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Printablevainandy said: It's just according to the circumstances of the situation. Sometimes I'm polite but other times I'm mean as hell if I think I'm being disrespected. For instance, one time, I touched this motherfucker's dick and then I sniffed my hand and smelled pure fish. I asked him if he had been doing something earlier that evening and he said he had fucked his girlfriend earlier. I told him he needed to go home and wash the pussy off his dick and don't ever come back to me with a stanky ass dick because the last thing I want in my mouth is something pussy smelling or flavored.
 So let me get this straight, if you wouldn't have smelled her you would have sucked his dick. | |
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I'm a writer in training. I have a vivid imagination that is the savior during the bad deed and after. 
During--Focus a little bit on what's happening. I think of something sexy like a sensual song or a hotter partner. Or, I think of something random and let my mind expand on it. I daydreamed about making a fruit pizza on one occasion.
After--I use the "soft voice". I am polite, give nice commentary but don't overdo it. I act like I'm gonna call but never ever do. I block the suckers on Yahoo if I've added them and brush them off Myspace and so forth.  That's why my little black book does not exist. It's been a bad luck streak for the kid here. (except for my ex. Lord have mercy. ) | |
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Sex is a conclusion, not an aim. Love...thy will b done | |
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ehuffnsd said: reneGade20 said: To me, bad sex is a misnomer...I've had a couple encounters in my life where it just wasn't happening, but instead of saying "fuck this!", we talked to each other and told the other what was going on...adjusted accordingly...and ended up having a whale of a time...the key is being able to take criticism of your vast sexual prowess constructively....
...as long as there isn't any  or  going on, anyone can improve bad sex....i disagree sometimes the connection isn't there and you can't salvage the sex. Exactly. Peace&BeWild | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: I don't understand how it got that far... I perceive the lack of match long before the clothes hit the floor.
Sometimes a female that U'r friendly with throws the cootch U'r way. Who am I 2 deny? Especially when we had a good friendly relationship. It just didn't translate romantically.  Peace&BeWild | |
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Tremolina said: vainandy said: It's just according to the circumstances of the situation. Sometimes I'm polite but other times I'm mean as hell if I think I'm being disrespected. For instance, one time, I touched this motherfucker's dick and then I sniffed my hand and smelled pure fish. I asked him if he had been doing something earlier that evening and he said he had fucked his girlfriend earlier. I told him he needed to go home and wash the pussy off his dick and don't ever come back to me with a stanky ass dick because the last thing I want in my mouth is something pussy smelling or flavored.
So let me get this straight, if you wouldn't have smelled her you would have sucked his dick. If I hadn't smelled her where, on my hand or on his dick? Oh believe me, if I hadn't smelled my hand first, I definately would have smelled it on his dick before going down and would have told him to leave immediately. That's happened also when I've gotten down there and smelled shitty smelling balls on someone. I immediately say....NEXT! Would I have sucked him if I didn't smell anything? Hell yeah, like a motherfucking Hoover vaccuum cleaner. Afterwards, I would have sent him back to his girlfriend and let him continue to be her problem, not mine. Hell, I just want to borrow him for about 20 minutes.
. . . [Edited 1/6/09 9:09am] Andy is a four letter word. | |
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SoulAlive said: ehuffnsd said: a month or so a go i met up with this hot muscle latino god from the uk that i had been flirting with for a couple of years. i was sooooo excitied that we finally got a chance to hook up.
we had abosultly ZERO sexual chemistry or at least i thought so. about half an hour into things i just realized it was working for me and while he was still going at it, i just looked up at him smiled and said i don't think this is working, pushed him off of me, got dressed, gave him a hug, said thank you and left. Is that it? Ugh! Wake me when you're done.I guess you'll be the only one having fun.... i was soo dissappointed too. he's still in town so i wonder if i should try again. You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
authentic power is service- Pope Francis | |
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reneGade20 said: maybe it's just me, but that seems more likely to be a chick thing...unless it was absolutely a terrible experience (i.e., bad smell or some other bodily-function related snafu), I've never heard any of my guy friends rag on a girl for bad sex...at worst, they'll soldier through it and never call her again...but I've heard lots of women discuss and slam dudes for bad sex....
 My experience was the bodily-function odor thing. I was about to do my GF(at the time) from behind, then I started catching a whiff from a certain area - not good. But I sucked it up, and soldiered through it like a pro.  | |
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uPtoWnNY said: reneGade20 said: maybe it's just me, but that seems more likely to be a chick thing...unless it was absolutely a terrible experience (i.e., bad smell or some other bodily-function related snafu), I've never heard any of my guy friends rag on a girl for bad sex...at worst, they'll soldier through it and never call her again...but I've heard lots of women discuss and slam dudes for bad sex....
