So it finally had to happen. My org life collided with my real life.

My 'ex' read my thread about exes. I think he has a new girlfriend and she was snooping me out on the internet, found the thread, and forwarded it to him. I have no idea how she found it or why. She was probably successful in destroying my relationship with him, which until recently has been quite strong. That probably was her intention.

I've been in a lot of pain over this all day.

I see so many of you share intimate details about your lives and relationships. How do you do it without hurting others?

The world is too transparent now. Everyone is on the internet, social networking, etc.

I think I will be deleting my account. Will it delete all the history? Sad because I have made so many good friends here, and been able to have honest conversations for six years. I don't know how I'll replace that.

so now he knows how you feel, you spelled it out! You won't have to worry about him wanting to be more than friends any more, since he will have to nurse his ego for a time. This new girlfriend seems a bit of a nutter, and hopefully he reads this too and realises that before it's too late for him! :-O

I'd like to know too, how you were traced to here - you don't use your name here right? very odd.

ZombieKitten said:

so now he knows how you feel, you spelled it out! You won't have to worry about him wanting to be more than friends any more, since he will have to nurse his ego for a time. This new girlfriend seems a bit of a nutter, and hopefully he reads this too and realises that before it's too late for him! :-O

I'd like to know too, how you were traced to here - you don't use your name here right? very odd.

I agree, why are you going to such drastic measures (deleting your account) when it sounds to me like you should be relieved that your ex now knows what you wanted him to know?

What good will deleting your account do anyway?

I'll take "He's your Ex for a reason for $500 Alex..."

This is the perfect time to make that "Move on..." final.

A big to his new heifer for snooping but I wouldn't be too about this...

If there is one thing those two doofi WILL see is how much we you being here!!

I don't know how I was traced! He knew I was very active on this site. I may have uttered my login name to him once, but didn't think he cared enough to investigate. He seemed to respect my privacy here. He must have been talking about me to this person and told her about it. Maybe he told her my org name? I told him he should be aware of someone who would deliberately create this kind of damage and hurt.

Wow, that girlfriend is an internet stalker. I feel sorry for him because having a woman like that will only bite him in the ass in the future.

.... but how did she connect this idenity with your real one? Wow.

The truth about her intentions will surface also, in time.. you'll see. Her need for control will be her own undoing. I am sorry you are hurt.

I share too much of myself sometimes... but if my people IRL see what I share it will only show them what I have already expressed to them.

Block that heffer from all your accounts. FB, Twitter etc. She seems evil.

RenHoek said:

those two doofi

that's a fantastic word. i applaud you, sir.

RenHoek said:

I'll take "He's your Ex for a reason for $500 Alex..."

This is the perfect time to make that "Move on..." final.

A big to his new heifer for snooping but I wouldn't be too about this...

If there is one thing those two doofi WILL see is how much we you being here!!

heartbeatocean , we do luv you being here... I always enjoy your posts.

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

so now he knows how you feel, you spelled it out! You won't have to worry about him wanting to be more than friends any more, since he will have to nurse his ego for a time. This new girlfriend seems a bit of a nutter, and hopefully he reads this too and realises that before it's too late for him! :-O

I'd like to know too, how you were traced to here - you don't use your name here right? very odd.

I agree, why are you going to such drastic measures (deleting your account) when it sounds to me like you should be relieved that your ex now knows what you wanted him to know?

What good will deleting your account do anyway?

a) Honestly, I wasn't ready for him to hear it, especially in such a blunt way. I was voicing my feelings and working it out. I wanted some more distinct separation but I did not want there to be hurt and ill will between us. I don't think it's appropriate that he read that thread because it wasn't meant for him. It's destructive.

b) Now that my org life and real life have officially crossed each other, it's contaminated. I have said all kinds of things on this site that I wouldn't want people to hear. I have always approached it as anonymous and private and worked hard to keep the worlds separate to avoid this happening. But in this day and age, it's impossible. I like being able to be honest in a way that I can't always be with people in my life. I have found a lot of support here, to say the least. Deleting my account will prevent others in my life, whom I love, from tracing me here.

RenHoek said:

I'll take "He's your Ex for a reason for $500 Alex..."

This is the perfect time to make that "Move on..." final.

A big to his new heifer for snooping but I wouldn't be too about this...

If there is one thing those two doofi WILL see is how much we you being here!!

thank you

the ironic thing is, I almost stopped visiting this site altogether! I only posted on here 2-3 times a month! Then one week ago, I came back with a couple of questions. BAM! Five days later I was caught. Weird.

Ah well, what's done is done...I wouldn't personally let someone control my life like that (deleting your account).

You know what? This kind of thing pisses me off to the umpteenth degree!
Not YOU, but the whole concept of havnig to worry about what we say all the time.

It's BULLshit!!! Bullshit I tell ya!

I've thought about this while launching a business. I know my posts are traceable.

