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Printablemeow85 said: DesireeNevermind said: Can't one instill fear in their child without touching them? My mom was especially good at that. She had a tone and then a shriek that stopped me dead in my tracks.
My mom never raised a hand to me, but I knew well never to cross her. Even as an adult I'm reluctant to do so unless I know there's damned good justification. Of course, if you listen to some in the pro-spanking crowd, because I was never hit by my mom it's a miracle I'm not rotting in jail.  Right? Teen years aside, my parents never had to worry about me and they never did anything more than scold or ground. Oddly, both my parents are religious but never practiced any of that spare the rod, spoil the child and my dad got beat constantly. Spanking (albeit lightly) is okay, just not as an initial reaction to a child misbehaving especially when children can't help some behaviors e.g. crying/screaming when hungry or tired, laughing silly out of amusement or grabbing something out of curiosity. | |
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PurpleRighteous1 said: I think that's a perfect example of the line between discipline and abuse being crossed.
yeah...there were a few exsamples ... my mother was physicaly hurtful... but my father was emotionaly hurtful...and that hurt way more than any beating my mother handed me... my father had me with a black woman and had the nerve to call me the "N" word all the time...that was the worse.....  | |
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nyse said: PurpleRighteous1 said: I think that's a perfect example of the line between discipline and abuse being crossed.
yeah...there were a few exsamples ... my mother was physicaly hurtful... but my father was emotionaly hurtful...and that hurt way more than any beating my mother handed me... my father had me with a black woman and had the nerve to call me the "N" word all the time...that was the worse.....   | |
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nyse said: PurpleRighteous1 said: I think that's a perfect example of the line between discipline and abuse being crossed.
yeah...there were a few exsamples ... my mother was physicaly hurtful... but my father was emotionaly hurtful...and that hurt way more than any beating my mother handed me... my father had me with a black woman and had the nerve to call me the "N" word all the time...that was the worse.....  "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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DesireeNevermind said: meow85 said: My mom never raised a hand to me, but I knew well never to cross her. Even as an adult I'm reluctant to do so unless I know there's damned good justification. Of course, if you listen to some in the pro-spanking crowd, because I was never hit by my mom it's a miracle I'm not rotting in jail. Right? Teen years aside, my parents never had to worry about me and they never did anything more than scold or ground. Oddly, both my parents are religious but never practiced any of that spare the rod, spoil the child and my dad got beat constantly. Spanking (albeit lightly) is okay, just not as an initial reaction to a child misbehaving especially when children can't help some behaviors e.g. crying/screaming when hungry or tired, laughing silly out of amusement or grabbing something out of curiosity. My mom had a bad temper, and she knew it. I know at least a few times I've provoked her to the point where she was tempted to hit me, but never did. Generally she'd try to calm herself before dealing with me. If that didn't work, at least a few times she'd go outside and break something expendable to work out her anger then come back and deal with my delinquent ass. IMO physical punishment -on an adult or child -is telling of a lack of respect for that individual as a person. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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meow85 said: DesireeNevermind said: Right? Teen years aside, my parents never had to worry about me and they never did anything more than scold or ground. Oddly, both my parents are religious but never practiced any of that spare the rod, spoil the child and my dad got beat constantly. Spanking (albeit lightly) is okay, just not as an initial reaction to a child misbehaving especially when children can't help some behaviors e.g. crying/screaming when hungry or tired, laughing silly out of amusement or grabbing something out of curiosity. My mom had a bad temper, and she knew it. I know at least a few times I've provoked her to the point where she was tempted to hit me, but never did. Generally she'd try to calm herself before dealing with me. If that didn't work, at least a few times she'd go outside and break something expendable to work out her anger then come back and deal with my delinquent ass. IMO physical punishment -on an adult or child -is telling of a lack of respect for that individual as a person. That's far from the truth...and stretching a bit too far. It's my job as a parent to raise a well behaved, respectful child. The child has to have boundaries, because it's their job to push those boundaries, to see how much they can get away with.....You don't think that a kid who doesn't get physically punished is going to exceed those boundaries more often? Do you even have kids? That's what they do... As I said, my kids are teens now, and we have a loving wonderful relationship, and I haven't spanked them in years...it worked for me. Thanks for the laughs, arguments and overall enjoyment for the last umpteen years. It's time for me to retire from Prince.org and engage in the real world...lol. Above all, I appreciated the talent Prince. You were one of a kind. | |
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desireenevermind...xoxo
meow85...xoxo | |
