I have a very small family, so our levels of dysfunction are minimal; however, I just love hearing the funny stories about Christmas family get togethers and someone acting the fool like one moderator's aunt who "drops the f-bomb before pie is served." CLASSIC!

So come on folks, share your stories. I need a good laugh today. I'm feeling sorry for my sorry ass.

My nephews didn't even come to the table.

the baby cried the entire day and his ass of a momma kept ignoring him.

My cousins weren't around this year, and they are the nutty ones in our family. In their absence, I tend to be the quirky one with all the stories.

My daughter had a little too much Southern Comfort ad comforted us all night long.

as stated before in another thread. vodka and tequilla were my friends on xmas eve. if your going to spend time with my distant relatives, alcohol is going to become your friend. with that said, i still was not the ass of the family. at least i don't think so.

my in-laws, they always argue on x-mas day! they weren't here in person, but included us in it by phone. what a downer.

my wife and I were very well behaved

but her parents and sister & husband got fairly shitfaced and dropped the f-bomb about oh, 80 times. This was during the games after dinner. Lots of finger pointing and accusations - about how bad their partners were. I'm sure none of this was lost on the kids.

Business as usual really!

My husband.

It was a joy.

Nothinbutjoy said:

kimrachell said:

Thanks

My brother, he is a Mr. Bah-humbug..

Eh, I went to a grandmother's house for Christmas. Now, I come from a Roman-Catholic (I'm pagan), military (I'm anti-war) family. So to see all of these retired and currently military personel in one room was just asking to be taunted.

Especially when a comment was made about a pentacle that I was wearing... "We don't need any demons in here!"... followed by, "You're right... we already have the US Army... there's no room for anymore!"

Oh, they walked right into that one. Wonder if I'll get an invite next year... doubtful.

My mom informed us that old men drink gin to help their nature rise

My sister-in-law's husband. Didn't show up for either Christmas Day family events. The sister-in-law claimed he was too tired and was sleeping. So the poor sister-in-law had to spend Christmas day without her husband, taking care of their one year old, and having everyone in the family ask her, "So where's your husband?" What a loser.

I gave a gift to my brother-in-law this year and he gave a gift to me. I gave him a gift card to a place called Golfdome and he just went on and on about how I think he's not a good golfer and needs the lessons offered at Golfdome. I thought it was pretty jerky of him. He didn't seem to realize he was pissing me off.

I gave him a list of books and CDs I wanted to make it easy for him to choose something for me. I gave him the list on NOVEMBER 2, and still on Christmas day he gives me a book and a CD that weren't on the list at all. I know I should be grateful for a gift, but it rubbed me the wrong way.

ThreadCula said:

markpeg said:

Ain't that a bitch! I hate that, too. Folk ask you what you want, you give them a detailed list, and then they show up with some mess. Next time, do the same to him as he did to you. Maybe he'll get the hint.

Genesia said:

You should have put their meals in the dog's dish and invited them to eat with Fido!

<--- But only because I ate quickly and got hit by the "itis" even quicker...

Folks are talking around the dinner table, and I'm looking like

about 10 gay men one penthouse lots of alochol and good food and maybe some herbal aids, but no one was an ass it was a great time.

I think Christmas dinner is highly overrated.

It was just my husband, son, and me. We ate leftovers of spaghetti and turkey..and it rocked!

ThreadBare said:

me too, I went and took a nap

noimageatall said:

Shyra said:

He doesn't give out a list. He just says "Surprise Me!" Maybe I should surprise him with a dead mouse.

I got stabbed at the park by my uncle.

LittleBLUECorvette said:

Are you serious?

LittleBLUECorvette said:

Wait, what thee hell? Are you okay?

My mom slided onto the floor (red wine).
But the worst was NY eve with inlaws. 35 people in one room, doing a quiz where we get a colour painted on the top of our nose to show wich team we belong to. Next time I'll book an intercontinental holiday around the 31st.