Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

http://decentcommunity.or...-as-dildo/

Well, that's certainly a way to go.

R.I.P Zelaira

Imago said:

Imago said:

IN HER DRIVEWAY???

Damn, her husband must've been bringing the HEAT.

bboy87 said:

SCNDLS said:

on that mandingo status

Good grief!!

bboy87 said:

He prolly did the initial damage and the jackhammer was just the last straw.

SCNDLS said:

blowin. the. back. OUT

carlcranshaw said:

Nah, Soft and Wet
[Edited 5/21/09 15:10pm]

I mean how the fuck horny are you? Good grief. How about the story of a woman who was injured because she agreed to let her boyfriend use a modified electric drill as a sex toy!?!

Or a story I heard on the radio about this man who could not please his girlfriend but described how she used to do alone time. She would pleasure herself with a metal vibrator and there were wires that came out of it. When she got to the magic moment she would reach over and grab a metal pole that was attached to the little table.

2 wires were attached to the pole. One went to the vibrator, the other to a car battery. She would complete the circuit to get. off.



.
[Edited 5/21/09 15:12pm]

SCNDLS said:

slushy

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I've seen something


there's a whole website dedicated to them called Fucking Machines

shit looks homegirl is fucking the cotton gin

funkpill said:

oh my god!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Imago said:

bboy87 said:

She was just doing TOO much.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

:takes notes:






I jest of course. Even I'm not that freaky!
[Edited 5/21/09 15:18pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I betcha sparks flew out her pussy.

Really, what human being can follow that? Seriously, I'm asking the Org? Anyone? Anyone?

MrsGoodnight said:

Suuuuurrreee, you're not.

MrsGoodnight said:

I hear these stories and compare them to my sex life and I can't imagine how religious people have any problems with my sexuality

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

was watching this show on SPIKE TV where a woman died pleasuring herself with a carrot. She shaved it too sharply and one of the edges tore her vaginal wall and caused a air pocket to get into her arteries killing her once it reached her heart. Killdo was what they called it

I grabbed my crotch through out the whole special, thats how fuckin' cringed I was.

how dumb


her funeral is gonna be pretty awkward.

SCNDLS said:

her poor boyfriend. Bitch needed a telephone pole to get off