Hi all. I posted this on the babble thread but Vendetta1 suggested I start a new one. Thanks V!

So here goes: I'm after some advice.

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OK I'm gonna throw this all out for advice because I know some of you people have fairly decent brains and a lot of understanding in your noggins.

Here's the deal.....beware the long post. Skim over if you couldn't be arsed

So for those of you who don't know I ran away from Sydney a few months ago to move to the country on top of a beautiful mountain. The idea for this year was to take six months off then move up here, find a new job and look for a place to buy. Sydney is completely unaffordable and a house there worth $600000 is only $290000 up here. It's a two hour train trip (one-way) into the city.

Now I'd decided to take six months off after losing my job earlier this year. It was a government job with a pay packet of $70000pa where I was in charge of the services provided to international students for all government schools and technical colleges in the state of New South Wales. I lost the job only because it was a secondment position and the guy who was never supposed to come back to it was forced out of his current position with none to go to. The director really wanted me to stay and offered me other positions for which I felt I was not suitable. Forcing the issue and staying in a similar position would have meant I would have had to let go one or two of my staff members to "create" the work for me to stay and as that is not my thing I decided to leave based on my moral standpoint.

I then decided to try something new so I enrolled in an architecture course. It turned out to be not what I was expecting (ie I felt I was fantastic at the designs but terrible at the scientific side and knowledge retention). I've since decided to finish it but only for myself and on my own time....not to make it my priority for a career.

When I moved up here I was doing so with this plan to study, find a new job and buy a house. I was splitting up with my live-in partner and everything was happening at once. Since then we've gotten back together, worked all of the problems out and are very happy, even more so than my previous ex who I was with for seven years. We both are happy and confident in a shared future.

But the only problem is our respective lives are totally in the way. My plans were foiled by the job situation up here (ie none in my field and pay bracket). For him it's the fact that he's been waiting for his work sponsorship visa since January of this year and it still has not been granted. His background in his home country is aged care and he really wants to move into this here and study nursing. If his current work visa is granted he can study part time but if it is denied (which is the feeling I have) he would need to switch to a student visa and study full time. This means fees of about $13000pa and a maximum legal work capability of twenty hours per week. This would mean he can't afford to live where he is (in Sydney).

Now my rent and living costs up here are about 60% of what they are in Sydney. I would hope to find a job in Sydney or Penrith and commute, buy a house and have it paid off much quicker than I could if I was buying down there. But if his visa switches the logical thing to do would be to move down there and rent so we could live together and he would get what he wanted. Iwould also get what I wanted but much slower than if I lived up here. If I bought down there I would be looking at an extra 12 years of mortgage payments!!!!!

So what the fuck should I do!!!!! My lease is up in February. Should I stick it out up here and commute (I really to do love it up here) or should I move back, set up a new home and put off the buying of a house until we are both more stable in our respective lives? I'm sooooo confused as to the best options. If we both continue on our current paths neither of us is going to get where we want to. Advice please kind people!!!
[Edited 12/6/09 20:21pm]
[Edited 12/6/09 20:21pm]

You have so many varibles friend.
You need to see what happens first, job or visa then work around it.
You may need to drop your pay expectations for a bit just to get a foot in the door.
Good luck!

Not sure I can offer much real advice, but I'm happy for you two that you've come together in a seemingly healthy way and want to build a future together. If you both continue to be confident and aware that that is what you want and will work for, it will happen. I really believe that.



Good luck.

move down there and wait till u r stable in your lives.

You could take the gamble ( which is what life is about sometimes) but in these economic times it is really worth it? you could do it when you are in a better position.

also good advice by littlemissG- wait until you see what happens

Thank you guys!

I think the pay advice is true actually. I've told myself not to go below 60k instead....but if I find an awesome job for lower of course I'll take it.

Also waiting for the first thing to happen is great advice and very logical. I do have a habit of trying to do everything at once so maybe I should just be more relaxed about it? Let things start to flow and then use that momentum to make decisions....what do you think?

connorhawke said:

So you get a job, try commuting and work towards moving. How's that? Take up a hobby you can do on a train, like crocheting arigurumis for me

ZombieKitten said:

How about I get a job crocheting arigurumis?

connorhawke said:

well, I have a cunning plan.

You're good at the designing part you said, you could make arigurumi skyscraper patterns! Like amigurumi Taj Mahal, or Chrysler Building!

Don't know what to say but

connorhawke said:

If you love it up there and you don't mind a long daily commute I'd go with Kitten's advice. However, be sure that you can handle the commute in the long run. Our first home was up in the mountains and we absolutely loved the area, but Ron commuted 2+ hours each way (he drove there was no train, which I guess is very different, but 4 hours not counting delays out of each day is a lot to spend on a commute) and while we loved where we lived, after 8 years the isolation got a bit old.

Wherever you choose to live, i would definitely advice stability prior to buying a home.
[Edited 12/7/09 19:54pm]

ZombieKitten said:

Will you accept Byzantine and Art Deco designs only?

connorhawke said:

you could start with post modern, until you can crochet the fancy bits