I spend so much time alone right now that even more time alone would not be beneficial in any way I think. I'm taking steps to be more social--even spent this past weekend with two friends in Jersey City. I would never have done that a few years ago.

sextonseven said:

I understand you very well
when we isolated ourselves to write, above all a dissertation, we were in another world
I went by that, and I am still to recover; two years of the defense of the work passed and... it was not worth the effort; now I try to balance among being hermita (or to assume my difficulty in leaving a brute investigation routine) or to enter in a social one that it enervates me and that it brutalizes me. Weekends to pass with friends yes, but suddenly it seems that you/they are whole very busy, full of things to do and me, still in my hangover, I feel stupid for not pleasing to do me even anything... almost anything; yesterday I gave my list to Zombie of possibilities that can contribute to improve the life; lacked this:
> weekends to pass with friends
thank you

ingamilo said:

Yes, it does seem harder to find that kind of time with friends. These friends in particular and I promised to spend more weekends together because we had such a good time.

dustysgirl said:

that is my experience too
not alone, but lonely
more so now than when I was single
I also have got so used to it it's become my normal state and I now prefer it

CalhounSq said:

Exactly. My alone time is carefully planned and I guard it like a hawk.

My work is all about tending to the needs of family and patients (Love my Job), Guide and train our exceptional volunteers, greet and meet outside contributers, special guests/celebrities... you name it. I do all this with a very positive upbeat step. But it can get a little overwhelming, due to how much I give of myself... I am very attentive to most people I interact with, including my family (my aunt and uncle who I tend to on many of my days off), which gives me one day (on a weekend) maybe all to myself... if I am lucky, maybe two-three times a month.

So when I get a day, all to myself... heaven permit, certain people better be sure it is an emergency for the call or unannounced visit (which I don't get these too often unless it is my sister, and she knows better now)

As for the relationship I am in... I seriously love his company, but his schedule is even crazier than mine, way...

I have yet to tire of his presence (I have known him for years), which is a beautiful thing really.

However, I feel my work is my social time, it holds a great amount of inspiration each day for me, it get's overwhelming emotionally sometimes due to the stress of the family or patients or workload (which I take in and feel immensely). But coming home to silence, calm and peace... refuels me to some degree to give again the next day.

I don't feel I would give at the same degree if I had the care of children or more constant family waiting when I get home, I would definitely have to conserve more for a immediate family (such as my own child) if that time ever comes. I know this.

Ps~ I don't like clubbing, or big crowds for the most part. If I choose to be around people I usually make sure they are of positive mind, good energy and I can learn something of good interest from them. That sounds so snotty, but it is true.

You sound so dreamy. I love the term, romantical relationships.

ZombieKitten said:

Wow I had a 17 year long relationship and I hardly ever felt lonely. When it ended I felt extremely lonely. I don't think it's obviuos to feel that way.

sextonseven said:

moments like that are precious, always grab the opportunity!

Serious said:

It sounds like the way their husbands treat them is the way your ex treats you NOW.

ZombieKitten said:

I would likewise like to take the opportunity to visit dear org friends whenever I can.

sextonseven said:

Are you the type of person that craves company or solitude? Does being with other people drain you or energise you? Do you feel the need to be alone to be able to recharge?

ingamilo said:

Yes, it does seem harder to find that kind of time with friends. These friends in particular and I promised to spend more weekends together because we had such a good time.

ZombieKitten said:

Solitude. With the exception of the very few people that I really like hangin' with, I'd rather have my nutsack plucked than socialize.

ZombieKitten said:

I would likewise like to take the opportunity to visit dear org friends whenever I can.

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

I am wait!

but your son is with you, you AREN'T alone, technically!

It's good to have friends but sometimes it is better 2 be by yourself to better understand yourself and the world around you. that's my opinion