I bartend 2 nites a week n every nite on his way home from work the owner starts sending me crazy texts that just get grosser n grosser as the nite goes on. I don't wanna totally ignore him cuz he's doin me a favor, so I just respond to them like : LOL, or ur f'd up aren't u, or huhhhhh?

But it makes everything so akward. I don't go in again till Saturday, but then I feel weird around him. :-/ gross!

does your boss have a boss? then i think they should see the text messages.

if your boss is THE boss i would look for another job, but in the meantime let the other bartenders know you're getting these messages.

Simply put




Me: Look, Anx. I know Ur my mod, but this is creepy. Leave. me. alone. xxx000

Imago said:

1. shut up

2. put the robin costume on like i told you to

3. get back under the desk

UGH!!!!

don't you have like a sexual harassment in the workplace help agency kind of place?

Anxiety said:

God, I'd look like a chubby Bobby Trendy in a Christmas Reef themed bedroom kink getup. !

Anxiety said:

ew

report his ass.

He only does this through text? Does he say things face to face?

I'd like to help but it's difficult for me without actually reading the filth your boss is sending you.

ZombieKitten said:

I guess. The guy gets so fucked up every nite tho, I seriously doubt he even knows he's doing it. Plus I kinda feel bad cuz he's helping me out a lot rite now, but still.....
I'm not into it. At all.

DanceWme said:

on a serious note, this is the route I would take in a corporate environment definately, especially if the statements are explicit.

I don't understand why folks would even entertain hookup with someone else from work--it's bad business.

But she's a bartender and the environment she's in may not make it so easy for her. There may not even be an H.R. department or anything like that. Worse yet, the boss may own the place.

It just depends on the situation I guess. I really don't know what'd I do if it weren't a corporate environment.

Actually, I could probably use a good blowjob, but don't interrupt my meetings or drag down my productivity--it's really rude and creepy.

DanceWme said:

No. Not yet. He always wants me to stay after hrs or cum in on my nites off n get f'd up but I never do.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

That's not cool.

You gotta do something.

i'm so lucky i work in a gigantic rat's nest of upper-middle-class christian republicans.

not that their kind can't be lecherous and gross...they're just easier to shame.

He's the owner.

Ok n it's a little more complicated.

Hes also my (soon 2 b X) husbands, sisters X husband.....and he also has a truck.

Imago said:

yeah ur right and stuff

ignore him unless it escalates.

my boss did the same thing to me, but it was okay cause i was into her too we lucked out and she transferred to a different site before any office rumors started

TotalANXiousNESS said:

u said he's doing u a favor and helping u out a lot.
and thats why he feels its ok to do what he's doing.


ugh i dont know

sorry u have to deal with this

TotalANXiousNESS said:

If he helps you move he's gonna want to put some of those texts to the test.

You might wanna UHaul this one, hon.
[Edited 8/19/09 19:40pm]

johnart said:

exactly.

Dani, u better start actin' like u batshit crazy.
maybe he'll leave u alone.

when he text u and wants u to come to the bar on ur nights off. Tell him ur having a devil worshippers meeting. And its ur night to sacrifice the goats.

DanceWme said:

johnart said:

Ya see that's wat Im afraid of. Sucks cuz I really need the help but I'm not putting myself in any situation where I feel obligated to let sum schmuck cop a feel.
I guess as long as I keep blowing it off he'll get the drift.

DanceWme said:

Anxiety said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

what if you showed him the texts one day early in your shift and ask if they were meant for you?

OOOH OOOH OOOH....I know the answer to this one!! I am an EO advisor....

First off, if you want to handle it yourself, tell him to stop...period! If he refuses or keeps doing it, then report him....OR.....

Write him a letter (and keep it relatively clean) telling him that he's offending/creeping you out and you want the behavior to stop! again if he chooses not to, report him.....OR....

Have someone you trust go with you and have them act as your mediary...if it doesn't stop, report him....OR....

Eshew the previous things, and report him!....BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL....

KEEP EVERYTHING THAT HE'S SENT YOU!!! If you can, see if you can get a printout from your service provider because it's almost a virtual certainty that he will deny, deny, deny.....

I really hope you sort this idiot out....good luck!!

DanceWme said:

Perfect !!!!

reneGade20 said:

BINGO!

...and with all this, she can also add in that casual mention of goat sacrifice thingy when she's at work for just you know, general, pleasant conversation

Tell him to stop.

If that doesn't work then you can go down the legal route.

I believe it's perfectly possible to do the second without taking even the first into consideration, but then you'll end up doing the wrong thing yourself as well. I'll give a little perspective: I dated a woman earlier this year who went through a rather high-profile harassment case (this was after I stopped seeing her though). It was dealt in the media and she was even interviewed during prime time as well. Both were working at rather well-paid positions. The problem from my perspective is that I know perfectly well that she's a sexually upfront woman and likes to make a lot of dirty jokes herself too - it's just that her supervisor constantly kept on going too far. The problem is if you can be considered to having "encouraged" them to some degree it can get tricky; in her case she was rather lucky because the guy and a few others as a result could be indeed proven to having gone too far (they sent her even, uhm, dirty postcards).

I don't know all the detals though.

Ask for a raise! :nod:

Or you can report him...whichever is more beneficial for you. :shrug:

:lol: