Imago said:

It's awesome!


I'm throwing a brick at you b/c you're trying to upset my Laurel.

Stymie said:

sure


being emotional certainly doesnt make you less of a man...in some cases, it makes you more of one...

and if a man has a family, if he is doing what it takes to meet their needs, then yeah, he's a man...
[Edited 9/22/08 20:32pm]

hokie said:

take off your shirt...

roodboi said:

I did so now what?

you mean besides a dick monger?????




...I can tell you what a man needs to be.

myfavorite said:

What?

Stymie said:

someone peddling their own penis?

ThirdandFinal said:

Sig-worthy!

It's a presence. It's an energy. Irrespective of whether it's a man or a woman.

what a man is, you see...he is.....


shyt, Never mind, i"ll do it myself.

A man is someone who identifies as a man. Usually this person has XY chromosomes, but not always.*

I think as a society we're still very much hung up on gender roles, and the idea of what makes a "real man" or a "real woman", even if it's not something we can properly define.




*That said, I think that some transpeople try too hard to fit into the gender roles prescribed by society. Transwomen being extra girly, transmen being extra butch. But that's for another thread....

firstly lets be real here, not all males can be counted as men, we should discount the mother's boys, who need every god damn thing done for them, we should also discount the anally retentive, those dangerous weak motherfuckers that have never been able to mature either emotionally or sexually, and compensate for their weakness by trying to control everything around them.

then we got those males who can not accept their sexuality, the guys that are gay but are too scared to deal with it, because of social pressure or what ever. these males make up the majority of the dick head male population, they are unable to commit and unable to form meaningful relationships with females. they jump from one woman to another, they are narcisstic and misogynistic.

a real man is a male who can accept their sexuality, can identify with both their feminine and masculine sides and is secure within himself to not feel weak or threatened when confronted by either another male or female with the same level of intelligence and strength.

a real man gets better with age

eraclito said:

I agree...a real man is that and alot more

eraclito said:

very nicely said!

eraclito said:

But when a straight guy admits he "likes fat women" or likes S&M, he's not risking the possibility of job losses, personal attack, and physical harm. "coming out" or accepting oneself is part of a journey, and some people take a long, winding, road.

yeah, I guess you could call it cowardice. But it's unfair to judge them against straight men IMO. Even in 'liberated' countries that allow for civil unions and gay marriage, the world is not a safe place for gay men.

Imago said:

Gay marriage has been legal here for 5 years, but I dare anyone to contend that coming out in a small-town -or even certain neighbourhoods in bigger cities
-is any walk in the park.

meow85 said:

I am now humming Outside by George Michael, somehow...

meow85 said:

My biggest problem is even though I like both sides of the fence, my mannerisms more times than not are straight. So most people I run into have an implied, assumed hetero-connection with me. It makes it very awkward when they're so comfortable in my "straightness" that I sometimes hear an occasional gay joke. I mean, it's that much of a minefield.


Yes, you assholes, my manuerisms are 'straight acting'

Imago said:

i wasn't really referring to coming out of the closet so to speak, that is one's personall choice. what i was inferring is to those who can not accept their sexuality deep to their core, those that hate themselves for feeling in a certain way so much that they become twisted individuals. a lot of homophobia is directly from those who can not accept the homosexual part of themselves, they fear and loathe it.

i have mad respect for any man or woman brave and strong enough to stand up and be who they are.

HamsterHuey said:

HamsterHuey said:

lol

Imago said:

I know what you mean. Though I could build you a mean front porch with the best of the bulls, (really!) I'm more a dresses 'n' makeup kinda gal. Except for other bi women, very few people ever guess I swing both ways, even when I had a shaved head. So, like you, I get to hear certain jokes and comments that most people probably wouldn't otherwise say if I were more obvious.
[Edited 9/22/08 23:25pm]

Let's say there are 5 billion adults in the world. There will be 5 billion explanations on what a man is, by men and women alike. There is no real definition of a man's character, as every person's need of a man is different.

HamsterHuey said:

a dick is a requirement though, right..

eraclito said:

Not necessarily.

meow85 said:

well i was joking, but i would be interested to hear why not..

eraclito said:

OK, I think I know what you mean.
Especially like , in the cases of, Ted Haggard and Senator Larry Craig, not only are they what you described, they have made it exceedingly difficult on other homosexuals.

Imago said:

yeah exactly, i hate them mf'ers

like most ultra right wing bigots, skinheads etc...

meow85 said:

This would make it's own thread.

The situation really sucks because more times than not, the folks I'm talking to or meeting are really nice people. They're just...stuck in a world that doesn't understand... so it's not like I can just pull the 'ole "Well, I completely disagree" thereby ruining both our days. It's a tough situation.
And I don't always handle it well. Normally after hearing something like that, I let the joking and conversation die with swiftness.
It's easy for me to spot a certain kind of racist (I'm referring to the whites who are ok with Asians but tend to dislike blacks and latinos) so I know to avoid those right away. And I know they'll hate gays too.

It's the other ones... the ones I can't quite spot... the middle class, well spoken, ones that throw me off. It's a very uncomfortable situation. I guess much like what Carriempls must have felt on her date with the guy that revealed himself to be a racist, homophobe.

eraclito said:

Transmen. Not all go through the complete surgery, so many transmen don't have penises.