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Printableheartbeatocean said: SUPRMAN said:    I think freedom of speech is pretty great, actually. And if we never took the chance that we might offend someone, we might never say anything at all. Again, context. We're talking about ME. Someone who can barely get a word in edgewise. Not that that excuses me from saying offensive things, but this is probably the most abhorrent thing I could muster. Note on my original thread, not a single person jumped into protest my use of the term. So it couldn't have been that controversial. Or maybe people just don't read my threads. I don't recall a prior thread . . . . But GD is full of topics I can't be bothered with . . . I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
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SUPRMAN said: heartbeatocean said: No but calling a girl "tomboy" and it is not as derogative as calling a boy "sissy", because ultimately it is more shameful to emasculate a boy than it is to masculate a girl -- because underlying all this is the cultural baggage that it is less to be a girl than a boy, and that feminine qualities are inferior. That's why it's easier for women to wear pants than it is for men to wear dresses. I agree. But even as a gay man, I don't feel effeminate or feminine which is probably why my reaction to the term is strong. I don't even want other gay men calling me "girl." I'm not the one. My friend who responded actually has very feminine airs in a stereotypical "gay" way and probably would have been the first to have been called a sissy in the third grade. So I think I pushed some buttons. Yeah. | |
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I saw the thread you're mentioning and there wasn't a damn thing offensive about it. If someone chooses to find it that way, that's on them. Context IS important. If you walked up to a gay man you didn't know and called him a sissy, you're damn right that would be offensive. But not what you're talking about here. |
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heartbeatocean said: I used it in the title of my thread "Communication is not for sissies" and someone found the word offensive, equating it with "fag"
I thought I was ahead of the PC curve, and that my use of it was playful, invoking imaginary fearful beings such as myself. I got the phrase from my grandma who says "Old age is not for sissies". Granted my grandmother would not be ahead of the PC curve, by definition... discuss... The way you used it, no. If you call someone a sissie to their face, then yeah. | |
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Why do people get so upset over something so unimportant in the world...
So lets go back to these days... Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will NEVER hurt me... Ahhhh the wisdom of children.. ~~~~~ Oh that voice...incredible....there should be a musical instrument called George Michael... ~~~~~ | |
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CarrieMpls said: Mach said: Reaching 
Show me a thread where I snipped something because I was offended seriously
Mods usually snip comments because they were reported by another person as "offensive" Nice try though 
typo [Edited 11/14/09 9:12am] And we don't always snip something, just 'cause it was reported. That one goes both ways. Who reports the most? I bet some folks have that button on speed-dial! 
I promise I wont tell anyone else!  | |
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SUPRMAN said: Vendetta1 said: Isn't namecalling, on its face, offensive?
I don't know...why can't people just say what they mean instead of taking the chance that someone may be offended? Is having the freedom to say what you want that great?
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tinaz said: Why do people get so upset over something so unimportant in the world...
Why do people get upset that people find things offensive? (Not specifically you, but in general)
So lets go back to these days... Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will NEVER hurt me... Ahhhh the wisdom of children.. My mother called me and my sisters cunts. Was that not supposed to hurt me? Someone being call a fag or nigger is not going to hurt? I don't know. Maybe someone can explain this stuff to me because I don't get it. I try to treat people as I want to be treated and I see nothing wrong with that. | |
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heartbeatocean said: SUPRMAN said: I agree. But even as a gay man, I don't feel effeminate or feminine which is probably why my reaction to the term is strong. I don't even want other gay men calling me "girl." I'm not the one. My friend who responded actually has very feminine airs in a stereotypical "gay" way and probably would have been the first to have been called a sissy in the third grade. So I think I pushed some buttons. Yeah. | |
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SUPRMAN said: ZombieKitten said: ultimately it is only offensive to women haters  I disagree. And since when does the user get to determine who is or isn't offended? If I call women here bitches, can I then protest to the mods that women should not be offended? Double standard . . . did you see I had my tongue out? that was TOTALLY a provocative post since supa was on the thread!!!!  | |
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SUPRMAN said: heartbeatocean said: great comparison, although notice that the word sissy has a far more humiliating ring to it (because it's seen as more shameful to be like a girl than to be like a boy) But no one calls a boy a 'tomboy' do they? To me it's offensive not because it's feminine, it's emasculating. A girl can call another girl a sissy or tomboy. Calling a guy a sissy isn't saying he's a girl, or even homosexual, it's saying he's less than a man. I don't know any term other than 'bitch' to suggest a woman is less than a woman. is the word so strong it strips a man of his balls? wow  | |
