I've been in one relationship and no, I'm not afraid of giving my best.
I just haven't met anyone who wants it
.
[Edited 3/31/10 20:26pm]

i'd say 10-

other ones i didn't include in that number cuz it wasn't a r.ship just folx that had misunderstandings.
lol last one was cuz i didn't want to sleep with him, and i was digging his friend more then him. for example, the last guy i was about to hook up with reminded me too much of my ex and he was like at work getting offensive cuz he said he didn't want me bringing dramma at his work so i never bugged him again. then we were supposed to go to a party he invited me to go one night.
he ganna say one minute i was going wit him, but then he changed his mind and said his boss is taking me to the party, fuck that!
(his boss was like ordering him what to do, and i hated that lol).
[Edited 4/1/10 3:58am]

2 and a half

ZombieKitten said:

You have to explain the half.

I have had 2.

The first was shortly after high school and while we ended up married it didn't last because we were so young to begin with and we never got the chance to know each other, really. We met March 6 for the first time ever, we were married May 19 that same year. 4 days later I went to basic military training. One child and 7 years later, we split up. It was my choice as I felt she pretty much didn't appreciate anything I did and was always trying to change me.

For two years after our split I didn't bother with relationships, though someone did catch my eye. She and I were friends for over a year before anything happened. We began dating and not even a month in, I loved her more than I ever loved my wife. Actually I knew I loved her well before that, I just felt I wasn't allowed to express as much.

But shit happens and we broke up after maybe 5 weeks. We talked about trying again maybe after letting things sort themselves out and stuff. Back in December it was decided we wouldn't try again. The months following the breakup were tough to deal with, emotionally, it was somehow harder than my divorce, which in turn made me feel like shit, considering that involved child custody. But being totally honest with myself, it was one of the most emotionally tasking experiences i've gone through simply because I don't get attached to people easily and I set her up on a so high a pedestal that I couldn't pull her down when I needed to. Even today, as she insists on us being friends, it is hard to deal with. The back and forth, the feeling that our friendship is just a formality, an attempt to take a messy situation and put it in a nice pretty package...it wears on me.

Part of me wants to cut off all contact because I know that is where we are headed anyway, we're just taking the scenic route there. It's like our friendship is Old Yeller and while it hurts to do so, it might just be best to put it out of its misery. She seems content to let it live out its rabid life.

I've rambled enough and i'm typing this shit on a cell phone.

Fauxie said:

he was in love with me, it could have gone a lot further (we'd been living together for 6 months but then he moved interstate)

Acrylic said:

tell that to my best friends' boyfriends and husbands

one of my best friends' husbands are friends with me but the others.....one didn't like me around or hanging out with her (they had only been dating for 2 months and she and I had been friends for almost 3 years) and my other friend's husband threatened me when they were dating because he thought I and her other male friends were trying to hook up with her

vivid said:

this was my reply to a FBer today

"dark side dont give in to, good still i know in you there be"



back to topic...one serious one...im married to him

i was 21 1/2 when we met started going out , he was 29

bboy87 said:

People are SO insecure!

Acrylic said:

yeah....


and I only had interest in one of them and that was in high school

bboy87 said:

JESUS CYFER What a hot mess.

NastradumasKid said:

and it wasn't even the ones with the overprotective boyfriends

I had Alej in a taxicab once.

That's about it.

Cinnie said:

whores. the both of you

bboy87 said:

Oh really. Shame!

Cinnie said:

Let me know next time, and I'll play the Jill Jones part.

HamsterHuey said:

If you find him, can we share (we can go Dutch!)?
[Edited 4/1/10 0:07am]

vivid said:

Three guys, two snorers?

And to be honest, even though I have contemplated moresome relationships, cuz in theory they sound cool, I must admit I am not entirely there yet.

I just never put the 'more peeps in one relationship' to the test, but mostly cuz my one-on-one relationships were already messy and the fact that the moresome relationships I have seen were not based on the equality I am looking for in a relationship.

There's just one moresome relationship I know about that seems honest, judging it from the outside. I know one of the four peeps involved and he is always upfront in answering all my snoopy questions.

