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PrintableFor the record, this has nothing to do with me. 
I love my in-laws. They're my only family down here, and have welcomed me and my girls into the family from day one. I haven't demanded that Chris do anything. In fact, I cried like a baby when he told me not to speak to or call my mother-in-law. 
This is a grown son asking his parents to respect him as an adult. It's sad that all they can do is criticize. They had one child, and Chris was a good kid who really gave them no problems. We are in a completely different situation with four kids, one of whom has severe ADHD, and my in-laws seem to feel that just because our home can be chaotic at times, this somehow means we're screwups who have no control over our kids. They don't ever give their son a word of support or encouragement; that's gone on long before I came into the picture. They, especially my father-in-law, are constantly pointing out what they feel he is doing wrong or what the children are doing wrong. He'll get on his soapbox and not shut up until he's exhausted himself and everyone else.  I just wish they could see what a great job their son is doing. They should be proud that they raised such a good man.
We take our job as parents very seriously, and part of that is modeling healthy relationships with sensible boundaries. All of our kids have been through some sort of trauma with other family members who were either abusive or simply don't know how to fucking act. It's important that we make this stand and draw these lines, as much for the kids as for our own sanity. | |
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PunkMistress said: For the record, this has nothing to do with me.
I love my in-laws. They're my only family down here, and have welcomed me and my girls into the family from day one. I haven't demanded that Chris do anything. In fact, I cried like a baby when he told me not to speak to or call my mother-in-law.
This is a grown son asking his parents to respect him as an adult. It's sad that all they can do is criticize. They had one child, and Chris was a good kid who really gave them no problems. We are in a completely different situation with four kids, one of whom has severe ADHD, and my in-laws seem to feel that just because our home can be chaotic at times, this somehow means we're screwups who have no control over our kids. They don't ever give their son a word of support or encouragement; that's gone on long before I came into the picture. They, especially my father-in-law, are constantly pointing out what they feel he is doing wrong or what the children are doing wrong. He'll get on his soapbox and not shut up until he's exhausted himself and everyone else. I just wish they could see what a great job their son is doing. They should be proud that they raised such a good man.
We take our job as parents very seriously, and part of that is modeling healthy relationships with sensible boundaries. All of our kids have been through some sort of trauma with other family members who were either abusive or simply don't know how to fucking act. It's important that we make this stand and draw these lines, as much for the kids as for our own sanity. y'all are good people and no doubt in my mind, good parents...if you need me to tighten Chris' folks up, let me know...I can be very persuasive :cracksknuckles:  | |
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roodboi said: PunkMistress said: For the record, this has nothing to do with me.
I love my in-laws. They're my only family down here, and have welcomed me and my girls into the family from day one. I haven't demanded that Chris do anything. In fact, I cried like a baby when he told me not to speak to or call my mother-in-law.
This is a grown son asking his parents to respect him as an adult. It's sad that all they can do is criticize. They had one child, and Chris was a good kid who really gave them no problems. We are in a completely different situation with four kids, one of whom has severe ADHD, and my in-laws seem to feel that just because our home can be chaotic at times, this somehow means we're screwups who have no control over our kids. They don't ever give their son a word of support or encouragement; that's gone on long before I came into the picture. They, especially my father-in-law, are constantly pointing out what they feel he is doing wrong or what the children are doing wrong. He'll get on his soapbox and not shut up until he's exhausted himself and everyone else. I just wish they could see what a great job their son is doing. They should be proud that they raised such a good man.
We take our job as parents very seriously, and part of that is modeling healthy relationships with sensible boundaries. All of our kids have been through some sort of trauma with other family members who were either abusive or simply don't know how to fucking act. It's important that we make this stand and draw these lines, as much for the kids as for our own sanity. y'all are good people and no doubt in my mind, good parents...if you need me to tighten Chris' folks up, let me know...I can be very persuasive :cracksknuckles: I can put in a call too.  | |
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I think it's a well written letter and hopefully good will come out of this. I would take out the "fuck around on my wife" part...maybe replace the 'fuck' with 'fool'...maybe it's just me but I don't like to curse in front of my parents. It's a respect kinda thing.
Good luck! | |
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PinkOrchid said: American people are crazy. GD sucks ass these days, too many American folk posting crap
yep..JUST Americans are crazy. That statement you just made...NO! that's not crazy at all! 
 "not a fan" yeah...ok | |
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Shorty said: PinkOrchid said: American people are crazy. GD sucks ass these days, too many American folk posting crap
yep..JUST Americans are crazy. That statement you just made...NO! that's not crazy at all!
| |
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PunkMistress said: For the record, this has nothing to do with me.