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Revolution said: meow85 said: My mom had a bad temper, and she knew it. I know at least a few times I've provoked her to the point where she was tempted to hit me, but never did. Generally she'd try to calm herself before dealing with me. If that didn't work, at least a few times she'd go outside and break something expendable to work out her anger then come back and deal with my delinquent ass. IMO physical punishment -on an adult or child -is telling of a lack of respect for that individual as a person. That's far from the truth...and stretching a bit too far. It's my job as a parent to raise a well behaved, respectful child. The child has to have boundaries, because it's their job to push those boundaries, to see how much they can get away with.....You don't think that a kid who doesn't get physically punished is going to exceed those boundaries more often? Do you even have kids? That's what they do... As I said, my kids are teens now, and we have a loving wonderful relationship, and I haven't spanked them in years...it worked for me. I'm not talking about parenting, I'm talking about use of physical punishment in any context. There's a reason why it's legally and socially acceptable for a person to hit their kids but not their spouse and it has nothing to do with parenting, but social standing. Kids aren't fully people. Not by society's rules and not by law. Why can you use one form of punishment for disobedience on one person, a child, but not the exact same form for the exact same offence by another person, an adult? There are a LOT of adults who don't respond to reason and could do with a smack or two to get them in line. But even if those people are your responsibility somehow, you could go to jail for punishing them the way some people do their own children. And I don't mean just in clear cut cases of abuse, either. You just try smacking your spouse for the same reason and with the same force that are done to a child and I guarantee you your actions would meet the legal definition of assault. In the context of parenting, many parents never strike their children for any reason and most of those kids aren't running wild. I have no idea where the idea came from that kids who aren't spanked turn into hellions, but that's a crock of shit. How any child turns out is a combination of their own personality and their parents entire parenting arsenal, not just whether or not corporal punishment is used. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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Revolution said: It's my job as a parent to raise a well behaved, respectful child. The child has to have boundaries, because it's their job to push those boundaries, to see how much they can get away with.....You don't think that a kid who doesn't get physically punished is going to exceed those boundaries more often? Do you even have kids? That's what they do...
Nah. All you teach them is that beating is OK. Mum and dad should be an example. You can raise your children very well without spanking. Being consequent is the most important. And then there are lots of other punishments than spanking: doing chores, no TV, no computer games. That makes them think. [Edited 10/8/09 16:01pm] Formerly known as Parade @ HQ and formerly proud owner of www.paradetour.com | |
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meow85 said: Revolution said: That's far from the truth...and stretching a bit too far. It's my job as a parent to raise a well behaved, respectful child. The child has to have boundaries, because it's their job to push those boundaries, to see how much they can get away with.....You don't think that a kid who doesn't get physically punished is going to exceed those boundaries more often? Do you even have kids? That's what they do... As I said, my kids are teens now, and we have a loving wonderful relationship, and I haven't spanked them in years...it worked for me. I'm not talking about parenting, I'm talking about use of physical punishment in any context. There's a reason why it's legally and socially acceptable for a person to hit their kids but not their spouse and it has nothing to do with parenting, but social standing. Kids aren't fully people. Not by society's rules and not by law. Why can you use one form of punishment for disobedience on one person, a child, but not the exact same form for the exact same offence by another person, an adult? There are a LOT of adults who don't respond to reason and could do with a smack or two to get them in line. But even if those people are your responsibility somehow, you could go to jail for punishing them the way some people do their own children. And I don't mean just in clear cut cases of abuse, either. You just try smacking your spouse for the same reason and with the same force that are done to a child and I guarantee you your actions would meet the legal definition of assault. In the context of parenting, many parents never strike their children for any reason and most of those kids aren't running wild. I have no idea where the idea came from that kids who aren't spanked turn into hellions, but that's a crock of shit. How any child turns out is a combination of their own personality and their parents entire parenting arsenal, not just whether or not corporal punishment is used. Yes! Formerly known as Parade @ HQ and formerly proud owner of www.paradetour.com | |
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dothejump said: Yes! My opinion isn't meant as a criticism of parents who do use corporal punishment, though I know it'll be taken that way. And I know that because I don't have kids I'll automatically be dismissed by pro-spankers who do have kids. But I'm trying to move this away from an argument about parenting methods, because for the most part I really don't give a shit how people parent as long as they make an effort. As long as the child's best interests are genuinely at the forefront there really is no right or wrong way to do it. For me, this is more an issue of respect for other people's being and their right to be treated with equal regard as others. It makes no sense to me that our society forbids physical forms of punishment for some people but condones it for others. Why does your birth date -because it really comes down to an arbitrary age distinction -dictate whether or not you have the right not to be hit? And I say it comes down to age because adults who have the relative cognitive functioning and ability to reason of children -those with dementia, Down's Syndrome, and the like -still have the right to protection from use of physical punishment against them. Someone's 70 year old mother with dementia may have less of an ability to respond to reason than that someone's 6 year old daughter, and yet the grandmother is protected legally and socially from physical force while the granddaughter is not. Why? It makes no sense. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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2freaky4church1 said: Studies show that hitting a child is always wrong. It teaches the child mixed signals about violence.