My experience was the bodily-function odor thing. I was about to do my GF(at the time) from behind, then I started catching a whiff from a certain area - not good. But I sucked it up, and soldiered through it like a pro.   surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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uPtoWnNY said: reneGade20 said: maybe it's just me, but that seems more likely to be a chick thing...unless it was absolutely a terrible experience (i.e., bad smell or some other bodily-function related snafu), I've never heard any of my guy friends rag on a girl for bad sex...at worst, they'll soldier through it and never call her again...but I've heard lots of women discuss and slam dudes for bad sex....
My experience was the bodily-function odor thing. I was about to do my GF(at the time) from behind, then I started catching a whiff from a certain area - not good. But I sucked it up, and soldiered through it like a pro.   cuz that how we do things!! I had one that queefed and damned near ran me out the room....but I hung in like a trooper....
He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above... 
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related | |
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reneGade20 said: uPtoWnNY said: My experience was the bodily-function odor thing. I was about to do my GF(at the time) from behind, then I started catching a whiff from a certain area - not good. But I sucked it up, and soldiered through it like a pro. cuz that how we do things!! I had one that queefed and damned near ran me out the room....but I hung in like a trooper....
That must have been one hell of a queef for you to want to piece out. surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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KidaDynamite said: reneGade20 said: cuz that how we do things!! I had one that queefed and damned near ran me out the room....but I hung in like a trooper....
That must have been one hell of a queef for you to want to piece out. musta been somethin' she ate....
seriously it was pretty nasty....I don't think it was anything like bad hygiene or what have you...I just got her on a bad day, I guess He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above...
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related | |
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reneGade20 said: KidaDynamite said: That must have been one hell of a queef for you to want to piece out. musta been somethin' she ate....
seriously it was pretty nasty....I don't think it was anything like bad hygiene or what have you...I just got her on a bad day, I guess Wait...are you you talking about a queef or straight up farting? surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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LadyLuvSexxy said: I'm a writer in training. I have a vivid imagination that is the savior during the bad deed and after.
During--Focus a little bit on what's happening. I think of something sexy like a sensual song or a hotter partner. Or, I think of something random and let my mind expand on it. I daydreamed about making a fruit pizza on one occasion.
Lord H'ammercy  | |
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KidaDynamite said: reneGade20 said: musta been somethin' she ate....
seriously it was pretty nasty....I don't think it was anything like bad hygiene or what have you...I just got her on a bad day, I guess Wait...are you you talking about a queef or straight up farting? 'twas a queef...if she woulda farted, I woulda got the hell up out of there....there's only so much I can take.... He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above...
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related | |
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reneGade20 said: KidaDynamite said: Wait...are you you talking about a queef or straight up farting? 'twas a queef...if she woulda farted, I woulda got the hell up out of there....there's only so much I can take.... x 100
But you can't control a queef like you can control farting. surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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KidaDynamite said: reneGade20 said: 'twas a queef...if she woulda farted, I woulda got the hell up out of there....there's only so much I can take.... x 100
But you can't control a queef like you can control farting. exactly my point...if she woulda farted, that woulda just been her being nasty for nasty's sake....  He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above...
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related | |
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reneGade20 said: KidaDynamite said: x 100
But you can't control a queef like you can control farting. exactly my point...if she woulda farted, that woulda just been her being nasty for nasty's sake.... Okay, I gotchu!surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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reneGade20 said: KidaDynamite said: Wait...are you you talking about a queef or straight up farting? 'twas a queef...if she woulda farted, I woulda got the hell up out of there....there's only so much I can take.... You mean you've never had on of your ladies have fart from her pika-chu? It's just a little air that entered her pika-chu from you making her her overly, um, "lubricous" if you get what I'm saying 
But I do suppose one coming from the other end would be gross...can't say THAT's ever happened to me
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Ottensen said: reneGade20 said: 'twas a queef...if she woulda farted, I woulda got the hell up out of there....there's only so much I can take.... You mean you've never had on of your ladies have fart from her pika-chu? It's just a little air that entered her pika-chu from you making her her overly, um, "lubricous" if you get what I'm saying
But I do suppose one coming from the other end would be gross...can't say THAT's ever happened to me
no...I didn't say that...what I said was that one time, the funk was almost enough to end the proceedings.....I know what causes ze` queef....but in the beginning of my sexual journey, one of my "less than knowledgable, yet expert" friends had the crew believing it was because of a lack of size....as in "why is your organ so small?" 
....thank gawd I had older sisters who refused to have a dumbass for a brother.... He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above...
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related | |
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reneGade20 said: Ottensen said: You mean you've never had on of your ladies have fart from her pika-chu? It's just a little air that entered her pika-chu from you making her her overly, um, "lubricous" if you get what I'm saying
But I do suppose one coming from the other end would be gross...can't say THAT's ever happened to me
no...I didn't say that...what I said was that one time, the funk was almost enough to end the proceedings.....I know what causes ze` queef....but in the beginning of my sexual journey, one of my "less than knowledgable, yet expert" friends had the crew believing it was because of a lack of size....as in "why is your organ so small?"