I've decided that at some point I've got to quit giving a shit about what people think or figuring that folk who can't deal with my "ways" are just maybe not meant to be a part of my life.

I'm sorry this whole internet thing complicated things for ya.

heartbeatocean said:

sextonseven said:

I agree, why are you going to such drastic measures (deleting your account) when it sounds to me like you should be relieved that your ex now knows what you wanted him to know?

What good will deleting your account do anyway?

a) Honestly, I wasn't ready for him to hear it, especially in such a blunt way. I was voicing my feelings and working it out. I wanted some more distinct separation but I did not want there to be hurt and ill will between us. I don't think it's appropriate that he read that thread because it wasn't meant for him. It's destructive.

b) Now that my org life and real life have officially crossed each other, it's contaminated. I have said all kinds of things on this site that I wouldn't want people to hear. I have always approached it as anonymous and private and worked hard to keep the worlds separate to avoid this happening. But in this day and age, it's impossible. I like being able to be honest in a way that I can't always be with people in my life. I have found a lot of support here, to say the least. Deleting my account will prevent others in my life, whom I love, from tracing me here.

It will? Everything you have posted will still be here. Deleting your account will only stop yourself from posting any new personal info.

paintedlady said:

Wow, that girlfriend is an internet stalker. I feel sorry for him because having a woman like that will only bite him in the ass in the future.

.... but how did she connect this idenity with your real one? Wow.

The truth about her intentions will surface also, in time.. you'll see. Her need for control will be her own undoing. I am sorry you are hurt.

I share too much of myself sometimes... but if my people IRL see what I share it will only show them what I have already expressed to them.

Block that heffer from all your accounts. FB, Twitter etc. She seems evil.

Good idea. I don't have her name, just her email, which looks like a porn name.

whistle said:

RenHoek said:

those two doofi

that's a fantastic word. i applaud you, sir.

oh, I thought it was a typo

paintedlady said:

RenHoek said:

I'll take "He's your Ex for a reason for $500 Alex..."

This is the perfect time to make that "Move on..." final.

A big to his new heifer for snooping but I wouldn't be too about this...

If there is one thing those two doofi WILL see is how much we you being here!!

heartbeatocean , we do luv you being here... I always enjoy your posts.

aw thank you

JustErin said:

Ah well, what's done is done...I wouldn't personally let someone control my life like that (deleting your account).

trying to control my life better

heartbeatocean said:

paintedlady said:

Block that heffer from all your accounts. FB, Twitter etc. She seems evil.

Good idea. I don't have her name, just her email, which looks like a porn name.

Oh! so this bitch is just playing games with you?

Now see, if old dude can't tell you her name then don't sweat what he thinks. It seems like he's holding you to a standard that he himself isn't ready to do himself.

They can kiss your ass, I know you didn't want to hurt them, but it was on him for opening Pandora's box. He should have respected your privacy, he can't hold that against you at all.

He's a dummy and he engaged in some juvenile behavior if he came back at you with this instead of telling the new lady in his life to let well enough alone since he moved on already.

paintedlady said:

heartbeatocean said:

Good idea. I don't have her name, just her email, which looks like a porn name.

Oh! so this bitch is just playing games with you?

Now see, if old dude can't tell you her name then don't sweat what he thinks. It seems like he's holding you to a standard that he himself isn't ready to do himself.

They can kiss your ass, I know you didn't want to hurt them, but it was on him for opening Pandora's box. He should have respected your privacy, he can't hold that against you at all.

He's a dummy and he engaged in some juvenile behavior if he came back at you with this instead of telling the new lady in his life to let well enough alone since he moved on already.

honestly, I don't know what the f is going on. He forwards me an email from someone calling him "sweet one" saying "I thought you should see this" with a link to the thread. There is no name, but I can see the email address which is pinkerbella@att.net I didn't know he was seeing anyone. But doesn't that sound like a porn name?

heartbeatocean said:

paintedlady said:

Oh! so this bitch is just playing games with you?

Now see, if old dude can't tell you her name then don't sweat what he thinks. It seems like he's holding you to a standard that he himself isn't ready to do himself.

They can kiss your ass, I know you didn't want to hurt them, but it was on him for opening Pandora's box. He should have respected your privacy, he can't hold that against you at all.

He's a dummy and he engaged in some juvenile behavior if he came back at you with this instead of telling the new lady in his life to let well enough alone since he moved on already.

honestly, I don't know what the f is going on. He forwards me an email from someone calling him "sweet one" saying "I thought you should see this" with a link to the thread. There is no name, but I can see the email address which is pinkerbella@att.net I didn't know he was seeing anyone. But doesn't that sound like a porn name?

Sounds like an alter email addy. She may be on the org now. If you find out who she is you can always block her and stay on private.

Its a bitchass move on his part if he pays any attention to anything said that is NOT brought to him face to face. I never sweat what people say about me (if it isn't said TO me), I just laugh it off.

