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PrintableHoly Shit! I'm scared. And not about the end times. | |
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IceNine said: AaronForever said: so Icenine... after all that reading/writing, are you a believer? And are the endtimes upon us?
Brothers and sisters, I have looked into the face of fear and I have spoken to God about it! The end is near, my brethren.. but it does not have to be that way. God told me that he would spare the earth and all the God-fearing Chrisitan inhabitants of this planet if each and every one of you will send me $100 in the mail today. If I collect $15 million by the end of the week, God will spare us all... Woe be unto you who doesn't tithe, as you will be the downfall of all humanity! 
I've been to basketball games at Oral Roberts University. That's some scary shit!  | |
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Genesis Chapter 8
8:1 And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark: and God made a wind 2 pass over the earth, and the waters asswaged; 8:2 The fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained; 8:3 And the waters returned from off the earth continually: and after the end of the 150 days the waters were abated. 8:4 And the ark rested in the 7th month, on the 17th day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat. 8:5 And the waters decreased continually until the 10th month: in the 10th month, on the 1st day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen. 8:6 And it came 2 pass at the end of 40 days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made: 8:7 And he sent 4th a raven, which went forth 2 and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth. 8:8 Also he sent 4th a dove from him, 2 see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground; 8:9 But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned un2 him in2 the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her, and pulled her in un2 him in2 the ark. 8:10 And he stayed yet other 7 days; and again he sent 4th the dove out of the ark; 8:11 And the dove came in 2 him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth. 8:12 And he stayed yet other 7 days; and sent 4th the dove; which returned not again un2 him any more. 8:13 And it came 2 pass in the 601st yr, in the 1st month, the 1st day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and, behold, the face of the ground was dry. 8:14 And in the 2nd month, on the 7 and 20th day of the month, was the earth dried. 8:15 And God spake un2 Noah, saying, 8:16 Go 4th of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons' wives with u. 8:17 Bring 4th with u every living thing that is with u, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth. 8:18 And Noah went 4th, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him: 8:19 Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went 4th out of the ark. 8:20 And Noah built an altar un2 the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 8:21 And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart,  will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will again smite any more every thing living, as have done.
8:22 While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. -------
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti... "I've just had an apostrophe!" "I think you mean an epiphany..." | |
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Genesis Chapter 9
9:1 And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said un2 them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth. 9:2 And the fear of u and the dread of u shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; in2 ur hand r they delivered. 9:3 Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat 4 u; even as the green herb have :I: given u all things. 9:4 But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall u not eat. 9:5 And surely ur blood of ur lives will :I: require; at the hand of every beast will :I: require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will :I: require the life of man. 9:6 Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: 4 in the image of God made he man. 9:7 And u, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein. 9:8 And God spake un2 Noah, and 2 his sons with him, saying, 9:9 And :I:, behold, :I: establish my covenant with u, and with ur seed after u; 9:10 And with every living creature that is with u, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with u; from all that go out of the ark, 2 every beast of the earth. 9:11 And :I: will establish my covenant with u, neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth. 9:12 And God said, This is the token of the covenant which :I: make between me and u and every living creature that is with u, 4 perpetual generations: 9:13 :I: do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be 4 a token of a covenant between me and the earth. 9:14 And it shall come 2 pass, when :I: bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud: 9:15 And :I: will remember my covenant, which is between me and u and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood 2 destroy all flesh. 9:16 And the bow shall be in the cloud; and :I: will look upon it, that :I: may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth. 9:17 And God said un2 Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which :I: have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth. 9:18 And the sons of Noah, that went 4th of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan. 9:19 These r the 3 sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread. 9:20 And Noah began 2 be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: 9:21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. 9:22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his 2 brethren without. 9:23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. 9:24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done un2 him. 9:25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be un2 his brethren. 9:26 And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. 9:27 God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. 9:28 And Noah lived after the flood 350 yrs 9:29 And all the days of Noah were 950 yrs: and he died. -------
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti... "I've just had an apostrophe!" "I think you mean an epiphany..." | |
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You people have too much time on your hands. Somebody should use that time to write my paper for me.  I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
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Natsume said:
You people have too much time on your hands. Somebody should use that time to write my paper for me. Write your paper on translating the bible to Princebonics and you can help us out while you do your paper!!!  SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred | |
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There shall, in that time, b rumors of things going astray,
and there shall b a great confusion as 2 where things really r, and nobody will really no where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not no where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night b4, about 8 o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril.. [This message was edited Sat Nov 16 13:35:55 PST 2002 by BorisFishpaw] | |
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IceNine said: Natsume said:
You people have too much time on your hands. Somebody should use that time to write my paper for me. Write your paper on translating the bible to Princebonics and you can help us out while you do your paper!!! That's a GREAT idea! Then I can waste my time AND fail my class! 
