If it looks cute on your 10 year old, keep it the fuck off your body.

You're welcome.

florescent said:

If you're wearing white shorts/a white skirt/white trousers or a white dress, wear skin tone or even white knickers.

Unless you want people to notice your old granny knickers.

Or printed ones.

johnart said:

If it looks cute on your 10 year old, keep it the fuck off your body.

You're welcome.

Related: If you wore a style the first time it was popular, you're too old for it now.

NON-MATERIAL GIFT-GIVING:

Your love and affection and a hand-written poem are only appropriate gifts on non-major holidays (or if y'all are going through a tough financial period). She'll tell you she loves it (and I'm sure she will) but there'll be about 3 seconds of akward silence after when she'll be waiting for you to whip out the real gift.

On the other hand, ladies: you will never go wrong with the Gift of Anal.

[Edited 7/10/10 12:35pm]

Genesia said:

johnart said:

If it looks cute on your 10 year old, keep it the fuck off your body.

You're welcome.

Related: If you wore a style the first time it was popular, you're too old for it now.

I don't want to hear that . But it feels strange to buy something similar to something I might have worn a long time ago, so I try to avoid it usually and go with something else that I am also too old to wear probably .

johnart said:

NON-MATERIAL GIFT-GIVING:

Your love and affection and a hand-written poem are only appropriate gifts on non-major holidays (or if y'all are going through a tough financial period). She'll tell you she loves it (and I'm sure she will) but there'll be about 3 seconds of akward silence after when she'll be waiting for you to whip out the real gift.

On the other hand, ladies: you will never go wrong with the Gift of Anal.

[Edited 7/10/10 12:35pm]

Never get a five dollar eyebrow wax.

littlemissG said:

Never get a five dollar eyebrow wax.

do not ask the GD forum of the org for medical advice when it comes to skin fungi.

BlackAdder7 said:

do not ask the GD forum of the org for medical advice when it comes to skin fungi.

Coarse salt WORKS!

Before allowing a real estate agent to show your home to a perfectly lovely couple, make sure all pornographic material (especially those which might feature gang-banged cum-covered individuals on the front cover) are safely put away where nobody can see them. If you leave them out on a dresser in plain view the agent might never show your home again.

Don't waste your time on people whom have no time for you.

johnart said:

NON-MATERIAL GIFT-GIVING:

Your love and affection and a hand-written poem are only appropriate gifts on non-major holidays (or if y'all are going through a tough financial period). She'll tell you she loves it (and I'm sure she will) but there'll be about 3 seconds of akward silence after when she'll be waiting for you to whip out the real gift.

On the other hand, ladies: you will never go wrong with the Gift of Anal.

[Edited 7/10/10 12:35pm]

There is a difference between throwing up a gang sign and throwing down a gang sign.

Who knew?! well, aside from peeps in gangs...and cops...okay, some people knew, but I didn't, and its important to know!

johnart said:

Before allowing a real estate agent to show your home to a perfectly lovely couple, make sure all pornographic material (especially those which might feature gang-banged cum-covered individuals on the front cover) are safely put away where nobody can see them. If you leave them out on a dresser in plain view the agent might never show your home again.

... hypothetically speaking...

chocolate1 said:

johnart said:

Before allowing a real estate agent to show your home to a perfectly lovely couple, make sure all pornographic material (especially those which might feature gang-banged cum-covered individuals on the front cover) are safely put away where nobody can see them. If you leave them out on a dresser in plain view the agent might never show your home again.

... hypothetically speaking...

You don't even know how much I wish.

johnart said:

chocolate1 said:

... hypothetically speaking...

You don't even know how much I wish.

chocolate1 said:

johnart said:

You don't even know how much I wish.

I wanted to be struck down or have the earth open up and swallow me right then and there on the spot as the couple and agent stood right in front of the dresser where the dvd case lay in PLAIN SIGHT. And I KNEW they could and did see it.

I couldn't even stand in front of it to block it from view because they walked in the room first and were standing between the dvd and me.

