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i dont have that many rules regarding relationships. seriously. i dont know why anyone should….i mean- sure, you can have personal guidelines (keyword : personal), a standard or two can’t hurt,… and maybe you can get away with a few barely-reasonable expectations here and there- but the bottom line is: ah-uh. sah dont play that. if ya fuckin wit ME sweetheart ya better be ready for a revolution.. (lol)

(nah- im saying tho, i’m playin but i’m not [pause for patented "serious" face]…but anyway, lemme not get off track)…i dont really have any rules, but i DO have one request. one that i think is imperative to a healthy relationship and relationship-life, and i only ask it of my lovers because i ask it of myself. daily.

please. please.

babybabyplease.

beyour.

fuckin.

self.

sounds simple dont it? it should. you’ve heard this shit since you were seven. PBS tried to pump it in your brain EARLY cuz someone somewhere, stuck writing conversations for hand puppets to have, wanted his/her children to know they had a choice.. and thats my point (bare with me, cuz ima throw a couple at you): YOU have a say in your relationship (i know, its shocking huh?)…. you had a say in your last one but you didnt say shit (lol), and depending on how closely you’re paying attention this now- you might not realize you have a say in your future endeavors…

i look at “honesty in love” 2 ways (and more, yes, but 2 will suffice for now):

* (1) if YOU just be YOU- and dont hold back….i can find out EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW to know if i can love you FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE

and…

* (2) if I show you ME…i mean REALLY SHOW YOU WHO I AM…you’ll just get the fuck up and leave if you aint “the right one for me”…(and you’ll probably do it QUICKLY..)

and “whhhhy oh why would i want someone to leave so quickly” you might ask? so i can move on and find the one i was looking for in the first place.

stoopeed.

{now…. i know i know “…ouch sah, that sounds like i’d have to feel pain…i dont know if i want all that now”….lemme just get this out of the way: *ahem* if you are a fucking coward…romance is not for you. period. go play scrabble. or parcheezee [which i still have no idea -nor desire to learn- how to play].}

nah but really. you’ve been knee deep in bullshit before havent you? and did you REALLY need to wait 7 months to find out your not even compatible with the person you’ve been fuckin for 9 months? (lol)…no you didnt.

*clears throat*

-she doesnt like sensitive guys, and you’d been playing macho up until now…

-he’s been a homebody all his life but you “figured” he was just waiting for “the right reason”- so you waited too… :eyeroll:

-you thought “maybe if i grit my teeth through this now, he’ll change and return the favor later”

-you said “well…i really hate when she does that…but if i tell her she might leave me! *gasp*” :facepalm:

seriously folks. where does this get you? and no, i get it. you want love. you need that confirmation and reassurance. so you say: “fuck it. i’d rather bite my tongue than be alone”…ok…while it is true “tis better to have loved…” i sincerely doubt that many of us will leave this earth without our share of lovers (and TRUE loves at that)…my thing is… i dont think you should waste unnecessary time. essentially… in the search for “the one who will accept us for who we are” -we seem to pretend to be someone else- out of fear that we will drive the other away, and yet DEMAND they be who we want them to be- out of fear that we have to pick up and look again…anyone else see the issue?….i think an interesting thing happens when we meet someone/choose a mate, and it actually leads us perfectly into the traps we find ourselves in (90% of us at least)…goes a lil somethin like this…(like-ta-hearit?hereit-go)....

I do think it’s important to “be yourself” early on, but there is a limit to that too. If we all showed all of our worst traits on every first date no one would ever couple up.
We learn to accept flaws in people because of all of the other wonderful things they have to offer. There’s nothing wrong with playing up the good and playing down the bad early on as long as it’s done honestly.