I know that there are biological evidence supporting people that are born homosexual. What about people who are bi-sexual? Were they born this way or are they just greedy?

This is a serious question.

Graycap23 said:

I know that there are biological evidence supporting people that are born homosexual. What about people who are bi-sexual? Were they born this way or are they just greedy?

This is a serious question.

You may be serious about it, but it's a stupid question.

"Born this way" suggests that you're born liking both sexes.

"Just greedy" still assumes that you like both sexes - why would you be greedy for something you have no interest in?

So asking whether bisexuals are "born this way" OR" just greedy" doesn't make sense.

You're not the first person to ask this question by a long shot. I just don't get it.

PunkMistress said:

Graycap23 said:

I know that there are biological evidence supporting people that are born homosexual. What about people who are bi-sexual? Were they born this way or are they just greedy?

This is a serious question.

You may be serious about it, but it's a stupid question.

"Born this way" suggests that you're born liking both sexes.

"Just greedy" still assumes that you like both sexes - why would you be greedy for something you have no interest in?

So asking whether bisexuals are "born this way" OR" just greedy" doesn't make sense.

You're not the first person to ask this question by a long shot. I just don't get it.

That really addresses the question.

Graycap23 said:

PunkMistress said:

You may be serious about it, but it's a stupid question.

"Born this way" suggests that you're born liking both sexes.

"Just greedy" still assumes that you like both sexes - why would you be greedy for something you have no interest in?

So asking whether bisexuals are "born this way" OR" just greedy" doesn't make sense.

You're not the first person to ask this question by a long shot. I just don't get it.

That really addresses the question.

I think it does.

The question is, are bisexual people born bisexual, or are they just greedy?

I addressed your question by telling you that the premise is faulty.

Maybe I'm not understanding the "just greedy" part.

How can you be "just greedy" for both dick and pussy if you don't start out liking both dick and pussy in the first place?

I think his question is "are people born bisexual?" and the "just greedy" part is a joke.

Everybody is different. Biology sometimes plays a role and sometimes it doesnt'. Basically, some people may be born that way and some people may be greedy. It depends on the individual.

Gray, I don't think your question is stupid nor do I find it to be a joke.

I don't get the use of the word "greedy." It implies something that presupposes an answer.

Or to put it another way: Are straight people born that way, or are they just so dim-witted that they can't figure out how to be anything else?

Efan said:

I don't get the use of the word "greedy." It implies something that presupposes an answer.

Or to put it another way: Are straight people born that way, or are they just so dim-witted that they can't figure out how to be anything else?

I should prefaced my question. I have a neighbor (female) One week, she is strickly straight and has no more interest in woman................the next week, she is 100% lesbian and has not interest in men. I'm trying 2 understand her behavior. She has been going back and forth 4 years now. Every time I turn around, she has a new mate. I don't get it.

Graycap23 said:

Efan said:

I don't get the use of the word "greedy." It implies something that presupposes an answer.

Or to put it another way: Are straight people born that way, or are they just so dim-witted that they can't figure out how to be anything else?

I should prefaced my question. I have a neighbor (female) One week, she is strickly straight and has no more interest in woman................the next week, she is 100% lesbian and has not interest in men. I'm trying 2 understand her behavior. She has been going back and forth 4 years now. Every time I turn around, she has a new mate. I don't get it.

Do her mates by chance have money? She may be a closet prostitute.

Other possibilities: loneliness, whoredom, sex addiction, love addiction, seeking attention, unresolved childhood trauma. Maybe she is just really confused or perhaps she is just experimenting.

You should just ask her what her deal is. Get all up in her business.

Personally I believe that we are sexual creatures, not necessarily born entirely gay, straight, or bi but perhaps born with certain leanings in one direction or another, and that any of us might also be influenced by circumstances in our lives to go farther in one direction vs the other.

And I believe that applies to pretty much every aspect of our lives. I could be born with a chemical/genetic leaning towards introspection, but raised to be an extrovert. I might be born with athletic abilities, but raised to be a nerd.

I believe we are all capable of just about anything. But that's just my experience, I'm sure some would disagree.