[Edited 7/11/10 13:29pm]

If you know you are going to have sex later and there is a chance you might have oral sex, don't eat cabbage, sprouts, beans or coleslaw - the repercussions might be disastrous (experience )

blueblossom said:

If you know you are going to have sex later and there is a chance you might have oral sex, don't eat cabbage, sprouts, beans or coleslaw - the repercussions might be disastrous (experience )

If you are going to snog the face off your lover - don't eat garlic, pickled onions, curry and anything that gives you indigestion (hee hee!!!)

`

[Edited 10/22/10 5:59am]

Never piss into the wind.

Always have a crap before you on in a long shopping trip. Nothing worse than a lady bearing down and farting etc in the public toilets!

Don't have sex when you have the shits (both parties)

If you have guests make sure the toilet is CLEAN!!!

Oh I could go on forever!!!!

johnart said:

Before allowing a real estate agent to show your home to a perfectly lovely couple, make sure all pornographic material (especially those which might feature gang-banged cum-covered individuals on the front cover) are safely put away where nobody can see them. If you leave them out on a dresser in plain view the agent might never show your home again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

PunkMistress said:

johnart said:

Before allowing a real estate agent to show your home to a perfectly lovely couple, make sure all pornographic material (especially those which might feature gang-banged cum-covered individuals on the front cover) are safely put away where nobody can see them. If you leave them out on a dresser in plain view the agent might never show your home again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Bitch.

johnart said:

PunkMistress said:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Bitch.

I'm sorry, but that is soooo fucking funny.

Especially since a certain Orger from Sayreville recently had to do work at the home of a lez couple, and their hardcore porn was out in plain sight too!

I'm a nasty, exhibitionist slut, though; if that was me I'd be tickled beyond belief that someone saw it.

I still sometimes walk naked in front of open blinds. Then Jersey punches me in the throat.

PunkMistress said:

johnart said:

Bitch.

I'm sorry, but that is soooo fucking funny.

Especially since a certain Orger from Sayreville recently had to do work at the home of a lez couple, and their hardcore porn was out in plain sight too!

I'm a nasty, exhibitionist slut, though; if that was me I'd be tickled beyond belief that someone saw it.

I still sometimes walk naked in front of open blinds. Then Jersey punches me in the throat.

I'm a total exhibitionist slut as well...it's just not smart when you're trynna get a fuckin house sold.

johnart said:

PunkMistress said:

I'm sorry, but that is soooo fucking funny.

Especially since a certain Orger from Sayreville recently had to do work at the home of a lez couple, and their hardcore porn was out in plain sight too!

I'm a nasty, exhibitionist slut, though; if that was me I'd be tickled beyond belief that someone saw it.

I still sometimes walk naked in front of open blinds. Then Jersey punches me in the throat.

I'm a total exhibitionist slut as well...it's just not smart when you're trynna get a fuckin house sold.

Yeah, in that context I'd probably want the Earth to swallow me up as well.

PunkMistress said:

johnart said:

I'm a total exhibitionist slut as well...it's just not smart when you're trynna get a fuckin house sold.

Yeah, in that context I'd probably want the Earth to swallow me up as well.

It was the longest 5 minutes of my life I just wanted to shout SHOW THEM THE GODDAM LIVINGROOM ALREADY!!!!

PunkMistress said:

johnart said:

Bitch.

I'm sorry, but that is soooo fucking funny.

Especially since a certain Orger from Sayreville recently had to do work at the home of a lez couple, and their hardcore porn was out in plain sight too!

I'm a nasty, exhibitionist slut, though; if that was me I'd be tickled beyond belief that someone saw it.

I still sometimes walk naked in front of open blinds. Then Jersey punches me in the throat.

People are funny, tho.

What does buying the house have to do with the previous owner's tastes, ya know?

I mean, it's not like:

a) the porn comes with the house and they're obligated to keep it

b) you're staying when they move in and they'll have to watch it with you.