A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three
phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions".

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".

"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration"

Moms in Therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
Mothers and their small children.
'You all have obsessions, he observed.'

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the second Mom, Ann, 'Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, 'Your obsession is alcohol.

This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth Mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little
Boy by the hand and whispered,

'Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Lets pick
Up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.'

SCNDLS said:

I love that joke. My psych. prof last semester liked to tell it to his classes.