How can a study show "right" and "wrong"?  | |
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DesireeNevermind said: Can't one instill fear in their child without touching them? My mom was especially good at that. She had a tone and then a shriek that stopped me dead in my tracks.
omigod...I am an expert at the stank eye side eye roll eye evil eye cut eye now 
do not fuck with the eyes! trust I got kids and grown muthafuckas afeared of me!! I twisted my eye at this chick at work right and shut her down in 2 sec. And oh yeah, my kid was an angel today....amazing the change when his medicine in his stomach and not his pocket. Plus the I gotta get up at 5:45 am stank eye that I gave him all morning. Didn't even lay a hand on him (so far I have been very good about not touching him. And I will also be saving a grip in December LOL...clothes and books...you know what type of kid you were if that was your Christmas) I remember when I was deep in puberty acting the stank fool (I've always had a real horrid anger issue) my mom got tired of it and walked up to the police station and brought a cop back to discuss my attitude. Eye Opener moment. I'm not really genetically programmed to be nice. I am a naturally redheaded Black woman and a Scorpio, I have every reason to feel like I'm that bitch. I really have to work very hard to contain my rage moments and it's hard, so between work and child and trying not to scream on folk, let alone physically attack them, it's a bit stressful! And the kid has a lot of me in him LOL. | |
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BklynBabe said: DesireeNevermind said: Can't one instill fear in their child without touching them? My mom was especially good at that. She had a tone and then a shriek that stopped me dead in my tracks.
omigod...I am an expert at the stank eye side eye roll eye evil eye cut eye now
do not fuck with the eyes! trust I got kids and grown muthafuckas afeared of me!! I twisted my eye at this chick at work right and shut her down in 2 sec. And oh yeah, my kid was an angel today....amazing the change when his medicine in his stomach and not his pocket. Plus the I gotta get up at 5:45 am stank eye that I gave him all morning. Didn't even lay a hand on him (so far I have been very good about not touching him. And I will also be saving a grip in December LOL...clothes and books...you know what type of kid you were if that was your Christmas) I remember when I was deep in puberty acting the stank fool (I've always had a real horrid anger issue) my mom got tired of it and walked up to the police station and brought a cop back to discuss my attitude. Eye Opener moment. I'm not really genetically programmed to be nice. I am a naturally redheaded Black woman and a Scorpio, I have every reason to feel like I'm that bitch. I really have to work very hard to contain my rage moments and it's hard, so between work and child and trying not to scream on folk, let alone physically attack them, it's a bit stressful! And the kid has a lot of me in him LOL. I love thatI graduated bitches!!! 12-19-09   | |
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Evvy said: PanthaGirl said: Any kind of discipline using physical contact, emotional and abusive tones, bullying and neglect is child abuse. A child has no chance against a person 2 or 3 times their size and from the moment this cyle begins the child becomes a victim.
I would spank that bottom or pop a hand I would also give a hug after a discussion you sound like letting them know by your voice that a behavior is no good and damaging is criminal -well my kids are victims before conception- I hope they are not delinquents- they are gonna get Joe Jackson whippins....spare the rod- spoil the child Victims before conception? Of this world perhaps but I meant a child becomes a victim of abuse, by the hand of the abuser. I'm a patient person and yah would prefer talking it out and having time outs rather then laying a hand on another human being it plants very negative seeds, promotes violence and instills in mind that it's an acceptable method of dealing with a situation. Time again I have also seen the abused become the abuser, such a very sad cycle. | |
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DesireeNevermind said: Ok last thread I'm startign today.
  But uh...