Graycap, I think PunkMistress raises an interesting point: Even if bisexuality is somehow attributible to some nondescript "greed," wouldn't we have to presuppose bisexual desire anyway? I mean, have you ever been greedy for anything you didn't desire on some level?

I think what you're really driving at (and correct me if I'm wrong) is whether that desire/gratification is a function of birth or is slowly developed over time through psychosocial encounter. Classic nature vs. nurture stuff. If so, no one can answer you definitively -- or at least no one has so far. For my part, I'm one who suspects all sexuality is an aggregate of who we are at birth and what we encounter through life.

Graycap23 said:

Efan said:

I don't get the use of the word "greedy." It implies something that presupposes an answer.

Or to put it another way: Are straight people born that way, or are they just so dim-witted that they can't figure out how to be anything else?

I should prefaced my question. I have a neighbor (female) One week, she is strickly straight and has no more interest in woman................the next week, she is 100% lesbian and has not interest in men. I'm trying 2 understand her behavior. She has been going back and forth 4 years now. Every time I turn around, she has a new mate. I don't get it.

I think that one person's behavior isn't necessarily motivated by the same things as another person's. So she may have lots of things going on in her life that are not explained just by sexual orientation. IN other words, she might just have issues.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:13am]

nature vs. nurture. they both are equally important and influential.

NDRU said:

Graycap23 said:

I should prefaced my question. I have a neighbor (female) One week, she is strickly straight and has no more interest in woman................the next week, she is 100% lesbian and has not interest in men. I'm trying 2 understand her behavior. She has been going back and forth 4 years now. Every time I turn around, she has a new mate. I don't get it.

I think that one person's behavior isn't necessarily motivated by the same things as another person's. So she may have lots of things going on in her life that are not explained just by sexual orientation. IN other words, she might just have issues.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:13am]

I agree. There's a marked difference between sexual orientation and sexual expression. She very well could be bisexual, hetero, Lesbian or any permutation inbetween. (Not that I believe those made-up categories are all that reliable anyway). But whatever her orientation, it is clearly either very fluid or, if fixed, not so controlling in her that it can't be offset by other factors to affect very different sexual expressions at different points in her life.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:22am]

HotGritz said:

Graycap23 said:

I should prefaced my question. I have a neighbor (female) One week, she is strickly straight and has no more interest in woman................the next week, she is 100% lesbian and has not interest in men. I'm trying 2 understand her behavior. She has been going back and forth 4 years now. Every time I turn around, she has a new mate. I don't get it.

Do her mates by chance have money? She may be a closet prostitute.

Other possibilities: loneliness, whoredom, sex addiction, love addiction, seeking attention, unresolved childhood trauma. Maybe she is just really confused or perhaps she is just experimenting.

You should just ask her what her deal is. Get all up in her business.

Don't know. I asked here what was up and she pulled up CL. I was shocked at how many woman were looking 4 other woman...........a lot of them claim that they are "discreet" and don't want their man 2 know what they were up 2. Is this "normal"?

Graycap23 said:

HotGritz said:

Do her mates by chance have money? She may be a closet prostitute.

Other possibilities: loneliness, whoredom, sex addiction, love addiction, seeking attention, unresolved childhood trauma. Maybe she is just really confused or perhaps she is just experimenting.

You should just ask her what her deal is. Get all up in her business.

Don't know. I asked here what was up and she pulled up CL. I was shocked at how many woman were looking 4 other woman...........a lot of them claim that they are "discreet" and don't want their man 2 know what they were up 2. Is this "normal"?

I've less familiarity with women doing this sort of thing, but I can tell you it certainly is commonplace with men.

I suppose if you wanted to, you could read "greed" into the desire to be both sexually fulfilled and lead a lifestyle sanctioned and supported by society. Of course, that same sort of thing in a heterosexual isn't called greed, but is rather considered normal -- and we have the millennia-old institution of heterosexual marriage to facilitate it for them.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:33am]

Graycap23 said:

HotGritz said:

Do her mates by chance have money? She may be a closet prostitute.

Other possibilities: loneliness, whoredom, sex addiction, love addiction, seeking attention, unresolved childhood trauma. Maybe she is just really confused or perhaps she is just experimenting.

