can understand the world around us with more clarity than ever, where the human mind itself is no longer such a mystery and that which ails us can be treated...

...why are so many of us so damned miserable?

Why is depression still rampant?

Why is the suicide rate still so high?

Why do people eat themselves sick?

Why are so many people numbing themselves with drugs and alcohol?

Why are SO MANY people so damned unhappy with themselves?

For me personally, in the past 3 months I have become more cognizant of the EXTENT of marital misery that surrounds us. People who you'd think led perfect lives and want for nothing are suffering in silence. Where once-upon-a-time a man's midlife crisis meant the purchase of a sports car and a young girlfriend...now both men and women are so casually destroying their homes for the pursuit of "greener pastures".

I've seen it all...young couples, old couples, poor couples, well-off couples...struggling with their relationships over the same damned thing...complacency, boredom, inattentiveness, and ultimately an emotional disconnect.

And look at the troubled youth of today...using promiscuity and drugs to quell their angst.

You would think that with our higher standards of living and relative peace, we would be living more carefree lives? But it seems to be the opposite.

What is it?

Are we too comfortable?

Are we too distracted by our modern amenities?

Are we too disconnected from God?

What is troubling our lives today?

Wow, great post, PJ.

My personal belief is that most people have unrealistic expectations about life. On the subject of relationships, from Woody Allen's Husbands and Wives:

Pepkin married and led a warm, domestic life; placid, but dull. Knapp was a swinger - he eschewed nuptial ties and bedded different women. Nurses, housewives, students, a doctor, a salesgirl...they all held Knapp between their legs.

Pepkin, from the calm of his fidelity, envied Knapp. Knapp, lonely beyond belief, envied Pepkin.

What happened after the honeymoon? Did desire grow? Or did familiarity make partners want other lovers? Was the notion of ever-deepening romance a myth along with simultaneous orgasm? The only time Rifkin and his wife experienced one was when they were granted their divorce.

Maybe, in the end, the idea was not to expect too much out of life.

I personally believe we all expect too much out of life, in general. Once you stop trying to make it play out like movies or songs and take it for what it is, it's a beautiful thing.

Thanks Ace!

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

Personally, I was happy with my "dull" life. Bear in mind, that "dull" is an objective term. I have no desire to jump out of airplanes and ride a Harley in order to make my life "exciting". To me, sharing a sunny afternoon with my family on the beach or driving halfway across the state with them & a cooler full of sandwiches made my life "exciting". Am I wrong? Am I deluding myself? Am I "settling for less"?

I don't think so.

Life truly is a beautiful thing once you stop and smell the roses...or daffoldils...or carnations...or whatever else may be growing in your yard. But if you don't have roses, then you'll run into trouble when you start coveting the red ones in your neighbor's yard. You'll become miserable when you focus on the fact that you have marigolds instead of roses, instead of being happy that there are flowers there at all.

I appreciate the Woody Allen quote. Yeah, I can relate. The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. Hollywood tends to portray these fabulous picture-perfect lives that makes people miserable with their own existence.

PurpleJedi said:

Life truly is a beautiful thing once you stop and smell the roses...or daffoldils...or carnations...or whatever else may be growing in your yard. But if you don't have roses, then you'll run into trouble when you start coveting the red ones in your neighbor's yard. You'll become miserable when you focus on the fact that you have marigolds instead of roses, instead of being happy that there are flowers there at all.

ZombieKitten said:

2elijah said:

I believe the lack of morals, values and respect among many, is one of the main problems. Seems we live in a free-for-all, I got mine, not worried about his society. There's so many distractions, and people are not interacting/communication with each other on an interpersonal basis, but moreso these days behind computers.

As far as some of the behavior of youth these days, , I believe that's lack of home training and irresponsibility on the parents' part.

yes, coupled with the fact that it's against the law in many countries to hit your offspring.

True. I believe that is when things started falling apart, especially in the U.S. In NYC, sometime ago, there was a case where a man killed his daughter, by abusing her, and that is when abuse laws were strengthened, and parents were not allowed to "spank" their kids in specific ways to discipline them. Some kids actually abused those laws and took advantage of it, and many would threaten their parents that they would call the child protective agency on them. Some lied that their parents abused them when the parents tried to discipline them, and some parents had their kids taken away because of that, and some arrested. Now it seems the youth controls the parents, teachers, you name it.

This is what I don't get though. What's the excuse for some parents not teaching their youth morals, values and respecting others, especially other adults? I've seen some parents allow their children to disrespect adults verbally. It's sad. Then when the teacher calls the parent about their child's behavior, some parents become defensive instead of listening to what their kids actually did. As a child, born of Caribbean parents, mannerisms and respect towards adults, were strong values. I still hold those values, and did my best to instill them in my son, even though he grew up in that X generation, that were rebellious, so-to-speak. He turned out to be a fine, young man, and through the years, my neighbors and other adults who have met him, commend me on his mannerisms towards them. I feel good about that, because that told me, that he actually listened and displayed that behavior in public, even at times when he sort of rebelled through his teenage years a bit about that.

I don't care if you're a single parent, if you bring a child into this world, then make a good example of yourself for that child and teach him/her some home training/manners/respect for others. The ugly behavior/disrespect some youth display in public pretty much is an example of what they're not being taught at home, and when they take some of that ugly behavior/disrespect into adulthood, often times, that becomes a permanent part of their personality that they pass on to their future offspring.