I just remembered something I saw last night. I'm at the whole foods and this chick in the parking lot is just yelling at her crying child and then WHAP!!! She lays one across the kid's face and said kid turns beet red. Now the child is really crying loud and the mom is all looking around like she's either embarassed or feeling guilty. Being a multi-track minded person I start thinking of MJ and his dad/manager abusing him, I think of that vid someone posted a while back where some mom is dragging her leashed child out of a store and I think of how my parents never laid a hand on me. Then I think of pulp fiction but not sure why. Of course this mom didn't really beat her kid IMO, maybe the slap was a little heavy cuz that kid went from white to native american but...I've seen other parents (usually moms) and ethnic moms at that, who go all bladerunner on their kids. I've only intervened twice in my life. Where does one draw the line between a spank, some scolding or mild discipline and abusing your child? Do you ever see parents losing control and step up and say something? So many kids end up in foster care b/c they come from abusive homes. Why are some parents so quick to hit anyway? THAT should NEVER be done 
my opinion of course...  'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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Jesus took my wheel this evening. Kid came home with no homework, lied and said he had it half done, threw a tantrum, and tried to freak out when he saw a bug.
I can't lie y'all. My right hand started to twitch! 
But I remained strong and did not wallop that ass... Then he was all "I love you"... I'm like "I gotta wake up early in the morning to watch you take meds, brush teeth, get dressed and eat, when I should be resting before work, then hear some BS from your teacher and day care, and then you have the nerve to not have your homework and to lie, again, like we ain't gone through this shit regularly and you LOVE me. Da fuck I would feel like if you hated me then" 
I remained strong..... | |
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Revolution said: meow85 said: My mom had a bad temper, and she knew it. I know at least a few times I've provoked her to the point where she was tempted to hit me, but never did. Generally she'd try to calm herself before dealing with me. If that didn't work, at least a few times she'd go outside and break something expendable to work out her anger then come back and deal with my delinquent ass. IMO physical punishment -on an adult or child -is telling of a lack of respect for that individual as a person. That's far from the truth...and stretching a bit too far. It's my job as a parent to raise a well behaved, respectful child. The child has to have boundaries, because it's their job to push those boundaries, to see how much they can get away with.....You don't think that a kid who doesn't get physically punished is going to exceed those boundaries more often? Do you even have kids? That's what they do... As I said, my kids are teens now, and we have a loving wonderful relationship, and I haven't spanked them in years...it worked for me. In agreement 1million percent! I have 3 very kind and loving kids, one of which is a teenager (18, he's awesome and we have a great relationship also  ) and they are all well adjusted and KNOW HOW TO TALK AROUND THEIR ELDERS.
Many kids that aren't disciplined properly have a difficult time NOT offending adults, because they always talk back and don't know when to just shut their mouths. They actually have a harder time recognizing what respect is because they are so used to parents that bargain and compromise with them. These kids are just as bad as kids that are never showed any affection (or are just plain neglected) and are taught to "be tough". Now slapping and beating a kid down is just wrong. Not all parents know how to discipline, it has to be taught and it doesn't come naturally... if a parent came from a dysfunctional background. It is almost certain that those same mistakes will be repeated if there is no intervention ,like church elders, or friends, or a good support parenting group, for example. | |
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peb319 said: DesireeNevermind said: Ok last thread I'm startign today.
But uh...
I just remembered something I saw last night. I'm at the whole foods and this chick in the parking lot is just yelling at her crying child and then WHAP!!! She lays one across the kid's face and said kid turns beet red. Now the child is really crying loud and the mom is all looking around like she's either embarassed or feeling guilty. Being a multi-track minded person I start thinking of MJ and his dad/manager abusing him, I think of that vid someone posted a while back where some mom is dragging her leashed child out of a store and I think of how my parents never laid a hand on me. Then I think of pulp fiction but not sure why. Of course this mom didn't really beat her kid IMO, maybe the slap was a little heavy cuz that kid went from white to native american but...I've seen other parents (usually moms) and ethnic moms at that, who go all bladerunner on their kids. I've only intervened twice in my life. Where does one draw the line between a spank, some scolding or mild discipline and abusing your child? Do you ever see parents losing control and step up and say something? So many kids end up in foster care b/c they come from abusive homes. Why are some parents so quick to hit anyway? THAT should NEVER be done
my opinion of course... NEVER EVER!  it no wonder why so many are against spankings when they see stuff like that.
If she does that where someone can see her, what is she doing when no one can't? 
