Ace said:

Like I said, shame.

And I feel this way without even seeing a pic of you. Now, THAT'S weird.

JustErin said:

My dream is to never leave my bed. I only do this "apartment" thing 'cause I don't have anyone to feed me and empty a bedpan

I love toronto at night, but all the fun is inside wherever we go. On the outside it's not always alive and crowded the way it appeared in Montreal. It's only when there are events going on, or in the clubbing district.

I do have friends who have stuff in common with me but sometimes I feel like they are just being like that to humor me. And I don't know what makes me happy anymore, it always changes. I used to have specific interests, but I'm confused right now and need a fresh change. I'm kind of a floater. Oh yes I just figured it out, maybe the record coming down at sam's was the last straw, fucking Ryerson!

alphastreet said:

What are you into that they are not?

alphastreet said:

Have you ever been in the aforementioned 'hoods in the warm-weather months?


This all sounds familiar. I would highly recommend speaking to a professional. And if he/she doesn't help, try another professional. And so on, and so on...

Life's too short to be unhappy.

JustErin said:

PORN!!! just kidding, I don't know. I made sweet friends at university who will be there until the sky goes purple and people are running everywhere, but I realized I made friends with people that don't expect much from me and feel superior, and they do not like going out at night, are not into dancing or dressing up, not into the same music as I am, etc. I do have few friends I go out with but it's beginning to feel superficial, I don't know what or who I want. Other people just make me feel scared cause I'm not funny and they are.

alphastreet said:

Ace said:

which hoods?

yeah I want to talk to someone, but went that route before and feel like I can be my own therapist, but it's not working. I just feel lost and confused. I have a steady job and though I like it, I need a life aside from work that makes me feel like I have a purpose. I used to heavily be into music, but I feel like something has killed that spirit inside of me, and it's probably brought upon from no one but myself being my own worst enemy.

JustErin said:

I love wittiness and wish i had it, but everytime I try to be I fail at it.

alphastreet said:

Queen, College, Yorkville (although Y-ville can be a little snooty).


I used to be heavily into music, now I could take it or leave it. And I've never been happier! Society'll tell ya that you're "missing out" if you're not running around, doing stupid bullshit, but who gives a feck? In the words of Andy Warhol, 'Everything is just how you decide to think about it.' I would strongly recommend this book for you:

http://www.chapters.indig...sophy%2527

alphastreet said:

You need this book:

Ace said:

you know, only in toronto will you find queen to be full of churches, and church to be full of queens...

I will check out the book soon, thanks. What do you mean by take it or leave it? I used to be so passionate about it and perform, but lost interest recently and feel like I'm in a slump and not capable of singing confidently or feeling it anymore, and it's sad cause it was my way of separating myself from everyone else in society (or my society) and making up for my lack of personality, but now I'm left with nothing but myself and have to learn to like myself or it's going to get to me

alphastreet said:

Me, too. But I don't miss it. I'll still hop around the channels when I've already heard what's on Stern and it's not like I don't like any music anymore (I have a list of about 300 songs I love in a Word doc), but I'm not anywhere near obsessive about it anymore.


People seek notoriety because they think it will make them happy. In fact, it usually has the opposite effect, in the long run.

I believe that people who are interested in you because you're famous (or because they think you have the potential to become famous) are people you don't want in your life. You've hit the nail right on the head when you say, "(I) have to learn to like myself". A good doctor will help immensely in that process.

Ace said:

oh I've always known that being famous does not equal being liked as a whole, it's the opposite, which is why I didn't get into the industry like I used to dream about as a teenager. Most people who do it from a young age do it for the wrong reasons. My problem is that I think I'm just average and performing gave me a sense of feeling better about myself or tackling my anxiety, but I tape what I do and criticize it cause that's how I grow from it, but I'm tired of my nice friends saying I'm so good and I have the special gift and talent and should continue it, even when I've talked about stopping. Those are sweet and encouraging words, but at the same time I do know if I missed one note I wanted to hold and made up for it and they can't even tell cause they were too busy worshipping my ass and me eating it all up or putting myself down. And then there are those friends I have who love to criticize anything and everything to feel better about themselves, who are jealous of everything good that happens or want to make comments for the sake of it on anything, and who can never understand why I like the music I do, and lately I've felt so repressed when even trying to jam with friends, it's not coming out the same anymore at all. I watch my old clips and go who the hell is this person? I used to dance like mj and did some dances, I can't do that anymore, the energy is gone and I suffer from a bad back.

I don't watch music videos on tv anymore, I barely ever get time now, but in a way because I'm living in the real world now working full time and paying bills , I feel like there is emptiness somewhere too, and though I believe in God and congregate and it's part of my lifestyle, I focus on being spiritual and in touch myself more than the religious aspect though I try to juggle both (had to add this in in case someone started preaching) .
[Edited 2/17/09 22:08pm]

Ace said:

Well... no, we aren't taught that in seminary.

...But some other parts of what we learn can be pretty sadomasochistic.

Ace I just got the joke, I didn't realize till today that was from The Love Guru, I have a buddy who was a backup dancer in the film.

I love living in Toronto too! It's great

Never got the big deal about Montreal. When I walked off of Rue St. Catherine at night everything else was dead. That main street is busy but everything else is dead. I prefer it when downtown is reasonably busy everywhere (as in Toronto). I also prefer the gay bars/clubs in Toronto.
[Edited 2/18/09 16:58pm]

VoicesCarry said:

lol @ rue street, that means street street!

what are some good gay bars and clubs?
[Edited 2/18/09 17:03pm]

alphastreet said:

Rue St. Catherine = Rue SAINT Catherine. It's the big daddy of streets in Montreal, much like Yonge is in Toronto.

Gay bars and clubs in Toronto - what kind of music/environment do you prefer?
[Edited 2/18/09 17:04pm]

sorry, I was having a brain fart, story of my life

here's a thought... maybe we could do something short and quick like coffee. that way, if we all hate each other we can do the beverage thAng and go on about our merry ways. or, we can all attend the next purplelectricity prince party with our respective friends that way too the small talk would be kept to a minimal.
what say you?

we have purple parties here?

alphastreet said:

Sure! They post flyers on telephone posts, etc., all over the city when they're coming up.

Lammastide said:

I see madonna ones all the time, I saw people in prince t shirts on occasion, but that's it

alphastreet said:

http://www.purplelectricity.com/

Ace said:

Wow! The last party was at the Drake. I'm impressed.

Do you go to these, Ace?

Lammastide said:

Never been. I did offer to go with SammiJ a looong time ago, but that never came to pass.

Which reminds me: where is that girl?

.
[Edited 2/19/09 21:13pm]

Ace said:

Wait a minute. I'm trippin'. I was thinking of the Four Seasons hotel. BIG difference! The Drake is still cool, though, in a 1940s' revival chic sorta way.

Sammi? I think I've seen her post a few times lately. But, yeah, she hasn't been around much lately.
[Edited 2/19/09 21:14pm]

not sure if I really want to go, but thanks for the offer