First I read Fenwick's thread about What The Heck Is Wrong With People?.

I then listened to the J-Ril Show last night with their subject on What's In it For Me?.

It dawned on me (although not the first time), that between technology, over-saturation of self-important shit to do, and just general selfishness, society, at least here in America, has lost a lot of its compassion and kindness. We can't be bothered. Are we just selfish? Have we been burned too many times helping someone before? Is the payoff not enough to put out the effort? Even twenty years ago, we knew who our neighbors were. We know who lived on either side of us, under us, behind us, and over us. We weren't necessarily nosey, we just knew where we were in the world, and who & what surrounded us. Nowadays, it might be a challenge for any of us to name even three neighbors.

I decided I want to explore this topic even more. So this week Fenwick, and a couple of other Orgers, and hopefully another guest, will join me on the show for an hour long discussion on kindness and compassion. All the above questions will be approached, and tackled. Fenwick will personally recount his story, and others will tell why they don't help folks out as much as they used to. I'm not sure what end or resolution we'll reach, if any, but the discussion needs to start back up again.

Join us, won't you? Add to the discussion, tell your story about being burned, or even someone being kind to you and helping you out in a desperate time or emergency state.

When: August 19, 2010, 9 p.m. Eastern/8 Central

Where: The Ernest Experience Radio Show

Call In/or Listen by Phone: 1.347.746.EERS (3377)

Who: Ernest, Fenwick, the panel, and YOU

See you there!

Yep, this country died after 1782...

JoeTyler said:

I cannot comment on this as I've given up objectification.

I don't think we've lost our ability for compassion or kindness but I think today's society rewards selfishness, and that's a big problem. Selfishness spreads fast since selfish people burn others, who eventually get so cynical from having been burnt so many times that they too become selfish. It's like an out of control virus.

I also think people today are much more likely than earlier generations to seek the minimum resistance in their lives. If something is a challenge, they bail out. If a conflict arises, they run for the hills. If a friend is "high maintenace", they get cut off.

It's really sad.

retina said:

Number23 said:

retina said:

I don't think we've lost our ability for compassion or kindness but I think today's society rewards selfishness, and that's a big problem. Selfishness spreads fast since selfish people burn others, who eventually get so cynical from having been burnt so many times that they too become selfish. It's like an out of control virus.

I also think people today are much more likely than earlier generations to seek the minimum resistance in their lives. If something is a challenge, they bail out. If a conflict arises, they run for the hills. If a friend is "high maintenace", they get cut off.

It's really sad.

Has it ever been different? Apart from in movies, I mean.

Yeah, I think it's gotten worse. Even during our relatively short life times. And when I talk to older generations, the shift is even more clear (and I honestly don't think that's because they view their youth/lives through rose-tinted glass; it actually was different back then).

One major culprit is the new technology. It makes us aware of what others are doing and their success stresses us out, and makes us feel more competetive. It makes us fearful of many things since we see and hear about so much crap happening to people, and that in turn makes us protective of ourselves. Plus it isolates us, which causes social skills to deteriorate. And with the physical distance between people the emotional distance seems to be growing as well.

At least that's my take on it.

This should be fun. But to be honest, we still have some levels of compassion and kindness in this world.

'Have We Lost Our Ability for Compassion & Kindness?'

No.

By nature I'm an eternal optimist. I find some of use have allowed others via the idiot box / TV to paint us a portrait of what they want us to see/believe. I say get up, get involved, and do something and for many ones perspective will change. A lot of people who lament over other's indifference do so because they aren't doing anything and assume others aren't either. (IMHO) You can't worry about whether others do are don't if you see a need, then step -up. Ivy and I spoke of this last Sat. I told her, I'm convinced most people are good and decent, it's just we've allowed a small minority to bend our thinking and change our society in a way that keeps us apart. Or, we've allowed others to manipulate our fears and insecurities to their advantage. We must be strong and courageous to look within ourselves as well, even when when our own behavior/ethics/thoughts are questionable. Even so, take the first step to extend your hand, smile and introduce yourself, not everyone will respond but many will. just my two cents.

Trina

[Edited 8/15/10 0:31am]

I don't think many people ever had it, throughout the millenia.

not imo. humans have never been very compassionate. I'm always survived that people yearn for the good old days, when things weren't that good at all...

[Edited 8/14/10 16:25pm]

BlackAdder7 said:

JoeTyler said:

I cannot comment on this as I've given up objectification.

Europe died after the year 476 ...

That's so weird. A couple of hours ago I wrote about this same topic on my blog. I am just so disappointed at all the ugliness.

rnljs said:

That's so weird. A couple of hours ago I wrote about this same topic on my blog. I am just so disappointed at all the ugliness.

Then def take a listen to the show, and call in if you want to add your to the discussion.

rnljs said:

That's so weird. A couple of hours ago I wrote about this same topic on my blog. I am just so disappointed at all the ugliness.

There is nothing new under the sun.

Lack of compassion has been with us throughout the ages.

As has tremendous acts of kindness, compassion, love, faith and heroics.

Nothinbutjoy said:

There is nothing new under the sun.

Lack of compassion has been with us throughout the ages.

