ZombieKitten said:

Fauxie said:

As in... he loves me, he's fun with me, protective of me, affectionate, funny and cool, so it's all good. Do I give a shit if you, a stranger, come up and try to play with him and he says 'no', waves his hand and shakes his head, and dismisses you like you're a tiny, insignificant annoyance? It's his right, no? If you're with us and he sees it's cool he'll be different, but I wouldn't want some random stranger coming up to me to pinch my cheeks or poke my belly just because I'm cute either. He's made his decision about you. Jog on!

poke my belly and I will swing my handbag up in your face and you better be hoping today it doesn't have a brick in it (you know, for situations such as this one)

It's fair enough, right?

There's this creepy looking lady in our street who when we see her comes up and tries to poke him and says "Where is Uan (his dad)?". She's creepy. New knows she's creepy and she annoys the shit out of him, so when she tries to talk he just repeatedly says "no" in this matter of fact way and shakes his head. It's hilarious. It's not like 'no, go away', it's more like no to your existence. You = no.

.

[Edited 1/28/11 18:56pm]

Fauxie said:

ZombieKitten said:

poke my belly and I will swing my handbag up in your face and you better be hoping today it doesn't have a brick in it (you know, for situations such as this one)

It's fair enough, right?

There's this creepy looking lady in our street who when we see her comes up and tries to poke him and says "Where is Uan (his dad)?". She's creepy. New knows she's creepy and she annoys the shit out of him, so when she tries to talk he just repeatedly says "no" in this matter of fact way and shakes his head. It's hilarious. It's not like 'no, go away', it's more like no to your existence. You = no.

.

[Edited 1/28/11 18:56pm]

If only that were OK, to point at people we didn't want in our lives and say "NO!"

I would pay extra to fly on a child free/adults only flight. I wish some airline would start certain flights/routes as family friendly so I'd know what to avoid. I'm kind of surprised someone hasn't.

I also think all of Manhattan should be adults only. There are four other boroughs for kids to run amuck.

johnart said:

proving that, well, he was just pretty much an asshole.

Awesome.

I agree. I know myself, I used to get so embarrased when my kids were infants and we'd go out to eat, and they'd start to wail. But I walways either held them so they'd stop and if they didn't out to the car we'd go so they could have some tittie. And that goes for everywhere else too.

Also it's kinda rare that I get to go have a nice dinner without the kids, and when we are seated next to someone whose kids are acting like "assholes" I get pretty pissed.

ZombieKitten said:

Fauxie said:

It's fair enough, right?

There's this creepy looking lady in our street who when we see her comes up and tries to poke him and says "Where is Uan (his dad)?". She's creepy. New knows she's creepy and she annoys the shit out of him, so when she tries to talk he just repeatedly says "no" in this matter of fact way and shakes his head. It's hilarious. It's not like 'no, go away', it's more like no to your existence. You = no.

.

[Edited 1/28/11 18:56pm]

If only that were OK, to point at people we didn't want in our lives and say "NO!"

"You... yes, you... ok, you... I'll let you slide, you... no!"

New's response in that instance is what I would've taught him to do though, if I had, but he did it by himself. I think she's creepy and annoying so I think he's spot on. I get stick for how I am with him though. Thais don't approve of kids touching your head (the whole head is sacred thing, and feet are dirty and low) and I let New do it. If it's from love and affection I'm not going to discipline him. Better he do something sweet, anything nice, than do something naughty. I'm not about to curb his affectionate side even if it flies in the face of Thai culture. Now, whether this will cause problems later I don't know. He'll probably pat kids at school on the head like they're his pets.

Oh, and if people want to let their kids act up at home thats one thing, but to allow their kids to inconvenience others in public is down right rude and self centered. I'm sure you don't wanna hear your kid, do ya think we do???

I know kids throw tantrums at times. Mine do/have as well. But TRUST me they regret it real quick and knock that shit off pretty damn fast.

ZombieKitten said:

or: "why can't all kids be made the same without any intellectual and/or behavioural and/or
other challenges?"

so unfair we can't treat them all the same and they all turn out just as expected!!

and so unfair when we make the decision to be parents that we can't pick and choose what our kids' temperaments are going to be like I would have picked:

quiet

obliging

conformist

grateful

appreciative

understanding

attractive

I guess it's asking too much of a 2-6 year child, I mean most adults don't even tick all of those boxes.

That's a great point (it really is) but really isn't it only fairly applicable to those who choose have them?

And you can't really compare children to adults fairly. If I act like an ass at the dinner table, you best believe management will ask my ass to leave. They don't ask the couple with the screamin' gremlin to.

Mach said:

johnart said:

That's why slapping a strange child with a breadstick should be legalized.

