New topic
PrintableCinnie said: meow85 said: I think trust is easier to find than love, which would explain why my number of sex partners outnumbers my relationships (one!)
I think I get what you mean. I never found myself actually trusting those people though. I have. I can honestly say I've trusted every person I've been with. If I hadn't, I'd have never let them in my shorts. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
JasmineFire said: meow85 said: But this concept of purity has existed for hundreds, if noth thousands of years. STD's are a relatively new development. And why should someone who's had or fathered a child be less pure than someone who hasn't? no they're not. perhaps HIV/AIDS is more recent than herpes, syphillis, chlamydia, and the rest but in no way are STD's a relatively new development. When I said relatively new, I meant in terms of human development. Sorry, should have clarified. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Like everything else, it depends on the person. I've only been with one person (my wife), and I'm thrilled that this is the case. In short, I would not have been even remotely close to being ready for sex with anybody else. I guess that for me, the emotional and spiritual connection that I feel goes along with sex makes it a very special and sacred act. In fact, the mere concept of even kissing another person freaks me the heck out, so I guess a true and deep sense of eternal love is a prerequisite for sex to me. I understand that isn't so for other people, and that's ok. But in my 28 years, I have found that I've only ever been comfortable enough with one person. I don't feel like I've missed out, nor do I feel superior (or inferior) based on my experience. In the end, we all have to resolve what works for us. Feel free to join in the Prince Album Poll 2018! Let'a celebrate his legacy by counting down the most beloved Prince albums, as decided by you! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Moonbeam said: Like everything else, it depends on the person. I've only been with one person (my wife), and I'm thrilled that this is the case. In short, I would not have been even remotely close to being ready for sex with anybody else. I guess that for me, the emotional and spiritual connection that I feel goes along with sex makes it a very special and sacred act. In fact, the mere concept of even kissing another person freaks me the heck out, so I guess a true and deep sense of eternal love is a prerequisite for sex to me. I understand that isn't so for other people, and that's ok. But in my 28 years, I have found that I've only ever been comfortable enough with one person. I don't feel like I've missed out, nor do I feel superior (or inferior) based on my experience. In the end, we all have to resolve what works for us.
That's beautiful.  Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Moonbeam said: Like everything else, it depends on the person. I've only been with one person (my wife), and I'm thrilled that this is the case. In short, I would not have been even remotely close to being ready for sex with anybody else. I guess that for me, the emotional and spiritual connection that I feel goes along with sex makes it a very special and sacred act. In fact, the mere concept of even kissing another person freaks me the heck out, so I guess a true and deep sense of eternal love is a prerequisite for sex to me. I understand that isn't so for other people, and that's ok. But in my 28 years, I have found that I've only ever been comfortable enough with one person. I don't feel like I've missed out, nor do I feel superior (or inferior) based on my experience. In the end, we all have to resolve what works for us.
Fair enough. Above all else that I don't understand about the celibacy movement though, is the air of superiority held by certain people. Just check out some of the comments here and in the Prince thread to see what I mean. It's as if they have to put others down to validate their choice. It's cool you don't do that though, even though your situation's not celibacy.  [Edited 9/28/08 0:31am] "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Moonbeam said: Like everything else, it depends on the person. I've only been with one person (my wife), and I'm thrilled that this is the case. In short, I would not have been even remotely close to being ready for sex with anybody else. I guess that for me, the emotional and spiritual connection that I feel goes along with sex makes it a very special and sacred act. In fact, the mere concept of even kissing another person freaks me the heck out, so I guess a true and deep sense of eternal love is a prerequisite for sex to me. I understand that isn't so for other people, and that's ok. But in my 28 years, I have found that I've only ever been comfortable enough with one person. I don't feel like I've missed out, nor do I feel superior (or inferior) based on my experience. In the end, we all have to resolve what works for us.
Fair enough. Above all else that I don't understand about the celibacy movement though, is the air of superiority held by certain people. Just check out some of the comments here and in the Prince thread to see what I mean. It's as if they have to put others down to validate their choice. It's cool you don't do that though, even though your situation's celibacy. My situation isn't celibacy anymore. 
