I've been developing little ticks and habits, mostly concerning food. This has been a long time coming, but these past few months it's started to get worse.

For years as a teenager I could NOT eat off of stainless steel cutlery. I don't really have a good reason for it except that whenever I'd try I couldn't do it. I ended up going to a second-hand store and buying some silverware to set aside for my own purposes and would use those come mealtimes.

I also had a severe aversion to eating pig products. I'm not Jewish, I'm not allergic, and it's not just a matter of not liking the taste. But whenever I'd try images of Animal Farm and organ transplants and sunburnt skin would come into my head and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

But then it stopped. For a few years I was fine.

But now?

The utensil phobia is back, and it's worse. Even my beloved silverware is sitting neglected in the drawer because a lot of days I can't bring myself to use it. I went to the Co-Op and bought myself a set of heavy duty camp utensils to eat with. When I go to a restaurant, I have to take a set with me in my bag or order something I can eat with my hands. Sandwiches and burgers are getting boring.

And the meat thing is back too, but now it's also expanded. No pig, and nothing with visible connective tissue. It's taking me forever to eat any meat because I have to pick it apart carefully and wash my hands each time I touch a vein or non-meat tissue.


I understand that compulsions like these are usually related to anxiety, but though I do have ADHD and bipolar disorder, I've never been diagnosed with anything anxiety related.

What do you think I should do? It's not at the point yet where it's causing a disruption to my life, but I'm afraid it's going to get worse.

Sounds a little bit like OCD I'd suggest speaking with a professional.


[Edited 3/7/09 14:35pm]

hokie said:

I think that it might be.

Are you going through a stressful time? How long ago was it that you moved?

On that reality show The OCD House they make the phobics do exactly what they can't do. The germaphobe (as part of her treatment) was "forced" (she could have refused, but really wanted to be cured) to touch the inside of a toilet bowl and then eat a sandwich without washing her hands first, and NOTHING HAPPENED to her. She reclaimed hours of handwashing time from each day. Similar approach worked on all the others too.

Can you make yourself eat with SS cutlery? or is that just impossible?

See a doctor

Metal utensils of any sort has really always bothered me

a few yrs ago I bought myself some wonderful wooden ones - it's almost all I use at home

Yeah from one OCD peep to another - find a pro to talk to about this

ZombieKitten said:

I moved at the beginning of December.

My roommate suggested it might be because it's midterm and essay season right now, But I'm not so sure about that. I'm done everything but one essay for English.

Some days cutlery of any kind doesn't bother me. Other days I have to bust out the plastic camp set or just use my hands. It's not very consistent.
[Edited 3/7/09 15:00pm]

Mach said:

Glad to know it's not just me. Wooden, eh? I think IKEA has some...

meow85 said:

REALLY!?!?! I WANT THAT!

meow85 said:

how long until all essays are in and marked?
if you improve dramatically then, in hindsight you would be able to see more clearly

meow85 said:

I bought mine from a fair trade place - really wonderful - I love them

you are not alone- I can relate to the meat/flesh aspects HUGE as well

these are cool!

ZombieKitten said:

I'm going to check the website.

meow85 said:

if you find some, and they aren't available here, we might have to make some arrangements

ZombieKitten said:

This last essay isn't due until the 19th. After that, it really just depends on the Profs' workloads how long marking takes.

ZombieKitten said:

Looks like I was wrong. They don't have any available on the Canadian website.

meow85 said:

meow85 said:

http://www.craftalliance....poons.html



http://worldofgood.ebay.c...58490/item

I have never, ever been able to eat off proper silver utensils. Can't even touch it - gives me the shivers.

But I wear silver jewelry. Weird.

I'm perfectly normal, though.

Since it's not really interferring with your life, I'd say don't worry to much...Just try to monitor your stress levels and try to relax and possibly meditate when you're feeling anxious

hokie said:

Agreed

meow85 said:

Maybe there's a posibility to find wooden cutlery at your local Asian food market?

You might be able to track some down in the aisles where they have kitchenware, chopstsicks, etc....

I've never heard of an aversion to metal utensils.

I realize some of this could be irrational insofar as we might be dealing with earnest psychological hang-ups, but just what is it that turns y'all off to stainless steel and/or silver cutlery? The feel of the metal? That you can occasionally see fingerprints? What?
[Edited 3/7/09 22:54pm]

Lammastide said:

these things are usually irrational, like you might be scared of glitter

I don't have any advice because i have never dealt with this, i just wanna say

Mach said:

Both those sets are really nice!

Lammastide said:

I really don't have a good explanation for it, but they make me feel very uneasy. It's completely irrational, but I get this horrid sensation of dread when I try. It's something like people who have arachnophobia experience when they see Charlotte or her children, I suppose.

mdiver said:

Thanks.

JustErin said:

I can wear silver jewelry too.

But even as far as personal decoration goes, I've been leaning more towards plastics lately.