hmmmm.


That's a weird one for me to answer because I'm not at my prime right now, though I'm trying to transition into an in-shape, handsome 40 something if I can.

I think most folks (there are exceptions) live an Ugly Duckling style life. You're either a gorgeous kid or teenager, than you fug-out; or, you start off as an ugly duckling, and then bloom. But then you carry alot of emotional baggage from the ugly duckling phase with you. I think only a small percentage are ever good looking all the way through life, or ugly all the way through life.

I was a very cute young child, then ended up being an awkward, dorky teenager. Then in my 20's I ended up going through "cute" phase again. About 7 years ago, then 2 years ago, I plumped out, and I do not wear weight well. Now I'm definately on the downswing, and starting to look a bit more handsome again.

So I know what it's like to both charm folks simply with a smile, and to creep them out with that same smile depending on where my weight is .... And believe me, folks do find you utterly creepy if you're heavy---Like pimples , it's a universal detraction save for a few fringe folks with off-the-beat tastes. (before I get lambasted, I said there ARE always exceptions. I'm just stating the 'norm', and my experience.)

So I'll answer it in two parts:

Here's what it's like when I'm in shape and considered "cute":
I walk into a store, the clerks will overlook people and speak to me first (this happenned alot in my 20s). I could mistreat women to some extent (sleep with them and not call, break up with them when I wanted to sleep with another, then get back with them when the mood suited me), and they would more times than not, come back---NOTE: I don't think this works once women reach a certain age though.
I could tell the exact same joke one of my dorkier friend told and I'd get alot more laughs. When I applied for jobs, if I turned the resume in person, I'd always get a call to come in for an interview. Whenever I went to gay bars, I would be approached multiple times a night (and by the good looking guys--not the trolls). My dorm room was grand central station and I never had to worry about not having company. Also, all of my best friends tended to be very good looking. I didn't have any ugly best friends...AND THIS WAS NOT DELIBERATE... it's like good looking men just migrate towards each other. It's a strange strange phenomenon. For women it might be different. Some good looking women have a dumpy friend at their side always--don't know what thats about.

WHEN I'M FAT and NOT-SO HOT
I can walk into a store, and I rouse suspicious looks...If anyone bothers to look at me at all.
When I crack a joke, I'll either get someone who finds it wildly amusing like they were watching Rodney Dangerfield tell the joke, or get creeped out like Rodney Dangerfield was trying to flirt with them or something--but it was never about them being charmed by me.
I would be ignored in gay bars (and straight bars), except for the rice queens--they'll fuck ANY Asian.
Although I never had problems with jobs, whether I got hired or not would rely souly on my resume and credentials. There was no point in trying to win folks over in an interview--The rule of thumb was to just be polite, answer articulately, and cross your t's and dot your i's.
Also, when you're fat and feeling less-than-your-best (I'm speaking ONLY for me of course), you tend to look at EVERYTHING in a negative light. Going for a jog seems like it's just too much trouble. It's too much trouble to put on pair of inline skates. Too much trouble to go to the gym. Too much trouble to sometimes get out of bed. There's a roadblock or excuse for EVERYTHING.
And when I looked at good looking folks? Sometimes I would envy them. Sometimes, I would forget that at one time, I was like that. But sometimes, the ones in great shape and those who took great care of themselves would inspire me.
But always I would notice them. PRETTY PEOPLE GET NOTICED whether it's hate, jealously, envy, or it's admiration, inspiration and the like. Pretty people get noticed.


So I've been on both sides of the park--not perfectly model like... but definitely cute enough to fuck. Or fat and dumpy--not Quazi Moto, but rundown enough to be ignored or worse.


This makes you realize that when it comes to looks, we all go through our phases. Most everyone has an ugly duckling phase. It's only in those times that you begin to realize how cruel folks can be, but it's when you're climbing out of those dark periods when you have to tell yourself that making excuses for how you look or feel does nothing for you. Everyone can look their best if they really try. Everyone.
But if you see someone who just isn't your type or you think they're dumpy, just bear in mind--a few years ago they might not have looked like that at all. And a few years from now they may be quite the catch. You're only looking at a snapshot in their lives, so unless you put forth the effort to dig a bit deeper, you could be missing out on something truly beautiful.




I posted that for applause
[Edited 8/16/08 14:22pm]

Imago said:

OMG, every single word - every single freaking word - I relate to; and you can add that to my 'this person already said it for me' list. Seriously. You took the words right out of mouth.




I love you, you crazy fool.








(Btw, I'm still Orging so I'll speak to you later ).


.
[Edited 8/16/08 14:36pm]

that was a physically beautiful post dan

i LOVED how u spelled quazi moto..LOVED it!

sweet said:

Dan's posts remind me Joyce Wildenstein. He can go back and edit as much as he whats but it's only going to get uglier.

sweet said:

Dan's posts remind me Joyce Wildenstein. He can go back and edit as much as he whats but it's only going to get uglier.

sweet said:

Dan's posts remind me (of) Joyce Wildenstein. He can go back and edit as much as he whats (wants) but it's only going to get uglier.

an old man said to me today outside the supermarket
"good morning, you're looking mighty pretty today"

I was not frowning for a change

ZombieKitten said:

There's that "Booty Call" U need!

Amaxx said:

I think he'd left his glasses at home AND he was looking into the sun

ZombieKitten said:

Give yourself a break damn it! Woman!

