Here is the expanded version of the question:

Let's say that you have lived in your house for ten years and a new neighbor moves in with a dog that barks at you every time you go outside and it looks at you like it wants to kill you. Let's say, for instance, that this fucking mutt growled and barked at you and your family every single time you went outside when the dog was awake. What would you do in this situation?

Would you:

A. Poison the dog slowly with rat poison-laced dog treats.

B. Ask the neighbor to do something about the dog.

C. Give the neighbor the savage beating of his life for having such an annoying fucking mutt.

D. Wait until the dog is asleep, muzzle it, tie it down and fuck it.

E. Move.

or

You can write your own answer.

B... tell the neighbor to do something about the dog.

You ask a lot of questions--I thought they said you were smart j/k

answer f. Throw rocks at the fucker

If I had children, it would be time for a privacy fence.

However, I would give it time. The dog may just be
trying to establish its territory. It doesn't know
you yet, either. How you react to the dog sets up
your relationship permanently.

If it continues charging over time, then take some
action. The dog doesn't know how to socialize, and
the owner isn't helping.

Just thinking out loud here; but does it really matter if a dog barks at you? I mean as long as the dog is tied up and can't cause you any harm and it doesn't bark at night and keep you awake is it really that bad?

lovemachine said:

yeah but the dog is barkin like he owns the fuckin place already..and he's only been there a short while!

rdhull said:

tag it with my paintball gun. works every time...

let me clarify. if it gets loose, and it's in my yard, it's fair game. that's when the paintballs fly...
[This message was edited Tue Dec 10 18:25:47 PST 2002 by twonabomber]

B and if that doesnt work,well it has to be D

Much love Pochacco

IceNine said:

E.All of the above

as a large dog owner

i would

A. Poison the complaining neighbor slowly with rat poison-laced dog treats

I'd piss on it til it drowned.

Introduce yourself to your new neighbor and bring the dog a welcoming gift, such as a piece of red meat. Instead of barking, you'll get a tail waggin' "Hey, buddy, any more meat?!" from now on.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

how far do u shoot piss through that penis


:O



send me a picture of that

IceNine said:

go to the JUNKYARD and catch one of the
strays (a big one) over there and take
it home with you...
when you get a chance, THROW IT OVER THE FENCE.
if the one you got is HUNGRY enough...

00769BAD said:

throw it over the fence...??? before it eats you right..?

Twonabomber, thats cruel!!!


I too have large dogs and The Max is on the right track. Buy a small bag of doggie treats (mini milk bones) and toss one to the dog every time he barks at you. Soon, your neighbors dog will want to be your dog and protect you and your property too! He'll figure out your schedule and be sitting there wagging his tail waiting for his new friend. It works!!

Anyone who poisons any animal (for any reason) deserves the wrath of God upon them, and if God is a just God, then you will die in just as painful a way.

Many times, a dog will try to "protect" his/her territory by barking and attempting to intimidate potential interlopers... since the imaginary person in this thread had been living there for ten years before the interloper of a dog came and started trying to assert his/her dominance by snapping and barking, I feel that the dog is out of line.

Someone needs to make the dog an offer he/she can't refuse.

codshort said:

cruel is shooting at the kids when they stray into the yard. we give them a little more lead, though... (no winking emoticon to use...)

dogs are supposed to be tied up, even out here in the sticks. play by the rules, and there won't be any problems.

cats in the road is a completely different issue. they're fair game all the time...

twonabomber said:

That makes you sound like a heartless fool.

well...if the cat owner loves it so much, why the fuck do they let it run loose? you don't let your kid run loose...

befriend the dog, Ice. i called the doggie psychic hotline for ya and they beamed in on your situation. told me to tell you the dog is frightened and feeling all alone. there was another dog it used to play with, back in the old neighborhood where it used to live. it misses its former friend and is lonely.

so, Ice, here's where the befirending part comes in: you get down on your hands and knees, doggie style, and bark back at the dog, thereby establishing yourself as part of its pack. then, after it has accepted you, fight it for the chewy toy and generally romp around in the yard with it, having fun. after that it will not bark at you anymore, but will stretch out the paw of friendship.

twonabomber said:

So if you happen to see a "stray child" in the road, are we back to "fair game?"

In any case, I liked your cigarette butt response on the other thread.

XxAxX said:[quote]befriend the dog, Ice. i called the doggie psychic hotline for ya and they beamed in on your situation. told me to tell you the dog is frightened and feeling all alone. there was another dog it used to play with, back in the old neighborhood where it used to live. it misses its former friend and is lonely.

so, Ice, here's where the befirending part comes in: you get down on your hands and knees, doggie style, and bark back at the dog, thereby establishing yourself as part of its pack. then, after it has accepted you, fight it for the chewy toy and generally romp around in the yard with it, having fun. after that it will not bark at you anymore, but will stretch out the paw of

Actually, this is not a true story... it is a hypothetical situation that is loosely based on a true story.

Here is the real story:

There is a neighbor down the road who has a fucking shitty little collie that barks and snaps at everyone all the time... always. The dog has been around for about the last three years and it has always barked at everyone, no matter what. My son calls the dog "that mean puppy" and hates to even ride his bicycle in the neighborhood because that stupid dog will always bark and chase him. We have to go elsewhere to avoid that little fuck and the owners don't do a damned thing about it.

I know that it is not the dog's fault, as dogs are not imbued with human intelligence and it is just acting like an animal, but the fucking owners should not allow their animal to roam outside without a leash if it is going to bark and snap at people all the time. I am too nice to call animal control and have the dog impounded, but I am getting sick of that little fuck.

Win the dog over by throwing it some really meaty dog treats. Not all dogs like biscuts. Even if this may not sound sadistic enough to you, consider that these treats are actually bad for the dogs health and will contribute to its early death.

You could also try a squirt gun. Its non violent, and pretty discreet.

or else, get The Great Snorkles out there some night to show him who's boss

Do those little collie types actually make chase and bite? I know they can make a lot of noise.

By the way, those little nervous-type dogs are extra hard to befriend.

poor little collie. he/she's probably horny. i get surly when i'm horny too. maybe he/she really does need a friend?

would having sex with a collie really be so wrong? love4oneanother y'all

Tom said:

I don't think that mutt can be won over, as it seems to hate everyone... it even barks at one of the people that live there with it... the fucking ingrate!

Maybe we can have a neighborhood picnic with dogburgers... and .

I am a vegetarian, but I sometimes wonder what that dog would taste like if it was prepared properly.

Just kidding...

TheMax said:

This particular dog will chase you and snap at you, but it has never bitten my son or anyone else that I know of. It WILL bark and chase you every single time you go anywhere near the yard where it lives... it is actually scared of people though and it will run from you if you step toward it quickly.

...but the point is that the owners suck much more than the dog does.

The poor dog doesn't know that it is being a huge asshole.