okay, this is the shit that drives me crazy: (mind you, this is just what I could find today, upon arriving home from work)

pasta, on the floor



cough drop wrapper and twist tie, on the stairs



juice, left out of the fridge, with the top off, since this morning



the scar cream was picked up and put away because they were told to do it, but why bother cleaning up the cream that spilled from the open container? who cares?!!?



looks like a tissue, dirty washcloth and a hair clip, in the guest bathroom sink



this is one of their favorites, apparently "clean the dishes" means putting whatever goes in the dishwasher in, and just leave the rest in the sink

these kids tell us everyday that their rooms are clean, here's the oldest's room:

next in line:

next:

next:

upstairs bathroom: (notice the toilet was taped up because they couldn't understand the concept of not using an entire roll of paper to wipe their asses, they now have to ask us everytime they need to use the toilet)

garage floor:

Ya, all that would drive me insane.

JustErin said:

it's fucking ridiculous, isn't it? I'm honest as all hell, and if that's how I lived, I'd admit it. But I don't. I'm seriously neat and organized, and CLEAN.


It feels like fighting a battle that I'll never win.

So, I'm torn with either cleaning the house constantly and being bitter and resentful towards the people that make the messes, OR just leaving it and being embarrassed at the way my home looks, not to mention the mental chaos it creates in my OCD brain looking at the messes everywhere and everyday.

JerseyKRS said:

We need an org OCD parent forum

I said WE

Mach said:

this is seriously the cause of the majority of my distress in my home. Other than this, the home dynamic is incredible. We all get along, never fight, they're (the kids, not Erin ) just slobs and I don't know what else to do anymore. I've tried every tactic you could think of, but nothing lasts.

It makes me just throw my hands up and say "I don't care anymore".

One day, I'm going to build myself a home office in our back yard, and I will spend all my time there.

JerseyKRS said:

I have my very own room and bathroom

I just came off a yr of that " I dont care anymore " backfired on me

I do care and if you are under 18 - living in my home or being supported more than 50 % be me ( us ) then I expect you/them to do their share and clean up afterthemselves now my kids are older then yours and I do not have to remind them to much anymore but sometimes I do

Mach said:

how the hell do I enforce this? We take away things, punish them, you name it, we've done it. Everything continues to end up the same way eventually.

JerseyKRS said:

That's odd, because generally taking things away (i.e. punishment) is pretty effective provided you're consistent with it. I mean what's left to do? Beat 'em?

Jessica's room ( she is 17 )

This is pretty much her norm and I find it acceptable

JerseyKRS said:

you have to be very consistant ( what's the ages again ? ) and you have to well - consistantly remind them to do their jobs

violator said:

Mach said:

exactly, we tell them everyday, and that's part of what drives me nuts. The only time shit is done is if we specifically tell them. Every 10 minutes. It's exhausting living their lives for them, know what I mean?

The two little ones (9 and 10) share a room, and literally had everything but their clothes taken out of their room a few months ago. Shit just APPEARS.

I just want some help. I just want them to care enough to not make more work for ME to do. That's where I really get angry. I feel I do SO damned much for them, which I freely give, and in return it's a virtual "here's some more for you to do Dad, cause we don't care enough to bother with it"


In effect, they're telling me they don't care. That's factual no matter how they try to spin it.

my daughter is 5 and she does very well picking up after herself...

my son is 9 and he's a pig...no amount of incentive, taking shit away or throwing shit away affects him...even when he does straighten up or clean, his version is shitty to say the least...

so, I have no answers/advice for you, but I know where you're coming from...

roodboi said:

this makes me feel so much better.


I love them all so much, but I can not wait until they are out of my house.

JerseyKRS said:

Have you tried telling them exactly this? How much it frustrates you? How it makes you feel like they don't care? 9 and 10 seems old enough to understand that and have some feelings about it. I'd have felt like crap if my mom told me I made her feel that way...

CarrieMpls said:

Yes, I sure did. Like I said, it stays in their head for a week at most, and then it's right back to just making messes everywhere they go.

It sounds harsh, but really, they DON'T CARE.

JerseyKRS said:

Call Super Nanny.





I don't know. I'm sorry.

JerseyKRS said:

mdiver said:

You're just starting. double

JerseyKRS said:

Hell No!
I will do what my mom did. Once I used to toaster over and did not clean it up after wards, I came home and found it in my bed.
My mom would throw away anything that was left on the floor in my room. I had a box full of poems that got thrown away during one of her furies.
My mom always said you have kids to help you do the chores.
I always had chores and if I did not do them I paid the price.

Oh I feel so sorry for our child.

I didnt wash the dishes one night like I was told to do.


My mom woke me up 3 in the morning and made me wash them. wtf
Her father did the same thing to her.

I rant and rave if my house is a mess..the kids and hubby get busy real quick to shut me the hell up!


If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy

JerseyKRS said:

When my sisters and I were kids, my mom had a simple rule: no privileges until the chores were done. That meant no TV until the kitchen was cleaned up after a meal. No playing on Saturday 'til your room was clean (or until the bathrooms were clean or the living room was vacuumed and dusted, etc).

We had no TV or computers or anything like that in our rooms. If we felt like bucking her, we had to go sit there with nothing to do 'til we came around.

My parents did not argue with their kids. They were boss and we did it their way. They did not give alternatives.

Jers, I think I have the answer for you...















Imago needs a job...