Another debate I guess I was watching a tv show and some of the parents were saying how great it was, while others were more old school. Some of the parents slept with their kids when they were babies while others went up to the ages of 5, 6, 7! Personally I don't think parents should allow their kids to sleep with them at night. Kids need to learn from an early age about personal space, and being able to sleep alone. I KNOW I sure as hell am glad I never slept in the same bed as my parents, especially with my daddy farting

What do the rest of y'all think? Is anyone here for it?

mimi2 said:

Another debate I guess I was watching a tv show and some of the parents were saying how great it was, while others were more old school. Some of the parents slept with their kids when they were babies while others went up to the ages of 5, 6, 7! Personally I don't think parents should allow their kids to sleep with them at night. Kids need to learn from an early age about personal space, and being able to sleep alone. I KNOW I sure as hell am glad I never slept in the same bed as my parents, especially with my daddy farting

What do the rest of y'all think? Is anyone here for it?

Well with me it depends. If I had children, I wouldn't mind them coming to my bed if they had a bad dream, or were scared of something. If they need me, then I'm there for them in any capacity I can. Nothin' has to be sick about that.

But yes, I agree children should learn to sleep by themselves. It builds a foundation of independence which will get built on as they grow older. But when they're under the age of 10 I don't see what's the big deal.

Spelling Edit

[Edited 11/30/10 19:57pm]

yes of course i'm for it

physical affection is very important in a child's development i'd say

SherryJackson said:

mimi2 said:

Another debate I guess I was watching a tv show and some of the parents were saying how great it was, while others were more old school. Some of the parents slept with their kids when they were babies while others went up to the ages of 5, 6, 7! Personally I don't think parents should allow their kids to sleep with them at night. Kids need to learn from an early age about personal space, and being able to sleep alone. I KNOW I sure as hell am glad I never slept in the same bed as my parents, especially with my daddy farting

What do the rest of y'all think? Is anyone here for it?

Well with me it depends. If I had children, I wouldn't mind them coming to my bed if they had a bad dream, or were scared of something. If they need me, then I'm there for them in any capacity I can. Nothin' has to be sick about that.

But yes, I agree children should learn to sleep by themselves. It builds a foundation of independence which will get built on as they grow older. But when they're under the age of 10 I don't see what's the bid deal.

What about just going in to check on them and then calming them down so they can go back to sleep? That's what my parents did

Dewrede said:

yes of course i'm for it

physical affection is very important in a child's development i'd say

Can't they get enough physical affection during the day?

If I could, I'd have my baby Max in my bed every night, but he snores even louder than his daddy! and he sweats up a storm Besides, I've heard so many nightmare stories about parents sleeping separately - one with each kid because the kids are too scared to sleep on their own, since they've never done that before.

It's perfectly fine and acceptable, of course. Just ask all the Michael Jackson fans.

ZombieKitten said:

If I could, I'd have my baby Max in my bed every night, but he snores even louder than his daddy! and he sweats up a storm Besides, I've heard so many nightmare stories about parents sleeping separately - one with each kid because the kids are too scared to sleep on their own, since they've never done that before.

Do all babies sweat a lot?

and as you said that's another thing for married parents-sleeping with the kids might put a strain on the relationship as the parents would have less time together alone.

Cerebus said:

It's perfectly fine and acceptable, of course. Just ask all the Michael Jackson fans.

oh no. I should have known someone would go there

mimi2 said:

Cerebus said:

It's perfectly fine and acceptable, of course. Just ask all the Michael Jackson fans.

oh no. I should have known someone would go there

I just went ahead and got it out of the way. Now y'all can carry on as if nothing ever happened.

mimi2 said:

ZombieKitten said:

If I could, I'd have my baby Max in my bed every night, but he snores even louder than his daddy! and he sweats up a storm Besides, I've heard so many nightmare stories about parents sleeping separately - one with each kid because the kids are too scared to sleep on their own, since they've never done that before.

Do all babies sweat a lot?

and as you said that's another thing for married parents-sleeping with the kids might put a strain on the relationship as the parents would have less time together alone.

friends of mine, this particular couple, didn't have sex for 2 years, then somehow miraculously had another kid, and haven't slept together in 3 years now. They guy is BROKEN, I tell you.