 I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
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BUMP...
Does anyone else want to assist in this massive undertaking? We want to offer it as a gift to Prince when completed. SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred | |
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Badass! I love you people. I really do. Makes me forget all about Natashas fat-people thread.
I will post some contributions to this project tomorrow. . .I think I'll work on some Psalms.
Doves, Mel!ssa | |
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IceNine said: BUMP...
Does anyone else want to assist in this massive undertaking? We want to offer it as a gift to Prince when completed. Well, i could write a Perl script, substituting normal English into Princelish... PS Icenine al this bible stuff just gave me a thought; did you already started a thread about jesus, if he ever existed, had to be a woman ? I mean, just from a biological point of view, woman can only give birth to a boy if she gets the Y-chromosome from the father. Well if Maria was still a virgin whilst giving birth, she could have only passed two X-chromos, ergo a girl. right? You don't scare me; i got kids | |
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Aerogram said: The Princebonic Bible
Genesis Chapter One 1:1 In the bginning God created the heavens and the earth. 1:2 Now the earth was without shape and empty, and darkness was over the surface of the watery deep, but the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the water. 1:3 God said, “Let there b light.” And there was light! 1:4 God saw that the light was good, so God separated the light from the darkness. 1:5 God called the light “day” and the darkness “night.” There was evening, and there was morning, marking the first day. 1:6 God said, “Let there b an xpanse in the midst of the waters and let it separate water from water. 1:7 So God made the xpanse and separated the water under the xpanse from the water above it. It was so. 1:8 God called the xpanse “sky.” There was evening, and there was morning, a second day. 1:9 God said, “Let the water under the sky b gathered 2 one place and let dry ground appear.” It was so. 1:10 God called the dry ground “land” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” God saw that it was good. 1:11 God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: plants yielding cds according 2 their kinds, and fruit trees baring fruit with cd in it according 2 their kinds.” It was so. 1:12 The land produced vegetation—plants yielding cds according 2 their kinds, and trees baring fruit with cd in it according 2 their kinds. God saw that it was good. 1:13 There was evening, and there was morning, a third day. 1:14 God said, “Let there b lights in the xpanse of the sky 2 separate the day from the night, and let them b signs 2 indicate seasons and days and years, 1:15 and let them serve as lights in the xpanse of the sky 2 give light on the earth.” It was so. 1:16 God made two great lights—the greater light 2 rule over the day and the lesser light 2 rule over the night. He made the stars also. 1:17 God placed the lights in the xpanse of the sky 2 shine on the earth, 1:18 2 preside over the day and the night, and 2 separate the light from the darkness. God saw that it was good. 1:19 There was evening, and there was morning, a fourth day. 1:20 God said, “Let the water swarm with swarms of living creatures and let birds fly above the earth across the xpanse of the sky.” 1:21 God created the great sea creatures and every living and moving thing with which the water swarmed, according 2 their kinds, and every winged bird according 2 its kind. God saw that it was good. 1:22 God blessed them and said, “B fruitful and multiply and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds multiply on the earth.” 1:23 There was evening, and there was morning, a fifth day. 1:24 God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according 2 their kinds: cattle, creeping things, and wild animals, each according 2 its kind.” It was so. 1:25 God made the wild animals according 2 their kinds, the cattle according 2 their kinds, and all the creatures that creep along the ground according 2 their kinds. God saw that it was good. 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.” 1:27 God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them. 1:28 God blessed 2 them, “B fruitful and multiply! Fill the earth and subdue it! Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that moves on the ground. 1:29 Then God said, “I now give you every seed-baring plant on the face of the entire earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will b yours 4 food. 1:30 And 2 all the animals of the earth, and 2 every bird of the air, and 2 all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant 4 food. It was so. 1:31 God saw all that he had made—and it was very good! There was evening, and there was morning, the sixth day. [This message was edited Sat Nov 16 9:15:47 PST 2002 by Aerogram] well at least y'all r studying! {walks around with her ruler} u 4got the "I's" are EYE's... {spanks aero with her ruler} | |
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AlfofMelmak said: IceNine said: BUMP...
Does anyone else want to assist in this massive undertaking? We want to offer it as a gift to Prince when completed. Well, i could write a Perl script, substituting normal English into Princelish... PS Icenine al this bible stuff just gave me a thought; did you already started a thread about jesus, if he ever existed, had to be a woman ? I mean, just from a biological point of view, woman can only give birth to a boy if she gets the Y-chromosome from the father. Well if Maria was still a virgin whilst giving birth, she could have only passed two X-chromos, ergo a girl. right? If god wants a son, it gets a son! Argue your point with a zealot, you will find that god does not have to follow any rules and can do anything that it wants to do, no matter what. It is pointless to try to discuss issues such as that with them, as they will always simply say that god can do whatever "he" wants. :LOL: SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred | |
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