I mean, if he pays attention to stuff that people write incognito as a personal attack then he is just too damn sensitive.

Most people "vent" here ... and that's how he should have taken it. That being said, do what you feel is best, but I'm telling you... if she got this account she may have other stuff. Best to face this stuff head on and have the mods deal with her.

Don't sweat it! If she felt the need to be snooping through his computer, they probably had trust issues anyway

No need to delete your account now. If it makes you uncomfortable, just be more cautious of what you share in the future

heartbeatocean said:

whistle said:

that's a fantastic word. i applaud you, sir.

oh, I thought it was a typo

it just sounded so much more appropriate than doofus'...

you know, like cactii... doofi!

johnart said:

You know what? This kind of thing pisses me off to the umpteenth degree!
Not YOU, but the whole concept of havnig to worry about what we say all the time.

It's BULLshit!!! Bullshit I tell ya!

I've thought about this while launching a business. I know my posts are traceable.

I've decided that at some point I've got to quit giving a shit about what people think or figuring that folk who can't deal with my "ways" are just maybe not meant to be a part of my life.

I'm sorry this whole internet thing complicated things for ya.

I feel you on that one!!

If any of my clients were to discover some of the stuff I post online the experience would be...

JARRING!!!

zing!

RenHoek said:

johnart said:

You know what? This kind of thing pisses me off to the umpteenth degree!
Not YOU, but the whole concept of havnig to worry about what we say all the time.

It's BULLshit!!! Bullshit I tell ya!

I've thought about this while launching a business. I know my posts are traceable.

I've decided that at some point I've got to quit giving a shit about what people think or figuring that folk who can't deal with my "ways" are just maybe not meant to be a part of my life.

I'm sorry this whole internet thing complicated things for ya.

I feel you on that one!!

If any of my clients were to discover some of the stuff I post online the experience would be...

JARRING!!!

zing!

It can happen and probably will. It'll be the National Enquirer of RenHoek. But who can you sue?

RenHoek said:

johnart said:

You know what? This kind of thing pisses me off to the umpteenth degree!
Not YOU, but the whole concept of havnig to worry about what we say all the time.

It's BULLshit!!! Bullshit I tell ya!

I've thought about this while launching a business. I know my posts are traceable.

I've decided that at some point I've got to quit giving a shit about what people think or figuring that folk who can't deal with my "ways" are just maybe not meant to be a part of my life.

I'm sorry this whole internet thing complicated things for ya.

I feel you on that one!!

If any of my clients were to discover some of the stuff I post online the experience would be...

JARRING!!!

zing!

So are we having brunch on Sunday, or WHAT is going on?

paintedlady said:

heartbeatocean said:

honestly, I don't know what the f is going on. He forwards me an email from someone calling him "sweet one" saying "I thought you should see this" with a link to the thread. There is no name, but I can see the email address which is pinkerbella@att.net I didn't know he was seeing anyone. But doesn't that sound like a porn name?

Sounds like an alter email addy. She may be on the org now. If you find out who she is you can always block her and stay on private.

Its a bitchass move on his part if he pays any attention to anything said that is NOT brought to him face to face. I never sweat what people say about me (if it isn't said TO me), I just laugh it off.

I mean, if he pays attention to stuff that people write incognito as a personal attack then he is just too damn sensitive.

Most people "vent" here ... and that's how he should have taken it. That being said, do what you feel is best, but I'm telling you... if she got this account she may have other stuff. Best to face this stuff head on and have the mods deal with her.

maybe he was spying on me and created this alter addy himself

Deleting your account will not delete everything (or anything) you've posted on here. It's here for good. That's the internet. Once you put it out there, it's there FOREVER. Even sites like archive.org are constantly archiving the internet and it'll be there. Deleting your account would be cowardly and caving to whatever drama. Stand up to it, and tell 'em to fuck off.

Yes, everyone is on the internet. What folks need to learn is what I said - once you put something out there, it's there FOREVER. That's FOREVER. Whether it's girls sending pics of their tits on a cell phone, or whatever. It's FOREVER. Know that, and post cautiously in whatever you do.

But live your life honestly, and openly and no one can ever hurt you. The truth is yours, not theirs.

whistle said:

RenHoek said:

those two doofi

that's a fantastic word. i applaud you, sir.

In Germany, that word is soooooo 1970s ( I probably say that because it´s children´s language).

The same thing happened to me back in December.

A woman claiming to be my (now ex-) BFs "real gf" started emailing me accusing me and saying all kinds of things from two different email addresses.

I had to block her on MySpace, AOL, Photobucket, and HERE. She set up an account and started posting- this person's comment always seemed directed at me and my posts. It suddenly dawned on me what her screen name stood for, and I reported her. I don't know if that made a difference, but a few days later her account was closed.

My FB is from another email address and not actual name in case she decides to look for me again.

I know it hurts... trust me. There are some sick, desperate people out there.

He'll live... and he'll learn about her soon enough.