Love is so complicated. I'm trying to figure it out myself and sometimes I think It'll drive me insane.

I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now and I just realised things about him this year that I never knew. This is personal and I'm not sure I should post this to the public, but Its the only place I'll get to talk about it with someone really. Anyways, he hasn't directly cheated on me, but he has been seeing this girl while we lived apart (him in Italy and me in Canada) and I accidently found e-mails back and forth from him and the other girl where he'd call her pet names and say the same sweet feel-good things that he had told me years ago... and how much they missed eachother and couldn't stop thinking about her, blah blah blah. He was also heavy into online porn, I found thousands of images that he saved on disc. He swears nothing ever happened and that it was just flirting and blames part of this behavior to depression (which he wasn't taking his medication at hte time). He still wants to stay with me and does so much for me.

Its a long story but he lost all of my trust for a while and I still haven't gained it completely. I love him but this whole thing broke my heart and our relationship hasn't been the same since... passion and lust has sorta dissapeared. I have doubts in my mind, yet I can't imagine myself walking out on him.

Am I crazy to try to make us work? I beleive you need to MAKE a relationship work... its not always a golden road.

LaVish, I apologise for this long "un-asked for" statement, but I can relate to your questions and I don't know the answers.

LaVisHh said:

Voog said:

First of all, don't be silly...I appreciate anyone who takes the time to post on my threads - well the ones who care anyways.

I do feel what you are saying. I have to admit that in my heart, I have had the answers long ago, and I bet you do too. You stated it quite clear when

you said:

It will never be the same. I tried to stay with my ex-husband...after 4 additional painful years, I finally left.

You are NOT crazy for believing in making a relationship work. That's why I've been in this one for 9 years. I don't want to go from man to man in search of one - because I know that no matter what relationship I am in, there will be conflicts.

This is the key though, with all the advice I have been given: THE BOTH OF YOU MUST WANT IT TO WORK. If you have any doubts regarding his sincerity, and/or yours - then it is time to move on. It really gets complicated with children involved (like in my case)...I am here to talk...you can always orgnote me.

Thanks LaVish. I just don't want to end it and regret it later. I’m quite sure that we both want to make it work, but its just hard to get over thinking about that whole ordeal... Time heals.

LaVisHh said:

I think a lot of those men are ones that never grew up, and like kids, are very jealous and always want what the other fella has.
Also, most of them are just insecure, and want a second opinion that will tell them that they're still sexy and great in bed.

MissCute said:

Is there a point you are attempting to make with all of this bumping of threads?

AzureStar said:

Are you being unreasonable?

Boob said:

No, I being an "attention seeking whore" right now... leave me alone, boob!

AzureStar said:

No, I'm just discussing the topic.

There's only one woman I'd like to spend my life with. And I swear on my life that I will never go to anyone else but her.
Well, that makes sense also cuz she's got no competition