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ZombieKitten said: SUPRMAN said: I disagree. And since when does the user get to determine who is or isn't offended? If I call women here bitches, can I then protest to the mods that women should not be offended? Double standard . . . did you see I had my tongue out? that was TOTALLY a provocative post since supa was on the thread!!!! but no, I do agree with you that of course one can never assume what folks will or won't be offended by, like me for example am offended by the word "housewife". | |
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ZombieKitten said: SUPRMAN said: But no one calls a boy a 'tomboy' do they? To me it's offensive not because it's feminine, it's emasculating. A girl can call another girl a sissy or tomboy. Calling a guy a sissy isn't saying he's a girl, or even homosexual, it's saying he's less than a man. I don't know any term other than 'bitch' to suggest a woman is less than a woman. is the word so strong it strips a man of his balls? wow Literally, of course not. But in a guy/ group of buds world, that could take awhile to live down, if ever. ( I think 'The Deer Hunter," and 'The God Father' both show that type of male dynamic.) Just not a pleasant place to be. I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
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SUPRMAN said: ZombieKitten said: is the word so strong it strips a man of his balls? wow Literally, of course not. But in a guy/ group of buds world, that could take awhile to live down, if ever. ( I think 'The Deer Hunter," and 'The God Father' both show that type of male dynamic.) Just not a pleasant place to be. I hear you. It would be the same as a woman making an concerted effort to conform to society's norms of femininity and someone remarking that she is unfeminine or manly. | |
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Vendetta1 said: heartbeatocean said: My friend who responded actually has very feminine airs in a stereotypical "gay" way and probably would have been the first to have been called a sissy in the third grade. So I think I pushed some buttons. Yeah. stereotypical, yes. What's so "Wow" about that? | |
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heartbeatocean said: Vendetta1 said: Acting feminine is stereotypical gay? Wow.
stereotypical, yes. What's so "Wow" about that? | |
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Vendetta1 said: heartbeatocean said: stereotypical, yes. What's so "Wow" about that? I'm getting tired of having to explain myself.  So I'll just let this one go... | |
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Vendetta1 said: heartbeatocean said: stereotypical, yes. What's so "Wow" about that? but if you think of a the gay man as portrayed in popular media, he has limp wrists and a girlish outrageous and flamboyant manner. It's not representative, but it is recognisable. Big muscly bear types in leather are also another recogniseable gay stereotype. | |
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Vendetta1 said: heartbeatocean said: stereotypical, yes. What's so "Wow" about that? well alot of gay men do say that they are women on the iniside so yes some would act feminine seeing as they have more estrogen in thier brains but by no means does that mean that a man acting feminine means hes gay so i get what your trying to say ''now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical, a liberal, a fanatical criminal'' | |
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only to sissies. | |
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mcmeekle said: CarrieMpls said: And we don't always snip something, just 'cause it was reported. That one goes both ways. Who reports the most? I bet some folks have that button on speed-dial!
I promise I wont tell anyone else! I am 100% certian I report far more then Carrie 
Imma tattle tale | |
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ZombieKitten said: Vendetta1 said: Because most gay men I know don't act feminine.
but if you think of a the gay man as portrayed in popular media, he has limp wrists and a girlish outrageous and flamboyant manner. It's not representative, but it is recognisable. Big muscly bear types in leather are also another recogniseable gay stereotype. thanks, that was what I was getting at, but simply didn't have the energy to spell it out | |
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errant said: only to sissies.
ha! | |
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errant said: only to sissies.
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it's no worse than calling someone a pussy...and thats totally feminine..and in most case pussy is a wonderful thing...except when you get called one...  | |
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Just about any word can be offensive if the intention of the message is to be mean. | |
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CarrieMpls said: I saw the thread you're mentioning and there wasn't a damn thing offensive about it. If someone chooses to find it that way, that's on them. Context IS important. If you walked up to a gay man you didn't know and called him a sissy, you're damn right that would be offensive. But not what you're talking about here. Exactly. Andy is a four letter word. | |
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SUPRMAN said: heartbeatocean said: No but calling a girl "tomboy" and it is not as derogative as calling a boy "sissy", because ultimately it is more shameful to emasculate a boy than it is to masculate a girl -- because underlying all this is the cultural baggage that it is less to be a girl than a boy, and that feminine qualities are inferior. That's why it's easier for women to wear pants than it is for men to wear dresses. I agree. But even as a gay man, I don't feel effeminate or feminine which is probably why my reaction to the term is strong. I don't even want other gay men calling me "girl." I'm not the one. I find it rediculous that we call ourselves "girl". I don't mind "bitch" or "whore" because a man can definately be a bitch because I see "bitch" as an attitude and Lord knows I'm a whore. But "girl" is just rediculous. That's like you want to be the opposite sex which is the last thing I want to be. Andy is a four letter word. | |
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I'm a sissy and I'm not offended. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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