....thank gawd I had older sisters who refused to have a dumbass for a brother.... Lord, I'm still stuck on the funk part . What was it, just B.O.? Or maybe she had some bad tacos or Indian food earlier...??? | |
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reneGade20 said: Ottensen said: You mean you've never had on of your ladies have fart from her pika-chu? It's just a little air that entered her pika-chu from you making her her overly, um, "lubricous" if you get what I'm saying
But I do suppose one coming from the other end would be gross...can't say THAT's ever happened to me
no...I didn't say that...what I said was that one time, the funk was almost enough to end the proceedings.....I know what causes ze` queef....but in the beginning of my sexual journey, one of my "less than knowledgable, yet expert" friends had the crew believing it was because of a lack of size....as in "why is your organ so small?"
....thank gawd I had older sisters who refused to have a dumbass for a brother.... Ohhhhh! 
Well, that would have been on the same level as farting and I would've bounced. surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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uPtoWnNY said: reneGade20 said: maybe it's just me, but that seems more likely to be a chick thing...unless it was absolutely a terrible experience (i.e., bad smell or some other bodily-function related snafu), I've never heard any of my guy friends rag on a girl for bad sex...at worst, they'll soldier through it and never call her again...but I've heard lots of women discuss and slam dudes for bad sex....
My experience was the bodily-function odor thing. I was about to do my GF(at the time) from behind, then I started catching a whiff from a certain area - not good. But I sucked it up, and soldiered through it like a pro. been there...done that! | |
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BobGeorge909 said: uPtoWnNY said: My experience was the bodily-function odor thing. I was about to do my GF(at the time) from behind, then I started catching a whiff from a certain area - not good. But I sucked it up, and soldiered through it like a pro. been there...done that! Damn, what kinda funkdified people are y'all dealing with??? surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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KidaDynamite said: BobGeorge909 said: been there...done that! Damn, what kinda funkdified people are y'all dealing with??? Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, even if it's funky in there. | |
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uPtoWnNY said: KidaDynamite said: Damn, what kinda funkdified people are y'all dealing with??? Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, even if it's funky in there. I swear, I would probably be labeled as an 'asshole' if I were a dude because I would probably hurt a lot of feelings....if I'm gonna fuck a chick and she smelling a little too ripe, my dick would get limp and I would be out of that house faster than James Brown can say "FUNKAY!!!" surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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KidaDynamite said: uPtoWnNY said: Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, even if it's funky in there. I swear, I would probably be labeled as an 'asshole' if I were a dude because I would probably hurt a lot of feelings....if I'm gonna fuck a chick and she smelling a little too ripe, my dick would get limp and I would be out of that house faster than James Brown can say "FUNKAY!!!" For real. I like my sex avante garde, but all that's just a lil toooo special even for me | |
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KidaDynamite said: uPtoWnNY said: Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, even if it's funky in there. I swear, I would probably be labeled as an 'asshole' if I were a dude because I would probably hurt a lot of feelings....if I'm gonna fuck a chick and she smelling a little too ripe, my dick would get limp and I would be out of that house faster than James Brown can say "FUNKAY!!!" Y'all don't know what it's like having a penis - it has a mind of its own. Shit, when I'm at attention, in the throes of passion, sweating like a mfer and ready to explode, I can block certain things out and get the job done. And ladies, ask yourself this. If, during lovemaking, your man tells you, "honey, could you go in the bathroom and hit that thang with the washcloth?", y'all know you'd be pissed. | |
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uPtoWnNY said: KidaDynamite said: I swear, I would probably be labeled as an 'asshole' if I were a dude because I would probably hurt a lot of feelings....if I'm gonna fuck a chick and she smelling a little too ripe, my dick would get limp and I would be out of that house faster than James Brown can say "FUNKAY!!!" Y'all don't know what it's like having a penis - it has a mind of its own. Shit, when I'm at attention, in the throes of passion, sweating like a mfer and ready to explode, I can block certain things out and get the job done. And ladies, ask yourself this. If, during lovemaking, your man tells you, "honey, could you go in the bathroom and hit that thang with the washcloth?", y'all know you'd be pissed. Sorry hun....I do my best to keep my pika-chuu clean and sparkling before anyone comes within 10 feet of it
I do that out of respect for my health, myself, as well as my bed buddy | |
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uPtoWnNY said: KidaDynamite said: Damn, what kinda funkdified people are y'all dealing with??? Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, even if it's funky in there. Lord knows I love funk, but when it comes to sexual experiences, I want all of them to be like Shitney Houston....no funk whatsoever. Andy is a four letter word. | |
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