Okay, so what do aunts and uncles do about this?

I have one nephew, in particular, who is turning into an awful kid. Manipulative. Obnoxious. And now, instead of doing the necessary behavioral modification work (for the entire family), my sister is about to take him to a counselor, have him diagnosed with ADD and, most likely, drugged.

This boy is 10 years old - and still crawls into bed with his parents at night. His diet is terrible (his dad weighs at least 300 pounds and my nephew is well on that path). He throws crying tantrums (seriously).

I just want to shake my sister, but she's at her wits' end with the kid as it is.

If I thought it were just the beginning of an awkward stage, I'd chalk it up to that. But this kid is going to have a terrible time of it if he keeps going like this.

i have a cousin that was just like that as a child, and his parents ended up trying to buy his love in the end. didn't work. i don't know what the answer is for this?

yuuuuuuuuum, drugs!

I know a lot of people think the meds for ADHD are bad, but let me tell you, when you see a child that is so hyper he's bouncing off walls, can't focus, can't be still, and you give them a drug (basically meth, speed) that would normally make people act hyper and you see them actually able to focus for a minute, it's a huge cue that something is wrong with that biology. I did the counseling too, but a big problem is getting a person (a child!) to see they have a problem, let alone trying to explain to them how to fix it, especially when those obnoxious behaviors bring them they attention they are desperately craving.

Now diet is on the parents, there is no excuse for something that can't buy its own food to be obese...

As fr the tantrums, and attention seeking behaviors, I put my foot down (and sometimes up) with that shit and let him know in no uncertain terms I was not playing that. He respects that with me. The hard part is other people will coddle him (schools, day cares, grandmas) and then I have to be extra strict disciplinarian with him.

My other nieces are grown, but having issues, and all I can do is tell them what I always told them and let them live their lives. When he is grown I will be like, sayonara, go live your life, and know I gave you the tools to have a good one if you so choose.

Hell I was at my wit's end too....boarding school saved my sanity!!

BklynBabe said:

yuuuuuuuuum, drugs!

I know a lot of people think the meds for ADHD are bad, but let me tell you, when you see a child that is so hyper he's bouncing off walls, can't focus, can't be still, and you give them a drug (basically meth, speed) that would normally make people act hyper and you see them actually able to focus for a minute, it's a huge cue that something is wrong with that biology. I did the counseling too, but a big problem is getting a person (a child!) to see they have a problem, let alone trying to explain to them how to fix it, especially when those obnoxious behaviors bring them they attention they are desperately craving.

Now diet is on the parents, there is no excuse for something that can't buy its own food to be obese...

As fr the tantrums, and attention seeking behaviors, I put my foot down (and sometimes up) with that shit and let him know in no uncertain terms I was not playing that. He respects that with me. The hard part is other people will coddle him (schools, day cares, grandmas) and then I have to be extra strict disciplinarian with him.

My other nieces are grown, but having issues, and all I can do is tell them what I always told them and let them live their lives. When he is grown I will be like, sayonara, go live your life, and know I gave you the tools to have a good one if you so choose.

Hell I was at my wit's end too....boarding school saved my sanity!!

My nephew does not have an impaired attention span. He's a spoiled brat. Period.

I highlighted the part above because what happens with my nephew is, any time someone other than his mother tells him to shape the fuck up, he does this "storm to his room while fake crying" act. And then...my sister gets mad at the person who told him to knock it off. (On Sunday, she almost threw our parents out of her house - where they're staying while they're in town - because our dad told my nephew he was being a jerk and he was sick of it.)

She's getting played. And the kid is just loooooving the power.

There does need to be consistency in parenting! Kids do love to be spoiled, and act spoiled. I usually get the opposite effect where people that first meet him want to spoil him and then when he acts up want to call me 24-7, when I told them from jump not to spoil him. But I do let people "discipline" him when he treats them bad (they will discuss it with me first, of course), and not take his shit!

My sister would have probably acted like your sister. And I probably would have been just as annoyed.

It's bad enough if they do have a behavioral issue, and it's worsened by enabling!

try this....

CHIC0 said:

try this....

I always wish I could carry that on airplanes - and dose kids on the sly.

Genesia said:

CHIC0 said:

try this....

I always wish I could carry that on airplanes - and dose kids on the sly.

LoL.

i was watching my youngest niece a couple weeks ago. she's almost two. i don't think my patience has ever been tried so hard in my life. she's a little bad with an angel's smile.

I on board with the foot up. Some kids simply need the shit kicked outta them.

Genesia said:

BklynBabe said:

yuuuuuuuuum, drugs!

I know a lot of people think the meds for ADHD are bad, but let me tell you, when you see a child that is so hyper he's bouncing off walls, can't focus, can't be still, and you give them a drug (basically meth, speed) that would normally make people act hyper and you see them actually able to focus for a minute, it's a huge cue that something is wrong with that biology. I did the counseling too, but a big problem is getting a person (a child!) to see they have a problem, let alone trying to explain to them how to fix it, especially when those obnoxious behaviors bring them they attention they are desperately craving.

Now diet is on the parents, there is no excuse for something that can't buy its own food to be obese...

As fr the tantrums, and attention seeking behaviors, I put my foot down (and sometimes up) with that shit and let him know in no uncertain terms I was not playing that. He respects that with me. The hard part is other people will coddle him (schools, day cares, grandmas) and then I have to be extra strict disciplinarian with him.

My other nieces are grown, but having issues, and all I can do is tell them what I always told them and let them live their lives. When he is grown I will be like, sayonara, go live your life, and know I gave you the tools to have a good one if you so choose.

Hell I was at my wit's end too....boarding school saved my sanity!!

My nephew does not have an impaired attention span. He's a spoiled brat. Period.

I highlighted the part above because what happens with my nephew is, any time someone other than his mother tells him to shape the fuck up, he does this "storm to his room while fake crying" act. And then...my sister gets mad at the person who told him to knock it off. (On Sunday, she almost threw our parents out of her house - where they're staying while they're in town - because our dad told my nephew he was being a jerk and he was sick of it.)

She's getting played. And the kid is just loooooving the power.

Shyra said:

I on board with the foot up. Some kids simply need the shit kicked outta them.

wtf

i hope you don't ever ever become a parent

[Edited 9/21/10 16:55pm]

There's really nothing to be done.

All you can do (and your parents as well) is do what you know to be right. All you have control of are your actions and reactions.

It's a totally sucky situation. It's so awful watching the series of events that will inevitably add up to a disaster and you love all those involved, so that makes it even worse.

Genesia said:

CHIC0 said:

try this....

I always wish I could carry that on airplanes - and dose kids on the sly.

It should come in blowdart form for travel.

johnart said:

Genesia said:

I always wish I could carry that on airplanes - and dose kids on the sly.

It should come in blowdart form for travel.

Dewrede said:

Shyra said:

I on board with the foot up. Some kids simply need the shit kicked outta them.

wtf

i hope you don't ever ever become a parent

[Edited 9/21/10 16:55pm]

Your hopes are answered. By the way, having the shit kicked out of you does not need to taken literally...