My "baby" is 6, and he sweats heavily when he sleeps, apparently that has something to do with his enlarged adenoids and mouth-breathing.

I slept with my mom till I was about 4 or 5. I don't see why it's so shocking.

She used to be concerned about it (whether she was wrong to let me or not) and the woman who used to take care of me while she went to work (she was like my grandmother ) would tell her "Don't worry, he'll get out on his own."...which I did.

One day I just wanted to sleep in my own bedroom.

You know someone lurkin out there goin "see??? That's why he's a homo"

johnart said:

I slept with my mom till I was about 4 or 5. I don't see why it's so shocking.

She used to be concerned about it (whether she was wrong to let me or not) and the woman who used to take care of me while she went to work (she was like my grandmother ) would tell her "Don't worry, he'll get out on his own."...which I did.

One day I just wanted to sleep in my own bedroom.

You know someone lurkin out there goin "see??? That's why he's a homo"

Actually, I was thinkin', "so that's why he's a mama's boy." No, seriously though, up to kindergarden age I think it's perfectly normal. Isn't it? But when you start gettin' up there to like eight, nine and ten, that's a little funky.

ZombieKitten said:

mimi2 said:

Do all babies sweat a lot?

and as you said that's another thing for married parents-sleeping with the kids might put a strain on the relationship as the parents would have less time together alone.

friends of mine, this particular couple, didn't have sex for 2 years, then somehow miraculously had another kid, and haven't slept together in 3 years now. They guy is BROKEN, I tell you.

My "baby" is 6, and he sweats heavily when he sleeps, apparently that has something to do with his enlarged adenoids and mouth-breathing.

I can't imagine too many men that would be able to handle that Your friend's husband is a devoted family man

johnart said:

I slept with my mom till I was about 4 or 5. I don't see why it's so shocking.

She used to be concerned about it (whether she was wrong to let me or not) and the woman who used to take care of me while she went to work (she was like my grandmother ) would tell her "Don't worry, he'll get out on his own."...which I did.

One day I just wanted to sleep in my own bedroom.

You know someone lurkin out there goin "see??? That's why he's a homo"

Do you know if your mother slept with her parents as a kid? Or why your mom wanted to sleep with you?

Do you remember the day you decided to sleep alone? Was it just a "I'm a big boy now!" kind of day ?

My son slept in his own bed until he was about 2 1/2 and we went on a 2 week vacation. He slept in the bed with me on the trip and it just became a habit. He has slept in his own bed sometimes, but he usually stays with me.

He's 5. But he knows that he will be back in his own bed when we get to the new house in January.

I think its fine for me...I will probably have my baby in the bed with me because I'm to scared not to. I think co-sleeping is fine if it works. I slept with my mom until I was about 3, after that I would venture into the bed with one of my older siblings until I was like 6 or 7. And one day, I wanted to sleep alone and have been that way since then. I don't see any long term problems. Except in the area of mom and dad getting busy...now that can be an issue. So I guess it just depends on the couple and what they agree on. I know alot of people that do natural parenting(co-sleeping, homeschooling, cloth diapering, baby wearing, etc.) so its not that big a deal to me.

JustErin said:

My son slept in his own bed until he was about 2 1/2 and we went on a 2 week vacation. He slept in the bed with me on the trip and it just became a habit. He has slept in his own bed sometimes, but he usually stays with me.

He's 5. But he knows that he will be back in his own bed when we get to the new house in January.

So the times when he sleeps by himself, do you know if he sleeps just as well as when he's with you?

DaphneLovesPR1NCE said:

I think its fine for me...I will probably have my baby in the bed with me because I'm to scared not to. I think co-sleeping is fine if it works. I slept with my mom until I was about 3, after that I would venture into the bed with one of my older siblings until I was like 6 or 7. And one day, I wanted to sleep alone and have been that way since then. I don't see any long term problems. Except in the area of mom and dad getting busy...now that can be an issue. So I guess it just depends on the couple and what they agree on. I know alot of people that do natural parenting(co-sleeping, homeschooling, cloth diapering, baby wearing, etc.) so its not that big a deal to me.

