Received from a friend via email today.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Men Are Just Happier People--

~ Your last name stays put.

~ The garage is all yours.

~ Wedding plans take care of themselves.

~ Chocolate is just another snack.

~ You can never be pregnant.

~ Car mechanics tell you the truth.

~ The world is your urinal.

~ You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.

~ You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

~ Same work, more pay.

~ Wrinkles add character.

~ People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

~ New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

~ One mood all the time.

~ Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

~ You know stuff about tanks and engines.

~ A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

~ You can open all your own jars.

~ You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

~ Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

~ Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

~ You never have strap problems in public.

~ You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

~ Everything on your face stays its original color.

~ The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

~ You only have to shave your face and neck.

~ You can play with toys all your life.

~ One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

~ You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

~ You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

~ You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

~ You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431
[Edited 1/30/09 11:00am]

Suck it, Neal.

Vendetta1 said:

that keeps my depression at bay as well

:bj:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

All the good ones apply to me too and I'm never depressed either.

Vendetta1 said:

Once again...



...Don't be hatin'!


I'm only the messenger.

And that goes for you too ocean.


tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431

theAudience said:

don't forget that you can also eat a banana at the hardware store!

ZombieKitten said:

without getting hate-crimed?

errant said:

yes, but what do they possibly fill up all that extra time with?

hammering nails?

"You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look".

I think not

If ya have chicken legs, best keep 'em in some pants.

heartbeatocean said:

hammering tails!

~ The garage is all yours.
i don't have a garage

~ Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
i can't get married in church and i'm casseine intolerant

~ You can never be pregnant.
neither can my boyfriend, so i'll never have a kid of my own

~ Car mechanics tell you the truth.
i'm gay, i don't know what the hell they're talking about

~ The world is your urinal.
i'm one of those sad cases who can only pee behind a closed door, alone.

~ Wrinkles add character.
lies. all lies.

~ One mood all the time.
yeah, depressed as fuck.

~ Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
this one is true

~ You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
oh, how blissfully unaware these people are of 30 something gay guys

~ You can open all your own jars.
yeah, right "mom! i need some help here"

~ You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
if that were true, i'd be a millionaire on extra credit.

~ Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
indeed.

~ Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
three? i have 2 and i feel like that's extravagant

~ You never have strap problems in public.
wait, what?

~ You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
must stay calm. no need to get up now and iron my shirt. again.

~ Everything on your face stays its original color.
wait, what? seriously, what?

~ The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
unless you're losing your hair by the minute

~ You only have to shave your face and neck.
every goddamn day though.

~ You can play with toys all your life.
plus, we came with an attached toy to begin with

~ One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
never a more true word

~ You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
if you are blissfully unaware of your own chickenlegs, perhaps

~ You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.


~ You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
if you want to be in the village people, perhaps

~ You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
oh my fcking god, i have to start doing my christmas shopping again!



i'm so f@cking depressed now

we can write our names in the snow

IstenSzek said:

I was gonna say "Now do one for GAY men."

IAintTheOne said:

a little more obvious, maybe, but head & shoulders above the rest...

most of us get to have sex/w women!

most of us never have to have sex w/ men!
[Edited 1/30/09 11:11am]

NDRU said:

you poor thang...

Able to hold coffee, briefcase, AND bagel!

ScarletScandal said:

I'm certainly grateful for those who do!

Whatever. All we have to do is with hold sex and then we'll see who's depressed.

At least women don't have to pretend to have any interest in football.

NDRU said:

or whatever it is coming out of women's mouths.

Vendetta1 said:

LMAO

whats depressing is that most men have to act gay in order to attract women these days

(*joke.rainbow brigade plz let me be)