novabrkr said:

It's tough when you're trying to hold on to a job and support your family and shit like this happens

my friend was in a similar situation and things went from bad to worse.

in the end, her boss and his new wife who was 19 years his junior had a
baby.

the day she had the baby, he was in the office, giving my friend a ring
and telling her "i just had this kid and you have your boyfriend so you
should only wear this at work. but you HAVE to wear it, get it?"

that situation too was a very complicated one and she stuck it out with
varying degrees of awkwardness and sometimes even fear.

in the end, when she was already -secretly- looking for a new job, he
came in one day and just told her "pack you shit and go, you're fired".

that was that.

i told her she should have walked out a long time before because now it
will always be this nasty thing where he dominated and pushed her into
a situation she didn't want to be in and before she reacted he fired her
as well. so she never got a chance to say/do something about it and now
it's eating her up.

only way to deal with this type of shit: immediate action. just show him
his own text the next day and tell him that you appreciate what he is
doing for you at the moment and that you really don't want things to be
messed up because of these type of things coming from him.

just make it clear but not too dramatic. give him a chance to act like he
is shocked at himself, yelling "oh god i was so wasted i don't remember
any of that, it will never happen again".

that way you make your stand and he will probably back off. if not, look
for a new position asap.

i don't know much but i do know that i would rather be flipping burgers at
macdonalds than having to go into the office fearing sexual harassment or
worse.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

And he drives home ?

If it's so bad that you can't handle it any more and he is the owner...I would hire an attorney.

Man up.....

Oh and Dani.... I'll take a Jack and Coke please...

A lot of the responses (Dan being an exception) are forgetting that this is a bar. It's not a corporate environment. There is no reporting or anything down that road.

If this guy is helping you move, giving you a job, and sending you suggestive messages....he's going to be looking for more than "copping a feel", trust me on that one.

My advice? Play dumb constantly. Tell him you turned text messaging off on your phone. Ignore them. IF he escalates to in person, just go the old "I'm going through a divorce and I'm not ready" route.

Or just have sex, maybe you'll get a raise.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

That´s a fucked up situation. You should speak about this with him and , if necessary, threaten him with your boyfriend or something.

By the way....could you post some of the really gross stuff he wrote?
Just curious.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Eh?

JerseyKRS said:

Ya, every time I read 'report him', I was thinking report him to who???

reneGade20 said:

I'd go down this route! Definitely try let him know how you feel first before reporting him.....and STOP replying to the texts! Especially with cutesy little "LoL"s and stuff. That gives the impression that you like it

Nah see, I'm not as nice as some of ya'll.

Don't sweep this under the rug. Tell him to stop. Period. And don't leave any room for him to misunderstand. The next girl
he tries this with might not be strong enough to keep him at bay. Help a future sista out.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this... Good luck.

I think Dani likes it.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Girl that's your blue excercize ball of employment right there.

1. you need a truck

2. you need employment

3. He's got blue balls and you can't get passed them.



I have no clue what to say. He obviously already knows your situation and seems to not care. Perhaps you can say that you can't mingle with him for fear your husband will use it against you in a custody case?

Either way, don't feel guilty for lying your ass off.

I understand the whole bar/owner thing...but all employees, no matter who they work for....private or public...are covered by the EEOC...unless this person is running an under the table, cash only business, they fall under all of the legalese of the EEOC....so that's who she should report him to if he doesn't stop! Take that shit to a federal level because sexual harassment is sexual harassment!

**you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming**

Anxiety said:

Do what I did and reply with
"OK... but my partner would like to know what exactly you mean by this
He saw the message and would like to have a chat"

This reply that I sent stopped an extremely awkward situation at work.

Ps you can also let him know that the texts are not that funny and are starting to bug you. Don't be shy, he doesn't owe you anything and he is trying to take advantage.

Good Luck - I hope it works out for you!

SlimHustle said:

whoa shit

As long as he isn't suggesting sex with you or touching you inappropriate, I wouldn't worry about. That's what it's like when you work in a bar environment.

Is he offering you dirty proposals or just sending you dirty pics/videos?