Amaxx said:

the only compliments I get are from strangers on the internet and old blind geezers, it doesn't really count

ZombieKitten said:

So what would count as a valid compliment then Lady!!!!!?????

Amaxx said:

real person who is under the age of 50

honeypot69 said:

Ocean too!

Amaxx said:

aww
I have to agree with imago on this one..I've had times in my life where I felt and looked like a dork ....and not at all attractive and times where I felt that I was attractive (or at least as attractive as I could be with what I've been given ) As far as being physically beautiful ..I have never felt that and I have wondered myself how it would feel to be beautiful

hmmmm.


That's a weird one for me to answer because I'm not at my prime right now, though I'm trying to transition into an in-shape, handsome 40 something if I can.

I think most folks (there are exceptions) live an Ugly Duckling style life. You're either a gorgeous kid or teenager, than you fug-out; or, you start off as an ugly duckling, and then bloom. But then you carry alot of emotional baggage from the ugly duckling phase with you. I think only a small percentage are ever good looking all the way through life, or ugly all the way through life.

I was a very cute young child, then ended up being an awkward, dorky teenager. Then in my 20's I ended up going through "cute" phase again. About 7 years ago, then 2 years ago, I plumped out, and I do not wear weight well. Now I'm definately on the downswing, and starting to look a bit more handsome again.

So I know what it's like to both charm folks simply with a smile, and to creep them out with that same smile depending on where my weight is .... And believe me, folks do find you utterly creepy if you're heavy---Like pimples , it's a universal detraction save for a few fringe folks with off-the-beat tastes. (before I get lambasted, I said there ARE always exceptions. I'm just stating the 'norm', and my experience.)

So I'll answer it in two parts:

Here's what it's like when I'm in shape and considered "cute":
I walk into a store, the clerks will overlook people and speak to me first (this happenned alot in my 20s). I could mistreat women to some extent (sleep with them and not call, break up with them when I wanted to sleep with another, then get back with them when the mood suited me), and they would more times than not, come back---NOTE: I don't think this works once women reach a certain age though.
I could tell the exact same joke one of my dorkier friend told and I'd get alot more laughs. When I applied for jobs, if I turned the resume in person, I'd always get a call to come in for an interview. Whenever I went to gay bars, I would be approached multiple times a night (and by the good looking guys--not the trolls). My dorm room was grand central station and I never had to worry about not having company. Also, all of my best friends tended to be very good looking. I didn't have any ugly best friends...AND THIS WAS NOT DELIBERATE... it's like good looking men just migrate towards each other. It's a strange strange phenomenon. For women it might be different. Some good looking women have a dumpy friend at their side always--don't know what thats about.

WHEN I'M FAT and NOT-SO HOT
I can walk into a store, and I rouse suspicious looks...If anyone bothers to look at me at all.
When I crack a joke, I'll either get someone who finds it wildly amusing like they were watching Rodney Dangerfield tell the joke, or get creeped out like Rodney Dangerfield was trying to flirt with them or something--but it was never about them being charmed by me.
I would be ignored in gay bars (and straight bars), except for the rice queens--they'll fuck ANY Asian.
Although I never had problems with jobs, whether I got hired or not would rely souly on my resume and credentials. There was no point in trying to win folks over in an interview--The rule of thumb was to just be polite, answer articulately, and cross your t's and dot your i's.
Also, when you're fat and feeling less-than-your-best (I'm speaking ONLY for me of course), you tend to look at EVERYTHING in a negative light. Going for a jog seems like it's just too much trouble. It's too much trouble to put on pair of inline skates. Too much trouble to go to the gym. Too much trouble to sometimes get out of bed. There's a roadblock or excuse for EVERYTHING.
And when I looked at good looking folks? Sometimes I would envy them. Sometimes, I would forget that at one time, I was like that. But sometimes, the ones in great shape and those who took great care of themselves would inspire me.
But always I would notice them. PRETTY PEOPLE GET NOTICED whether it's hate, jealously, envy, or it's admiration, inspiration and the like. Pretty people get noticed.


So I've been on both sides of the park--not perfectly model like... but definitely cute enough to fuck. Or fat and dumpy--not Quazi Moto, but rundown enough to be ignored or worse.


This makes you realize that when it comes to looks, we all go through our phases. Most everyone has an ugly duckling phase. It's only in those times that you begin to realize how cruel folks can be, but it's when you're climbing out of those dark periods when you have to tell yourself that making excuses for how you look or feel does nothing for you. Everyone can look their best if they really try. Everyone.
But if you see someone who just isn't your type or you think they're dumpy, just bear in mind--a few years ago they might not have looked like that at all. And a few years from now they may be quite the catch. You're only looking at a snapshot in their lives, so unless you put forth the effort to dig a bit deeper, you could be missing out on something truly beautiful.




I posted that for applause
[Edited 8/16/08 14:22pm]

how does it make you feel?

Sweeny79 said:

I agree.

artpal said:

I watched some of your documentary artpal, VERY interesting!!

Stymie said:

I think we all imagine that (at least those of us who aren't do), and to an extent I agree (from what I've experienced in life and also studies I've read about) but from what some of the physically beautiful people here have said, that must not be the case because they're experencing a backlash or a sort of reverse discrimination.

applekisses said:

What I came away with in the film is that it's really nice and has its advantages, but it's not all that it's not the key to true happiness.
[Edited 8/19/08 12:51pm]

artpal said:

Of course its not.