If you have a husband/bf when you have a baby, what would you say if your guy didn't want the baby to sleep with you?

mimi2 said:

JustErin said:

My son slept in his own bed until he was about 2 1/2 and we went on a 2 week vacation. He slept in the bed with me on the trip and it just became a habit. He has slept in his own bed sometimes, but he usually stays with me.

He's 5. But he knows that he will be back in his own bed when we get to the new house in January.

So the times when he sleeps by himself, do you know if he sleeps just as well as when he's with you?

He sleeps fine. He would just rather be with me...and to be honest, I like having him there as well. I lived in a 3 bedroom house so it's not like we had to stay together.

My daughter slept in bed with my wife and I until she was about 4, then we weened her to her own bed.

I do notice it sometimes takes my daughter a while now to fall asleep on her own. She's not afraid or anything, but she generally is never ready for bedtime and engages with books, stuffed animals, etc., instead of just winding down and relaxing. Eventually, though, she falls asleep. My wife and I still let her sleep in our bed when one or the other of us is out of town, and when we do, barring end-of-the-day debriefing, she is out like a light the minute her head hits the pillow.

It's no big deal to me. She's a MONSTROUS bed hog, but I enjoy having her close.

My daughter never slept in the bed with us. There may have been an odd time here and there on road trips, but we never got her started on it and she never insisted. Worked out for everyone.

If my 10yr old son wakes up (Its my fault...I let him watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy with me and his older brother recently and Gollum has him freaked!) he runs straight for my bed.

When his 8 yr old sister joins us, we look like the grandparents from Willy Wonka...two to one side, two to the other.

I have no problem with it.

Noooooooo!!!!

This is something I could not put up with. I spend a lot of time with my kids during daylight hours and if I didn't have child-free space at bedtime I'd go fucking mad!!

At weekends my kids come and climb into bed with us in the morning and I can handle that, but I have never and would never be able to put up with them sleeping in my bed.

My sister and brother-in-law have always let their son sleep in their bed. They've just had another baby and now they're trying to get their son to sleep in his own bed. Unsurprisingly he's not having any of it. The poor boy feels like he's being pushed away in favour of his baby brother.

Do kids really need to be sleeping in the same bed as their parents, or is it really for the parents benefit?

When my daughter was a baby/toddler she would have trouble sleeping on her own and we brought her into bed with us a lot, she would then sleep like a log and we would get a decent night sleep too. It wasn’t every night but most nights, me and her dad never had a problem with it only when she got too big it had to stop. When she started to take up most of the bed and start using us like pillows, we'll wake up with arms in our faces, her snoring and dribble away in our ears, only scrapings of the duvet over your shoulder or none at all while its wrapped around her 10 times, she so had to go but it proved to be cool she was happy to sleep in her bed permanently by then, only coming in say once every two weeks or weekends until it completely stopped. My other daughter we had no problem with her sleeping since the day she was born, she would sleep for 12 hours at any time anywhere any place!

There grown women now and we all look back and laugh at things like this. I think having your child in bed with u or not is just a personal choice and it depends on the child. Its whatever u or ur child is happy with.

My son is 13 months and has spent about 2 hours in total sleeping in our bed since he was born. We went to his own room at 5 weeks. He HATES our room, refuses to sleep in it.

I think it might be because our room is a bit lighter than his bedroom that is as dark as a cave.

I never wanted to have a baby/child sleeping in our bed every night due to the horror stories of sharing a bed and not getting a restful nights sleep.

I guess you have to watch what you wish for. I would love to take a nap with him but it doesn't look like it is going to happen.

As soon as he comes in to our room he wants to play. Even if he wakes early and we bring him in with us, he refuses to go back to sleep.

He loves his bed and sleeps very well in it, I am thankful for that.

I slept with my parents until I was about four or five. Mainly because I was scared. But after I decided to sleep in the bed that we had at the time in my room, I never slept with them again. It depends.

Kids will do what they are used to doing. If you from day one get your kids used to their cribs/beds then they will not really seek you at night for comfort.

But, if you have your baby accustomed to your body heat and touch during the night, the baby will need that for comfort. So as they age you will have to "break" that and the child will suffer until the child adjusts.

So I had all my children used to sleeping in a crib as babies. They didn't suffer developmentally since they recieve tons of physical affection from me during the day.

Also for me, its a matter of comfort. I don't like all the elbows knees and little toes everywhere flopping all over the bed. My kids have slept with me during severe thunderstorms, and in the middle of the night I would just get up from my bed and sleep on the couch because they sleep wild.

So no, my kids don't sleep with me at all, and that's how I like it. I'd go nuts if they slept in my bed. I don't knock parents who have their kids in their beds, its all a matter of comfort.

BTW, some parents like the comfort of their kids to be in their beds, they like to snuggle with their kids.

^ My dad and mom were in difference over me sleeping with them.

My dad didn't want me in there because I would always move around and nearly push him out of the bed.

My mom didn't mind it because I didn't mind her snuggling with me.

After five though, that stopped.

Timmy84 said:

^

After five though, that stopped.

Yeah my daughter probably stopped around that time too or even a bit earlier. It never caused my daughter any problems to then sleep on her own, she was happy to sleep in her own room with her sister by then. Looking back I quite liked having my girl in bed with me. I look back on them days with fond memories. When they’re little it doesn’t last forever and before u know it they’ve flown the nest.

My best mate has a 3 and 4 year old now and will not let them sleep with her at all!

Me and my first son slept together on the couch for the first year he was here. Well more like he slept, and I sat there and held him all night.

Anyways, after I FINALLY broke him of it, and got him falling asleep on his own in his crib, I VOWED NEVER AGAIN, will I have a kid who won't sleep on their own, so my daughter was in her room in her crib from day one.

When my kids are scared or have a bad dream, they crawl into bed with me, but thats it. Or sometimes whem I'M scared I'll get my 7 year old son out of bed and tell him to come get in my bed. But other than that, that is it!

I think this all is a matter of choice, and I suspect there isn't intrinsically some great longterm harm or benefit to the child either way in most cases.

Some dude named James McKenna, director of U. Notre Dame's Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab was on CBC Radio recently, and he suggested that co-sleeping had a number of positive biological effects, including sleep/wake pattern synchronization and comfort responses to smell and touch in both parent and child. And in children, the benefits extended to include better regulation of breathing, temperature, stress hormone levels, immune system function, oxygen circulation... even calorie absorption! And this all is quite natural, apparently: Globally, the vast majority of parents do co-sleep with their children, and that's been the evolutionary standard among humans until only very, very recently. But I think we're seeing that kids also can get along well enough on their own.

The real drawback in co-sleeping is not with children's later difficutly in sleeping alone. Some odd cases aside, that's something they routinely get over in pretty short order. We can't expect to kick kids out of our beds on a given day and have them sleep soundly the very next night. But if we will afford them latitude to shape their own sleeptime ritual (like with my daughter's in-bed reading or stuffed animal play), they usually manage in their own time. The greater danger these days is unsafe co-sleeping environments. Especially where infants are concerned, we often conk out with them on sofas, for example, which is almost always considered unsafe. Also our beds now are adorned in thousands of pillows, cushions, throws and layers of thick cover -- all potentially risky. And we are far more restless adult sleepers, too, owing to overstimulated lifestyles and a diet of substances that screw up both our and/or our babies' restfulness and rousing response. This can be a hazard if we sleep so wildly that there's a chance we could roll over on them or pin them against a wall adjacent to the bed and they, in turn, aren't regulated enough to wake themselves.

[Edited 12/1/10 8:22am]

I some times wonder why my son will not sleep anywhere but his own bed. I breast fed and did the skin on skin contact when he was first born.

He tends to be pretty independent with some things like wanting to feed himself. He never let me swaddle him when he was small. He is not big on being comforted when he hurts himself or does not feel well. He wants a quick hug or pat that he is ok and then he is off to deal with it himself.

Babies/children are funny little creatures. No two are alike.

I still hope to take a cuddly nap with my son, some day.