I've heard that women sometimes will date an "ugly" man or a man of a "lower league" because that man will admire her more, he won't be a pretty boy, he'll put her on a pedestal and most of all, won't compete with her when it comes to looks. She will always stand out as the prettier one. Also because they don't want other women to come on to that man, but then again women will anyway.

Men, feel free to answer this too.

Any real life scenarios?

Have you ever dated someone more attractive than you or less attractive than you and have you made your decision based on factors like peer pressure, competition, what your friends and family think is acceptable for you?

Have you ever dated down? Or "up" when you felt like you weren't on their level of sexiness?
[Edited 12/3/09 19:08pm]

In theory it sounds like a good idea

but what if you get sick of his not so attractive face after a while?

What's the dick lookin like???

Personality and other stuff make up for a lot

johnart said:

are you being funny, or is it really THAT important?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

see John's post above yours

ZombieKitten said:

I like humor too

whistle said:

I think the entire concept is funny.

But I've been strangely attracted to men whom others would consider ugly because of the beautiful dick/unusual face combo. I know it sounds twisted, but I have. But I'm talking strictly a physical thing there, not a dating situation.

I would totally date a guy who was considered ugly for a million other reasons, not for something dumb like competition.

johnart said:

Yeah, one time I told my friend about this hot guy I was dating. He came to pick me up for dinner and later she said "I thought your hot friend was coming over"

That was him

reminds me of a thread i almost started...

'would you date/sleep with someone ugly just because they had extraordinarily large genitals?'

whistle said:

Plural?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

whistle said:

Depends if it makes for an interesting combo.

EGO out of control.

I'm kinda interested in this topic because i'm currently dating right now and it seems like every guy i've ever dated my friends were always like "wow, you can do better." and i like the guy for who he is, but then even a few of the guys will approach me later on like "[i'm] out of your league" or say something like that (that's been told to me twice by two different guys). that's how i found out about the term "leagues" i didn't know that before.

but one time i did actually say to one of my friends that prefer dating guys that are not SUPER attractive because i don't want them to cheat or think they're better than me somehow or they'll run off. so maybe i pick guys due to this subconsciously and don't even go for guys i honestly find attractive.

i actually dated another guy who is really attractive [he looks like a fashion model] but then i actually felt somewhat inadequate next to him but he thought i looked fine. i noticed none of my friends complained about us together. it was actually pretty refreshing.

drifit said:

Unless someone is referring to the way someone treats you, it's completely assholish and tactless to say to anyone they can do better (on looks alone) than who they're dating.
No offense to your friends, but I would never dream of saying that to someone.

It can be said there's a lot of "ugly" folk that can do way better than their good lookin bf's/gf's in every other department.

johnart said:

it's kinda crazy because the last guy i was dating who was really attractive, i noticed some of those same friends who were i could do "better" magically wanted to "meet" my man and went out of their way to talk about him and our relationship all the time when really it was none of their business.

but then again, i do have a few male friends who are friends that i have turned down because THEY wanted to be in relationships with me or find me attractive and they specifically act really judgmental with who i'm dating. now, they calm it down, but it's usually until after i break up with them, i hear from them like "oh, well you guys weren't that cute together anyway" or "i didn't see 'it' for you two".

I've never dated

I've even developed somewhat a reputation amongst my friends that i date "Ugly guys" *sad* It makes me really frustrated hearing that. honestly in the end, i will date who i want, but then again, i find in my last three relationships i didn't fully find any of my boyfriends attractive, but then SURE did treat me right except for one who was an outright asshole and we were a total mismatch. one guy had "power" issues, another had all-around "insecurity" issues, etc. i'm not perfect by any means but damn, i'm willing to work on it with someone i care about, but i haven't been the most honest in how i select my guys, it's like i take one aspect because that's the one people "Cherish" but when you look at em too long it's like, "ehhh" or the romance/sex is unfulfilling, some have turned out to be impotent, but are really great "friends" and have great qualities *sigh*

i'm still looking for the best of both worlds. ain't trying to call myself marilyn monroe or something, but damn, can he be attractive AND fulfill the qualities i want in a guy without a trade off.

)))just talking out loud(((
[Edited 12/3/09 20:05pm]

drifit said:

Well you can say something like that in jest. Especially after a breakup. But to say it to you about someone you're with while you're with is not cool. It's not for anyone to question your choice or attraction. Maybe those who do don't have anything substantial goin on in their personal lives that they have to concern themselves with and pass judgement yours.

ZombieKitten said:

WaterInYourBath said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF were you bought at a bride market?

Before I was married, I never really "dated." There was only one person anywhere near what I'd call a partner, and while I found him adorable, other folk thought he was average to ugly.

Anyway... in theory I'd date somewhat more/less physically attractive than myself based on their overall appeal to me. But I don't think there'd be weird competition/ego-boosting strategies attached.

I think almost every man I've dated has been much more attractive than me. In the looks department I think most of them would have been considered “out of my league”. Maybe not all, but most.

johnart said:

Bingo. Me too.

That and my taste doesn't really run very mainstream, so the people I find attractive, lots of people usually don't.

No.

If you only seek to please your eyes but neglect what can't be seen, you'll always be looking for more!

Graycap23 said:

"Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."

Translation: "Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."


From Le Petit Prince