Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas



1. I prefer breasts to legs

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!

4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

5. I've never seen a better spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you put it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.

18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning

and finally-

20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!


All questionable.. I'm sure some of these are said all year round too!

You can also say this:

Honey, I believe I want to fuck you in the ass... you know, to get in the christmas spirit.

IceNine said:

Also... if you catch someone eating chicken instead of turkey at Christmas dinner, you can say:

HEY, get that cock out of your mouth!!! This is Christmas, for Christ's sake! Have some respect.

IceNine said:

LMAO! Dayumm, I have that problem alot!

How come you can never find the Turkey Baster On Christmas morning too?

Or the Christmas tree you bought is 8ft instead of 7ft and is too tall for your living room

Damn Honey, it is just too big, its not gonna fit in...we'll have to take a bit off the top...

Or if the cat has just torn up all the presents:

Honey, I am about to fuck that pussy UP!!!

Or your christmas cracker is proving too difficult to Crack and before you give up you say...

Just give it a firm grip and tug it harder!!!

You dont get as many Christmas presents as you get older...

Why does Santas 'sack load' get smaller every year?

REDFEATHERS said:

Impotent Santa Claus!!! hahahaha! :Grin:

'dre

Disaster strikes on Christmas Day as clever daddy decides to arrive dressed up as Santa and arrive in style down the chimney, unfortunately his beer belly is too big and is wedged in the chimney...as the kids whine ..

Mummy says..


"he is stuck half way so can't cum yet..."

damn, that was a really bad attempt...

You are so pleased with the Real Cristmas tree you bought this year and say:

I am so happy, it stayed up all Christmas and never drooped once...

After falling on the ice outside for the 3rd time you say

It is too damned slippery, I just can't stay up...

Do you want me to rub butter on your buns and then stuff that fucking thing?

SexLovely said:

00769BAD said:

in refference to ones sister inlaw (or mother inlaw)

00769BAD said:

LMAO I never thought of that one

WHATCH OUT, SHE GONNA BLOW!!!

now SPIT THAT OUT!!!
you know when one of the family is eating off the floor

...and before you go to bed, dont forget to leave 'something nice out' for Santa for when 'he comes'...

'something nice out' for Santa for when 'he comes'... [/quote]

Whatl like tissue?

sag10 said:

Whatl like tissue? [/quote]







..maybe...

...Now go sit on Santa's knee, tell him you have been a good girl/boy and tell him what you want...

Opening presents and Christmas Wrapping paper recycling...(a favourite of my Mums)


Now pull it off slowly, careful not to rip it...we can keep it for next year...




[This message was edited Thu Dec 12 10:50:26 PST 2002 by REDFEATHERS]

Christmas Stocking Myth...


The bigger you get, the more you will receive...









Is it true?

WHATCH HER BEFORE SHE CHOKES ON THAT!!!
feedin yo dog a chicken bone

Mommy's making the EGG NOG

She said:

It's to thick to swallow.