I slapped all 4 of my strange kids with breadsticks ! Then threatened to slit their throats with the bread knife if they uttered another peep

I love you.

Shiiiit! Last time I took my nephew out in public, and he tried to cut up, I took him to a no camera zone and tapped dat azz!! He already know my tantrum is worse than his. If you can't bring your ackrite with you, your ass can stay home.

I do not play!

He is pretty good in public. He will look at other kids throwing tantrums like "oooh".

BklynBabe said:

Shiiiit! Last time I took my nephew out in public, and he tried to cut up, I took him to a no camera zone and tapped dat azz!! He already know my tantrum is worse than his. If you can't bring your ackrite with you, your ass can stay home. I do not play! He is pretty good in public. He will look at other kids throwing tantrums like "oooh".

johnart said:

Last weekend I went for a haircut and this kid was throwin a damn fit through his entire cut. I'm not talking just crying, I'm talkin top-of-your-lung bloodcurdling screaming, arm wavin' and kicking. So much so that I asked the girl (I was her next haircut) if she popped a tranquilizer when she went to the back in between cuts. Now I know some kids are like that and get scared of a haircut, but this kid carried on even long after, throwing himself on the floor and such, proving that, well, he was just pretty much an asshole.

All I kept thinking was, why don't they have haircut palces that specialize in kids, or at the very least, a sectioned off area for kid haircuts.

But this applies to pretty much anything public. Restaurants should have no-kid sections (just like there used to be non-smoking sections). I much rather take my chances with a bit of second hand smoke than risk accidentally stabbing a screaming child with my fork. Why should I have my dinner experience ruined by the oh-so-darling fruit of your loin??

And when I travel, it always annoys me when they call people with children first, along with folk who need special assistance. Well, they're sick or disabled, they most likely did not choose to be, so I understand why they get on first. But you decided to spawn, how or why does that get you special privilage? They should just be like "OK, who here is traveling without children? Raise of hands. " then let those folk in and sit all the screamin brats up front in their own section. Better yet, do let them board first, but seat them all at the back of the plane so that the rest of us can get off swiftly and without having to wait for Mommy and Daddy to get lil' Shitty and Caca's crap together.

Just a thougth.

don't be shy, tell us how you really feel.

i get it. i love kids but sometimes they are a bit hard to handle. that's why i designed the kiddie naptime tranquilizer dart gun. patent pending

johnart said:

ZombieKitten said:

or: "why can't all kids be made the same without any intellectual and/or behavioural and/or
other challenges?"

so unfair we can't treat them all the same and they all turn out just as expected!!

and so unfair when we make the decision to be parents that we can't pick and choose what our kids' temperaments are going to be like I would have picked:

quiet

obliging

conformist

grateful

appreciative

understanding

attractive

I guess it's asking too much of a 2-6 year child, I mean most adults don't even tick all of those boxes.

That's a great point (it really is) but really isn't it only fairly applicable to those who choose have them?

And you can't really compare children to adults fairly. If I act like an ass at the dinner table, you best believe management will ask my ass to leave. They don't ask the couple with the screamin' gremlin to.

because they are scared of litigation and bad press is why

not because they don't want to, or that those parents aren't out of line

There was a restaurant here called Lynch's that had started a no children under 12 policy - to the extent where there was a plaque on the door outside.

reviews like the following ensued:

Alana writes (visited Mon Nov 21 15:15:51 2005):
I think that the fact that no children are allowed is DISPICABLE!!! I didn't know about the policy untill i got there and was asked to take my child away! i was appauled! just because there children doesn't meen we should look down on them. I will definatly be putting off allm of my friends to this disgusting restaraunt and you shoul;d all get a life!!!

it got HUGE media coverage, I remember, LOADS of bad press

ZombieKitten said:

This is something that annoys me, when I've waited until I could to to the mall KID-FREE, so as to have some peace and quiet, only to have other people's screaming sprog all over the shop

I know though, what it's like to be cooped up with the kids and sometimes you just HAVE to get out, or there goes your sanity so I don't really begrudge people. Some people just don't have the support network and if their kids aren't in daycare or school yet, well they have no choice but to bring them - I've been in that situation myself - for 10 years

post of the year award for parental honesty

XxAxX said:

ZombieKitten said:

This is something that annoys me, when I've waited until I could to to the mall KID-FREE, so as to have some peace and quiet, only to have other people's screaming sprog all over the shop

I know though, what it's like to be cooped up with the kids and sometimes you just HAVE to get out, or there goes your sanity so I don't really begrudge people. Some people just don't have the support network and if their kids aren't in daycare or school yet, well they have no choice but to bring them - I've been in that situation myself - for 10 years

post of the year award for parental honesty

I'm one of those parents who refuse to impose my horrid trio onto any innocent bystanders, because I know they are unpredictable. There is no way I would spend $200 on a restaurant meal where my kids a) don't eat anything we ordered and b) complain non-stop until we get home, when there is such a thing called McDonalds Drive Thru.

