So I am 20 years old and a college junior in DC. I am very shy around new people but I am very opinionated and outgoing once you get to know me. I was engaged in when I was 18 but my fiance passed away in a car crash. I have been in a place where I want to begin dating again for a while, but it seems that every time I go out and have a good time no one seems to be interested. Does anyone have any advice on how to get a date or just a guy's glance. I would really appreciate it!

Peace and Love:)

I'm sorry about your fiance

Well, if no one seems to be interested it means you should look in another group of people. Make some friends, show them you're amazing person and then..you know Good luck!

sorry about ur finance, i'm not one 2 ask about dating

luvisuniversal said:

That's terrible news about your fiance.

My best advice: Find out what makes you happy. Smile, laugh and be confident. This is good for you, and has the bonus effect of making people look your way and want to talk to you.

This will get you more results than any makeup, hair or clothes. Trust me!

I meet people that I find attractive by doing a class or an activity I m interested in. Instant icebreaker.

PunkMistress said:

This is excellent advice.

I would also encourage you not to fall into the trap that tells you that you are somehow a failure if you are single (personally, I far prefer it! The freedom! ).

Live your life! Do what you love! If you happen to meet someone you want to hang out with along the way, do so! Just don't expect relationships to play out like the movies or love songs; they'll never measure up.

I would highly recommend Woody Allen's movie Alice to you. The visits between the title character and Dr. Yang are a metaphor for therapy:

^

I don't know anything about that Woody Allen bullshit, but the rest of what you said: YES!

PunkMistress said:

Or it won't get you anything, but you're happier for it anyway.

Being happy single is the best advice either way.

PunkMistress said:

CarrieMpls said:

Be yourself, hon. Don't worry about finding someone right away. Enjoy YOURSELF. You can't begin to love someone unless you love yourself first. Sometimes you find what you're looking for when you're not looking. In other words, stop looking for "the one." If it's meant to be, it will happen. And if it doesn't, don't sweat it. Having a man does not difine your worth. Hell, I'm doing just fine without one!

Wow, I'm so sorry about your fiance, but I'm happy that you are moving forward in a positive direction


I am not a good person to give dating/ relationship advice since I seem to be chronically drawn to men who are just not that in to me or want to be just friends or whatever

...but I can tell you, to just be yourself

Make conversation, smile, place yourself in situations where you can feel comfortable and at ease, and just be your natural self.



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[Edited 12/23/09 16:59pm]