I love my in-laws. They're my only family down here, and have welcomed me and my girls into the family from day one. I haven't demanded that Chris do anything. In fact, I cried like a baby when he told me not to speak to or call my mother-in-law.
This is a grown son asking his parents to respect him as an adult. It's sad that all they can do is criticize. They had one child, and Chris was a good kid who really gave them no problems. We are in a completely different situation with four kids, one of whom has severe ADHD, and my in-laws seem to feel that just because our home can be chaotic at times, this somehow means we're screwups who have no control over our kids. They don't ever give their son a word of support or encouragement; that's gone on long before I came into the picture. They, especially my father-in-law, are constantly pointing out what they feel he is doing wrong or what the children are doing wrong. He'll get on his soapbox and not shut up until he's exhausted himself and everyone else. I just wish they could see what a great job their son is doing. They should be proud that they raised such a good man.
We take our job as parents very seriously, and part of that is modeling healthy relationships with sensible boundaries. All of our kids have been through some sort of trauma with other family members who were either abusive or simply don't know how to fucking act. It's important that we make this stand and draw these lines, as much for the kids as for our own sanity. extra big hug for you erin seems that i was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before   | |
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PinkOrchid said: American people are crazy. GD sucks ass these days, too many American folk posting crap
My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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JerseyKRS said: Shorty said: yep..JUST Americans are crazy. That statement you just made...NO! that's not crazy at all!
so did you give the letter to your folx? how'd it go? I'm kinda hoping just writing it was theraputic for you...and you didn't ever give it to them. "not a fan" yeah...ok | |
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I like this! Perfectly assertive. Sorry you are going through this. | |
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Shorty said: JerseyKRS said: so did you give the letter to your folx? how'd it go? I'm kinda hoping just writing it was theraputic for you...and you didn't ever give it to them.  I gave it to them a few days ago, haven't heard from them though.  | |
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I haven't talked to my mom and step dad in 5 months for the very same reason lol. But big props for writing a very well written letter. And keep up the amazing job both of you. It isn't the load that breaks us down, it's the way we carry it. | |
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JerseyKRS said: Shorty said: so did you give the letter to your folx? how'd it go? I'm kinda hoping just writing it was theraputic for you...and you didn't ever give it to them. I gave it to them a few days ago, haven't heard from them though.  I hope they take it well. keep us posted."not a fan" yeah...ok | |
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PunkMistress said: For the record, this has nothing to do with me.
I love my in-laws. They're my only family down here, and have welcomed me and my girls into the family from day one. I haven't demanded that Chris do anything. In fact, I cried like a baby when he told me not to speak to or call my mother-in-law.
This is a grown son asking his parents to respect him as an adult. It's sad that all they can do is criticize. They had one child, and Chris was a good kid who really gave them no problems. We are in a completely different situation with four kids, one of whom has severe ADHD, and my in-laws seem to feel that just because our home can be chaotic at times, this somehow means we're screwups who have no control over our kids. They don't ever give their son a word of support or encouragement; that's gone on long before I came into the picture. They, especially my father-in-law, are constantly pointing out what they feel he is doing wrong or what the children are doing wrong. He'll get on his soapbox and not shut up until he's exhausted himself and everyone else. I just wish they could see what a great job their son is doing. They should be proud that they raised such a good man.
We take our job as parents very seriously, and part of that is modeling healthy relationships with sensible boundaries. All of our kids have been through some sort of trauma with other family members who were either abusive or simply don't know how to fucking act. It's important that we make this stand and draw these lines, as much for the kids as for our own sanity. 
You two rock  | |
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JerseyKRS said: thank you so much to all of you. it really helps.
 You're an incredible person ... | |
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Talked to Jersey's mother yesterday.
Her exact words? "This letter sucks." | |
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PunkMistress said: Talked to Jersey's mother yesterday.
Her exact words? "This letter sucks." Well now know where his charm came from. | |
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PunkMistress said: Talked to Jersey's mother yesterday.
Her exact words? "This letter sucks." oh my! well...least she's being honest about how she feels.   "not a fan" yeah...ok | |
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PunkMistress said: Talked to Jersey's mother yesterday.
Her exact words? "This letter sucks." | |
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Sorry that your family is going through this, I hope things get better in your world and that your parents can respect your wishes.
My Mom (when she was alive) would come over to my house at dinner time, to peek in my pots and pans and critique everything.  | |
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