Mach said:

Acrylic said:

That's my kind of parenting!

Most people think i'm kidding

I almost killed a strangers child in the resturant this eve ... but then realized that the child was just mimicking it's parents ~ so I asked to be moved

.

[Edited 1/28/11 18:45pm]

please just ORGnote me if i break the rules

They actually do have hair places for kids, I used to go to one in LA called Tipperary. I went in 2007, nude under my trenchcoatTHATSNOTFUNNY!!

I totally agree with you however. I like kids, and I know they are a part of this world, and I know have the right to be kids, but I just don't really want to hear their screeching all day long. If I did I would have some of my own.

Kid theys act in public the way are allowed to act at home. PERIOD. My kids know.

I do not allow tantrums. I do not allow loud behavior in my house... people have commented how quiet my kids are at home. They forget I have children. They think its weird my kids are they way they are.

I have zero issues with them since I am not patient at all. Poor things.

Well, its all good since I go out and the kids are never a problem.

But not all parents are like me, some are more leanient. So places that are child friendly are a must.

Some parents feel quilty about forcing their kids to behave, I do not have this issue. But for those that let their kids act like wild monkeys at home... then they need to take their kids to zoo keepers that don't mind the behavior of kids that are allowed to have their way.

paintedlady said:

Kid theys act in public the way are allowed to act at home. PERIOD. My kids know.

I do not allow tantrums. I do not allow loud behavior in my house... people have commented how quiet my kids are at home. They forget I have children. They think its weird my kids are they way they are.

I have zero issues with them since I am not patient at all. Poor things.

Well, its all good since I go out and the kids are never a problem.

But not all parents are like me, some are more leanient. So places that are child friendly are a must.

Some parents feel quilty about forcing their kids to behave, I do not have this issue. But for those that let their kids act like wild monkeys at home... then they need to take their kids to zoo keepers that don't mind the behavior of kids that are allowed to have their way.

two of my kids totally understand zero tolerance, but one of mine does not.

I brought them up the same

For example yesterday we were at the mall to choose a pencil case for this particular child. He started whining, we dropped everything and went home.

Two of my kids would totally learn from this experience, the child in question will not.

Many parents are fortunate to have been matched with kids that respond to their parenting technique. I envy them.

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

Kid theys act in public the way are allowed to act at home. PERIOD. My kids know.

I do not allow tantrums. I do not allow loud behavior in my house... people have commented how quiet my kids are at home. They forget I have children. They think its weird my kids are they way they are.

I have zero issues with them since I am not patient at all. Poor things.

Well, its all good since I go out and the kids are never a problem.

But not all parents are like me, some are more leanient. So places that are child friendly are a must.

Some parents feel quilty about forcing their kids to behave, I do not have this issue. But for those that let their kids act like wild monkeys at home... then they need to take their kids to zoo keepers that don't mind the behavior of kids that are allowed to have their way.

two of my kids totally understand zero tolerance, but one of mine does not.

I brought them up the same

But still, I am sure all of your children know what's acceptable behavior.

He knows if he's pushing boundaries especially if he isn't allowed to do that at home.

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

two of my kids totally understand zero tolerance, but one of mine does not.

I brought them up the same

But still, I am sure all of your children know what's acceptable behavior.

He knows if he's pushing boundaries especially if he isn't allowed to do that at home.

He doesn't understand action –> consequence.

ZombieKitten said:

For example yesterday we were at the mall to choose a pencil case for this particular child. He started whining, we dropped everything and went home.

Two of my kids would totally learn from this experience, the child in question will not.

Many parents are fortunate to have been matched with kids that respond to their parenting technique. I envy them.

I have 3 different kids... they all act right because I am a total mean bitch if they don't.

They are afraid of what I will do... but also, I will point out that I am a single mother. My style of discipline is constant and always the same. My kids do not have a dad that will confuse them in the home. Sometimes different styles can make boundaries hard to gauge for a child.

Dads and moms in the same household tend to have different styles and tolerances usually, and kids pick up different tolerances and play on that.

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

For example yesterday we were at the mall to choose a pencil case for this particular child. He started whining, we dropped everything and went home.

Two of my kids would totally learn from this experience, the child in question will not.

Many parents are fortunate to have been matched with kids that respond to their parenting technique. I envy them.

I have 3 different kids... they all act right because I am a total mean bitch if they don't.

They are afraid of what I will do... but also, I will point out that I am a single mother. My style of discipline is constant and always the same. My kids do not have a dad that will confuse them in the home. Sometimes different styles can make boundaries hard to gauge for a child.

