Just thinking about that phrase...do you believe that miserable souls seek out other miserable souls? And why?

Is this really just another way of saying...people who share commonalities enjoy others with the same likes and/or dislikes?

Why the miserable component?

Opposites attract...certainly this flies in the face of the Misery Loves Company theory...doesn't it?

ParanoidAndroid said:

I assume it's because everyone wants to see someone else having problems. It sounds strange, but it's true. It makes you feel like you're not the only one who's in some deep shit. It makes you feel stronger.

Pretty much.

sweething said:

Just thinking about that phrase...do you believe that miserable souls seek out other miserable souls? And why?

Is this really just another way of saying...people who share commonalities enjoy others with the same likes and/or dislikes?

Why the miserable component?

Opposites attract...certainly this flies in the face of the Misery Loves Company theory...doesn't it?

I've never taken that saying that way.

I always thought it meant that miserable people don't like to see others be happy, so they'll do all they can to make others feel like shit and be miserable too.

And, really - more often that not, that's usually true.

Yes, this is why many women in particular do not want advice about their relationships...

this is also why family members want to give you bad advice about your children.

For example.... (I MUST sharet)

My estranged father told me that I should have my son live in a dormitory because "It'll help him grow up and teach him about life".....

yeah right.... BS.

My son is going to school on a full acedemic scholarship but the scholarship does not cover full costs of dormitory.... my son only lives 1.5 miles away from the school in a major city with lots of public transportation. He lives with me and he has freedoms because I trust him. My home is quiet and peaceful so he can study in peace.

So in my father's eyes... we should take out student loans so he can dorm. Live with an RA and cram himself with a roomy that may not have the same study habits.

Um, no...

His 2 sons that he did raise had to pull out loans for school and now are both having major issues paying back those loans after college.

Why would I risk that for my son? F that... My son will graduate from his undergrad college debt free!

Real life starts now... saving and investing his money wisely.

[Edited 3/2/11 12:19pm]

Water seeks its own level.

Birds of a feather....never thought of it in this context.

I look at it as misery seeks out other misery...like it is contagious or something....

I wish no one misery especially when I am in it.....

ParanoidAndroid said:

I assume it's because everyone wants to see someone else having problems. It sounds strange, but it's true. It makes you feel like you're not the only one who's in some deep shit. It makes you feel stronger.

Totally true. Just look at our celebrity obsessed culture. I get weirded out about people who are constantly talking about/trashing celebs.

And like armpit said, miserable people tend to revel in other people's misery so they either try to make other people's life shitty or at least draw as much attention as they can to other people's hard times.

Yes misery loves company. You see this all the time especially with people who constantly complain about their relationships. I think misery loves a good pity party too. Maybe its not so much about wanting to see someone else having problems as it is about wanting your own problems somehow validated and escalated. That whole woe is me thing.

^^^^^^ my mom used to say that too...

anyhow...its hard for me to be show misery or be miserable cause im always so damn happy even though inside i may feel like total crap, those are the times people dont hear from me as much, but i love having company to complain with...!!! the only stipulation is their lives have to be shytty too...no lookin down on me dammit...

missfee said:

ParanoidAndroid said:

I assume it's because everyone wants to see someone else having problems. It sounds strange, but it's true. It makes you feel like you're not the only one who's in some deep shit. It makes you feel stronger.

Pretty much.

I believe most people would interpret it as you've expressed. Comradery, we're in the trenches together; there's strength in numbers.

Feeling as though you're not the only one who's in some deep and then inviting additional burdens on (company) should make you feel weaker? So why would that ever be the option?

Wouldn't it be more satisfying for misery to dislike company?

armpit said:

sweething said:

Just thinking about that phrase...do you believe that miserable souls seek out other miserable souls? And why?

Is this really just another way of saying...people who share commonalities enjoy others with the same likes and/or dislikes?

Why the miserable component?

Opposites attract...certainly this flies in the face of the Misery Loves Company theory...doesn't it?

I've never taken that saying that way.

I always thought it meant that miserable people don't like to see others be happy, so they'll do all they can to make others feel like shit and be miserable too.

And, really - more often that not, that's usually true.

So you're saying its not the strength in numbers mindset its more of a concentrated effort to mess somebody up? No doubt most of us have heard and experienced this version.

But what's the payoff in this scenario? I'm not miserable anymore now that you are? Is it a fix? If so this seems to dispel the notion that misery loves company.

paintedlady said:

Yes, this is why many women in particular do not want advice about their relationships...

this is also why family members want to give you bad advice about your children.

For example.... (I MUST sharet)

My estranged father told me that I should have my son live in a dormitory because "It'll help him grow up and teach him about life".....

yeah right.... BS.

My son is going to school on a full acedemic scholarship but the scholarship does not cover full costs of dormitory.... my son only lives 1.5 miles away from the school in a major city with lots of public transportation. He lives with me and he has freedoms because I trust him. My home is quiet and peaceful so he can study in peace.

So in my father's eyes... we should take out student loans so he can dorm. Live with an RA and cram himself with a roomy that may not have the same study habits.

Um, no...

His 2 sons that he did raise had to pull out loans for school and now are both having major issues paying back those loans after college.

Why would I risk that for my son? F that... My son will graduate from his undergrad college debt free!

Real life starts now... saving and investing his money wisely.

[Edited 3/2/11 12:19pm]

Are you saying you're Father, or his life, is miserable so he wants you son's life to be the same?

CuddlyBear said:

Birds of a feather....never thought of it in this context.

another possibility. again, the comradery concept.

Yes. It does.

CuddlyBear said:

Birds of a feather....never thought of it in this context.

another possibility. again, the comradery concept.

JustErin said:

ParanoidAndroid said:

I assume it's because everyone wants to see someone else having problems. It sounds strange, but it's true. It makes you feel like you're not the only one who's in some deep shit. It makes you feel stronger.

Totally true. Just look at our celebrity obsessed culture. I get weirded out about people who are constantly talking about/trashing celebs.

And like armpit said, miserable people tend to revel in other people's misery so they either try to make other people's life shitty or at least draw as much attention as they can to other people's hard times.

Definately on the trash tv.

What do you think the payoff is?

myfavorite said:

^^^^^^ my mom used to say that too...

anyhow...its hard for me to be show misery or be miserable cause im always so damn happy even though inside i may feel like total crap, those are the times people dont hear from me as much, but i love having company to complain with...!!! the only stipulation is their lives have to be shytty too...no lookin down on me dammit...

So, this is your joy?

sweething said:

missfee said:

Pretty much.

I believe most people would interpret it as you've expressed. Comradery, we're in the trenches together; there's strength in numbers.

Feeling as though you're not the only one who's in some deep and then inviting additional burdens on (company) should make you feel weaker? So why would that ever be the option?

Wouldn't it be more satisfying for misery to dislike company?

Some people who are miserable with their lives, whether or not its from their own doing, can't stand to see someone who is doing well. Inviting additonal burdens on others helps to make the miserable one feel more better about their situation...especially if they point out that the next person's burdens are worse than their own. Jealousy and envy all tie into this type situation. Sure, normally you would think a miserable person wouldn't want to be bothered...but most miserable folk love to see drama unfold before their eyes. It not only makes them feel better about their own "miserable" situation but makes them feel justified in staying in their miserable situation...thus "misery loves company".

[Edited 3/3/11 9:05am]

but hey, dont try to "one-up me" on your miserable situation either. The bible says...iron sharpens iron...dont complain to continue to wallow in the mess...gleen and draw strength from the other person if at all possible!

missfee said:

sweething said:

I believe most people would interpret it as you've expressed. Comradery, we're in the trenches together; there's strength in numbers.

Feeling as though you're not the only one who's in some deep and then inviting additional burdens on (company) should make you feel weaker? So why would that ever be the option?

Wouldn't it be more satisfying for misery to dislike company?

Some people who are miserable with their lives, whether or not its from their own doing, can't stand to see someone who is doing well. Inviting additonal burdens on others helps to make the miserable one feel more better about their situation...especially if they point out that the next person's burdens are worse than their own. Jealousy and envy all tie into this type situation. Sure, normally you would think a miserable person wouldn't want to be bothered...but most miserable folk love to see drama unfold before their eyes. It not only makes them feel better about their own "miserable" situation but makes them feel justified in staying in their miserable situation...thus "misery loves company".

^yep. And that's the payoff.

x

[Edited 3/3/11 20:14pm]

myfavorite said:

but hey, dont try to "one-up me" on your miserable situation either. The bible says...iron sharpens iron...dont complain to continue to wallow in the mess...gleen and draw strength from the other person if at all possible!

I know, that's funny when it happens...the old, we were so poor we had to each sandwiches with no bread schtick.

But I agree, why bother? I prefer the sun.

sweething said:

Just thinking about that phrase...do you believe that miserable souls seek out other miserable souls? And why?

Is this really just another way of saying...people who share commonalities enjoy others with the same likes and/or dislikes?

Why the miserable component?

Opposites attract...certainly this flies in the face of the Misery Loves Company theory...doesn't it?

[Edited 3/9/11 1:49am]

sweething said:

paintedlady said:

Yes, this is why many women in particular do not want advice about their relationships...

this is also why family members want to give you bad advice about your children.

For example.... (I MUST sharet)

My estranged father told me that I should have my son live in a dormitory because "It'll help him grow up and teach him about life".....

yeah right.... BS.

My son is going to school on a full acedemic scholarship but the scholarship does not cover full costs of dormitory.... my son only lives 1.5 miles away from the school in a major city with lots of public transportation. He lives with me and he has freedoms because I trust him. My home is quiet and peaceful so he can study in peace.

So in my father's eyes... we should take out student loans so he can dorm. Live with an RA and cram himself with a roomy that may not have the same study habits.

Um, no...

His 2 sons that he did raise had to pull out loans for school and now are both having major issues paying back those loans after college.

Why would I risk that for my son? F that... My son will graduate from his undergrad college debt free!

Real life starts now... saving and investing his money wisely.

[Edited 3/2/11 12:19pm]

Are you saying you're Father, or his life, is miserable so he wants you son's life to be the same?

Yes. His boys are having a hard time paying back their students loans and he wants my son to take out loans also... even though it isn't necessary for him to do so at this point.