I still spank my kids, but I never let anger get the best of me... if I had a hard day, or while I'm angry I can't spank my kids, I just can't. I have to calm down first, or just go with another method. | |
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paintedlady said: peb319 said: THAT should NEVER be done
my opinion of course... NEVER EVER! it no wonder why so many are against spankings when they see stuff like that.
If she does that where someone can see her, what is she doing when no one can't?
I still spank my kids, but I never let anger get the best of me... if I had a hard day, or while I'm angry I can't spank my kids, I just can't. I have to calm down first, or just go with another method. makes you wonder..it's probably making the child a poster child for abuse unfortunately 'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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paintedlady said: Many kids that aren't disciplined properly have a difficult time NOT offending adults, because they always talk back and don't know when to just shut their mouths. They actually have a harder time recognizing what respect is because they are so used to parents that bargain and compromise with them. These kids are just as bad as kids that are never showed any affection (or are just plain neglected) and are taught to "be tough". This is SO wrong! Children have a right to talk back just like EVERYONE ELSE. They're not less human than adults! If you can't handle that it's YOUR problem, not theirs! A child has a hard time recognizing what respect is ONLY when it isn't treated respectfully! Children learn by IMITATION, how hard is this to understand in the 21st century? Respect enforced by fear isn't real respect at all! It's just hypocritical behaviour you teach your children to adopt. And you can be sure that they will never respect you truthfully, they will just pretend to. Implying as you do that punishment is the product of affection is intentionally misleading and straight out WRONG! It's just your way to justify what you do and suppress the guilt because deep down you know it it's so obviously WRONG - not to mention INEFFECTIVE as well - throughout the years the children I've met with the worst behaviour possible have proved to be the ones who are "disciplined" frequently at home and whose parents brag about it! I am but mad north-northwest
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porfyrivrohi said: paintedlady said: Many kids that aren't disciplined properly have a difficult time NOT offending adults, because they always talk back and don't know when to just shut their mouths. They actually have a harder time recognizing what respect is because they are so used to parents that bargain and compromise with them. These kids are just as bad as kids that are never showed any affection (or are just plain neglected) and are taught to "be tough". This is SO wrong! Children have a right to talk back just like EVERYONE ELSE. No they don't. They're not adults. And I would argue that adults "talking back" to each other disrespectfully is pretty socially unacceptable. It can get your ass handed to you just as easily as a child's. They're not less human than adults! If you can't handle that it's YOUR problem, not theirs!
They are not less human, but they are children. They have not earned an adult's place in society. Yes, earned. A child has a hard time recognizing what respect is ONLY when it isn't treated respectfully! Children learn by IMITATION, how hard is this to understand in the 21st century? Respect enforced by fear isn't real respect at all! It's just hypocritical behaviour you teach your children to adopt. And you can be sure that they will never respect you truthfully, they will just pretend to.
Implying as you do that punishment is the product of affection is intentionally misleading and straight out WRONG! It's just your way to justify what you do and suppress the guilt because deep down you know it it's so obviously WRONG - not to mention INEFFECTIVE as well - throughout the years the children I've met with the worst behaviour possible have proved to be the ones who are "disciplined" frequently at home and whose parents brag about it! Do you have children?  | |
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Revolution said: That's far from the truth...and stretching a bit too far. It's my job as a parent to raise a well behaved, respectful child. The child has to have boundaries, because it's their job to push those boundaries, to see how much they can get away with.....You don't think that a kid who doesn't get physically punished is going to exceed those boundaries more often? Do you even have kids? That's what they do...
No, that's NOT what they do! You've got it all wrong, that's what YOU HAVE TAUGHT them to do. If you are unable to show your kids boundaries in a civilized and respectful manner, please at least don't try to scare future parents who are open-minded and reject violence. My daughter and I are the living proof that your arguments are false. I've raised her in a non-violent environment where not only physical punishment was out of the question, but punishment overall was a word with no use in our home. I don't believe in punishment. I believe in dialogue and persuasion, which is a two-way road by the way. I can be persuaded by her as much as she can be persuaded by me. We keep it democratic. I've never tried to instil fear in her. She's now 13 and I've NEVER had a problem with her! She is a dream child really. Other people have nothing but praise for her good manners and independent personality. Our relationship is based on respect and trust and she has matured to a point where she is able to put ME back in line when I lose my temper. I'm infinitely happy and proud about her! So, those of you parents to be out there, I've just a couple of words for you: DON'T BITE to the lectures about spoiling and destroying your children! Break the chain of violence and abuse NOW! There is another way for things to be done AND IT WORKS! I am but mad north-northwest
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PunkMistress said: Do you have children? I explain in my latter post. I don't talk all theory. I've put it in action and it actually WORKS! I am but mad north-northwest
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PunkMistress said: They are not less human, but they are children. They have not earned an adult's place in society. Yes, earned.