You should just ask her what her deal is. Get all up in her business.

Don't know. I asked here what was up and she pulled up CL. I was shocked at how many woman were looking 4 other woman...........a lot of them claim that they are "discreet" and don't want their man 2 know what they were up 2. Is this "normal"?

In the sense that people want to have sexual relations on the DL and are looking for willing partners on CL, I wouldn't call it normal so much as a reality of the world we live in. You can go on CL to find somebody to buy your sofa or you can go on there to find somebody to service you sexually. It is what it is. Trust though, that for every one woman cruising CL for sex, there are probably a dozen that would find that beneath them. Like I said, everybody is different. Still odd that she has a different person every single week and has done so for the last 4 years. You sure she's not getting paid for these liasions?

Graycap23 said:

Efan said:

I don't get the use of the word "greedy." It implies something that presupposes an answer.

Or to put it another way: Are straight people born that way, or are they just so dim-witted that they can't figure out how to be anything else?

I should prefaced my question. I have a neighbor (female) One week, she is strickly straight and has no more interest in woman................the next week, she is 100% lesbian and has not interest in men. I'm trying 2 understand her behavior. She has been going back and forth 4 years now. Every time I turn around, she has a new mate. I don't get it.

How do you know she goes from "strictly straight" to "100% lesbian"? Because of the sex of her partner at the time? Or is this what she says to you?

When I had a girlfriend, she was my only partner. But that didn't make me 100% lesbian any more than my monogamous relationship with my husband makes me "strictly straight."

If she is actually identifying as lesbian one week and straight another, I can tell you that this is not normal bisexual behavior and she's probably a damn nutcase.

Lammastide said:

Graycap23 said:

Don't know. I asked here what was up and she pulled up CL. I was shocked at how many woman were looking 4 other woman...........a lot of them claim that they are "discreet" and don't want their man 2 know what they were up 2. Is this "normal"?

I've less familiarity with women doing this sort of thing, but I can tell you it certainly is commonplace with men.

I suppose if you wanted to, you could read "greed" into the desire to be both sexually fulfilled and lead a lifestyle sanctioned and supported by society. Of course, that same sort of thing in a heterosexual isn't called greed, but is rather considered normal.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:31am]

I suppose that u are correct. My lil sheltered world......lol.

Lammastide said:

Graycap23 said:

Don't know. I asked here what was up and she pulled up CL. I was shocked at how many woman were looking 4 other woman...........a lot of them claim that they are "discreet" and don't want their man 2 know what they were up 2. Is this "normal"?

I've less familiarity with women doing this sort of thing, but I can tell you it certainly is commonplace with men.

I suppose if you wanted to, you could read "greed" into the desire to be both sexually fulfilled and lead a lifestyle sanctioned and supported by society. Of course, that same sort of thing in a heterosexual isn't called greed, but is rather considered normal -- and we have the millennia-old institution of heterosexual marriage to facilitate it for them.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:33am]

PunkMistress said:

Graycap23 said:

I should prefaced my question. I have a neighbor (female) One week, she is strickly straight and has no more interest in woman................the next week, she is 100% lesbian and has not interest in men. I'm trying 2 understand her behavior. She has been going back and forth 4 years now. Every time I turn around, she has a new mate. I don't get it.

How do you know she goes from "strictly straight" to "100% lesbian"? Because of the sex of her partner at the time? Or is this what she says to you?

When I had a girlfriend, she was my only partner. But that didn't make me 100% lesbian any more than my monogamous relationship with my husband makes me "strictly straight."

If she is actually identifying as lesbian one week and straight another, I can tell you that this is not normal bisexual behavior and she's probably a damn nutcase.

I'm only commenting on her comments 2 me.

PunkMistress said:

Lammastide said:

I've less familiarity with women doing this sort of thing, but I can tell you it certainly is commonplace with men.