I must have missed a Prince thread somewhere on this subject. Truth be told, I don't venture over into that forum much these days. It is unfortunate that some people seem to feel the need to put others down for not being a virgin/celibate/whatever. It's an individual choice.  Feel free to join in the Prince Album Poll 2018! Let'a celebrate his legacy by counting down the most beloved Prince albums, as decided by you! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
EmeraldSkies said: Moonbeam said: Like everything else, it depends on the person. I've only been with one person (my wife), and I'm thrilled that this is the case. In short, I would not have been even remotely close to being ready for sex with anybody else. I guess that for me, the emotional and spiritual connection that I feel goes along with sex makes it a very special and sacred act. In fact, the mere concept of even kissing another person freaks me the heck out, so I guess a true and deep sense of eternal love is a prerequisite for sex to me. I understand that isn't so for other people, and that's ok. But in my 28 years, I have found that I've only ever been comfortable enough with one person. I don't feel like I've missed out, nor do I feel superior (or inferior) based on my experience. In the end, we all have to resolve what works for us.
That's beautiful. Thanks! However, some of it isn't so beautiful. I have a loooong history of struggling with self-acceptance (particularly based on my looks), so maybe I'm just a coward. Feel free to join in the Prince Album Poll 2018! Let'a celebrate his legacy by counting down the most beloved Prince albums, as decided by you! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Moonbeam said: meow85 said: Fair enough. Above all else that I don't understand about the celibacy movement though, is the air of superiority held by certain people. Just check out some of the comments here and in the Prince thread to see what I mean. It's as if they have to put others down to validate their choice. It's cool you don't do that though, even though your situation's celibacy. My situation isn't celibacy anymore.
I must have missed a Prince thread somewhere on this subject. Truth be told, I don't venture over into that forum much these days. It is unfortunate that some people seem to feel the need to put others down for not being a virgin/celibate/whatever. It's an individual choice. Oops. Forgot the "not".
I don't understand celibacy or the reasons behind it. At all. I think certain attitudes that are behind some people's choices to be celibate are actually unhealthy. But at the end of the day, it's their choice and their right. I don't think of myself as better than them because I do have sex. Too bad some in the pro-abstinence crowd can't say the same. Did you hear that charmer, Jordin Sparks, commenting on it? She defended abstinence rings or promise necklaces or something of the sort by saying she was proud because she wasn't a slut. What a self-righteous bitch.  "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Did you hear that charmer, Jordin Sparks, commenting on it? She defended abstinence rings or promise necklaces or something of the sort by saying she was proud because she wasn't a slut. What a self-righteous bitch.
Yeah, that is a stupid comment. To be fair, there are a lot of times when being a virgin/celibate is mocked- particularly among teenage boys, at least from my experience. I just wish that in general, people cared less about what others did with their genitals. Feel free to join in the Prince Album Poll 2018! Let'a celebrate his legacy by counting down the most beloved Prince albums, as decided by you! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Moonbeam said: Like everything else, it depends on the person. I've only been with one person (my wife), and I'm thrilled that this is the case. In short, I would not have been even remotely close to being ready for sex with anybody else. I guess that for me, the emotional and spiritual connection that I feel goes along with sex makes it a very special and sacred act. In fact, the mere concept of even kissing another person freaks me the heck out, so I guess a true and deep sense of eternal love is a prerequisite for sex to me. I understand that isn't so for other people, and that's ok. But in my 28 years, I have found that I've only ever been comfortable enough with one person. I don't feel like I've missed out, nor do I feel superior (or inferior) based on my experience. In the end, we all have to resolve what works for us.
Fair enough. Above all else that I don't understand about the celibacy movement though, is the air of superiority held by certain people. Just check out some of the comments here and in the Prince thread to see what I mean. It's as if they have to put others down to validate their choice. It's cool you don't do that though, even though your situation's not celibacy.
