erik319 said:

You think? Interesting.

vivid said:

Ah.. the bad penny turns up!

erik319 said:

I did exactly that and to a lesser extent my bf did the same and I am afraid it will affect our relationship . But in my case it's more that I am not over my ex and not that I am affected by the way my last relationship was. Both me and my bf just went into our relationship very quick and at a time when we probably would have needed time alone to get over our last relationships. I just hope our love is strong enough that we will overcome that .
[Edited 4/1/10 2:42am]

erik319 said:

Don't worry - I didn't miss your coming out party. I just went home to change the sheets.

prince have a heart

in that song p wrote "don't you have to have a heart before you get it broken"

"i ain't crying over payments overdue" lol
[Edited 4/1/10 2:43am]

booty said:

Yeah, but to be honest. Is there anyone you wouldn't go to for relationship advice before Prince?

Serious said:

hope things work out ok

booty said:

He also wrote 'Green virgin teenager, or filthy rich yuppie, pussy cat pussy cat, wherefore art thou puppy?'

And I think we can learn a lot from that.

erik319 said:

Thank you a lot . It must be hard for my bf to know how much I still care about my ex . Even though he knows I consider him the love of my life.

Serious said:

It'll fade. Just make sure you do different things with your new boyfriend. Eat at different restaurants, see different types of movies, go on holiday to new places, do ahem... different naughty stuff

That way, instead of feeling like your new guy is replacing the old, you'll just feel that it's a new & different relationship, which will help you to love him in a different way... Before you know it, the love for the old will just fade.


Shit I should be an agony uncle... Wonder how much they earn?

Serious said:

I'm fascinated by this as I've never loved (or even been seriously interested) in more than one person at a time. Is the love you feel for the two men different in nature and degree?

im checking this book called "cheaters, liers, rejections" it a book i seen in a window as i walked by wit my dog, i wonder if we will like this or not lol
[Edited 4/1/10 4:24am]

erik319 said:

I don't feel at all as if my new man is replacing my old, no one can replace him and what we shared. And no one could replace what I share with my new bf. They are very different. I just love and miss my ex-bf still and it is not fading away at all and it breaks my heart that we are no longer together. We were together for 17 years and a part of me died with him leaving . He just was part of me in a way .
That's good advice about doing different things with my new bf, but I cannot do that as he is living at the other end of the world and I won't see him in a long time .. I was living with him in his country for half a year recently and the whole life there was totally different from the life in Europe and even though there was less pain there for me as not every little thing reminded me of my ex I still missed him a lot . Now being back home all alone and just depending on talking to my bf on the phone I feel really sad and lonely .

Serious said:

That's crappy sorry to hear that. You not tempted to take the plunge and move?

vivid said:

My situation is weird in so many ways. I guess I am just a lost cause . I fell in love with my now bf nearly 3 years ago. Love at first sight, I was completely blown away. It was completely magic. I was very happy in the relationship I had and we were together for so long and he was the one who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I felt so torn and unhappy and I felt there was no way out no matter what I do. I could not imagine my life without either of them . In a way I still feel the same today even though my bf left me more than a year ago and now is with somebody else. I miss him so much and still cry over him every day. Even though I am very sure I will never love anyone as much again as I love my new bf. I am totally not the kind of person who falls in love easily. When I love somebody I don't even see anybody else and my man is my everything for me. That makes the whole situation even more absurd .
Hmm I guess you could say that my ex was my best friend who I shared so many interests with, my family and my lover for me. Like I siad he was almost part of me. He never was the man though who I was completely crazy in love with even though we had great sex even after 17 years. My new bf is an amour fou. We love each other like crazy and drive each other completely crazy. He comes from a completely different background (country, culture, family, education, everything) and we are very different when it comes to our personalities too. But we are completely attracted to each other and learn a lot from each other.

erik319 said:

That would be really difficult because of my apartment, money, visas etc. I hope to make it work that I can live with him for half a year in his country in the future and he can stay with me for 3 months in between. I have no idea if that will really work though, especially when it comes to money .

Serious said:

Wow. That all sounds pretty heavy. As I said, I've never experienced anything like this. And I think I'm really lucky, although maybe it's a failing, in being very good at letting go. I'v felt all shades of pain whilst still being involved with somebody, but once it's over, so is the pain. I'm currently in the happy place right now - it's almost like a chemical high.

My mother envies my capacity for detachment. I wonder...

Serious said:

You have us too! Btw I dreamed tonight that we met and it was very cool!!

vivid said:

It is pretty heavy . I was never good at letting go and I think it is because of my childhood. I grew up with a father who was very ill all through my childhood and ever since I can remember I was afraid that he might die any day. I have been told that I still associate change with death and there may be some truth to that. You are very lucky indeed if it is easy for you to let go, I wish I was like that . My whole life changed completely and I try to get accustomed to it somehow. I am trying my best like when I moved to my bf's country for half a year even though I only had spent less than 3 weeks before with him ever and his lifestyle is completely different to mine. But it is very hard for me to deal with all my emotions and all the troubles I am facing in my life right now.

Aelis said:

Awww thank you Andrea . Yes I know how lucky I am for my org friends who have been so supportive through these hard days . You all don't even know how much difference you made especially as I am loosing quite some of my RL friends as pretty much all of my friends are friends of me and my bf and now they have to "take sides".

Wow, that's so very cool! I wish we would meet in RL too .

Serious said:

No need to thank me
Oh, that sucks!

Yeah, absolutely! Well, it's certainly not impossible

Aelis said:

Got any plans?

Serious said:

I think because my mum left when I was a baby, I learnt to let go easy. It's a funny old life.

vivid said:

It could also have had the opposite affect on you, no ? But you are lucky it had that one.

Serious said:

Yep. I think whatever happens, there is always more than one way of reacting to it. My brother is quite clingy and a bit of a victim and has never forgiven her, whereas my mum and me get on really well.

vivid said:

Very true

Serious said:

Well, no concrete plans yet, but I kinda feel it really might happen! It shouldn't be too hard to go to Vienna, maybe bring a friend as well, and stay there for a few days, right?
It's definitely on my list of cities I want to visit

Aelis said:

That would be awesome!!!!!

Serious said:

Wouldn't it??

Would you show me around and all that?

Aelis said:

Oh yes ! I sure would! Vienna is really nice . We just have to find a date when I am in Austria for sure, but that should not be a problem .