I suppose if you wanted to, you could read "greed" into the desire to be both sexually fulfilled and lead a lifestyle sanctioned and supported by society. Of course, that same sort of thing in a heterosexual isn't called greed, but is rather considered normal -- and we have the millennia-old institution of heterosexual marriage to facilitate it for them.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:33am]

I'm not making excuses for screwing around on one's partner on the DL, BTW. I personally take the position that that is unethical in just about any situation I can think of. But I do totally understand -- first-hand -- the social dynamics that might drive certain people into that very tough dilemma. They're often not just greedy scoundrels -- at least no more or less than anyone else.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:41am]

Graycap23 said:

PunkMistress said:

How do you know she goes from "strictly straight" to "100% lesbian"? Because of the sex of her partner at the time? Or is this what she says to you?

When I had a girlfriend, she was my only partner. But that didn't make me 100% lesbian any more than my monogamous relationship with my husband makes me "strictly straight."

If she is actually identifying as lesbian one week and straight another, I can tell you that this is not normal bisexual behavior and she's probably a damn nutcase.

I'm only commenting on her comments 2 me.

Meaning what?

She tells you that she's straight, then tells you she's lesbian?

Many people don't like to identify as "bisexual" (myself included) because of the many misconceptions and assumptions attached to that label.

Such as your "just greedy" supposition above - which I still don't understand for the life of me.

Here's what I find really irritating.

This is not a "bisexual question."

It's a question about your crazy-ass neighbor. She doesn't represent bisexual people.

If your neighbor was Indian, a question about her behavior would not correctly be called "An Indian Question."

People who date/fuck both sexes are no more monolithic than any other group of people.

PunkMistress said:

Graycap23 said:

I'm only commenting on her comments 2 me.

Meaning what?

She tells you that she's straight, then tells you she's lesbian?

Many people don't like to identify as "bisexual" (myself included) because of the many misconceptions and assumptions attached to that label.

Such as your "just greedy" supposition above - which I still don't understand for the life of me.

If u are so confused........just let it go.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:45am]

^ If the question had to do with cultural/religous practices or ethnic traits then it would most certainly be called "An Indian Question." I've seen this before on other sites. Being a woman I've also been asked "women questions". Sure it's not right that one person is presumed to be the representative/example of an entire group but it's a common presumption; its the way people think and act. For example, Amy Chua inadvertently became the example for all Asian mothers due to her NY TIMES best seller Battle Hym of a Tiger Mother. Is she indeed the example? Of course not but that doesn't stop people from putting all asian mothers in the same category as her. Its not the question that anyone should be offended by, it's the attitude behind the question. The way I see it, Gray was asking a valid question and wanting to engage in serious dialogue.

Graycap23 said:

PunkMistress said:

Meaning what?

She tells you that she's straight, then tells you she's lesbian?

Many people don't like to identify as "bisexual" (myself included) because of the many misconceptions and assumptions attached to that label.

Such as your "just greedy" supposition above - which I still don't understand for the life of me.

If u are so confused........just let it go.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:45am]

You've made no attempts to explain it to me, so of course I'm still confused. What did you mean when you presented that as the alternative to being born bi?

PunkMistress said:

Graycap23 said:

If u are so confused........just let it go.

[Edited 2/15/11 11:45am]

You've made no attempts to explain it to me, so of course I'm still confused. What did you mean when you presented that as the alternative to being born bi?

I think it was a joke, personally, like a greedy person might realize he was missing out on 3.5 billion potential sexual partners

HotGritz said:

^ If the question had to do with cultural/religous practices or ethnic traits then it would most certainly be called "An Indian Question." I've seen this before on other sites. Being a woman I've also been asked "women questions". Sure it's not right that one person is presumed to be the representative/example of an entire group but it's a common presumption; its the way people think and act. For example, Amy Chua inadvertently became the example for all Asian mothers due to her NY TIMES best seller Battle Hym of a Tiger Mother. Is she indeed the example? Of course not but that doesn't stop people from putting all asian mothers in the same category as her. Its not the question that anyone should be offended by, it's the attitude behind the question. The way I see it, Gray was asking a valid question and wanting to engage in serious dialogue.

It sounds to me like he was more confused about his neighbor's promiscuity. Which is NOT a bisexual trait at all. If she had dated a man for five years and then a woman for five years and then another man for five years, would he ask the same question?