As has tremendous acts of kindness, compassion, love, faith and heroics.

we just hear about every little thing now, thanks to non-stop media coverage!

ZombieKitten said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

There is nothing new under the sun.

Lack of compassion has been with us throughout the ages.

As has tremendous acts of kindness, compassion, love, faith and heroics.

we just hear about every little thing now, thanks to non-stop media coverage!

retina said:

I don't think we've lost our ability for compassion or kindness but I think today's society rewards selfishness, and that's a big problem. Selfishness spreads fast since selfish people burn others, who eventually get so cynical from having been burnt so many times that they too become selfish. It's like an out of control virus.

I also think people today are much more likely than earlier generations to seek the minimum resistance in their lives. If something is a challenge, they bail out. If a conflict arises, they run for the hills. If a friend is "high maintenace", they get cut off.

It's really sad.

ITA

I believe that things are bad because of colonialism and imperialism. When Europeans left their continent in order to force others to accept their way of life or die, it all went downhill from there and has been getting worse ever since. Western societies are extremely competitive and greedy now. The global recession was created by rich, greedy Westerners. They already have power and money to burn, but that wasn't enough. They had to get more and screw everybody else. Most Western societies are made up of individuals, while Non-Western societies consist of communities. Unfortunately, Non-Western societies are changing because they can't succeed if they don't compete with the West. Nobody wants to live in a third-world country.

Things will probably get much worse before they get better. With the way things are going now, I wonder if this will force the masses to eventually come together. Then they will be able to rebel against the people in power that support this messed up system of hurting people in order to get to the top.

I gotta admit that I've always felt more compassion & kindness for animals, just because I see them powerless, pure and noble; one of the highlights of my life, so far, was the afternoon I rescued a bunch of trapped fishes who were running out of air near the shore,... I helped them to get back to deep waters again, I saved them all, I LITERALLY CRIED IN JOY for some minutes, some people thought I was nuts or something, fuck them...

Humans are so full of shit, doubts and stereotypes that sometimes I just wanna puke...

[Edited 8/15/10 13:47pm]

retina said:

Number23 said:

retina said: Has it ever been different? Apart from in movies, I mean.

Yeah, I think it's gotten worse. Even during our relatively short life times. And when I talk to older generations, the shift is even more clear (and I honestly don't think that's because they view their youth/lives through rose-tinted glass; it actually was different back then).

One major culprit is the new technology. It makes us aware of what others are doing and their success stresses us out, and makes us feel more competetive. It makes us fearful of many things since we see and hear about so much crap happening to people, and that in turn makes us protective of ourselves. Plus it isolates us, which causes social skills to deteriorate. And with the physical distance between people the emotional distance seems to be growing as well.

At least that's my take on it.

I tried (probably rather poorly because I was still pretty emotional about the experience) to convey this sentiment the day I posted the thread. I couldn't agree with you more.

To Trina/TD3's point below, that's the counter for all of us in our personal life, should we actually care about such things. The reason I got out to help was because I largely espouse that kind of attitude. (Not a take charge rah rah cheerleader thing or a hand out flowers on the street corner for peace one). But just meeting people with a kind disposition and taking a general interest is really not that hard.

I'm not religious in the least, but in my experience treating others as you would want to be treated seems largely to be a foreign concept now. It doesn't mean I have become jaded or changed my ways, but I do think it has gotten much worse over the past 20 years.

JoeTyler said:

I gotta admit that I've always felt more compassion & kindness for animals, just because I see them powerless, pure and noble; one of the highlights of my life, so far, was the afternoon I rescued a bunch of trapped fishes who were running out of air near the shore,... I helped them to get back to deep waters again, I saved them all, I LITERALLY CRIED IN JOY for some minutes, some people thought I was nuts or something, fuck them...

Humans are so full of shit, doubts and stereotypes that sometimes I just wanna puke...

[Edited 8/15/10 13:47pm]

nice of you

i think people behave more nicely to each other in smaller towns. but, i see a lot of individual acts of kindness between people in cities too. i don't think we're lost yet.

No. I haven't. I make it my life's mission to be kind and compassionate to all who know me and all I meet. Because....kindness is infectious. People see kindness, they're bound to follow by example.

And it gives others renewed hope. So a little kindness goes a long way.

I don't think we've lost our ability to feel compassion - but I do think people are less compassionate and kind.

I think it really stems from the lack of connectedness so many people feel to their communities and to each other. It's easier to sit in front of a monitor and type than make real connections with people.

Lost it? When did humans ever have it?

I have kindness and compassion for folks in my inner circle of family, friends, acquaintances and certain co-workers. Not so for strangers. If someone asks me for help, I'll do what I can, but I don't go out of my way for people I don't know. Children are the exception.

uPtoWnNY said:

I have kindness and compassion for folks in my inner circle of family, friends, acquaintances and certain co-workers. Not so for strangers. If someone asks me for help, I'll do what I can, but I don't go out of my way for people I don't know. Children are the exception.

Ever check your org notes?

ernestsewell said:

Ever check your org notes?

I just did...I'll get back to you when I get home.

Graycap23 said:

Lost it? When did humans ever have it?

some do. most don't.

I used to think people could learn it, but now I know better.

Children are no exception. Many children are the worst with no innate sense of kindness.