[Edited 4/12/11 6:55am]

PurpleJedi said:

ZombieKitten said:

naaah its not god doing awful things, its people doing awful things in the name of god

like persecuting those who don't do things "right"

I wasn't really focusing on "doing bad things" with that comment, but rather; if we had true Faith in our lives would we have been able to weather this storm?

I know that to many people religion is a tool for "control"...but sometimes don't people NEED control? When someone decides to embrace their inner desires and abandon reason...not caring really what the consequences of their actions may bring...isn't there a NEED for something to reign this person in? To nip their self-destructive behavior in the bud?

Most of us need more self-control. I don't think that religion is the answer, though (I know this will come as a tremendous surprise from an agnostic ).

2elijah said:

I don't care if you're a single parent, if you bring a child into this world, then make a good example of yourself for that child and teach him/her some home training/manners/respect for others. The ugly behavior/disrespect some youth display in public pretty much is an example of what they're not being taught at home, and when they take some of that ugly behavior/disrespect into adulthood, often times, that becomes a permanent part of their personality that they pass on to their future offspring.

PurpleJedi said:

2elijah said:

I don't care if you're a single parent, if you bring a child into this world, then make a good example of yourself for that child and teach him/her some home training/manners/respect for others. The ugly behavior/disrespect some youth display in public pretty much is an example of what they're not being taught at home, and when they take some of that ugly behavior/disrespect into adulthood, often times, that becomes a permanent part of their personality that they pass on to their future offspring.

Oh, let me tell you another thing that pisses me off. Why do many of our youth think it is okay to write all over the building, hallways, etc., where they live?? They don't own the building, so why are you writing your name or name of your clique on it, as though you do? Would you do that at home? Yet their parents are paying the high rent, and hit with unexpected costs, when the elevator/roofs need to be fixed. That annoys the sh*t out of me.

Lawd, don't get me started, but here's another thing that pisses me off about people, when you see trash, i.e, paper on the floor, extra circulars, in the building where you live that is just sitting in the center of the hallway floor or maybe someone dropped a plastic bottle on the sidewalk in front of the building, but instead of picking it up and looking for the trash can, that you just happen to pass by, instead you leave the trash there, and walk around. Why not just pick it up and be a part of keeping your community clean? How about being part of the solution and not contributing to the problem? If my father, when he was alive, in my younger days, caught me walking past paper on the floor of the house or some other item, and didn't pick it up, he would stop me and asked me if I was blind. Geez...annoying, like I said..don't get me started.

[Edited 4/12/11 7:25am]

davetherave6767 said:

SATAN WOULD BRING WOE UPON THOSE ON EARTH!WE R NOW LIVING IN THAT TIME OF WOE!SATAN REALIZES HIS TIME IS UP WHEN HES GONE EVERYTHING WILL B COOL,WE WILL ALL B HAPPY.

Okay, I'll play along. How about trading the term "satan" for "evil?" I mean isn't that what you mean by mentioning "Satan?" Someone with evil intentions?

That term "Satan" is usually associated with "evil" anyway. The thing is evil people have no power unless you submit or give it to them. You ignore evil, don't give into it's tactics or give it any power, and I guess that's when one could say, evil's time is up when there's no one else for evil to play with.

[Edited 4/12/11 7:45am]

Serious said:

PurpleJedi said:

Interesting that you mention that;

Back when I was 12 (1982 to be exact) I spent a week visiting my dad's hometown. It's a tiny little seaside fishing village on the northern coast of Honduras.

When you talk about poverty, these people were POOR. My grandmother was one of a handful of people whose homes were cement (as opposed to thatched mud "cottages") with indoor plumbing and appliances (there was no electricity there at the time, all her appliances were gas).

BUT these were the nicest, happiest, most honest people you could ever meet. My grandmother never locked her door. People were HAPPY.

It'd be interesting to see, almost 3 decades later, if the advent of electricity and a new road that linked the village to the nearest town has changed things (for better or worse).

Sometimes I swear, that the more we have the worse we are.

I can very much relate to that . My bf lives in the rain forest half an hour away from the next house that belongs to a small fishing village. The next bigger city with an internet café, a supermarket or a pharmacy is 2 hours away. When I stay with him I have no drinking water, no electricity, no bath room, no toilet inside the house, in the beginning there wasn't even a kitchen. Everybody who knows me cannot believe I am living there like that. I never did any camping in my life, my favourite hobby is shopping and I prefer city trips for vacation, I am no beach girl at all and I love to live in the big city I am living. But I very much enjoy being overthere and don't miss much of all these things I have here that I take for granted.

Not many people in his country are living like my bf, but the standard of living is much lower than here. When I stay with friends or family of his the houses are often crowded with many people who hardly own anything, but seem to be happy. It is pretty humbling IMO.

Is your boyfriend a Rhasta? Many Rhastas live in the countryside (bushes/forests of of the Caribbean), which I notice you refer to as a rain forest. Does he not want to live in a more-developed community? Not trying to be funny, but is it that he can't afford to live in a more-developed part of the Caribbean or doesn't want to deal with the cost of electricity/water..or is if he is a Rhasta, could that be the reason, based on his religious beliefs? Just curious, if you don't mind me asking, but if you do, then I'll understand.

[Edited 4/12/11 7:52am]