Dads and moms in the same household tend to have different styles and tolerances usually, and kids pick up different tolerances and play on that.

I totally agree with all of that.

The best behaved they have ever been is both times the master was away for 3 weeks.

I am so mean to them I could be reported, but still only 2 of my kids respond to that, the other is totally impermeable.

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

But still, I am sure all of your children know what's acceptable behavior.

He knows if he's pushing boundaries especially if he isn't allowed to do that at home.

He doesn't understand action –> consequence.

My second child isn't afraid of conscequence.

If I spank him, he'll say

"I deserve it, its OK... you can hit me again"

If I give him time out

He will stay in a corner all day if I let him and say he deserves it.

I can take anything away from him and he'll be fine with it.... so I understand when you say this.

So these methods don't work since he doesn't understand discipline... so I just talk to him and stick a routine with him.

he's so much damn work.... but so far I found a solution. For now...

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

I have 3 different kids... they all act right because I am a total mean bitch if they don't.

They are afraid of what I will do... but also, I will point out that I am a single mother. My style of discipline is constant and always the same. My kids do not have a dad that will confuse them in the home. Sometimes different styles can make boundaries hard to gauge for a child.

Dads and moms in the same household tend to have different styles and tolerances usually, and kids pick up different tolerances and play on that.

I totally agree with all of that.

The best behaved they have ever been is both times the master was away for 3 weeks.

I am so mean to them I could be reported, but still only 2 of my kids respond to that, the other is totally impermeable.

The other is smart as hell.

There is always one... does he listen to dad better? Maybe dad's style works for him?

ZombieKitten said:

XxAxX said:

post of the year award for parental honesty

I'm one of those parents who refuse to impose my horrid trio onto any innocent bystanders, because I know they are unpredictable. There is no way I would spend $200 on a restaurant meal where my kids a) don't eat anything we ordered and b) complain non-stop until we get home, when there is such a thing called McDonalds Drive Thru.

good for you. that's sensible parenting. i 've had restaurant experiences that caused me to wish more people were like you.

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

I totally agree with all of that.

The best behaved they have ever been is both times the master was away for 3 weeks.

I am so mean to them I could be reported, but still only 2 of my kids respond to that, the other is totally impermeable.

The other is smart as hell.

There is always one... does he listen to dad better? Maybe dad's style works for him?

so far nothing works. He's NOT smart, he can go weeks at a time with all his priviliges taken away from him, since he will make the same mistakes EVERY DAY, and be upset about that EVERY DAY without any change in his behaviour or thinking. The other 2 are smart, they do what they need to, to get what they want which is to oblige their parents and be nice kids.

His dad's style is bullying, which makes this child into a victim, a role he plays with much enthusiasm and drama. It doesn't work.

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

But still, I am sure all of your children know what's acceptable behavior.

He knows if he's pushing boundaries especially if he isn't allowed to do that at home.

He doesn't understand action –> consequence.

granted all kids are different, but they are partly products of their experiences. Maybe he does know about consequences, but he wants the attention, even if it is negative attention. He is the middle, right?

there are so many variables that go into determining our personalities. Maybe it is not that your parenting is not working, but some other factor has already made him different from his brothers and you need to identify it.

Not that I am suggesting that it is an easy thing to do, I'm only suggesting that kids are not controlled experiments. There is no way that all three kids have had the same experiences, so they can't be expected to react to them the same, either.

so...uh, good luck with that

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:

He doesn't understand action –> consequence.

My second child isn't afraid of conscequence.

If I spank him, he'll say

"I deserve it, its OK... you can hit me again"

If I give him time out

He will stay in a corner all day if I let him and say he deserves it.

I can take anything away from him and he'll be fine with it.... so I understand when you say this.

So these methods don't work since he doesn't understand discipline... so I just talk to him and stick a routine with him.

he's so much damn work.... but so far I found a solution. For now...

I won't hit my kids. Hitting this child will make us as evil as he accuses us of being.

I prefer to take away the things they love most, bed toys, wii turns etc. However, my child (who is 9) is NOT fine with it, he can be so upset he sobs in his room for HOURS, but STILL doesn't understand what his little 6 year old brother has understood since he was 3.

[Edited 1/28/11 23:35pm]

XxAxX said:

ZombieKitten said:

I'm one of those parents who refuse to impose my horrid trio onto any innocent bystanders, because I know they are unpredictable. There is no way I would spend $200 on a restaurant meal where my kids a) don't eat anything we ordered and b) complain non-stop until we get home, when there is such a thing called McDonalds Drive Thru.

good for you. that's sensible parenting. i 've had restaurant experiences that caused me to wish more people were like you.