Sometimes I get into a nasty argument with my hubby but one look from my daughter always kicks some sense into me. Kids need both parents.

pplrain said:

Wrong, children need guidance from loving, supportive males and females in their lives in a consistent way - in no way does that have to be both parents.

JustErin said:

It doesn't have to be but it helps. Kids want a sense of security, love and home and that's a good thing if it's consistently the same people. Moms and dads do matter and if they are working together and are happy with each other then that relationship benefits the children.

DesireeNevermind said:

earth to desiree, the dad aint cooperatin!

JustErin said:

It doesn't have to be but it helps. Kids want a sense of security, love and home and that's a good thing if it's consistently the same people. Moms and dads do matter and if they are working together and are happy with each other then that relationship benefits the children.

Please dont do anything without an attorney or at least court involvement, you'll just be wasting your time without the legal documents. If he's being an ass, he is probably not going to stop anyways, so...

Call your local bar association and ask what free legal services are available in your area. Another option is to start custody and support proceedings in family court yourself without an attorney. Talk to the county clerk if you aren't sure where to begin. I know it's hard, however, without court orders it is only going to get more ugly.

I know how you feel, I've been there, however, this stage WILL pass. Just make sure everything is legal. Your children deserve to be cared for and the court will enforce it (it might take a long time though). AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

My ex was horrible and was behind $20,000 in back support, years later they enforced and it has been a joy to be able to give that to my son.

And you're right, you don't need him. You and the kids will go on and have a wonderful life. Along the way, he can take care of his legal obligations though. Good luck!

Please dont do anything without an attorney or at least court involvement, you'll just be wasting your time without the legal documents. If he's being an ass, he is probably not going to stop anyways, so...

Call your local bar association and ask what free legal services are available in your area. Another option is to start custody and support proceedings in family court yourself without an attorney. Talk to the county clerk if you aren't sure where to begin. I know it's hard, however, without court orders it is only going to get more ugly.

I know how you feel, I've been there, however, this stage WILL pass. Just make sure everything is legal. Your children deserve to be cared for and the court will enforce it (it might take a long time though). AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

My ex was horrible and was behind $20,000 in back support, years later they enforced and it has been a joy to be able to give that to my son.

And you're right, you don't need him. You and the kids will go on and have a wonderful life. Along the way, he can take care of his legal obligations though. Good luck!

TotalANXiousNESS said:

WHATEVER YOU DO: DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT A LAWYER!!!

Dani, signing this is gonna fuck you. Trust me!

I just wrote up papers telling my husband he can fuckin have EVERYTHING if he will just leave me and my kids the hell alone already. I just kissed about 60,000 goodbye but I don't fuckin care!







Well he agreed to it the slimey bastard. You want it? Good! That's what your get. Call me the breeze. I do not care,





Guess wat? He agreed to it. Just gotta get it notarized and were easy like Sunday morning!





[Edited 8/25/09 18:23pm]

DesireeNevermind said:

Yes.

But that goes out the window when "Dad" isn't a dad but a piece of toxic shit.

Same applies when it's a mother who is no damn good to, or for, her kids.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Yes it does. You have to realise that it really doesn't matter what the world around you thinks of you. In the end it's about you and your happiness.

Friends, family, colleagues, the neighbours; they'll all have something to say about it. Everyone will know best. But fuck that. If you're in a bad relationship you need to get out. You need to be ready to accept the shit you'll be going through though.

It will be hard, you'll get lonely, desperate sometimes even, wanting him or her back. But always remember WHAT is is/was that made you unhappy. It can be really liberating and a huge relief eventually. Once you get to that stage you will also find the courage and energy to take on whatever lies ahead and deal with all the stuff that now makes you feel like you just want to disappear into thin air.

I’m going through something similar, although for completely different reasons. I wish you a clear head!

SlimHustle said:

YES TO ALL OF THIS!

Ace said:

That is wat I'm being told by other people irl. That u can't enforce ones behavior, notarized, court orders, whatever....which I'm already experiencing....court orders don't mean SHIT, their as worthless as the paper they come on.

The lawyer? My retainer ran out and I can't pay a lawyer anymore.

I still crack up at this thread title.

DesireeNevermind said:

It was a smart move!!! It got us on here trying to brainstorm a way out of this mess.
As I said before, go to your local courthouse and ask to speak to an attorney of the day. There are free services out there but it's a hunt. I still say hold him accountable unless he is a flame thrower or something equally dangerous!! If he comes into money,ie an inheritance, in the future, you will want your kids to have it - and they should!!

Thanks for all the great advice guys. Trust me, I do want my kids to have what their entitled to...but my main focus at the moment is keeping them away from all the bullshit he's pulling. And I'm running out of ideas and ways to do that. I am gonna go get the free representation u were talking about. Another option is a pfa, u always get a free lawyer with that and they fight hard for your rights. I was trying to avoid that route, but.....

I just wrote up papers telling my husband he can fuckin have EVERYTHING if he will just leave me and my kids the hell alone already. I just kissed about 60,000 goodbye but I don't fuckin care!

Well he agreed to it the slimey bastard. You want it? Good! That's what your get. Call me the breeze. I do not care, I'll sell myself on the street and live in a fuckin college dorm forever as long as you leave my kids alone.

Guess wat? He agreed to it. Just gotta get it notarized and were easy like Sunday morning!
[Edited 8/25/09 18:23pm]

I just thought of something. You know how kids whine just SO that you give them exactly what they want and get them out of your hair? Well in a way your old man may be doing the same to you. He may know exactly what pisses you off the quickest and makes you cry uncle, wherebye he can rape you and your little family of everything he can.
When my sister wants to drive me over the edge she gets incredibly condescending and makes accusations about me not being a fit mother. This way I back down and let her tell me how to raise my own kid. It's just crazy but adults know how to play you every bit as much as kids do.

Finally I learned to stay calm when she does her shit and refused to give up my dignity to yet another screaming match with her. I stayed calm, she went off, I stayed calm, and she looked like a fool. I call it my OBAMA act. No matter what I now NEVER let her see me sweat it just encourages her weirdness.


Oh ya. That's EXACTLY wat he's doing and I predicted it all from the very beginning. I just never thought he was gonna use my kids as a ploy in the whole thing. The reason I was entertaining the idea of signing off of everything was to stop this shit with the kids from happening.



I don't want you to put your children in harms way for a million dollars; yet at the same time I don't want his actions to be rewardeD by him getting exactly what he wants...EVERYTHING.

And they leave this post on here, but delete everybody elses?
oh well... It is wonderful for children to have both parents that get along...
but not good if they don't....and how do u figure U (F'ed) urself if u got the kids? U can replace material things.