[Edited 9/28/08 0:31am] That judgment goes both ways, I think - when someone puts down another's ideas as unhealthy or puritanical. We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| Ex-Moderator |
Genesia said: meow85 said: Fair enough. Above all else that I don't understand about the celibacy movement though, is the air of superiority held by certain people. Just check out some of the comments here and in the Prince thread to see what I mean. It's as if they have to put others down to validate their choice. It's cool you don't do that though, even though your situation's not celibacy.
[Edited 9/28/08 0:31am] That judgment goes both ways, I think - when someone puts down another's ideas as unhealthy or puritanical. 
I think sometimes NOT having sex is the healthiest choice one can make. |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieMpls said: Genesia said: That judgment goes both ways, I think - when someone puts down another's ideas as unhealthy or puritanical.
I think sometimes NOT having sex is the healthiest choice one can make. Having lived both choices as an adult, I concur. We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I was celibate for a year before I met my husband.
I love sex, but I made a conscious decision to stop having casual sex and work on my relationship with myself and work on healing some old shit so I could be prepared if I ever got into a serious relationship again. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The Normal Whores Club | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
The word celibacy hurts my eyes when I see it and ears when I hear it.
I could never, ever do it. Never! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieLee said: The word celibacy hurts my eyes when I see it and ears when I hear it.
I could never, ever do it. Never! Yup. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
celibacy, abstinence, and virginity are all personal decisions, and so I feel where you are coming from meow, on how ignorant some people can be for imposing their personal beliefs on other people.
I live a straight edge lifestyle now, but none of my friends or associates do, and I would never try to guilt them into following my lead. I never even mention it, unless someone asks. And really, safe sex isn't that big of a deal anyway...Although I'm not having it, if the right person came along tomorrow, and I felt like getting it on, than that's nobody's damn business but mine  If you will, so will I | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
So if someone opts to be celibate, do they also abstain from masturbation? | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Genesia said: meow85 said: Fair enough. Above all else that I don't understand about the celibacy movement though, is the air of superiority held by certain people. Just check out some of the comments here and in the Prince thread to see what I mean. It's as if they have to put others down to validate their choice. It's cool you don't do that though, even though your situation's not celibacy.
[Edited 9/28/08 0:31am] That judgment goes both ways, I think - when someone puts down another's ideas as unhealthy or puritanical. I don't think calling glorifying sex as sacred or divine unhealthy is quite the same thing as calling someone who does have sex a raging slut. I do see how someone might be offended by my comment, but I don't think the two quite match up. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Genesia said: That judgment goes both ways, I think - when someone puts down another's ideas as unhealthy or puritanical. I don't think calling glorifying sex as sacred or divine unhealthy is quite the same thing as calling someone who does have sex a raging slut. I do see how someone might be offended by my comment, but I don't think the two quite match up. respect swings both ways...calling celibate 'stupid' (like you did elsewhere) isn't really warranted either.... cause really, why should you care what other's do? if that's what folks choose to do, then that's their life.... why criticize what other's do with their life? | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Flowers2 said: meow85 said: I don't think calling glorifying sex as sacred or divine unhealthy is quite the same thing as calling someone who does have sex a raging slut. I do see how someone might be offended by my comment, but I don't think the two quite match up. respect swings both ways...calling celibate 'stupid' (like you did elsewhere) isn't really warranted either.... cause really, why should you care what other's do? if that's what folks choose to do, then that's their life.... why criticize what other's do with their life? Because, generally speaking, I don't think it's a good idea. There can be exceptions, but a lot of the reasoning behind deliberate celibacy seems to be this notion that sexuality is sacred or divine and to be "kept" or "saved". I don't think that's a healthy way to view sexuality. It sets up all kinds of unrealistic expectations and attitudes about sex. Why is it that 100 people on here can criticize another's idea or position without being called out for being disrespectful (how about those posters that decided to call people who do have sex sluts. I don't see anyone jumping down their throats for being rude.) but I get regular shit flung at me for saying my opinion with the same level of respect they show? It goes both ways, eh? Well, I haven't noticed much coming from the other direction. If I'm a raging, disease-riddled slut with no morals, then they're stupid and naive. I'm sorry, but I can only show as much respect as is granted me. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Because, generally speaking, I don't think it's a good idea. There can be exceptions, but a lot of the reasoning behind deliberate celibacy seems to be this notion that sexuality is sacred or divine and to be "kept" or "saved". I don't think that's a healthy way to view sexuality. It sets up all kinds of unrealistic expectations and attitudes about sex.