The biggest eye opener outside of a relationship I had was a TV interview here in Holland. A very well known interviewer questioned an older artist lady (in her 70's, if I remember correctly) and they spoke of her husband of many decades, who had passed away not so long before the interview.

The older lady spoke with so much love about her husband for a few minutes and the fact that he had been everything to her. Then she said something like; "Of course, we both had our flings outside of the relationship. People were not meant to be monogamous."

To hear a nice granny be so honest about relationships and in SUCH a different way I was used to hear people talk about relationships was... well, it opened my train of thoughts to shift gear and change tracks.

I fall in love easily, I guess. I've been in 6 relationships that felt really significant to me at the time. The 2nd and 6th ones were both especially intense and ultimately really devastating. At this point, I feel like I've had the emotional shit kicked out of me so long and hard that all I can really do at this point is stop and try to recover some dignity and sanity. And try to keep #7, should it ever happen, on the distant horizon. I can't take any more right now.

zaza said:

Of course, I have felt the way you describe, and so do most people! I have had three major relationships in my life...and I just parted from a 20 year relationship with the "love of my life" two years ago... It was devastating...but I had to do it because he had changed from the person I had fallen in love with all those years ago and, to my sorrow, we couldn't continue the friendship... There is a barrier and a resistance to new relationships but you can't let that stop you or your life... The nature of life is that it is a gamble and a challenge...and your heart can get bent when you think it is broken...but it really isn't! You move on...and it can get "dented" again, but it will not break you! I know! Hang in there!

I've dated maybe 10-15 people, had long serious relationships with two guys, and one super intense unofficial thing that I think would've been amazing if the timing wasn't so shitty. I definitely can agree with hesitation over wanting to pursue someone new after a relationship ends badly, but once you get over that it's the best feeling, imo. I've gotten extremely picky in the last year or so, & honestly now just don't even bother dating anyone that doesn't like my sense of humor/random bizarreness/body type.

Right now I'm seeing someone but taking it more slowly than any relationship I've ever had before, which is exactly what I needed. I'm not sure exactly where/how far it'll go right now, but it's kinda fucking awesome just enjoying each other.

ya i know i don't give my heart away to easy, most the time i just test things out then i know it's ganna end. even my family know im not really into the guy but just hanging out.

my family is on the sidelines like "oh lawd i know this ain't ganna last"
[Edited 4/1/10 1:35am]

HamsterHuey said:

I was only pulling you leg. I've never been in a relationship with two or more. It's never appealed to be honest.

The monogamy thing is intersting. When people say that we're not meant to be monogomous, I often think that it is true in the sense that we are meant to murder and kill.

I'm with Aristotle rather than Epicurus on this one I think - Pleasure and pain are barometers of human excellence. What comes easy and gives gratifcation is often something to be wary of, whereas what comes hard (ahem) and can be painful is that which we should strive for.

So, although I agree that humans are not naturally monogomous, I don't think being human is about being natural - civilization is about quite the opposite. I'd love to be a cat personally, but I'm not, so my purpose in life is different.

vivid said:

Yer more of a dawg.

vivid said:

Well said vivid that was bordering on poetic You are good with words 'n' shit

endymion said:

If you only knew...



dayum edit
[Edited 4/1/10 2:10am]

HamsterHuey said:

Oh I have heard about the talent of vivid's silvery tongue Huey

endymion said:

Who hasn't.

endymion said:

Thanks. I enjoy reading you too (and the fact that you're a hotty doesn't hurt either)

zaza said:

You can never go into a relationship with the hangups from a past one. If you do, it's doomed from day one mate.

I've had 5 long term relationships in the past. Some just fizzled out, others went with a bit of a bang. I had a really close knit group of freinds, it was brilliant, but my girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me with one of my best freinds. I was devestated. The group split up, not sure where their loyalties lied. It was a horrible time.

that was 4 years ago now, and they're still together. They're not happy, but they're still together, so there must have been something in it, so live and let live.

But if I was to take that paranoia about cheating into my next relationship, I'd have been jealous of her going out, paranoid about my friends meeting her... it would have doomed the relationship before it started.

My advice. Every relationship is different. Go into each one as though it was your first.Don't let one bad experience change you as a person.

And if you get sick of being dicked around and all the mindgames, shag a bloke, it's less hassle! haha