No, that's not how it is. You don't earn the adult's place in society. You just grow up inevitably and society automatically hands it to you, no questions asked... I am but mad north-northwest
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porfyrivrohi said: Revolution said: That's far from the truth...and stretching a bit too far. It's my job as a parent to raise a well behaved, respectful child. The child has to have boundaries, because it's their job to push those boundaries, to see how much they can get away with.....You don't think that a kid who doesn't get physically punished is going to exceed those boundaries more often? Do you even have kids? That's what they do...
No, that's NOT what they do! You've got it all wrong, that's what YOU HAVE TAUGHT them to do. If you are unable to show your kids boundaries in a civilized and respectful manner, please at least don't try to scare future parents who are open-minded and reject violence. My daughter and I are the living proof that your arguments are false. I've raised her in a non-violent environment where not only physical punishment was out of the question, but punishment overall was a word with no use in our home. I don't believe in punishment. I believe in dialogue and persuasion, which is a two-way road by the way. I can be persuaded by her as much as she can be persuaded by me. We keep it democratic. I've never tried to instil fear in her. She's now 13 and I've NEVER had a problem with her! She is a dream child really. Other people have nothing but praise for her good manners and independent personality. Our relationship is based on respect and trust and she has matured to a point where she is able to put ME back in line when I lose my temper. I'm infinitely happy and proud about her! So, those of you parents to be out there, I've just a couple of words for you: DON'T BITE to the lectures about spoiling and destroying your children! Break the chain of violence and abuse NOW! There is another way for things to be done AND IT WORKS! Of course either way doesn't work 100% of the time...believe me, I've seen it first hand...an undisciplined child can be a muthaphucka. Perception and perspective come into play also...what you believe may not be what others see. Congrats to us for having great children, however we got there... Thanks for the laughs, arguments and overall enjoyment for the last umpteen years. It's time for me to retire from Prince.org and engage in the real world...lol. Above all, I appreciated the talent Prince. You were one of a kind. | |
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some children are born with good personalities.
some children are not. don't discount genetics! you are very lucky if you have a naturally well tempered sweet child....but that isn't what some of us were dealing with. | |
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BklynBabe said: some children are born with good personalities.
some children are not. don't discount genetics! you are very lucky if you have a naturally well tempered sweet child....but that isn't what some of us were dealing with. Don't forget that they inherit those genes from YOU again, so either way you can't blame it on the child. And the thing is, if you are an ill-tempered person your child will pick that up imitating anyway, genes or not... I'm not a firm believer of genetics having the upper hand though... I am but mad north-northwest
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he is his daddy's child  | |
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porfyrivrohi said: BklynBabe said: some children are born with good personalities.
some children are not. don't discount genetics! you are very lucky if you have a naturally well tempered sweet child....but that isn't what some of us were dealing with. Don't forget that they inherit those genes from YOU again, so either way you can't blame it on the child. And the thing is, if you are an ill-tempered person your child will pick that up imitating anyway, genes or not... I'm not a firm believer of genetics having the upper hand though... I'll say it again, I have 3 children (one that is a teen), and your presume much when you say that my kids pretend to be respectful. My children are not only respectful to me but are respectful to others as well. My kids are not overly sheltered either. We live in the inner city, and my kids live in a loving and nurturing environment. They are street smart and excellent students, my son has gained an academic scholarship to the university he is attending. He doesn't pretend to respect me, I don't use spanking as a form of "affection"or love LOL. I use spanking as a form of discipline and yes, I actually talk to my kids so that they can understand why and how I do things, that is the difference and you are so off the mark on that one its ridiculous. Kudos for you for not having a need to spank your ONE child... but don't ever think your answers are the right ones for everybody. Your child may not do as well as mine do where I live, so for each his own. I do not judge your parenting skills, don't you judge mine. My success with my kids and their own successes speaks for itself. I don't have problematic children, and adults find my kids to be a joy to be around. You do you... Imma keep doing me.  [Edited 10/10/09 15:17pm] | |
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