Why is it that 100 people on here can criticize another's idea or position without being called out for being disrespectful (how about those posters that decided to call people who do have sex sluts. I don't see anyone jumping down their throats for being rude.) but I get regular shit flung at me for saying my opinion with the same level of respect they show? It goes both ways, eh? Well, I haven't noticed much coming from the other direction. If I'm a raging, disease-riddled slut with no morals, then they're stupid and naive. I'm sorry, but I can only show as much respect as is granted me. but Meow, that's your opinion (thinking it's not good to be celibate) and plus, you're an agnostic, so you won't see the spiritual side of it (or other people's view point). I too, believe a spiritual connection happens during sex, but how is somebody else choosing celibate affecting your life? if a person feels sex is sacred, and they want to be celibate for the right one.. that's them... now, if somebody else wants to have a bunch of partners, hey.. that's their life too...if somebody posted right now that they have 7 sexual partners, it's none of my business..that won't affect me in any kind of way, that's their life... | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Flowers2 said: and plus, you're an agnostic, so you won't see the spiritual side of it (or other people's view point)
i've just skimmed this thread, but christ | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
. [Edited 9/29/08 0:44am] | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Flowers2 said: meow85 said: Because, generally speaking, I don't think it's a good idea. There can be exceptions, but a lot of the reasoning behind deliberate celibacy seems to be this notion that sexuality is sacred or divine and to be "kept" or "saved". I don't think that's a healthy way to view sexuality. It sets up all kinds of unrealistic expectations and attitudes about sex.
Why is it that 100 people on here can criticize another's idea or position without being called out for being disrespectful (how about those posters that decided to call people who do have sex sluts. I don't see anyone jumping down their throats for being rude.) but I get regular shit flung at me for saying my opinion with the same level of respect they show? It goes both ways, eh? Well, I haven't noticed much coming from the other direction. If I'm a raging, disease-riddled slut with no morals, then they're stupid and naive. I'm sorry, but I can only show as much respect as is granted me. but Meow, that's your opinion (thinking it's not good to be celibate) and plus, you're an agnostic, so you won't see the spiritual side of it (or other people's view point). I too, believe a spiritual connection happens during sex, but how is somebody else choosing celibate affecting your life? if a person feels sex is sacred, and they want to be celibate for the right one.. that's them... now, if somebody else wants to have a bunch of partners, hey.. that's their life too...if somebody posted right now that they have 7 sexual partners, it's none of my business..that won't affect me in any kind of way, that's their life... I find it pretty insulting that you equate my agnosticism with a failure to understand spirituality and a blindness to other views. 
I understand spirituality fine, thanks, even if I can't honestly say for sure whether there is a god or gods. What I don't understand is assigning one bodily function spirituality. If sex is spiritual, then so is eating or breathing or sweating or taking a shit. What makes sex so special that it's elevated above everything else our bodies do? "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Flowers2 said: but Meow, that's your opinion (thinking it's not good to be celibate) and plus, you're an agnostic, so you won't see the spiritual side of it (or other people's view point). I too, believe a spiritual connection happens during sex, but how is somebody else choosing celibate affecting your life? if a person feels sex is sacred, and they want to be celibate for the right one.. that's them... now, if somebody else wants to have a bunch of partners, hey.. that's their life too...if somebody posted right now that they have 7 sexual partners, it's none of my business..that won't affect me in any kind of way, that's their life... I find it pretty insulting that you equate my agnosticism with a failure to understand spirituality and a blindness to other views.
I understand spirituality fine, thanks, even if I can't honestly say for sure whether there is a god or gods. What I don't understand is assigning one bodily function spirituality. If sex is spiritual, then so is eating or breathing or sweating or taking a shit. What makes sex so special that it's elevated above everything else our bodies do? well you shouldn't be insulted cause I'm repeating what 'you' said (about you being an agnostic).. someone who doesn't believe that sex and spirituality go together isn't going to relate to others who do believe that (as your last question confirms that and also you said to view it as sacred is not a healthy viewpoint), so no you won't see other's viewpoint.. and again, you are the one going on about celibate being wrong and if you are not celibate then none of this should matter to you.... and certainly the choices other people make have no affect on you ... | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Simply put, why?
I don't mean when a person is celibate and it wasn't their idea. Circumstance can certainly enforce celibacy on just about anyone. But purposeful, deliberate celibacy. What for? Sex is one of the healthiest, most natural acts a being can engage in. I've heard of athletes and performers who practice celibacy before an important game or show, in the belief that they're saving up their energy, but there's no science behind that. There's never been any evidence that not abstaining drains energy away from other faculties. Religious reasons also baffle me. The idea that sex is somehow more sacred than any other bodily function doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Given that the concept of virginity is entirely abstract, a person is neither losing or giving anything away by engaging in coitus. So, how come? What for? I can not tell you my life and thoughs so in a hurry, it is deep. And a choice. A sacrifice maybe also, a promise. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Flowers2 said: but Meow, that's your opinion (thinking it's not good to be celibate) and plus, you're an agnostic, so you won't see the spiritual side of it (or other people's view point). I too, believe a spiritual connection happens during sex, but how is somebody else choosing celibate affecting your life? if a person feels sex is sacred, and they want to be celibate for the right one.. that's them... now, if somebody else wants to have a bunch of partners, hey.. that's their life too...if somebody posted right now that they have 7 sexual partners, it's none of my business..that won't affect me in any kind of way, that's their life... I find it pretty insulting that you equate my agnosticism with a failure to understand spirituality and a blindness to other views.
I understand spirituality fine, thanks, even if I can't honestly say for sure whether there is a god or gods. What I don't understand is assigning one bodily function spirituality. If sex is spiritual, then so is eating or breathing or sweating or taking a shit. What makes sex so special that it's elevated above everything else our bodies do? but meow, us agnostics MUST all be close-minded people incapable of relating to other experiences regardless of background or education! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Flowers2 said: but Meow, that's your opinion (thinking it's not good to be celibate) and plus, you're an agnostic, so you won't see the spiritual side of it (or other people's view point). I too, believe a spiritual connection happens during sex, but how is somebody else choosing celibate affecting your life? if a person feels sex is sacred, and they want to be celibate for the right one.. that's them... now, if somebody else wants to have a bunch of partners, hey.. that's their life too...if somebody posted right now that they have 7 sexual partners, it's none of my business..that won't affect me in any kind of way, that's their life... I find it pretty insulting that you equate my agnosticism with a failure to understand spirituality and a blindness to other views.
I understand spirituality fine, thanks, even if I can't honestly say for sure whether there is a god or gods. What I don't understand is assigning one bodily function spirituality. If sex is spiritual, then so is eating or breathing or sweating or taking a shit. What makes sex so special that it's elevated above everything else our bodies do? Oh, honey - if you don't see the difference between those things... Eating, breathing, sweating and taking a shit are solitary activities. (Some are actually involuntary.) There might be other people around when you do them, but you do them alone. Sex is not a solitary activity. It is a giving and sharing of the most intimate and vulnerable parts of you. If you truly believe that sex is just "bodies bumping together," or a purely physical thing, you don't know what you're missing. It might feel good (really good), but it will never truly be mindblowing. For that to happen, all of you needs to be engaged - not just your genitalia. And I say this as someone who has been where you are - and thought as you think. [Edited 9/29/08 7:57am] We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
UniversalSon said: So if someone opts to be celibate, do they also abstain from masturbation?
If so, then I need to edit my post above. Fuck that! The Normal Whores Club | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I'm cool for the simple fact that I want to be in love and be loved in return by the person I sleep with. I've done the sex without a connection thing. It blows. It's been about 2 years now and I don't miss it. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |